Forsaken Dreams (45 page)

Eliza clutched her skirts and stepped from the wobbling boat onto the shore. Sand squished beneath her shoes as waves caressed her stockinged legs. Holding her valise in one hand and her skirts in the other, she waded the short distance to the beach where passengers who had already arrived waited. Turning, she shielded her eyes from the sun and watched as Blake helped sailors hoist supplies from the hold using a series of pulleys strung over the yards.

Bare-chested, his back—now bronze from the sun—glistened in the bright light. Beside him, Moses, also bare-backed, and Hayden lowered smaller crates and barrels into the waiting boats. No, she couldn’t tell him. She wouldn’t. What good would it do? The past was the past. She couldn’t change it. Nor could she change what Stanton had done.

She glanced over the other colonists. Angeline, Stowy in her arms, assisted Sarah and Lydia into the shade of a banana tree. Magnolia, along with her parents, perched on a crate beneath a palm, the ever-present Mable fanning them all as best she could. Mr. Dodd’s excited gaze shifted from his map to the jungle then back to his map again. Children played tag with the incoming waves, while most of the men assisted in offloading crates and barrels from the incoming boats. Even Mr. Lewis, in his normal sponged condition, hefted a large sack onto his shoulder and hauled it ashore in an effort to help. Graves, however, stood off to the side smoking one of his cigars and staring at the jungle with a most peculiar look on his face. She’d meant to tell Blake about her conversation with the strange man, but the revelation about the pocket watch had pushed all other thoughts from her mind.

Slipping off her wet shoes, Eliza wandered down the beach, watching as her stockinged toes sank into the sand, wishing she could bury her past just as easily.
Why, Lord? Why do you place this truth on me now? When I’ve finally found happiness? Oh what am I to do?

“You have to tell him.” Though Eliza had not spoken her prayer out loud, the answering voice was as audible as if God were standing right beside her. Heart seizing, she turned to see James looking at her like a schoolmaster with a pupil. Oh how she hated that look! She’d seen it enough on her father’s face to last a lifetime.

“What good would it do?” She swung about and continued walking.

He slid beside her. “It may do no good at all, but that doesn’t matter. It’s the right thing to do.”

“He will hate me.”

“Possibly.”

Eliza kicked a wave, sending foam into the air. “I could not bear it. Not again.”

James halted her with a touch, stuffed his hands into his pockets, and stared at her with that look again.

Shielding her eyes from the sun, she forced pleading into her tone as she met his gaze. “You won’t tell him, will you?”

“Not my place.”

“And you’ll still marry us?”

He nodded. “But you must do one thing for me in return.”

Eliza’s breath huddled in her throat.

“Pray,” James said. “Ask God what you should do, and then do it. If you do that, I’ll never say another word about it. I promise.”

Sounded simple enough. God wanted her to be happy, didn’t He? God was a God of mercy. Surely He wouldn’t punish her for something Stanton had done.

She barely had time to nod her agreement when Angeline, Sarah, Magnolia, and several other ladies descended on her with excited voices and giddy smiles, all agog with plans for her wedding.

As the ladies drew her away, Eliza cast one last glance over her shoulder at James, who gave her a nod. The praying she could do. The obeying she’d never been very good at.

“You did good work today, Moses.” Blake laid the final hewn log on the pile and turned to see the black man’s features in the darkness.

“Yessir. Thank you.” Moses wiped a cloth over his brow and stopped to catch his breath.

Blake did the same. They had worked side by side all day. First on the brig, hoisting goods into boats and then on land, chopping wood for fires. And Blake had learned one thing about the large Negro. Well, maybe two. He was a hard worker. He didn’t complain. And he was kind. Three then. Yet there was one thing that had troubled Blake all day, ever since Moses had taken off his shirt.

“Moses, the stripes on your back. Where did you get them?” The words had barely left Blake’s mouth before he silently chastised himself for his boldness.

But Moses seemed unaffected. “I don’t mind, sir.” The large man stretched his back. “Dem stripes are the compliment of my former master. Dat man loved his whip.” He chuckled.

Blake found nothing amusing about it. “You’re such a hard worker. I can’t imagine anyone ever being displeased with you.”

“He was displeased with everything, sir. Didn’t matter so much what any of us slaves did.”

“How did you get free from him?”

“We didn’t. After de war, he threatened to shoot any of us who tried to run away.” He kicked the sand, the first indication of any anger within him. “He shot my wife. My wife in God’s eyes, since they wouldn’t let us get married proper.”

Shock sped through Blake along with a sinking feeling that twisted his gut into a knot.

Moses lowered his gaze. “Shot ‘er right in de back.”

“I’m sorry.” Blake knew the words were meaningless, but he didn’t have any others to offer.

“I ran away after dat.” Moses lifted his gaze to the dark sky strewn with clusters of stars. “My wife be in glory now. An’ I forgive him.” He shrugged as if he were forgiving a slap on the face or the theft of a small object, not the stripes marring his back and the death of his wife.

Confusion ripped Blake’s reason to threads. “How can you do that? Forgive so easily?”

“Not up to me, sir. I ain’t de judge. That be God’s place. Besides, He’s forgiven us more than we deserve.”

Blake wanted to ask him what kind of judge allowed such injustice, but Captain Barclay marched toward him and slapped him on the back. “Excellent work today, Colonel!”

“Thank you, Captain.” Blake turned back to see Moses’ dark figure fading into the shadows.

“Are you sure you ain’t interested in becomin’ my first mate?” the captain continued. “You not only learned to handle a ship in two months better’n any seaman I seen, but you’ve organized this disorderly group into a civilized camp in a single afternoon. I could use a man like you.”

Blake glanced down the beach. Flickering light from two massive fires spread a glowing sphere over the sand and pushed back the encroaching shadows of the night. Around them colonists sat on logs and trunks, chattering excitedly about the days ahead. A massive tent for the ladies stood stark against the dark forest. The men would sleep on the sand. He’d already assigned three shifts of two watchmen to stand guard throughout the night.

“I appreciate the offer, Captain, but I believe I owe it to myself and these people to give this colony my best shot.”

“Well, if anyone can do it, you can.”

Hayden, cup in hand, slogged in the sand toward them, followed by James. “Captain, when do you set sail?” James asked.

Captain Barclay scratched his beard. “Was goin’ to leave tomorrow, but I believe I’ll stay for the weddin’ and festivities and leave the day after. My men could use a good party.”

At the mention of the wedding, Blake realized he hadn’t seen where had Eliza gone off to. He had left her after dinner over an hour ago. Now she was nowhere in sight.

James slapped a bug on his arm. “We will miss you, Captain. It’s been a pleasure sailing with you and your crew.”

“Agreed,” Hayden added with a quick nod. “Thank you for taking me on board.”

“You are a good worker, Hayden. We were glad to have you.” Captain Barclay gazed at the
New Hope
, nothing but a dark silhouette against a smoky horizon, and chuckled. “Though ‘twas quite a voyage, I’d say. Ne’er had so much bad luck on one trip before.”

“But God saw us through,” James added with a smile.

Hayden grunted and sipped his drink.

“Indeed,” Captain Barclay said.

“What are our plans, Blake?” Hayden asked. “After the wedding, of course.” He winked.

Other than the wedding night?
Blake couldn’t help but smile—and warm at the thought—but he quickly rubbed his mouth before the others noticed. “The emperor said the donkeys and wagons should be here in five or six days. We wait for them to show up and—”

A loud screech blared from the jungle, sounding half human, half beast. The hair on Blake’s arms stood at attention as all eyes shot toward the sound. The colonists grew silent. Blake peered into the dark maze so full of life that it undulated and billowed as if it were alive. “I was told there were no longer any natives here, but I thought I saw something earlier. A person.”

“Probably a trick o’ the sun is all.” Captain Barclay spat to the side. “An’ that there was probably just a monkey. For such tiny creatures, they sure make quite a clatter.”

Blake loosened his tie. That didn’t sound like any monkey he’d ever heard. But then again, he hadn’t heard that many monkeys in his lifetime. “After the donkeys arrive,” he continued, “we pack up and hack our way inland. The emperor told me there is some prime farming land just a mile or two upriver.”

James rubbed his hands together. “I can’t wait to get started.”

Hayden glanced toward the colonists around the fire, his eyes alighting on Angeline—or was it Magnolia?—Blake wasn’t sure.

“It will be hard on the ladies,” Hayden said. “Going through the jungle.”

James followed his gaze and frowned. “They survived a precarious sea journey. They will survive this.”

“What of the lady who tossed herself into the sea?” Captain Barclay asked.

“She seems quite recovered,” James said, his eyes, too, on Angeline.

Hayden tossed the rest of his drink into the sand.

“Her mood does seem much improved,” Blake offered even as the lady’s laughter echoed over the sand. “Speaking of moods, mine would be much improved if I could find my fiancée. She seems to have disappeared yet again.”

Hayden cocked a brow. “You’ve got quite a handful in her.”

Smiling, Blake started down the beach, turning to face the men as he walked backward. “I commanded a regiment of over a thousand men, how hard can it be to handle one small woman?”

Eliza knelt in the sand and stared across the dark sea. A half-moon rose on the horizon, frosting the tips of ebony swells. The crash of waves joined the buzz and chirp of a myriad night creatures singing in the forest behind her as the smell of salt and smoke and moist earth filled her nose. She breathed it in like an elixir. This beautiful place was her new home, would be her new home, and she would be Blake’s wife tomorrow.

If everything worked out as she hoped. As she dreamed.

She fingered the locket around her neck. “Oh Mother. I wish you could meet him.” A shooting star caught her eye, drawing it to the thousands—no, millions—of stars flickering against the dark sky. “Lord, You said all things work together for good.” At least she thought she remembered a verse like that. When was the last time she’d even read her Bible? Sarah had been so faithful to read hers every day, even offering to read passages out loud to Eliza, but Eliza had never had time.

“I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to You very much, Father. You know I believe in You and I love You. There’s just been so much going on. Please forgive me.” She bit her lip, waiting for a burst of thunder or maybe lightning to strike, but instead a light breeze whisked over her as if God, Himself, were caressing her face. She smiled, emboldened to continue. “I love Blake. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a man. Strong, protective, smart, kind, honorable, and good. And he loves me—can you believe it?” She chuckled. “Me?” Poking a finger into the sand, she began sliding it through the warm grains. “But there’s this thing, this unimaginably horrible thing that Stanton did. Well, You know.” Even now she felt the weight of the pocket watch in her skirt. She had wanted to toss it into the sea. Should have tossed it. But something held her back. It wasn’t hers to throw away. In truth, it didn’t belong to her at all.

It belonged to Blake.

A tiny crab skittered up to her leg, stopped, and then dashed away. She glanced down the shore where lights from the two fires flickered in the distance. “I don’t know what to do. What good would it do to tell him?”