Four Times Blessed (30 page)

             
“See? Mine’s this color. And Milo’s is light green.”

             
“It’s really pretty,” Lium tells me in that voice that makes me want to taste what he’s saying again. Or would, if I didn’t feel so seasick.

             
Seasick is grey, and hollow black smoke, if you’re wondering. 

             
I sleep easy, for some reason. The only time I wake is when I notice I’m sweating in the stifling cabin, the sweatshirt and radiating boy on me making it even worse.

             
But it’s too hard to get the right limb out of the right hole with my eyes closed. I feel a tug on one sleeve, so I turn and it’s gone. It’s blissful, and I sigh. I lay down, and go back to sleep.

              The next morning, the boy’s tell me I can stay if I like.

             
“Mmmm,” I’m very groggy, “People will be looking for me,” I feel apologetic. Thinking hard, I say, “Hopefully, last night Andrew covered for me, probably said he dropped me off at Cassie’s, or something. But if I don’t come back this morning…” I don’t finish but before I know it, Lium’s taking my hand and setting me on the strangely unmoving dock.

             
It’s late in the morning, so all the boats are out and there’s nobody around. Hale takes off. And there’s nobody on the path to the meetinghouse, already having come and gone to the fish market. I find the lack of people in such a familiar place a balmy treat, and plus I don’t have to stop holding hands with Lium.

             
We walk in an easy quiet the whole way. When we reach the green, I see Andrew jogging across it.

             
“Hey,” he flags us down.

             
“Hi, Andrew,” I say, when he stops in front of us.

             
“Crusa. Good timing. Your aunt was just starting to wonder where you were.” He looks relieved. He’s out of place here, when I’m not around, I think.

             
“I told her you were at your cousin’s, and she asked if it was Cassie, and I said yes. Cassie is one of your cousins, right?”

             
“Yes, thank you.”

             
“I figured all you island people are basically cousins anyway, so it wasn’t that big of a chance that she was trying to sniff out a lie. But I wouldn’t put it past that woman.”

             
“That was smart, thank you.” Although the islander comment was a little much, the reasoning was sound, I have to admit.

             
“No problem,” he waves away my thanks and takes my arm. I go to start around the green with him, but I can’t. Lium is still holding on to my opposite hand, and he’s not walking.

             
He can let go now. I look up at him, but he’s not paying attention. Neither is Andrew.

             
“So, I heard it was a disciplinary thing yesterday. People were talking about your cohort at the c-b station. It’s a big one, huh? There are some really interesting ones out there. I think it’s going to be my next series. You and I are connected, so I can’t interview you for it. I mentioned to them how you were upset when I picked you up, though.”

             
“What? I wish you hadn’t done that,” I pull back. For a moment, he’s stunned. Then he’s busy not looking me in the face. I think he’s ashamed of my outburst. I suddenly feel like I’m standing here all alone.

             
“I didn’t say anything bad, I was just said you were messed up. After being in a focus room, it would be weird not to be. They give you any more of that stabilization solution for today?” The drugs. I picture myself laid out on the floor of the shower rooms. When they said it was a new formula that would last seventy-two hours. My shoulders hunch.

             
“No,” I say.

             
“I guess it hadn’t kicked in yet when I picked you up.”

             
“Guess not.” I’m tired of talking.

             
“So, how long was it?”

             
I shrug.

             
“What’d you do?”

             
“Mmm,” I examine the grass.

             
“Hey, back off.” I start, just like Andrew. Because neither of us said that. We both turn to Lium.

             
“She’s my fiancé, I have a right to know,” Andrew says to him.

             
Lium growls, “You’re not married yet,” straining to keep himself together. I’m taken aback, as he’s been so calm up until now. 

             
But Andrew isn’t intimidated. He tells Lium, “I appreciate what you do for her, my friend. But the report said it was four hours. Do you have any idea what that means? I don’t think you do. But I do, and it being the girl who will be my wife, it pains me. It’s not normal. I don’t understand why they used it like that on her.” His words are unexpected. I wonder if he is on my side. Even against reason, like true family. I don’t know what to make of it.

             
He puts a hand on my cheek, “Promise me you’ll be more careful, babe. You’re one of the smartest girls I know. You could avoid it, if you really wanted to.”

             
What? Oh.

             
“Apparently I can’t, Andrew,” I hiss. I find myself furious at him.

             
He lifts my arm, “Any bruises?”

             
“Just shut the fuck up.”

             
“Mhf,” I say as Lium squashes me. I don’t like the next step he takes towards Andrew. Neither does Andrew, who goes steely. Sometimes I forget he was military trained.

             
Lium has an arm full of me, though, and he seems to realize this a few seconds later. He’s conflicted about it, as far as I can tell.

             
“Lium.”

             
We’re at the far edge of the green. I’m dying to go to the house and rest. I feel like the earth is pulling me to it. It really wants me to lie down. And I’d love to do what it says. I swear it’s just as hopelessly annoyed at these two boys as I am.

             
“Tell him to go over there, Crusa.”

             
“It’s ok, Lium.”

             
“Tell him to go over there or I’ll kill him.”

             
At that, the earth tells me she’ll talk with me later, and I nod for her to go. With Lium trembling around me, I say calmly, “Andrew, would you please go over there? It would help everyone.”

He leans close, too close to Lium, so I don’t know how I feel when he ends up by my ear. I become conscious that my hair is a thick, knotted mess, black and metallic smelling. I remember Lium smoothing it down last night. Andrew lingers, though, so it can’t be so bad. It shocks me how much boys can ignore.
 

             
“Go easy on him, will you, love?” He kisses my jaw, soft and lingering, calming except for the way it makes the fingers clench against my stomach. It’s good that’s all they do. I pat them. Andrew backs away, saying, “You’d better go into the house by yourself so it’s not suspicious.”

             
“Right.”

             
Light dust trails his footfalls. I sigh. Then I pick my mangled hand out of Lium’s.

             
“Ouch, Lium, you’re hurting me.”

             
“Huh? Oh, sorry.”

             
I massage my joints. “It’s ok. So, I’ll see you around then?”

             
He’s off in his own world, though. Normally, I’d find this adorable. Right now, it’s exasperating.

             
“I knew somebody’d hurt you.”

             
“They didn’t.”

             
“You’re lying to me.” Not technically. I keep massaging.

             
“No.”

             
“You only had one bruise. On your knee.” He says it like an observation. I’m wearing pants, though.

             
“It was too dark…”

             
“I checked. On the boat. While you were sleeping. You were out. I had to make sure you were ok.”

             
I consider him, picturing it. I suppose it was necessary. Though I can’t believe I didn’t wake up.

             
“Whatever, Lium. Then you obviously know I’m not hurt.”

             
“You’re still lying.”

             
“No I’m not.”

             
“Yes, you are.”

             
“You’re being obnoxious.”

             
“That’s true, but that’s not what we’re talking about right now. Keep up, little Crus.”

             
“I’m going in to wash up. When I come out, do you want to play golf?”

             
“No.”

             
“I’ll play with you,” I sing.

             
He hesitates, “All day?”

             
“Fine,” I quirk an eyebrow at him. “So do you want to play or not?”

             
He comes very close, “I do. Only just you and me.”

             
“Fine.”

             
“I like you,” his throat becomes scratchy, “I wish I could have you all to myself.” I watch as the hope and disappointment circle each other around his face. “I’d be good to you.”

             
It takes me a moment to respond. He’s not in any hurry, though, so it’s ok.

             
“I know you would. You already are.” I swallow, give him a sad smile. Ease him down to kiss his forehead, and promise I’ll be right back.

             
We have a good day. The exercise is bracing.

              I step into the airfield, knowing Lium’s somewhere back in the trees. Some seagulls squawk out of the grass.

             
I gasp.

             
“The chickens!” I slap my forehead, drop my bookbag, turn and sprint. I pass Lium at the glacier rock.

             
“I’ll be right back!”

             
Hearing the base’s bells toll quarter-of, I streak into the backyard.

             
“Oh, my babies, I’m so sorry!” I tell the chickens.

             
They cluck madly inside the coop. I slip through the light cage door and they flock to my feet. I scoop up some feed and douse them with it, which they don’t really seem to mind.

             
“There you go, all happy and fed. Good chickens. Hi Alberta. Cleo. Maxine. How you girls doing today? Sorry I forgot you.” I dust my hands off on my skirt. Then, realizing what I’ve just done, I dust off my skirt as well. 

             
I really need to start carrying around one of those sticky roller things or something.

             
“So. Talking to chickens. I’d say I didn’t cut you out from that buoy fast enough, only I’m beginning to suspect this was always normal for you.” I turn, unsurprised.

             
“I was just apologizing.”

             
“To chickens.”

             
“Yes.”

             
“How come?”

             
I sigh. “When I was running around this morning, I forgot to feed them. They must have been hungry and wondering for hours, poor babies.”