Forsaken Dreamscape (Nevermor) (4 page)

“You
talk to the fairies,” Adele said, chirping as happily as the birds.  “
I
saw a fairy.”

Wren
didn’t respond, unsure how she felt about the comment.  She had already talked
about this once today for the sake of appearances, and she didn’t want to go
into it again, yet Adele kept staring at her relentlessly with large, hollow
eyes.

“It
was in my room, the fairy was,” Adele went on, nodding furiously to confirm her
tale. “It was black like a shadow, but it wasn’t.  It moved on its own.  It was
a
boy
!”

She
giggled deliriously at that, covering her mouth and looking about to see if a
nurse had heard her, but Wren only wanted to tell her that it wasn’t a fairy
she had seen.  She wanted to turn her face away and ignore the other girl, annoyed
that she was being mocked.

But
wait…
 
A shadow?  A boy?  Could Adele’s conversation be more than a cry for
attention?  If she did see what she claimed, then…

“What
did it look like exactly?” Wren asked lowly.  Adele seemed nearly overwhelmed
to have gotten a reaction.  She was positively quivering with excitement.

“It
was a boy,” Adele confirmed again, sticking a finger in her ear absently.  “He
was hovering over my bed.  I watched him for a long time, but he didn’t move
much.  Eventually, he went away.”

Wren
rose up, interested now.  She moved closer to Adele, lowering her voice to a
whisper in hopes that the nurses would not hear their conversation.

“And
it was like a shadow?” Wren asked quietly, her heart beating faster.  “Did he
say anything to you – this fairy?”

“No,”
Adele said hesitantly, ashamed that she had to admit it, but she perked up
again directly after, “but it did remind me of my dream!”

Wren
felt her face grow hot, wondering what had brought on the flare until she
realized that she was feeling the heat of jealousy.  Did this girl deserve to
dream more than she did?  Was it possible that Adele had seen Nevermor when
Wren could not find it?

“What
dream?” she asked firmly, trying to keep her focus on the girl’s darting eyes.

Adele’s
face lit with pleasure.  “I saw an ocean – it was a
black
ocean! – and I
was walking along the shore.  I was alone, but then I saw someone and I went
toward him…”

Adele
hesitated, looking past Wren as a distant look came into her eyes.  Her chest
began to heave with short, rapid breaths as she recalled it.

“He
looked at me,” she said, shuddering.  “His eyes were on fire!  They were on
fire
!”

The
girl had become irate, a look of horror in her eyes as she professed this
truth.  Before Wren could step away, Adele had gripped her arms, shaking her as
if to punish her lack of understanding.

“
Burning
!”
she screamed, her eyes like deep pools.  “
They were burning
!”

Wren
tried to push Adele away from her, but the girl’s grip was viselike, her jagged
nails scraping her flesh.  She did not find relief until a nurse and orderly
came forward, taking the girl by the arms, talking her down.  Their voices
managed to soothe her enough that Adele simply reverted to a state of
bewilderment, as if she’d not remembered her outburst.  Wren, however, wanted
no part of it.

She
slipped away behind the cage, waiting for her heart to slow as Adele was led
back to her cell.  What the girl had said troubled Wren more than the violent
outburst.  Had she truly seen a shadow that was not attached to anything?  Was
it the truth, or could she cast it off as the ranting of a lunatic?  Sadly,
there was no way to know.  There never was here, but today Wren was left with a
feeling that she’d never been willing to accommodate before.

Is
that what I sound like to them?
she wondered.

Everything
she thought she had known about her life came back to her now and settled in
her stomach, making her feel sick.  Around her, the birds continued to chirp,
their lives undisturbed by the incident.  They were without care or concern. 
Wren envied them.

2

The
hours passed, and another day had managed to age her.  Wren lay in the asylum
bed, eyes closed but not asleep, yet to anyone who might pass by, not awake. 
She was covered up to her chin with the thin, dingy blankets, but she was far
from restful.  This day had opened up a familiar door in her mind, and she had
foolishly stepped through it.  Her head was flooded with memories of the past –
of Nevermor.

The
ocean and the beach; the way the forest had smelled in the morning; the dreams
that formed the land and the nightmares that threatened it.  She thought of
dances by firelight as the boys ran wild, drunk off their kills, their faces
painted with blood.  They had all seemed so happy with that life.  Wren had
been disapproving of some of their behaviors – the cursing and the blood
rituals – but she would give anything to have that back now.

Rifter
realized that there was more to life than being young and reckless forever.  He
was ready to change.  But how much can I expect?  Will he think I’ve outgrown
him?  It’s been four years…

“
Are
you awake
?”  The ghostly whisper slipped to her through the dark, clenching
her heart and making her shiver.  Wren came back to herself to see a deep
shadow treading over the stone floor, moving closer to her bed.

Who’s
there?

She
was startled, uncertain for a moment before she recognized the voice coming
from within the dark shape.

“I
saw the fairy again.”

Adele.
  Wren could not
see the girl’s features in the darkness, but her height and outline revealed
her identity.  Even knowing who it was, Wren could think of a few things less
unsettling than waking up to another inmate standing over her bed.

“How
did you get into my room?” she asked cautiously.

“I
stole the nurse’s key,” Adele said happily, holding up the dangling piece of
metal on a chain.  “Come on!  It’ll get away!”

Adele
darted back toward the hallway where the door was standing open, unlocked, and
by the time Wren was able to rise up after her, the girl had already slipped
out.

“
Wait
!”
Wren hissed, stepping into her slippers.  Though she had an opportunity to
leave her cell unrestricted, her fear of being caught was very real.  While
here, she had tried her best to stay in line, but she was not oblivious to the
punishments that might have awaited her.  She knew what happened to girls who
were unruly.

But
the shadow.  I have to know
.  That was all the persuasion she needed to follow
Adele out.

By
the time she had gotten into the hallway, the other girl had already slipped
out of sight.  Wren did not have much time to be cautious.  She moved swiftly
into the darkened hall.

The
unmapped corridors of the female ward were frightening in the dark, the bowels
of a beast that had swallowed her.  Wren had never been out alone and the cage
which housed her was suddenly much too big.  Her breathing quickened.  She felt
faint.

Just
take a deep breath
. 
She followed her own direction. 
Be calm and do what you must do.

At
that, she was able to take a few steps forward.  She needed to see what Adele
had to show her – to judge it for what it was.  Perhaps it was a figment of the
girl’s imagination, but there was a possibility that it might have been more.

“This
way!”  Adele’s whispery voice drifted to her from around the corner, sounding
like an omen, but Wren could not turn away.

She
crouched low, hoping that she wouldn’t be seen by any of the other patients as
she passed.  There were small windows in the doors, and some of the girls were
very much like her: they never slept.  Even now she could hear some of them
groaning, muttering to themselves as they paced.  Wren was unsure of her
performance, but she kept herself down and moved forward, her pale gown
clinging to her legs.

Following
after Adele, Wren left the ward and passed into another part of the building,
where she began to feel even more nervous.  There were voices ahead that made
Wren want to turn around, but they managed to find a clear path around a pair
of orderlies who were busy making lewd jokes and laughing heartily.  Her heart
thudded until the voices slipped behind her.

Edging
around the corner, she saw Adele moving forward.  Wren knew these hallways
well, and she knew where they led, for she was guided along this way several
times a week.

Witherspoon’s
office…

“Are
you certain that the fairy went this way?” Wren asked, using terms Adele had
related. “I’m not sure if this is a good idea.”

Wren
began to suspect that this was not about the shadow any longer, but merely
Adele’s private excursion.  She did not want any part of that, but her neurotic
companion would not back down.

“Do
you want to see it or not?”

Adele
disregarded her then, moving to the door – behind which Wren had emptied most
of her secrets and memories – turning the key in the lock.  The hinges groaned
as it opened to reveal the smallest glow from a gaslight, lit and waiting for
someone to come in and give it more life.  Wren took in a shaky sigh and
followed Adele inside, preferring that to being caught in the hallway when a
watchman came by.

The
office was just as she had seen earlier, only darker, with the windows hidden
by curtains, but it seemed unforgiving now, like a funeral parlor.  The walls
of this box did not care about her fears or her crimes.  This was the end of
the line.

“Do
you see it anywhere?” Adele whispered.  Wren had already been looking
tentatively around the room, searching for any sign of dark movement, but
nothing seemed out of place.

“I’ve
never been in this office at night,” Adele said rapidly, rubbing her feet along
the carpet in long strides.  She was clearly thrilled beyond measure.  “Do you
think he’s handsome?  Dr. Witherspoon, I mean.  I told him once that he had a
nice smile, and he ignored me!  I wonder if he’s married…”

Adele
went on, but Wren was no longer listening.  She had not seen any suspicious
shadows, and she had begun to suspect that this was all a waste of time.  She
would be happier back in her cell, reconsidering her misfortune.

What’s
that?

Adele
was chirping on in the background, touching everything that was not locked away
as if they were on holiday instead of trespassing.  As Wren stepped near the
desk, she saw that among the many books piled near the edges, there was a lone
journal resting there.  It was not difficult for her to recognize the worn
edges and the scribbled writing on the cover.

It
was her own casebook.  Witherspoon had left it out after their session that
day, perhaps.

What
does he think of me?
she wondered now, touching the rough face of the book.

She’d
always believed that she had never wanted to know what the doctor wrote about
her – that it didn’t matter – but as she looked down at the journal now, the
temptation was too much.  Without more thought, Wren was lifting the cover,
turning through the pages of notes about her stories and her supposed
condition. The words of his judgment cut across her vision.

Delusional…withdrawn…often
catatonic…obsessive…  In denial; fails to acknowledge her crime, but continues
to tell her story consistently…

Wren
turned to the last written page – his thoughts after today’s meeting.

In
the years she has been here, she has never acted violently, but I find myself
growing tired of the same stories.  There has been no progress in my time with
her.  I have already been considering more extreme measures, and now I believe
that I must go forward.  Something must be done to free her from her dream
world.  She has to be woken up.

Wren’s
fingers grew weak.  The casebook slipped from her hands and closed on the
desk.  Extreme measures?  What did that mean?  The possibility of undesirable
treatment rolled past her mind. 
Hydrotherapy, please not that
…  Did
Witherspoon truly think her case deserved worse?  More importantly, was the
threat of this worth breaking away from her story?  Would the punishment on the
other side of committing murder be worse?

Wren
was jolted, barely able to realize that her breath was coming in shallow gasps,
making her feel lightheaded.  She had completely forgotten about Adele’s fairy
until a darkness passed in front of the gaslight, leading Wren to jerk her head
up.

Her
first fear was that they had been caught.  She would be confined to a tiny
prison as punishment before finding out the truth of her ‘
extreme measures
’.

“Did
you see it?” Adele whispered excitedly.  “The fairy!  I told you!”

Wren
tried to follow the movement with her eyes, but it was only a flicker across
the stone wall.  The shape was indistinguishable, but there had been movement,
undeniably.  Something had been there!