Four Times Blessed (8 page)

             
I see the cabbage on the table and think back to my infernal froggy friends. Because crucifer…cruciferous…hah. Those poor little things are so unfortunately named. I feel bad for them. I imagine a tiny little amphibious fallen angel with a broccoli for a head hopping around the meetinghall. I smile to myself and gaze around the crowded room.

That is, until I notice some man by the wall with his eyes on me. I can’t figure out which of Angie’s sons is his father. Thinking hard, I stare for a while. Then he smirks and my brain registers that he’s been actively observing my dimwitted efforts. I look down and ride out the blush.

No wonder people find me creepy. At least that’s what Eleni tells me. Oh, well, that guy’ll get over it. I turn back to Andrew to give him a reason to list me as attentive.

              “Oh, wonderful. Here come Angie’s terrors,” says my zizi. I give her a sympathetic pressing together of the lips and smooth my fingers over her dry hand. Led by Camillo, a handful of boys comes inside. Oh. If those are Angie’s, then the other one I didn’t know…I wonder if he could be Larissa’s gossip.

             
I think I didn’t need to make such a fuss over defending them from my aunt.

My zizi grumbles.

              “What was that?” asks my Auntie Alicia. The second oldest sister of my Aunt Larissa.

             
Loud enough to be heard over the crowd, my zizi puts on a smile that makes me slightly nervous and announces to all, “I said, here come my sister’s children!”

             
All heads turn to the doors, and the heads of the people that are just coming in turn to meet them. There’s less of the later group, though, so they do a lot more turning. Bernoulli principle, or something like it. My zizi bustles over to them.

             
“Hello, dears, we’re all so excited you could drop by, even if it is so late. The food is out, please help yourselves. I wish you’d come earlier so you could’ve had it hot but oh well. Here, I’ll reheat some of the meat for you. Come with me.”

After stepping up to each of them to receive their kisses, she spins without delay. They trail her to the back, which I think shows good sense. It makes me think they haven’t come for trouble.

I look around to see what everyone else thinks. Most still watch them, their straight spines and hunched shoulders, the quick steps out of my zizi’s way. Again, good sense. As for my family, stares are muted, faces are impassive, and there are some well-monitored shifts of position that can’t really be called fidgeting for to the amount of planning and intention I’m positive are going into them.

The din builds again. Down our table, I notice my brother’s just taken a seat. I smile, so surprised to see him. He must have brought those guys here because he wanted to come see us. I clutch the sides of my chair to keep from bouncing.

My brother smiles and his eyes widen at me. I shrug one eyebrow, then take a prim sip of my water. He lifts his cup, raises both his eyebrows to the boy next to me, because he can’t do one at a time no matter how hard he tries, then sips as well.

Meanwhile, my Auntie Alicia swings her gaze over everyone at our table. Andrew doesn’t know that he should really be studying his bit of cheese right now, or perhaps examining the tablecloth like I am, so he’s the one that ends up being caught. I place my hand on his.

“Well. Isn’t that something.”

“Ah, I, uh, don’t understand. Are they relations of yours?”

“Oh, you could say that. They’re Zizi’s youngest sister’s kids. I can’t believe they showed up here. And so late, too. Thinking they can just pop over whenever. Their parents should have told them it was too late, but what can you expect. Their manners are different. Crusa, honey, I’m sure they’ll all be on their best behavior, and if not, someone will take care of it, so don’t you worry, sweetheart.”

“I’m not worried. I think they’re friends of Camillo’s,” I say.

“Yes, well,” I get one nod, one set of pressed lips, and a few brushes of her fingers on her lap. Next to her, my Uncle Stonington takes a bite of antipast. That was a hot pepper. I watch as he tears up and steals my Aunt Alicia’s cup of wine.

“They’re probably just curious, is all,” she says.

“It was generous of them to stop by. Pay their respects. I’m sure they brought a gift,” says a great uncle of mine as he shuffles behind us. I make a face like really? And he pats me on the cheek. I shrug at Andrew.

“I suppose,” says my Aunt Alicia. 

I go to share a look with Milo, but I stop. My brother’s turned a deep red and is sitting very stiffly. Huh. What’s his problem. I check to see if Andrew’s done something to offend him, brotherly speaking, but the boy’s just sitting there. Doing a pretty decent job of not looking as baffled as he is.

“Of course,” my aunt goes on, “after all that’s happened lately, I thought none of them would want to come by. But, I guess not.” She shrugs and smiles.

“I would have thought the same, Alicia, if Angie’s son had come, but it’s just the young ones. None of them have been directly involved,” says my Aunt Carolina from down the table.

“No, that’s not true,” says my Uncle Stonington. “Just yesterday I heard that one of those boys that just walked in helped Angie’s son’s son drag the cow almost half-way across the island.”

“It’s true. All it was doing was grazing over by the beach.”

“Yeah, one of them had seen him from the water that morning, and Angie couldn’t stand the thought of him being on our side with my cousin’s cow. That’s why she sent a bunch of her grandsons over to get him. I felt sorry for it. He mooed and cried the whole way back. Caused quite a scene on the green. How did you miss it? I saw it all from right over there,” he nods.

The ladies also nod, variously at him or at their drinks. The poor boy next to me is now sitting in soldier mode. I start wondering how I’m going to get him out of here.

Then he goes and leans forward. I don’t breathe. My family turns and gives Andrew the polite attention due to a guest. He says, “I’m afraid I don’t follow, having just come here. Something about cows?”

Diplomatic. Another one for the father.

“Oh,” “Ah,” “Yes, of course,” my aunts and uncles all sit back. At this point I have two choices. I can either die of embarrassment, or just wait until it’s over. Because there’s no stopping my family when they have something they want to share. Especially when it’s news as good as this. 

“Well, you see, dear,” says my Aunt Alicia, sitting up straight and glancing about for unintended ears.

“You wouldn’t know, because you’ve only just gotten here, but Angie’s grandson’s been stuck on this bull of his for months now. If you see him, you’ll know why. He’s a very nice bull. Strong. We call him Philbert.”

Everyone adds their own compliments to Philbert. Even I have to. He is very handsome, as far as bulls go.

“But the grandson insists that Philbert is his and his alone. He won’t even let him breed with any of our cows, even though that makes no sense. It’s silly not to. If you let him breed, then we can get more like him. I mean, it’s not like the thing will run out of juice.” I cover my eyes, which are already closed. It’s not enough. Because oh, this is wonderful. Let’s have a conversation about sperm. That’s got to be the best first date topic ever. I feel awful for Andrew.

And myself. I stand and try to take Andrew away. He holds my hand, and pats it.

I honestly don’t know if I’m more impressed or astonished that this boy isn’t already out the door. Or that he…actually looks like he’s listening. I feel like I’m distracting him with all my cringing and pulling. I try to stand still. Let my hand just rest on his shoulder. It’s a nice shoulder.

“But you see, what happened the other day is Angie’s grandson found the bull missing, and for some reason he came over to my sister’s house and pounded on the door. Pounded on it, can you believe it?

“Then he accused her of stealing his bull, and of course she said she did no such thing, but he’s very unreasonable. That’s when he tried to drag the beast back to his own house. Right through my herb garden.” She shakes her head.

“So, anyways, dear, that’s why we’re all just so surprised they had the nerve to show up here tonight.”

Yup, that about covers it. Welcome to the islands, Andrew.

My husband-to-be does well in chuckling along with the others. I, however, think that’s enough for now. I’ll keep working on exposing him to my family’s weirdness a little at a time. Systematic desensitization, they’d call it at the academy. Works wonders on a person.

“Don’t worry, Andrew. It’s not such a big deal. We’ve just got to do something to keep life here interesting,” I tell him, tugging again. I know they want to keep talking to him, and it’s good they’re all getting along, I guess, but I’d rather he didn’t hear the story about how Groton’s boat ended up covered in cheese quite yet.

“Come on, let me introduce you to Cassie. Cassandra,” I say.

Thank the Merciful Virgin Mother, the boy gets up and follows me from the table.

              We weave our way across the room that’s being lit by whispers of flames. I hold Andrew’s hand lightly. I’ve never gone around holding a boy’s hand like this before, but I think it’s right for us. His eyes are robin’s egg blue, I notice when I go to say something. My breath stops, so I guess that’s why my blood rushes forward, compensating.

He’s waiting for me to talk. I giggle, sounding only slightly bizarre, “Don’t worry about remembering everybody’s names. Nobody can get them right. Just this week I got called Camilla, Cassia, Carolina, Cutie, Cumin, Charlie, which I don’t get where that one came from, and Hey.”

              “I didn’t know there’d be so many of you.”

             
“I know it’s a lot,” I say by way of apology.

             
He pulls the hand that’s in mine down by his leg, and I stumble back.

             
“Let’s just assume right now that I won’t remember any of them tonight, what do you say?”

             
“Uh, ok.”

             
“Good. So then you can just go on and whisper each one to me when it becomes necessary.”

             
“Sure.” Weird, but sure.

             
He grins, and I manage to smile back.

             
We find Cassie and she’s rather shy when I introduce my future husband. There are too many people here for her tonight, I think.

I start talking to her in a sweet voice, but her face stays down. I don’t know what to do. I catch Milo watching from across the room, and blink down at Cassie. He nods and starts making his way over. He comes and shakes Andrew’s hand and they mumble hellos at each other, then Milo claps Andrew on the shoulder far too hard and tells me to go off and have fun with my new boyfriend.

I roll my eyes and drag the boy after me, this time with a firmer grip. I introduce him to a bunch of my boy cousins who ask us to go out front and play some kind of net game they just made up, while I try not to imagine kicking my brother in the shins.

I decline to play their game, but tell Andrew to go on ahead and I’ll come and watch them in a minute. I just need to let my zizi know we’ll be outside. 

              Which is a lie. Instead, I slide through the reverberating hall, go straight out the back door, and sit on the little porch. I stretch out my limbs. They’re stiff from my being so nervous all day.

             
It’s a clear night, but the hemisphere’s summer attitude makes the stars look like they’re underwater. I like it. I also like it in the winter when they’re all tight and crisp. But tonight is a night my mother would’ve loved to sit out here with me on her lap and ask me aren’t they beautiful? Then we’d have to go look out over the front porch, towards the ocean. We’d see the full moon just risen, in close to the earth, a mother’s breast as she bends down to kiss you goodnight. I can’t do that now, though, with everyone here.