Found by You (22 page)

My dad was never good at small talk. But again, I gave him the time he needed. It seemed he was ready when he didn’t have any beer left. He chugged it back then rested it on the counter. I felt the need to do the same. He came over to me near the island and rested back against it. I did the same.

“Now you know I’m not about getting into your business, Griff,” he said, his gaze hard as he stared down at the floor.

I did know that. He always trusted us, trusted our decisions. I knew that when he supported me after deciding to take a chance on ball instead of going into work with him and my brothers in construction. “Yeah, Pop?”

He nodded. His blond whiskers moved when he worked his mouth before speaking. “I normally wouldn’t say anything, but you’re my kid and I gotta do my job. Guide you. I know I haven’t been the best at it without your momma.”

“You’ve been fine, Pop. What’s this about?” I had to admit I was kind of worried now that he was bringing Mom up. He’d done fine with us, and we always let that be known. I could imagine it was hard raising four boys into men without a woman to help, but he’d done a damn fine job.

“I guess I just want to know,” he said, finally looking at me, “what you think you’re doing with that girl you brought?”

His statement caused my eyes to widen. “Roxie? What do you mean?”

Did he for some reason disapprove of her? I noticed he wouldn’t really look at her and wasn’t really listening when she was talking, but I didn’t understand. I casted it off. He had no reason not to like her.

“Like I said, I’m not trying to get into your business,” he said, raising his hand while he spoke. “But I’ve seen the type of girls you’ve dated, like that one you brought down here last time, and you bringing that girl you brought today just don’t make sense. She doesn’t really seem to,” he paused, searching the floor as if scanning for a word, “
fit
you or your lifestyle.”

Now I pushed off the counter. What was he getting at? How did Roxie not
fit
me, as he said? He could have been referring to all kinds of things, but the one that set off red flags was one of the more obvious differences between us. Her race. But that just didn’t make sense. My dad wasn’t a racist man. Never had been. He gave no reason for me to think of him that way. I was a product of him and considered myself very culturally aware. We grew up around people of color in school and the clubs and activities we were in. I didn’t get it, and I was about to ask him, but he continued.

“You’re young and I can imagine you’re still in that mindset of feeling like you still got running to do, and that’s fine if that’s what you want.” He huffed, pushing off the counter. “I really don’t want to get on you or lecture you, but that is a nice little girl you brought, and you shouldn’t be messing with her if your mind ain’t right for her yet.”

My jaw dropped at the turn of the conversation. I moved my mouth, but words weren’t really coming out. Eventually, I got out a confused, “Pop?”

He crossed his beefy arms, shifting on his boots restlessly. It looked like it took all he had in him to keep this conversation going. “You’re grandmamma really likes her, Griff. She and your aunt are upstairs now fiddling with her and getting all attached. You got to be conscious of that. It’s not fair to them and it’s not fair to that little girl. I’m just saying that she is the type of girl you marry. She’s the one you settle down with. Make a family with. You don’t mess around with her and confuse her feelings. You just don’t get with girls like that if you’re not ready for them. It’s not right to play around with them.”

I couldn’t believe it. My dad, the most tough, dry man I’d ever met, was worried about not me but the girl I brought. He was worried I was messing with her feelings and would hurt her. The respect that moved upon me for him grew in spades. My dad was a good man. I always knew that. I always did.

I smiled, setting my hand on his shoulder. “I’m not messing with her, Pop.”

He looked up at me, bushy eyebrows narrowed. “You’re not?”

I shook my head, lowering my hand. “Not at all. I really like her. In fact, more than like her.”

His brows twitched, and slowly, he lowered his arms. “Well, that’s good. That’s real good, son. I just… I guess I just assumed with the girls I’ve seen you date and that girl you brought over here that irritated your grandmamma…”

I couldn’t help it. I snorted.

“That you weren’t really ready for something serious,” he continued. “You’re going to play professional ball soon, and I assumed you’d be keeping that mindset of being free.”

“Pop, Tanya is very much a thing of the past, and well,” I shrugged and continued on, “people change. Even before I met Roxie I wasn’t feeling that way of living anymore. It was getting old. When she came along I felt different. My head cleared like someone flicked on a light and I’d been in the dark. I didn’t understand why my life was feeling off before. But hell, with what I felt when I was around her, it made sense.”

I was talking in ways I’d never had before, saying all kinds of things, and I was doing it in front of my pop. This wasn’t done. We just didn’t
do
this, talk that is, but
this
, in my gram’s kitchen, felt pretty all right.

“Boys! We’re heading out to tour Momma’s land.”

That was my aunt Robin’s voice. She, Roxie, and my gram must have been done with their raiding of my cousin’s closet. The family always walked Gram’s property to see its progress in the year since the previous reunion. It was also good for that social aspect. That could be my chance to talk to Roxie about some things.

Pop tossed our bottles and then slammed his hand on my shoulder. I could probably count on one hand how many times the man had not just smiled, but
grinned
, and this was one of them directed at me.

He then said one of the most important things he’d ever said to me. “I hope she knows how you feel.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Griffin

The group had already left by the time Pop and I got outside. This didn’t surprise me. We were all pretty lax around here and not everyone left. Pop had just gotten off work not too long ago, so he decided to stay behind and rest his feet. Hayden stayed behind as well with Karen since they had a young one who wouldn’t be able to keep up. I didn’t see Roxie waiting behind for me, but I was quickly informed by Karen that Gram and Aunt Robin dragged her along with the pack, letting her know I’d catch up. I shook my head as I followed after the group of my family ahead. Gram and my aunt really were getting attached to Roxie like Pop said, and I had to admit that felt real good. In the back of my might I thought if I could only hold onto her… I’d try my damnedest. I was a fighter, and if I knew something was worthwhile, I wouldn’t give it up easy. There was something behind Roxie inching away from me. I didn’t know what it was, but I would get to the bottom of it.

I got to the pack, but I still didn’t see her with all the bodies around. My gram was most likely in the front, and she’d probably be with her by what Karen told me. I moved my way through. Not hurried, but definitely goal-oriented. A crack in the group formed, and I saw her through the members of my family. That was when I slowed down, almost losing her, once I got sight of her.

She gazed over her shoulder, seeming to look for something. Her dark hair breezed over her face and she had one of my cousin’s cream-colored cowboy hats on. It matched the collared button up shirt they gave her, but the long expanse of her legs didn’t let me focus on that for long. She had a pair of my cousin’s jean cut offs on, the bright sun making her smooth legs shine. To top the image of her off, she had a set of pretty brown cowboy boots donning her feet.

The whole thing, the whole package of her, had me smiling stupidly to myself. I wondered if we all had one of those moments where you saw something so beautiful you couldn’t help but reflect how you felt about it on your face. Meanwhile, the rest of the world was in the dark, unaware of the wonderful secret.

She saw me, and I knew she was looking for me, too. She didn’t smile, but she couldn’t stop what she did with her eyes. They opened up, let the light in, and brightened, making her whole face smile without the expression. That let me know there was something there and how she felt about this thing we had. This awesome, whirlwind thing. I could only hope she was ready because now that I knew I wasn’t going to give up easy.

She fell back from the group a bit and let me catch up to her. When I did, she gazed up at me from under her big hat, looking too cute for words to describe. The light of the sun made her eyes a kaleidoscope of green shades, the overall image creating a soft jade tone.

I forced myself to speak to the girl I always found was so pretty. I gestured to her. “Look at you.”

She placed her hands on her hips, popping her boot out like she was in the first step of a square dance. “Not too much?” she asked, looking genuinely worried.

Since her outfit was causing my mind to do nothing but circulate images of dragging her off to a vacant field and being anything but a Southern gentlemen with her, I could say she had no need to worry. “You look real pretty, Roxie. Real nice. Not too much at all.”

Her mouth was looking so kissable when she smiled that I nearly gave in to my minds mental images of taking her away.

“Roxie! Griffin, you comin’?” My gram had her hands on her hips, tapping her boot at the head of the group.

I knew better than to make my gram wait, so I guided Roxie, holding back my urges for now.

Gram had us walking like crazy in the afternoon sun. She was quite used to it. Walking her property regularly kept her young and active. Our various hats helped with the heat, but the group was really feeling the fatigue of the walk, so we all took a break after we were a ways away from the main house. It couldn’t even be seen out by the field we stopped at. Some of gram’s hired hands were tending to some cattle behind a fence, so we all used that as an opportunity to break.

Roxie and I had kept pretty quiet during the walk. In part because we were listening to gram talk, another part because constantly gabbing made you tired in the sun. Plus, I think we were both unsure of what to say. This trip had been laced with quietness, awkwardness. The presence of which I still didn’t understand.

She walked up to the wooden fence. Laying her arms on it, she rested her chin on the back of her hands.

I shoved my hands into my pockets, lounging my back against the fence.

“How’s your dad?” she asked, surprising me with the question. She didn’t look at me, staring ahead at the moving cattle. “I heard him call you to talk before… before I went inside.”

A smile creased my face as I gazed ahead, remembering that talk. “He’s good. Seems he’s taken a liking to you. He said you’re a nice girl.”

Her hair whipped over her shoulder, and she blinked. “He did? He said that?”

I tilted my head. Why did she look so shocked by that? “Yeah. Why?”

She shrugged, gazing back out. “He just didn’t… I don’t know. He seemed bothered by me or something earlier.”

I laughed. My pop was very dry. That I knew. “Pop can definitely be hard to read, but I guarantee he likes you. Seems like you won over all my family. Especially my gram and Aunt Robin.”

For some reason, her face fell when I said that. It was like she wasn’t happy that they liked her, but that wouldn’t make sense. Maybe I was just reading her wrong. “So what did you girls talk about upstairs?”

“Not much,” she said, picking at the sanded down pole in front of her. “Your, um, your grandma mentioned your mom. What happened… I didn’t ask about it, she just…”

“It’s okay,” I said, cocking my head to find her eyes. When she looked up, I smiled at her. “I don’t really remember her. She left before Colt and I even entered elementary school. None of us were ever really told why, but Hayden and Brody have stories about the arguments they’d heard between our parents. Having so many of us was a struggle for my dad, especially making sure we were all fed, clothed, and stuff. Things got hard and my mom bolted. My gram and Grandpop, her parents, helped after she left. They actually helped
a lot,
and my dad hated it. They were barely making their mortgage as it was with keeping this ranch running.”

I lifted my hand out to the ranch and her eyes followed. Shrugging, I leaned off the fence. “So my dad took us while he chased work for years. I don’t know how many schools I’ve been to. Eventually a job looked promising and he brought us back here. He lives about an hour away with Colt. The same trailer all of us lived in. It wasn’t much, but for all of us it was fine. Home. He’s still in that same construction job. Hayden and Brody work with him now.”

I finished my story, and her eyes blinked away, her hair swaying in the wind when she nodded. Through what I told her, I’d hoped she wouldn’t be sad for me. My pop, brothers, and I really were okay and every day only got brighter. My brothers and their jobs. My and Colton’s good fortune playing ball. Despite that, her face twitched in remorse, an evident sadness. She really did care about me, and I more than felt the same way about her.

I lost her gaze completely when she stared ahead at the cattle, watching the ranch hands roping them, doing their jobs.

I moved closer to her down the bar, and the air between us went warm, hot, and laced with a clear awareness we had for each other. I didn’t get too close with how things had been between us, but I wanted her to know I was there. That I was there for her and cared about her just as she did for me.

I stopped a few inches from her, and she swayed to me, her shoulders working like she was feeling for me.

I leaned toward her ear. “I’m sorry about your mom, Roxie. I know we had different situations, but… I’m just so sorry.”

Her head lifted and she gave me a smile that was meant for anything but happiness. In fact, the expression was the saddest smile I’d ever seen.

“People say that so much. That they’re sorry,” she said, lowering her head. Her eyes shifted away again. “I always appreciate it. I genuinely do. Thank them with a smile.”