“Cool!”
“Won’t be a sec,” Tyler said. “I’m just gonna walk Jay to her door.”
Matt peered at him over the rims of his sunglasses. “Whatever, dude. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Well,” she heard Caro say to Matt. “That sure leaves him a lot of scope.”
“You can scope me, anytime, babe.”
“Oh fergodsakes,” Caro said, and Jay could just imagine her rolling her eyes in mock-disgust.
Tyler reached for Jay’s hand as they walked to the entrance of her building. She felt a little thrill course through her body. What would Caro and Matt think if they saw? And what if Tyler kissed her again?
“See you tomorrow, Jay.” He squeezed her hand. Time seemed to slow. And then, just when the adrenaline-fueled anticipation pricking her body became too much to bear, he kissed her cheek. Heat flowed to that spot, warming her skin, sensitizing it and making her gasp.
Her gaze flew to his, and she saw him smile.
His walk back to the car was more of a saunter, as though he knew Jay’s gaze would be on him. She waved at him as Matt drove off. And she replayed the scene over and over in her mind, examining every possible nuance of tone, of touch, of possible intention.
If this
feeling
was a malfunction, a product of some anomaly she couldn’t yet detect, then she wasn’t at all certain she wanted to fix it.
She could still feel the warmth of Tyler’s hand in hers, a phantom reminder of the boy himself, as she unlocked her door. She was still smiling, remembering, savoring, when she stepped inside.
The stark emptiness of her apartment momentarily overwhelmed her. The emptiness seemed to take on a life of its own, morphing into a shroud which reared up to smother her in its cold, clinical embrace.
Jay stood frozen in her doorway, stricken, wondering at the aching hollowness in her heart. It took her a full minute to identify the feeling. It was a yearning for something an inhuman creature—a machine—could never have.
Tyler and Caro arrived home with Matt in tow, and discovered their mother had gotten off work early. Much to Tyler’s embarrassment, his mom made it abundantly clear she was thrilled to itty bitty pieces he’d brought a friend over.
Matt? A friend? Yeah, right. Not hardly. And Tyler only got her to quit plying Matt with cookies and sodas and pointed questions by dragging his “friend” up to his room.
Caro stuck her head through the doorway. “Watch out for that chair,” she said to Matt. “It bites.” And then, mimicking her mother with a skill that made the hair on Tyler’s nape stand to attention, “I think you’re mature enough to shut your door when you have a friend over, Tyler.”
“Shut up, Caro.” Tyler slammed the door closed and resumed his seat on the end of his bed.
“Your mom’s cool.”
“Yeah. She is. Now cut the crap. What’s with the sudden need to talk to me, Matt?”
Matt scratched his chin. His gaze flit around Tyler’s room, taking in the posters on the walls, the worn carpet, the basic wooden furnishings, and finally resting on the guitar case poking out from under the bed. “I didn’t send Nessa the video clip of you and Shawn fighting, okay? I showed it to her, sure. But she sneaked my phone and forwarded it to hers.”
“Whatever. That all you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Not exactly. Wanted to know the real deal about Homecoming.”
“Yeah. Right. Like you haven’t heard the story a zillion times already.”
And acted like you believed it. And let me hang. And like I’m ever gonna confide in you in a million years.
Matt leaned back in the wobbly desk chair and nearly assed over when it tilted far more than it should have.
Tyler sniggered. “Sorry, dude. Should have warned you ’bout that. It’s on its last legs.”
Matt gave him “yeah, sure” eyes. “Shawn’s full of shit. I’ve never believed his version of what went down.”
“Gee, Matt. I really appreciate your support. Especially since it’s come, like, so many months after Shawn’s ‘shit’ hit the fan.” He knew he’d injected just the right amount of sarcasm into his voice when Matt winced and looked all hang-dog and guilty and sorry as hell.
“S’pose I deserved that.”
“Yeah. You really did.” Tyler heard a muffled noise. He put his finger to his lips, cautioning Matt to silence, and jerked his chin at the door.
Matt’s brows rose.
Your mom?
he mouthed.
Tyler eased off the bed, tiptoed over to his door and yanked it open. As he’d suspected, he surprised the bejesus out of his eavesdropping sister, who squealed and jumped like a scalded cat. He didn’t say anything, simply stood there, glaring at her, until she slunk off down the hallway and disappeared into her room, slamming the door behind her.
“Jeez, she’s a pain,” he groused.
“Naw,” Matt said. “She’s cool. Hey, d’you reckon all the attention means she might have a thing for me?”
His tone was so hopeful and so unlike his usual why-bother-with-a-straight-answer-when-a-smartass-one-will-do, that Tyler’s glib response died unspoken. “Maybe. It’s kinda hard to tell what she’s feeling when she’s still so pissed at Shawn.”
Matt’s shoulders slumped. “Yeah. On the rebound and all that, huh? About Shawn. I figure he and Vanessa lied through their teeth about what went down at Homecoming. I reckon you got a raw deal. It really pissed me off when Shawn got you benched. Coach is a spineless dick. He should have told Shawn to stick it.”
Tyler snorted. “Yeah. And while he was at it, he should have thanked Shawn’s daddy, the
mayor
, for withdrawing his hefty yearly donation. Like that was ever gonna happen.”
Matt sighed. “I just want to set the record straight. That okay?”
“Maybe. Depends on your motives.”
“You don’t trust me?” Matt faked being stabbed through the heart. “Wow. That’s harsh, dude.”
Tyler just stared at him.
“Okay, okay. You got me. I have a motive. I want to take Shawn down. That’s why I took the vid of you two beating each other up—was hoping to use it but it kinda backfired.”
“Ya think?”
“Yeah. Sorry. But the dude needs one big-ass wake-up call, and I’m hoping to be the one to give it to him. You with me?”
Tyler chewed over Matt’s words. Watching Shawn lose his top-jock spot held major appeal. Not even Shawn’s influential father would be able to haul Shawn’s ass out of that particular fire if Tyler went public with what he knew. But the same reason he’d remained silent and taken the rap in the first place still applied. It wasn’t just all about Shawn. There was Vanessa to consider, too. Shawn knew that. He’d relied on Tyler’s instinct to protect Vanessa—leveraged it and used it to take down a rival.
Bottom line? Tyler
still
didn’t want to get Vanessa into trouble. Even if she had morphed into a total bitch lately.
Matt stared intently at him, gauging his reactions. “It’s Nessa, isn’t it? You’re protecting her. You’ve always been protecting her. Man, I didn’t think you were
that
gone on her. Would never have taken up with her after she dumped you if I’d known.”
Tyler believed him. They’d once been teammates, and if not close friends, then at least friends. He figured Matt was on the level and there was no hidden agenda.
“I’m not gone on Vanessa,” he said. “Not anymore. I mean, I think she’s pretty hot and everything. Or I used to. But not now. Not since—” He’d been about to say, “Not since Jay” but Matt beat him to it.
“Yeah. That Jay chick’s really something. Not my type, but I can sure appreciate what she’s got to offer.” He noticed the less-than-impressed expression on Tyler’s face and warded himself with his hands. “Chill, dude. Sooo not interested, okay? Now, your sister— Don’t take this the wrong way, but
she’s
my type. The keeper-type. You know what I’m saying? Makes all the other girls seem like practice runs.”
Tyler rolled the tension from his shoulders. “Yeah. I know what you’re saying.”
Matt sagged—slowly and with a great deal of caution—back into the chair. “Back to Vanessa. I get you’re protecting her. And I figure it’s gotta be something real big, right? ’Cause, dude, lately she’s owning the bitch routine and you still won’t roll over on her. So why don’t you spill and we’ll figure a way to keep us both happy, huh? Besides, I figure I deserve to know what the frick her deal is.”
“Yeah. Guess you’re right.” And God knew it’d be a huge relief to tell someone the truth after all these months of keeping it under wraps and having it eat away at him. “But before I spill my guts, you gotta promise you won’t go off half-cocked.”
Matt’s brows knitted into a troubled frown. “That bad, huh?”
Tyler’s stomach twisted into a knot. Bile scorched his throat and he swallowed convulsively. He’d thought all this was behind him—convinced himself he’d shucked it off, moved on and all that crap. But now the prospect of telling someone loomed, all the disgust and horror and panic he’d felt that night crashed in on him again.
“Yeah,” he finally said. “That bad. So no going all vigilante on me. We’ll both figure out what happens from here on in. Deal?”
“Deal.”
Tyler slid off the edge of the bed and planted his butt on the floor. And the more he tried to find the right words, the more he wondered whether
Confessions Of Tyler
was such a good idea.
Aw, hell. He’d just come right out and say it. “Vanessa was dealing.”
He snuck a look at Matt’s face but Matt wasn’t giving anything away.
“At the after-party, I walked in on her doing a deal with a couple of guys. They freaked and took off. Vanessa must’ve been on something, because I’ve never seen her like that before. Talk about OTT. She was all hysterical, begging me not to tell her parents, sure she was gonna be expelled and stuff. She wouldn’t listen when I told her I wouldn’t say anything if she promised to quit dealing. She offered me drugs. I turned her down—of course. And then she offered something else.”
“Sex.”
Tyler felt his face burning. Sure he was a teenage boy whose hormones practically owned him, but the shame of that night was still very very real. “Yeah. And shit—” He sucked in a deep breath and let it out real slow. Might as well tell all. “I knew she was with you but I’m only human. I mean, when we were dating, Vanessa and I never went all the way. So I was tempted. Real tempted. Who wouldn’t be?”
“Chill, dude. I get where you’re coming from.” Matt laughed, but it sounded more wry than anything else. “Nessa can be pretty damn tempting when she puts her mind to it.”
“You got that right. Those short-shorts….” Matt’s smirk told Tyler they were both on the same wavelength when it came to Vanessa’s taste in clothing.
“Anyway, she threw herself at me. Like, literally. I was trying to calm her down and get her off me, when Shawn walked in.” He shrugged. “That’s kind of it, really.”
“And the reason you didn’t rat Vanessa out?”
“It’s complicated.”
Matt didn’t say anything, just waited.
Tyler stared at the ceiling. Matt would probably think he was the biggest sap on the planet but— “Because I know what her parents are like. I’ve seen them look at her like she’s the biggest disappointment in their lives. It gutted her. And a couple of times, after they’d given her the big lecture about what a no-hoper she was, she cried all over me about it, you know? She swore if they ever found out, they’d have her shipped off to one of those boot-camps for emotionally disturbed kids. And I could totally see them doing that to her.”
Matt picked at a hangnail. “Figures. Nessa’s parents are the sort who go in for emotional abuse. ’Specially her mom. She’s a real piece of work. And probably the main reason why Nessa’s such a screwed up chick in the first place.”
“Yeah. You got that right. I couldn’t do that to her. And I kept quiet.”
“Riiight. That’s it, huh? That’s the big secret?”
“Yup.”
Matt puffed out a disgusted breath. “And you let Shawn tell everyone you’d slipped Nessa something, then tried to do her?
And
let him convince Coach to kick you off the team? Man.”
When he put it like that, it seemed like a really dumbass thing to have done. Hell, if Shawn had taken it a step further, and if Nessa had been prepared to lie and back him all the way, Tyler could’ve ended up slammed with a sexual assault charge.
Then Matt surprised the hell out of him by saying, “I probably would’ve done the same thing.”
“Huh?
You
? Puhlease.”
“Jeez, dude. Your opinion of me is hardly flattering.”
Tyler grinned. “Ya think?” Still, it helped knowing Matt understood why he’d given Vanessa a free pass. It helped a lot more than he cared to admit.
“And what about the Boy Wonder? What the eff was he doing in that room anyway?”
Tyler hit him with full on “Well, duh!” eyes. “You even gotta ask?”