Freaks in the City (15 page)

“Are you talking about love?”

He nodded because the “yes” had choked in
his throat.

The too-blue gaze that had been flaying him,
laying him bare, turned inward. “I… I don’t know. I’ve never been
in love before. I’ve never been
capable
of loving anyone
before. How do I know if what I feel for you is what you call
love?”

Tyler stifled groan. Served him right. Now
what was he going to say? Like he was the love guru who was so in
touch with his feelings. Heck, he couldn’t even bring himself to
say he loved her because he was scared shitless she might say it
back without knowing what it really meant. For all he knew she
“loved” him like she had loved her creator. Or in a best friends
kinda way, like she loved his sister. And now he had to explain
this incredibly important, life-changing concept to her.

“Uh, how about you start by telling me what
you
do
feel for me?” And if it was all about needing to
protect him from the big bad world, he’d try his utmost to hide
that she’d ripped out his heart.

“I want to be with you. When you’re not
here, I think about you and worry about you. When I see you, I feel
warm inside—lighter, somehow, like everything is finally right and
the way it’s meant to be. When you touch me, I want more. Whenever
you leave, everything seems duller, less colorful, and something
inside me aches.”

The breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been
holding rushed out in a whoosh. Sure sounded like love to him.
Thank God. “Ditto,” he said.

“Really?” Her face lit up like she’d just
won a prize.

“Damn straight. Come here.” He opened his
arms in invitation.

A blink and she was across the room and in
his embrace.“And how do you feel about me?” she asked, her face
turned upward—another kind of invitation if he wasn’t mistaken. And
he didn’t think he was. Not this time. Not now.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He pressed his lips to
hers, gently, then not so gently at all, demanding everything she
had to give.

When he pulled away they were both
breathless. He loved that despite all her superhuman enhancements,
he could do that to her—kiss her breathless.

Jay recovered first. “Does this mean you
want to have intercourse with me?”

Tyler spluttered with laughter edged with a
longing that was so great it bordered on helpless despair. “God,
Jay. I’m a guy. And you’re gorgeous. I wanted to get busy with you
from the moment I first saw you.”

A smile curved her lips and he wanted so
much to kiss her again that he ached. Her smile deepened. She slid
from his arms but only to take him by the hand and tug him from his
perch on the arm of the couch.

He let her lead him from the room, but
instead of heading back toward the kitchen as he’d expected, she
started up the stairs.

“Where’re we going?” he whispered, keeping
his voice low so Nessa wouldn’t overhear.

“To bed.”

His heart skipped a beat and the room spun.
Oh. My. Freaking. God. He wanted this. He’d wanted this for so
long. But…. Shit. He couldn’t go through with it. Not now. Not like
this. He eased his hand from her grip and she let him go.

Confusion crinkled her brows and glittered
in her eyes. “What’s wrong, Tyler? Your body’s responses tell me
you’re ready to have intercourse.”

He snorted. “I’m only human. I’m ready all
right, but I don’t think
you
are.”

“I have extensively researched human
sexuality and I am fully aware of what’s involved. Further, if you
have concerns at my readiness, I am capable of manipulating my body
functions to ensure my—” She frowned. “Perhaps it would be best if
I did not explain my capabilities in this instance.”

He bit his lip so he didn’t smile. “Yeah.
Awesome as it is to know you can get yourself all fired up without
any help from me, we guys kinda prefer to think we’re the ones
responsible for girls ‘getting ready’. If you know what I
mean.”

“Then before I provide you with any further
amusement, perhaps you would care to explain what you meant by your
previous statement about ‘readiness’.”

Was it his imagination or did she sound just
the slightest bit snippy? God, she was cute when she was POed about
not fully understanding some human idiosyncrasy or other. “I mean
you’re still treating this like some lab experiment—you’re
analyzing everything. When you’re too caught up in the moment to be
analytical about it,
then
you’ll be ready.”

“But if I’m too caught up in the moment to
analyze it, how will I recognize my readiness? How will I know I’m…
ready?”

“Believe me, you’ll know. C’mon. I need to
finish my dinner. Wouldn’t want that steak to go to waste.”

She trailed him back into the kitchen.
Where, to Tyler’s complete astonishment, Nessa was washing up the
pans. Without being asked, bribed or coerced. Surreal.

Just like it was totally surreal that he’d
turned Jay down. Pete would slap him upside the head and call him
all kinds of an idiot—Chandler, too. But Tyler knew he was doing
the right thing. He needed to go slow. If he rushed it, if he gave
in and let her give him what she thought he wanted, when she
thought he wanted it, without truly being cognizant of her own
needs, he would never forgive himself.

Good things took time. And Jay was a good
thing—real good. She was worth waiting for.

~~~

Tyler tossed the overnight bags into the back
seat of the fancy SUV Jay had retrieved from the parking garage,
and slammed the door. He leaned against the side of the vehicle,
scuffing one of his sneakers across the sidewalk as he waited for
Jay to finish her conversation with Nessa. A week ago, if anyone
had told him that his ex would show up on Jay’s doorstep, she would
be delusional enough to make a pass at him, and she and Jay would
go from active dislike of the bitch-slapping kind to
almost-friends, he’d have laughed himself stupid.

He didn’t trust Nessa, which was why he’d
insisted Jay not mention their new houseguest to Caro when they saw
her. He didn’t want his sister getting involved with Nessa again.
Nessa had this way of charming people into letting her get away
with stuff. And no way was Tyler standing by while Nessa finessed
Caro and dragged her into any more of Nessa’s shit.

Nessa waved as Jay jogged down the
stairs.

Tyler flipped her a half-hearted wave in
return and climbed into the passenger seat. The instant Jay opened
the driver’s side door he said, “Are you sure you’re okay with
leaving her alone in the house?”

Jay waggled her fingers at Nessa and settled
in the driver’s seat. “Feel free to say ‘I told you so’ if she
cleans out the house and vanishes before we get back.”

Tyler leaned his head against the headrest.
“Oh, I will. You can bank on it.”

Jay belted herself in and started the
engine. “Chill, Tyler. It’s not like I can’t afford to replace
everything in the house. I would hope that by now Nessa knows she
can ask for help from me, but if she’s desperate enough to steal
then so be it.”

Tyler waited ’til she’d pulled into the
stream of traffic before continuing to voice his concerns. Sure,
Jay could multi-task like nobody’s business, but that didn’t mean
he was comfortable with her seeming to pay more attention to him
than she did to the road. Truth be told, having her change gears,
speed up or slow down, and once even change lanes while keeping her
gaze fixed on his face, was nerve-wracking in the extreme. Not that
he’d ever let on. Yanno, being a staunch-as dude and all that.

“I hope she doesn’t get too nosey,” he
muttered.

“If she does, she won’t find anything at all
remarkable.”

“You hope.”

“I know.”

“Must be nice to be so damned sure you’re
right all the time.”

She reached over to squeeze his knee.
“There’s no point fretting about what Nessa will or won’t do.
She’ll either show her true colors or surprise us both.”

Tyler snorted. “You know what they say about
leopards and spots.”

“A leopard never changes its spots.”

“Yeah. That. And just so’s we’re clear,
Nessa’s the leopard.”

“I kind of got that but thank you for the
clarification. Would you like to put on some music?”

“Nice try but I don’t distract that
easily.”

Her smile was full of promise and when she
ran her tongue across her lips, he couldn’t tear his gaze away. He
groaned. “Okay, you win. I do distract that easily.”

“I like to win,” she said.

“Gee. I hadn’t noticed that about you.”

He stabbed his finger at the car stereo and
something operatic filled the car. He gave a full-body shudder.
God. Hideous. He quickly selected another station, relieved when it
turned out to be soft-rock fronted by a relatively un-obnoxious DJ.
“So you trust her now, huh?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Relieved to hear it. Because I don’t trust
her, either—and not just because she tried to throw herself at
me.”

“Don’t forget the part where she was
practically naked—”

“I’m trying my best to forget that part,” he
said, meaning it. That little encounter sure wasn’t one of his most
favorite moments. Try embarrassing as all get-out.

“And the part where she kissed you.”

Tyler winced. “Nothing gets past you, does
it?”

Jay tapped her temple with her forefinger.
“Cyborg. Awesome sensory skills, you know.”

He tried to analyze her expression but gave
up. “Are you ever gonna forgive me for that one?”

“Don’t be silly.
She
kissed
you
. There’s nothing to forgive.”

“So you say. Funny, I’m not so inclined to
be forgiving.”

She arched an eyebrow. “Most guys would be
thrilled to itty bitty pieces to have a practically naked girl like
Nessa throw herself at them.”

He folded his arms across his chest and
stared straight ahead. “I’m not most guys.”

“Look, Tyler, she made an error of
judgment.”

“Ya think?”

Jay sighed. “She’s had a rough time. She’s
doing her best.”

He rolled his head to the side to hit her
with his best “you gotta be kidding me” face. “A new wardrobe.
Meals cooked and handed to her on a fricking platter. Real nice
digs while she scours the papers for jobs that are way out of her
league and she hasn’t a hope in hell of getting. Jeez. We should
all be so lucky. How long are you going to let her sponge off you,
Jay?”

Jay expertly maneuvered the SUV into the
next lane. “I’ve been helping her with her résumé, and I assure
you, she has no delusions regarding her qualifications. And in
answer to your question, for as long as it takes.”

“Well, I hope ‘it’ doesn’t take too long,”
Tyler said. “You and I need some alone time.”

“Awww. You say the sweetest things.” She
batted her eyelashes at him.

“You’re developing a real smart mouth. You
know that?”

She puckered up and blew him a kiss.

Tyler grinned, and turned the music down so
it was barely more than a background hum. Combined with the purr of
the SUV’s powerful motor it became white noise—perfect for chilling
out and teasing the song that had been brewing in the back of his
mind for the past couple of days out of hiding.

About half an hour from Snapperton, Jay
punctured his productive creative bubble. “Have you given any more
consideration to moving into my place permanently?” she asked.

Crap. Thought we’d been through this. Why
now? “I know my place is a dump but it’s all I can afford at the
moment.”

“I could buy you an apartment of your
own.”

Tyler swallowed his shock as best he could.
Jeeeezus. This was new. He kept his voice calm and even. “That’s a
very generous offer.”

“But?”

“But, no thanks.” Bad enough she’d paid his
fees at Wasserman without telling him, and outfitted her apartment
with a music room cum art studio for him to use. He had no problem
staying over at Jay’s place, but permanently leeching off his
outrageously wealthy girlfriend like some pampered gigolo wasn’t
his scene. “I want to save enough that I can afford to rent an
apartment on my own. Then you can come stay over at my place for a
change.”

His tone must have betrayed his annoyance
because Jay’s gaze raked his face, searching for clues. Probably
analyzing his reactions so she could use them to her advantage and
convince him of the logic of her argument. But there were some
things that couldn’t be handled with logic. The need to prove
himself and make his own way in the world was one of those
things.

“I want you to have all the time you need to
spend on your music and art,” she said. “I know how important they
are to you, and how frustrated you are that you can’t devote more
time to them. I know you’re exhausted from studying, working on
your projects and portfolios, and working part-time. I also know
you’re considering taking another part-time job at the video store.
Plus, Pete comes home wasted more often than not, and you have to
let him in because he is apparently incapable of remembering where
he put his key. And Chandler snores loud enough to wake the
dead—”

“Enough, Jay. We’ve talked about his. I’m
not ready to move in with you permanently. And you’re not buying me
an apartment.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” He adjusted the seat back and when
that didn’t help un-kink his spine, linked his hands and stretched
them behind his head. He glanced at her, not bothering to hide his
doubt. “Really?”

“No.”

There was a world of frustration in that one
little word. Tyler tried to explain. “I need to know I can make it
on my own. I mean, look at my career choices: music and art. Not
exactly careers known for being solid, stable income-earners. About
the only worse career I could choose moneywise would be to write
books. I have to prove I can support not only myself, but my
family, too.”