Fortunes & Failures - 03 (30 page)

I’ve been given—we’ve all been given the chance to start over. I think I know why the movie and book versions of the zombie apocalypse had such a following. It was the fantasy of breaking free from a life void of real meaning and purpose. It was a chance to start over and reinvent yourself. Nobody could be sociopathic enough to wish death on such an enormous level. It wasn’t about the zombies at all. It was about re-birth and renewal. No different really than the Christians who wait for Rapture. In fact, I seem to recall a series about just exactly that called
Left Behind
or something. It was humanities last chance for redemption. Huh. Look at me…all philosophical and junk.

“Can you keep a secret that nobody else in the whole place knows yet?” What the hell was I thinking? Asking a ten-year-old girl if she could keep a secret?

“Uh-huh,” Emily nodded vigorously.

“I asked her and she said ‘yes’ just yesterday.” Wow, had it really only been one day? “We’re gonna announce it at dinner tonight…so no fair tellin’
anybody
!”

“Not even Thalia?” She drew that name out almost long enough to match her enormous smile.

“Not even Thalia.” That answer seemed to be very satisfactory, which I don’t pretend to understand why. “Now, let’s go find Dr. Zahn.”

“I—” I had no idea what to say. I searched my feelings and was a little disappointed in myself when I realized that I’d written Randall Smith off for dead a long time ago. Therefore, I guess I’d already grieved his loss at some point. That, or I was just getting way too used to people I know dying. “I’m sad for you, sweetie,” I finally answered.

“Can we put a cross with his name on it next to the others?” Emily asked as we turned away from the trench and headed toward the stream where the doctor was supposed to be. She and Brad had decided to go try their luck at fishing.

“Absolutely,” I replied.



“…and as soon as that fire burns down, I want that last section dug out,” I said.

Everybody was seated at the long table that we’d set up in the lobby. This would be where we ate our meals and discussed all matters pertaining to the group.

“I’ve got something,” Jon said, and stood up. “I think we need to be doubled up on the watches for the next week at least. While the smoke doesn’t seem to attract zombies, all the gunfire might bring more. Plus, the smoke might bring survivors which we all know can be a mixed blessing.”

“Sounds good,” I nodded. “We’ll start tonight.”

“Also, Sanchez gave me the inventory numbers and I have some bad news…we used up almost our entire stock of ammunition.”

Everybody at the table took a second to process that latest bombshell. Personally, I hoped we started running as low on bombshells as we did shotgun shells. I’d had quite enough.

“Okay,” I clapped my hands and looked around at everybody. “Anything else?” Nobody spoke. “Very well, then I have a little something to announce.” I glanced at Melissa who smiled and nodded. “As you all know, Teresa is expecting.” There was a murmur of acknowledgment and some polite clapping. “We will be welcoming life into our lives for a change instead of death. Well, I’m happy to say that she will not be alone in her maternity. Melissa is also pregnant.” A loud round of cheers and applause erupted. I accepted the back slaps and waited until all the hugging and such heaped on Melissa died down.

“However, I have another announcement,” I raised my voice to get everybody’s attention again. “Jon, on a ship, the captain has certain functions he can perform. Since you are the senior enlisted man, that sorta puts you in that role here.”

“Whoa, Steve,” Jon help up his hands. “I think it’s been established that you are the leader here.”

“Okay, good,” I nodded and smiled. “Now, shush! I’ve asked Melissa to marry me and she’s said yes! I would like you to officiate the ceremony.”

Then the room just got silly. You’d have thought that I’d just announced that all the zombies had fallen over and stayed dead for good. There was a wall of noise that I couldn’t talk over, so I sat quietly and waited for everybody to settle back down.

“So,” Dr. Zahn stood, “when will this event take place?”

“Well…” I glanced at Melissa, we hadn’t really decided on the when. Honestly, we hadn’t had the time to discuss it.

“Thirty days,” Melissa spoke up. “Thirty days gives us enough time to organize this. I realize that we won’t be able to do anything super extravagant, but I’d like to at least put a little something together. Plus, Dr. Zahn said that Steve might be using a cane by then if he continues to rehab as well as he is.”

“That’s excellent,” the doctor nodded. “Then I’d like to see Messers Beebe and Sanchez before they leave for their supply run tomorrow.”

I let the conversation continue, my attention turned to Thalia and Emily. I searched their faces for a response to all this excitement. Thalia was staring down at her plate and Emily was leaning in close, whispering in her ear. Something was definitely wrong. Thalia kept shaking her head.

I pushed back from the table and Jamie, who was a few seats down, did the same. As I got up on my crutches, he moved to intercept me.

“Do you have a second?” Jamie whispered in my ear.

“Umm…” I glanced over at Thalia. Emily was still leaned in close, whispering. “A second is about all, then I’ve got something I need to take care of.”

The two of us went out to the porch, leaving the noisiness behind. The sun was setting and a chill in the air reminded me that we were about done with summer.

“Not yet.” Jamie shook his head. “I couldn’t until we—” His mouth snapped shut and he just stared at me with an emptiness that made my heart hurt.

“How?” I asked, not that it mattered.

“In the woods, “ Jamie said with a sigh. “I was setting a trip-wire. All it was was a head! Just a fucking bodyless head under a bunch of leaves and crap.”

“The woods,” Jamie said with an ominous finality. “You took that other group down out in the woods. I think it would be best if you and I slip out. Then we can deal with this…away from the others.”

By ‘the others’, I know he meant Teresa. Which brought the thought slamming into my chest. I would have to not only kill Jamie, but also tell Teresa what had occurred. Once again, a terrible decision was heaped onto me.

“So?” Jamie was insisting. I hadn’t heard him because of being so wrapped up in myself. I took a deep breath and told myself that this wasn’t about me.

“I’m sorry, Jamie,” I forced myself to snap out of the beginnings of a wave of self-pity. “The only concern I have is my ability to move. Perhaps I can talk to Jon—”

“No,” Jamie snapped. “We’ve been through too much. Don’t send me out there with a stranger.”

“But I can’t just go stomping around in the woods,” I protested. “Surely you must realize—”

“Then take me out to that last campsite,” Jamie pleaded. “Nobody has to know where we are, and it’s not like somebody will come there looking for us.”

“Okay,” I conceded. “But I will tell Jon where we’re going. With how things have been lately, I’m not gonna just go traipsing off with you and not let somebody know where I’m at.”

Jamie nodded and left me standing there wondering what I was going to say to Teresa. How could I explain to her that I’d taken the father of her child out into the woods to shoot him like Old Yeller? I decided my best course of action would be to find Jon and just go. I’d have to worry about this whole thing, one step at a time.



“I know that,” I interrupted, already very aware of the validity of that argument. “But we’re gonna take the trail to number thirty campsite and wait it out there.”

Jon paused on his side of the picnic table where I sat. I could see his concern, and it was warranted…to a point. But I’d seen the look in Jamie’s eyes. He didn’t want to be sitting there, dying with a man who, while not exactly a stranger, didn’t share as deep of a bond. That was when I realized just how tightly knit that small core of us were. Jon and his men had only been with us for a couple weeks and this was a very intimate and personal moment that he had asked me to partake in.

“Tomorrow evening,” Jon finally said. “If I don’t see you by then, I’m coming.”

“Fair enough.” I nodded. It was just in time as I could see Jamie making his way to the picnic grounds. “Now, just keep Teresa off our ass. I’ll tell her tomorrow when I get back.”

“Better you than me.” Jon patted me on the shoulder and left. He met Jamie on the way and the two had a brief exchange of some sort. Probably commiseration, I thought as I got up and waited for the young man.

Once he reached me, we headed down the trail in silence. There wasn’t much to say, really. Besides, I had enough trouble navigating the trail on crutches. Trying to talk at the same time was just asking for it. Eventually, we reached the campsite. It was little more than a clearing cut into the lush forest with a picnic table, a concrete bordered fire pit with a black, slightly rusted grill, and a useless post with a covered electrical outlet and a water spigot. This site was the farthest from the visitor’s center, probably about a mile up a slightly rolling and winding trail that would likely be overgrown within two years’ time.

“Remember camping as a kid?” Jamie asked as he set the knapsack on the picnic table and unloaded its contents. “I used to go with Aaron, Billy, and Joseph all the time. It seemed like as soon as one family got back, another would leave. Now that I think about it…I’m pretty sure our families planned it that way to keep us busy all summer.”

“Nine years ago,” I said as I sat down at the table. “That was the last time I think I went camping. It’s funny, I always meant to go, but just never cleared my calendar.”

Then we both just sat there and let the silence of nature fall over us like a blanket. Jamie went over to a tree and sat against it. When his eyes closed, I pulled out my .45 and set it on the table, then covered it with the empty knapsack.

I watched the young man’s breathing become slow and regular. I said a little prayer that he would pass in his sleep. The second most disturbing aspect of this would be watching him struggle with death. After an hour, I switched sides on the picnic table. It wasn’t that he was that far away, but when his eyes opened, I needed to be able to see them.

At some point, I drifted off. My head must’ve dropped because that’s what snapped me back to consciousness; that feeling of suddenly falling. When I opened my eyes, the shadows had crept in, adding a very real gloom to the scene.

A low moan came from where Jamie sat in the shadow of a huge pine tree making the hair on my arms stand up. This was it; I sighed and pulled the gun from where I’d concealed it on the table. Habitually, I checked, then double-checked to ensure that the safety was off.

I began to play the scene out in my mind. I would let Jamie get up. I had no doubt that he would come for me; I was only a dozen or so feet away. I would do him the courtesy of looking him in the face when I shot him. I would be certain that I could take him down with one shot. Another moan drifted on the late afternoon air, adding to the settling chill.

“Give me the gun, Steve,” a voice from behind me made me jump, sending a ripple of pain from my leg.

I turned to see Teresa stepping through the thick growth. Her face passed through a shaft of sunlight, revealing her red, swollen eyes.