Fragile (8 page)

“No, it’s not my father and no one is sick.” I said finally as I sat back in my chair and looked over at him.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Wanna get a beer?” I asked instead of answering his question.

“Hell yes. There is nothing like a beer to cure whatever the hell is going on with you.” Kye jumped up from the chair and waited for me to turn my computer off. When I woke this morning I knew something was different in the apartment. Everything had changed between me and Lucy and I didn’t know how to make us ok again. I wanted more and she didn’t. Beer with Kye helped me get my mind off of how badly things had gone in practically no time at all. I didn’t regret kissing her, not one bit. But I did regret that she didn’t want me to kiss her.

When I made it home later that night the apartment was empty. I could tell before I even got out of the taxi. The place felt dark and cold. I waited for her to come home, I stayed awake for as long as I could but she never showed. The next day when I woke up there was no sign that she had come home while I was passed out. She had left me. Feeling pathetic and sorry for myself I crawled into her bed and inhaled her scent. I missed her so much.

“Bro!”

I grumbled a sentence of curse words when I heard Kye’s voice echoing through the apartment. “Rick?” He called out again as my phone started to ring. It wasn’t Lu’s ring tone so I let it ring out. Kye opened the door to Lu’s room and just stared at me lying in her bed. This was where I slept now. It smelled of her, reminded me of her and I missed her.

“Hey, bro,” He entered the room, taking in the scene before him. “How’s it going?” He reached the bed, hands on his hips, nodding along to nothing what so ever.

“What do you want?” I grumbled.

His eyes widened and he waved his hand under his nose. “Well, first you need to clean your teeth. What died in there? Second, you haven’t been to work in two days and I’ve been worried. So get up, get clean and let’s go.”

“Piss off.” I grumbled as I rolled over and put my back to him.

“I don’t want to but I am this close to calling your Dad.” His threat meant nothing to me, so I stayed silent. “You leave me no choice.” He sighed.

“Mark, its Kye. Yeah, it’s Rick. He’s hauled himself up in bed. He looks like shit, and smells much the same. I don’t know. He was off yesterday, I didn’t think much of it but something is up with him.”

“Lucy? No, I didn’t see any girl here. Ok then…Well, Rick, your father is on his way. I’ll be downstairs.”

It didn’t take long for my Dad to get there, “He hasn’t moved.” I heard Kye tell him. “This isn’t even his room.”

“No, it’s Lucy’s,” I heard Dad say.

“Who’s Lucy?”

“She was staying here, but I guess she isn’t anymore.”

“You mean that girl from the other morning? Dude you got attached didn’t you? How many times do I have to tell you? No strings, man. Damn it, you’re like the most attachable guy I know. Scratch that. You’re more girl than guy. Just look at you. Mark, you gave your boy too much oestrogen. He sets his heart on the line too much, and this is the end result. Do you remember Margaret? He was holed up for weeks, months really and there was...”

“He hasn’t been to work?” Dad cut Kye’s rant off mid-sentence.

“Nope, I was getting worried. He wasn’t answering any calls, nothing.”

“I’m right here,” I grumbled, sick of them talking about me like I wasn’t there.

“Oh, he talks.”

“There’s no need for sarcasm.”

“What happened, Rick?” I didn’t want to talk about it, so I held my tongue. “Kye, can you feed Aiden.”

“Sure thing, come on Aiden.” The dog poked his head up from its position on the bed and jumped.

“What happened?” Dad asked quietly.

“She left.”

“Why?”

I rolled over and looked at him. “She doesn’t want me.” I saw pity in his eyes, so I rolled back over and buried my face in her pillow. Yeah, I was pathetic.

LUCY

The next morning Dr. Hunter found me early with a cup of coffee. Madeline was prepped and all that was missing was me. Her operation took most of the day, and I stayed at the hospital to monitor her for the next twenty-four hours.

I waited for darkness to come before I went back to Rick’s. I had left some things there in my rush to get out of his apartment and needed them and I didn’t want to risk running into him. I planned on getting in and out while he slept.

When I arrived Aiden welcomed me in the usual fashion. As I walked further into the apartment, I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw Rick standing in the lounge room.

“What’s wrong?” I rushed over to him. He had dark rings under his eyes and looked like he had aged since the last time I saw him.

“Where have you been?”

I frowned at the question. “The hospital.” I hadn’t missed any calls and didn’t have any notifications or anything that could explain his behaviour.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” I asked, confused at his admission.

“This. I can’t pretend that I don’t feel something for you, Lu. I’ve been going out of my mind wondering where you were, who you were with or if you were fine. It’s been killing me trying not to call you. I had to lock my phone up at work so that I wouldn’t. I even drove to the hospital just to see you and thought that I was turning into a stalker. I need you, Lu. All of you.”

I couldn’t help the tears that fell down my cheeks, “I can’t, Rick.”

“Why not?” His voice cracked as he spoke.

“Be...because I can’t.”

Rick looked absolutely devastated as he walked past me. I felt like if I moved I would fall apart. I just stood there with tears running down my face long after the front door shut from behind me.

When I felt it was safe enough to move without falling apart, I ran upstairs and got what I had left behind and went back to the hospital.

“I heard you moved back. What happened?” Dr. Drew asked as he eyed me walking back into the hospital.

“Don’t worry, Chief. It’s temporary. I’ll be out of your hair in no time at all.”

“That’s what you said last time, and you were living in the hospital for a month.”

I gave him my best ‘seriously’ look, and he cracked a smile.

“This time, a week tops, I promise.” He waved me away, and I left to go to sleep.

Living at the hospital again had its perks. I was close when I was needed. There was no running late or fighting the traffic. I did miss Aiden and Rick, even though I tried hard not to. I had never wanted to get a case of amnesia more in my life than in that moment. I hurt and I had hurt someone I cared about. To my surprise, I hurt more over losing Rick than I had losing Luke. I checked my phone constantly like a love sick puppy, knowing that it was fruitless. I knew that I would never see or speak to him again. He didn’t know it, but I did him a favour hurting him like I did now. Better now than opposed to doing it later after starting a relationship.

“House hunting?” I was startled by a voice, jumping when I heard it. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Dr. Hunter sat down next to me.

“It’s alright. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Things didn’t work out with that guy then?”

“We weren’t together. He was a friend of the family.”

“You guys have a fight then?” He reached for my tablet and started to flip through the pages I had up.

“Something like that. It’s just time that I move on.”

“This one looks nice.” He slid the tablet back over to me. The house displayed on the screen had potential.

“Is it in a good neighbourhood?” I asked as I read about the property. I still wasn’t too sure about where the good and the not good neighbourhoods were in this city.

“Yeah, it is. You should make an appointment to view it.” He tapped the phone number to make it bigger and handed over his phone.

LUCY

I was sitting outside the hospital with a cup of coffee when I heard a familiar bark. I turned and saw Aiden running towards me. “Hey boy. What are you doing here? You didn’t run away, did you?”

“No, I brought him here.” Mark stood over me and Aiden.

“Hi,” I stood up and brushed the loose dog hair off my scrubs.

“Hey.” He reached out for me and I hugged him. Pulling back, I saw sadness in his eyes.

“Is Rick alright?”

He offered a sad smile. “Not really, but if you ask him, he’ll tell you that he’s fine. I thought that I’d bring Aiden to see you. He misses you. Rick says that he can’t get him out of your room. He isn’t eating and he cries.”

“Why are you here, Mark?”

He took a deep breath before he spoke, “Rick needs you. He’s a mess, Lucy. He’s not sleeping and hasn’t been to work in days. I’m getting worried. This isn’t like him.”

“I can’t, Mark. I know you guys don’t understand, but it’s just easier this way. Give it time. Time’s a great healer.”

“Don’t give me that crap, Lucy. Time’s a great healer,” he mocked. “You sound like a doctor. Rick doesn’t need a doctor. He needs you.”

“I am a doctor, Mark. I can’t just stop being a doctor when someone needs me. It’s who I am.”

“You’re Lu, that’s all he needs right now.”

There was no denying that I missed him, and hearing that he was having a tough time pulled on my heart strings. I just didn’t know what to do. Mark left with Aiden but not before he handed over the key that I had left behind when I left the apartment. I held it close to my chest before putting it into my breast pocket feeling like it was all I had left of Rick.

I walked through the front door and Aiden came barrelling down the hallway. We said our hello’s before we headed upstairs. Pushing the bedroom door open, I took in the sight of Rick spread out across the bed, a sheet covering his lower body. He was certainly a sight.

“Go away,” He grumbled as I walked closer to the bed.

“Fine,” I said. “I’ll go and see the house I have lined up today with Dr. Douche bag instead.” I turned to leave, but Rick grabbed my hand, stopping me. “What are you doing still lying down? I have to be there in half an hour. Chop chop.” I pulled on his arm, but he didn’t budge. I pulled again but this time Rick pulled me down and rolled until I lay underneath him. When Rick was satisfied that I wasn’t going anywhere, he started talking.

“Why are you here?”

“I told you, I have a house viewing in half an hour. You know the city better than me, so I decided you’re the better one to bring along.” He just stared at me without speaking. “We have to go.” I pushed on his shoulders until he sat back on his heels and I climbed out from under him. Standing up and turning around, I held out my hand to help him off the bed, but he just stared at it.

“Why are you here?” He asked again.

“I told you, I have a house viewing shortly and want to bring you.”

“Does this mean you’ve changed your mind about us? About there being an us?”

I shook my head, “No, Rick, I haven’t.”

“So, you’re using me then.”

“No, I am not using you.”

“So, you’re here to get me to take you to see some house, not because you want me to see it?”

“Damn it, Rick! You’re my only friend here. Is it so wrong that I want your opinion on where I live?” I turned and stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me.

Once at the hospital it didn’t take long to become immersed in work. I was with another patient as I felt my side vibrate. “Damn it,” I muttered as I looked down at my pager. “I’m needed in the ER, so we’ll take this up later. In the meantime, keep thinking of ways that we can reach that tumour. Think outside the box,” I instructed my two interns, Dr. Brooks and Dr. Mills. After getting the confirmation from them that they would I left for the emergency room.

“I got paged,” I said to the nurse who was sitting at the desk.

“Bed four.” He pointed his pen over to the left where the bed was located with the curtain closed.

I walked over and pulled the curtain back and stopped stunned. I didn’t want to see him or speak to him, but here he was in my ER. Deciding to keep it professional, I stepped into the small space and pulled the curtain closed and reached for the chart sitting on the end of the bed.

“I’m Dr. Jackson. They say you’ve been having headaches and dizzy spells?” I looked up at him and saw that he was smiling. “So help you, Rick, if you’re wasting my time right now I will give them a reason to admit you and it won’t be pleasant.”

“You weren’t answering my calls or texts.”

“So, there’s nothing wrong with you then.”

“Lu, please hear me out.”

“I have actual patients who need to see me.” He stood up and came over to me, taking my hand but I pulled it away before he could get a good grip on it.

“I was out of line.”

“Damn straight, you were out of line.” I snapped, crossing my arms across my chest.