Forsaken (5 page)

With little else to do, I hopped in
his grandmother’s small convertible and headed for all the shops
along the ocean.

I squinted in the sun as I walked
along the sidewalk. Everything was so bright here. I felt so
exposed with the lack of towering evergreens around me. And there
were so many people.

“
Where do you want to go
for lunch?”

“
Did you hear about
Alexis?”

“
I think we should go to
that party tonight. We can always sneak out.”

I was hearing everything. Every
conversation that was going on within a fifteen foot radius of me,
not a word escaped my ears. I heard every intake of breath, every
scratch as fingernails scraped over dried out skin.

Not even realizing where I was going,
I bumped into a young couple. I squeezed my eyes and looked away as
I got out of their way, noticing how the young woman was admiring
the sparkling rock that was recently placed on her finger. My
breathing came in sharp gasps as I pressed my hands to my
temples.

Desperate for some quiet, I ducked
into a café that looked to be fairly empty. I ordered a sandwich
and a drink and went to sit out on the back deck that over looked
the water.

I took a raged, deep breath in, trying
to calm myself down. The looks from the two guys working inside
made my stomach squirm. The way my skin glowed in the pounding sun
made me all the more uneasy. Maybe coming to California with Alex
was a mistake.

I looked down at the sandwich on my
plate and pushed it away. It was a waste of money to get it. I was
never hungry anymore. I probably wouldn’t eat more than a few times
a week if Alex didn’t make me. Just one more thing that was wrong
with me.

At first I hadn’t noticed the one
other person who had been sitting out on the deck. But as I heard
his voice coming from behind me, I froze. My palms started sweating
and a huge lump formed in my throat. I would recognize that voice
anywhere.

“
Yeah, I’ll talk to you
later,” he said and I heard a cell phone being hung up.

I made sure my hair covered my face,
was extra self-conscious that the brand wouldn’t be showing. My
heart sank into my stomach as I heard him shift, heard the way his
breath caught in his throat, heard him stand and take a step
towards me.

“
Jessica?”

I squeezed my eyes closed, swallowing
hard.

“
Jessica? Oh my…” he gave
a small chuckle. “Is that you?”

And then he stepped in front of me.
Jason Walker, the one who had driven me out of California and into
Washington.

“
It is you,” he said with
a little chuckle, his dark brown eyes narrowing, the dimple in his
right cheek showing. “Hi.”

“
Hi, Jason,” I managed to
squeak out.

“
What are you doing here?”
he asked, his voice coming out more demanding than I hope he had
meant it to.

“
Um, on vacation?” I
didn’t mean for it to come out like a question.

“
By yourself?” he asked as
he sank into the chair across from me. It was amazing how little he
had changed in the two or so years since I had seen him last. He
still had the same clean-cut brown hair, his dark eyes just as
penetrating, his mannerisms exactly the same.

I shook my head. “No, I’m with
someone. You visiting your parents?”

“
Yeah,” he said as he
nodded. His expression was almost puzzled as he looked at me. I saw
that same expression cross my face sometimes when I looked at
myself in the mirror. “Yeah, I have two weeks off in between
semesters so I came down to see them for a bit.”

I nodded, unsure of what to say. If my
nerves were on edge before, they were about to crack
now.

Jason continued to stare at me for
several long moments, that same puzzled expression on his face.
“You’re different,” he said. His eyes never left my
face.

I didn’t say anything in
response.

“
In a good way, I think,”
he added.

I just chuckled and shook my head, my
eyes glued to the table between us. I then noticed there was a gold
band wrapped around one of his fingers.

“
You’re married?” I asked
before I thought about what I was going to say. Guess I could have
used a little more tact.

He glanced down at his hand. “For just
over a year now. We met at Stanford.”

“
That was quick,” I said,
a bit more sharply than I should have.

Jason’s eyes narrowed, his expression
hardening. “And what about you? How many guys have you scared away
since me?”

My eyes fell to my hands in my lap. I
felt like he had punched me in the stomach. “Do you really want to
go there, Jason?”

“
Sure, why not? Have you
screwed with any other guys lives with your nightmares? Your
delusions?”

“
I don’t have them
anymore,” I murmured into my lap.

Jason just chuckled as he looked
around us. “Of course. Why am I not surprised?”

I ground my teeth
together, my fists forming into hard balls. I felt the hairs around
my brand stand on end. From somewhere inside the café I thought I
heard someone say “
Are you going to let
him treat you like this
?”. But then, why
would someone say something in that context, right at that moment?
I must have been imagining it.

“
There is someone, you
know,” I said as I finally looked up to meet him in the eye. His
smug look fell just slightly. “And he’s far better to me than you
ever could have hoped to be.”

“
Oh yeah?” he said as he
leaned in toward me, his arms folding on the table. “And does this
guy know about the angels?”

“
He does,” I said, never
letting my stare back into his face waver. I wasn’t going to let
Jason hurt me again. I’d gotten over him long ago.

“
And just how serious is
this relationship?”

“
It doesn’t get much more
serious.”

“
Then why don’t you have a
ring on
your
finger, Jessica? What’s holding him back?”

I felt like my insides had finally
cracked and I became hollow inside. My eyes fell to the table once
again, unable to take the cruel look that was building in his
eyes.

“
You see, Jessica. No one
is ever going to be able to handle you. Your family couldn’t. I
couldn’t. This guy eventually won’t be able to. As long as there
are ‘angels’ in your life, you’re going to be alone.”

My breathing sped up and
black spots formed on my peripheral vision. And suddenly a familiar
tingling started on the back of my neck.
“Why are you taking this from him?”
the words resonated from a place inside of me.

My fists clenched all the harder and
my blood boiled. “You’re wrong,” I finally said. “I don’t have to
explain anything to you, about who he is, what he’s done for me,
what I’ve been through since you hurt me so badly I had to nearly
flee the country. But you’re wrong.”

“
Am I?” he asked with a
cold smile.

I sat back in my seat, staring him in
the eye. As I did, a strange expression came over his face. The
calculating smile was replaced by a look of confusion, almost fear.
But my blood was still boiling. “How did I ever waste any of my
time on you?” I said coldly, shaking my head slowly.

Jason’s eyes whipped around, looking
for something I didn’t see. When his eyes fell back on me, they
were wide with unease.

“
I have to go,” he said,
his eyes twitching from side to side again.

“
Please do,” I said,
watching as he rushed out the doors. As he fled, I felt my brand
prickle just slightly once more before a warm breeze washed it
away.

It took several long minutes for me to
collect myself enough to get up. As I headed towards the doors
Jason had run through, I caught a glimpse of a set of dark eyes
watching me before they disappeared. An all too familiar chill
worked its way up my spine.

I spent the rest of the day trying to
pretend the conversation with Jason had never happened, trying to
pretend I hadn’t felt my brand act up. It hadn’t acted up since I
had nearly died. I wasn’t going to acknowledge that it was telling
me something. So I pushed it all away and blew way too much money
on things I didn’t need.

Alex walked back through the doors of
the house looking worn down but satisfied. “Crisis taken care of,”
he said as he wrapped his arms around me as we stood on the
balcony.

“
I’m glad,” I said,
feeling distracted as I looked out over the water, my cheek pressed
into Alex’s chest.

“
Is something wrong?” he
asked, his lips brushing the top of my head as he spoke into my
hair.

I shook my head and pressed my lips
tight together. “I just missed you.”

“
Come on,” he said as he
pulled me back inside. “Get changed. You’ve got to come try out the
water!”

“
You mean swimming in the
ocean?” I asked, fear peaking my voice.

“
Of course,” he said as we
stepped into his room. “You can’t come to Laguna Beach and not go
in the ocean.”

“
You know I can’t wear a
swimming suit,” I said as I froze in the doorway.

Alex had just pulled off his shirt but
froze and turned around to face me. The evidence of why I couldn’t
wear some skimpy bikini was evident on his own back. I saw emotions
clashing in his eyes as he was brought back to our reality. Again I
felt a pang of guilt for ruining his life.

“
Never mind,” I quickly
recovered. “I’ll just wear my tank top over it.” That brought his
smile back.

We didn’t actually swim much. After a
few minutes in the water we ended up on the beach as the light was
fading in the sky, turning it a brilliant pink. I lay on my back in
the sand, Alex propped up on one elbow looking down at me. The back
of his hand traced down my jawline, creating tingling sensations.
He dipped his head down and pressed his lips softly to mine. He
shifted his weight, pulling his body on top of mine. One hand
circled around my waist, pulling me as close to him as
possible.

My head spun as Alex’s lips trailed to
my throat, his hand sliding over my stomach. Before I knew what was
happening next, I was scooped into his arms and we were tumbling
through the door and into the massive shower in the master
bathroom.

I screamed and giggled as the icy
water pounded my skin. My back met the tiled shower wall as the
water slowly turned warm, Alex pressing tighter against
me.

His hands came to my stomach again,
sliding under the tank top I wore. As our lips moved together he
slid it slowly up until it came over my head and fell to the floor
with a slop.

My hands wrapped around Alex’s
shoulders, sliding over his ridged muscles, trailing down his back.
My fingers brushed over the heavy scars there, my insides doing
strange quivers.

In one fluid movement Alex hoisted me
up and my legs wrapped around his waist. His fingers were just
drifting to the clasp of my top when he froze, his entire frame
coming to a standstill.

“
What am I doing?” he said
with a raged breath, placing a hand on the shower wall, his
forehead resting against mine.

“
Not as much as I want you
to be doing,” I moaned, at the same time disentangling myself from
Alex. He chuckled, bringing his hands up to either side of my face,
and biting his lower lip.

“
I’d better be careful or
I’ll be earning my own brand in a second,” he said. I tried to give
a return chuckle, even though I didn’t find any part of that
statement funny. He pressed a quick kiss to my lips and took a step
away. “Um, did you bring any concealer with you?” he said
sheepishly, his finger touching the side of my neck.

“
What were you trying to
do?” I teased as I brought a hand to my neck to cover the mark that
was apparently already blooming.

He merely gave a shrug with a wry
smile and stepped out of the shower. He grabbed both of us a towel
and we went back to his room.

After grabbing my clothes I took an
actual shower, a really cold one, and grabbed a drink while Alex
showered after me. I lay on his bed, picking a piece of paper I saw
sticking out of the end of Alex’s bag. It was actually a
picture.

It was taken the night on the yacht,
down in Seattle. The night Cole had kidnapped me. It had been
snapped just fifteen minutes or so before Cole had let me know he
was there, even though he was invisible.

A reflection of the light brought my
eye to my left wrist, the one that was encircled by the bracelet
Alex had given me at Valentines. The one I never took off, except
to shower. My gaze drifted up to my fingers. There should have been
another piece of jewelry there from Alex. The one I had waited
every day to receive for the last four months.

Alex walked back into the room, only a
towel wrapped around his waist.

“
Hey now. I thought we had
established that we were being good,” he said slyly as he walked to
his bag and pulled out some clothes.