Free Fall (19 page)

“Are you okay?” I asked when Doren seemed to be struggling for words.

“Yes. You saved my life. Thank you, Rainie.”

“I think I owed you one, don’t you? You saved mine too, remember.”

He smiled for a moment and then looked into my eyes. “Rainie, don’t go.”

“Why? What are you afraid I’ll find there?”

He shook his head and said, “It’s not that. You’re still in danger. All of you, the entire Agency team. We can’t be sure what Lissa revealed, or if there are any other operatives among us who could be gunning for you. Each of you will need to be relocated, until we’re certain.” Stevie came to a halt a few feet away from Doren. I glanced up and he nodded. It was time to leave.

“I have to do this. I have to find Roc. I can’t let it end this way.” I touched his face gently and then got to my feet. “Don’t worry, I’ll be okay.”

“I know you will, because I’m going with you.” Doren struggled to his feet. It would be pointless to argue. Doren’s mind was made up.

“Okay.” I glanced at Stevie. “Let’s go.”

The trip from the cabin to the area outside of D.C. was a mere forty-five minute chopper flight but each of those minutes slid by in excruciating slow motion.

Stevie tuned the radio to the frequency being used by the team to communicate. The agents were moving in quickly on the abandoned farmhouse. Their exchanges were short, filled with tension and excitement as they advanced on the house.

Some fifty feet away from the target, an explosion ripped through the night, jarring the secure area where the command post had been set up. The extent of the blast could be felt from our vantage point in the air. The detonation jarred the helicopter. It dipped, then spun to the right. The pilot struggled to bring the craft back under control.

After a moment of stunned silence, which was followed quickly by frantic, broken communications between the agents advancing, heavy gunfire exploded from somewhere behind the command post.

The onslaught lasted only a matter of minutes before it was all over. It felt like hours passed before we finally came upon the sight.

From the air, it looked like a war zone down below. The farmhouse appeared completely engulfed in flames. No one inside the house could have survived. Already, fire and emergency personnel were on the scene.

The helicopter landed some distance away from the hot area. The moment we touched down, Doren, Stevie, and I jumped down to the ground. Doren radioed ahead to let the second-in-command under Roc, Agent Jason Macdonald, know we were en route.

“Have you located our two missing men yet?” Doren asked as Agent Macdonald led us to the command post.

“No, sir. We’re still looking. Their last known communication was over an hour ago in the wooded area north of the farmhouse. We have agents combing the area now.”

“Let’s go then,” Stevie said and we both started in that direction, but Doren stopped us.

“Out of the question. You two aren’t going anywhere.”

Stevie’s eyes flashed; his body grew tense. “Roc and Mark were my friends.”

“They’re my friends as well, but that doesn’t change facts. You two are in danger. You’re not going anywhere.” Doren turned to Agent Macdonald, who stood close by, watching the exchange silently.

“Agent Macdonald, have one of your men stand guard on these two. If either tries to leave here, have them arrested.”

“Yes, sir,” Agent Macdonald said. Within seconds, a young female agent escorted Stevie and me to a black Suburban.

“Great, just great. This is bullshit,” Stevie announced for the benefit of the female agent identified as Agent Simmons, before whispering to me, “What do you think is really going on here?”

“What do you mean?” I looked him in the eye.

“You see the way Macdonald was addressing Doren? You’d think Doren’s in charge.”

“I noticed. Do you think he knows something?”

“I dunno,” Stevie said. “But I’d say something major’s happening here.”

We looked out the window of the Suburban at the activity going on around us. In my heart, I prayed Roc would be found alive, but I wasn’t sure. I could no longer feel his presence with me as I had in the past.

When Doren returned, his expression was grim. He pulled the door open and ordered Stevie to go with Agent Simmons.

“Come with me, Rainie.” He waited while I got out of the Suburban before walking at a fast click.

“Is he dead? Roc’s dead, isn’t he? Just tell me the truth, for God’s sake!” Even to my own ears I sounded hysterical. “No one is telling me anything, but you know something, don’t you? Tell me what you know, Doren. Is Roc dead? Lissa said we were too late…”

“Not here.” Doren took my arm and led me to a nondescript sedan, opening the passenger door. He waited for me to get in before walking around to the driver’s side.

We left the site in silence. When we were a little way away from the activity, he turned to me. “Rainie, we don’t know anything yet. You can’t give up hope.”

“No, it’s different this time, Doren. I don’t feel him here.” I pointed to my heart. “I think he’s dead.”

“Stop it,” he ordered. “We don’t know that for certain.”

I tried to pull myself together. “What aren’t you telling me?” His eyes left mine and went back to the road ahead. “Doren, please…”

“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “We found Mark. He’s alive but he was badly burned in the explosion. They’ve transported him to George Washington Medical Center. Roc and Mark were on the north side close to the farmhouse when the explosion occurred. According to Mark, Roc was just ahead of him.”

“Oh, my God.”

“Rainie, in all the chaos that took place before the explosion, Mark could be wrong. He said the blast knocked him some fifty feet backward.”

“Doren, I can’t do this.” My voice broke with emotion. “I can’t go through this again.”

“Yes, you can, baby. Because you don’t have a choice.” He watched me closely. “You have Roc’s child to consider. And you don’t know anything for sure.”

As I met his gaze again, I could tell Doren knew something more. “What is it?”

“We found two victims inside the house.”

For a moment, I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the rest. “No…”

“Rainie, we haven’t been able to ID either of them yet. It could take days, but the likelihood of either being Roc is next to impossible.”

“But you don’t know for sure,” I said.

“No, not yet.”

For the first time, I noticed the car headed in the opposite direction to D.C. “Where are we going? Where’s Stevie.”

Doren turned to me and smiled. “Stevie is in protective custody and you are being relocated.”

“What? No, Doren, this isn’t what I want.” I needed to be close to Roc.

Doren reached out and touched my face gently. “You don’t have a choice, Rainie. The Agency’s cover is destroyed beyond repair—not that there’s much of its membership left anyway. Lissa’s dead along with Ed. Mark and Stevie will eventually be reassigned and you and Roc are out of the game.”

I couldn’t ask the question I needed to, but Doren guessed. “It was his wish, Rainie. He told me so right before he left. He wanted to have a normal life with you and his child.”

I nodded and looked away for a moment before Doren spotted the tears. “So who will take over Ed’s command?”

Doren chuckled and when I looked at him, I saw the truth.

“Well, you’re looking at him, honey. I’m the new man in charge. Just got the official word tonight. Apparently, they don’t want to wait. I guess they’re afraid the events listed in those documents might actually happen.”

“How many casualties did we take tonight?” I still couldn’t begin to comprehend the enormity of tonight’s attack.

“Half a dozen, at least. But the other side was far worse. The ones who didn’t die in the fighting took their own lives. A few escaped. Those are the ones I’m worried about. But still, we broke their backbone tonight. They’ll be regrouping for some time to come. Can you believe after all those years in the field, I’m being called in?”

“You’re going to make a great leader, Doren. I’d be proud to serve under you.”

Doren’s sad smile told me there was more to come. “You won’t have to. It seems all Agency records have mysteriously disappeared along with any record of yours and Roc’s existence. You are both now officially done. It’s over for you and Roc, Rainie. You’re just a pair of average, run-of-the-mill civilians.”

“But how?” And then it dawned on me. Doren had done this for us.

“Don’t know. Can’t really say. But you’ll soon have nothing to worry about but what to name that baby.”

“Thank you, Doren, but you know there are still dozens of terrorists who know who we are.”

“Yes, I know. That’s why, for a little while, you will be relocated. You’ll have a new identity and we’ll keep a close watch over you. I really think you’re safe this time, Rainie. It’s over for you.”

“Thank you, Doren. Thank you so much. But how will Roc find me if…” I couldn’t finish that statement. I didn’t feel Roc anymore. I’d lost my connection to him.

“He’ll find you, Rainie. I’ll make sure of it.”

I smiled at Doren’s assurance. “You’re a good friend, Doren. I’ll never forget that.”

“I wish…” He didn’t finish.

“What? Tell me what you wish?”

“I wish so many things, Rainie. I wish I could stay with you. I wish I didn’t have to go away. I wish I could be the one you loved.”

“Doren…”

“No, just listen. You know Roc is my friend. But you’re the one thing I’d consider destroying that friendship for.”

“Doren, you don’t mean that. And you don’t have to leave. I need you. You could stay with me until…”

He shook his head and smiled. “Until Roc returns? No, Rainie, you don’t need me. You need me to be Roc, and I can’t do that.”

“Doren, that’s not true.”

“Rainie McClain, you are one extraordinary woman, but it is true. As much as I wish it weren’t the truth, there’s not enough room in your world or your heart for me. I’d always come in third, because you’re going to love Roc for the rest of your life. And then you’re going to love his child. I don’t know how to do third, Rainie. No matter how much I care about you, I can’t be third.”

“Will I ever see you again?” Doren was right. I would never love another man the way I loved Roc. No matter what the outcome of tonight’s events was, Roc and I were meant to be together long before either of us understood this truth.

“Oh, I’ll never be too far away that you can’t find me. I’ll come to you when you want me, or need me, because I can’t help myself. I can’t stay with you. Please, don’t worry about anything.”

“You’ll tell me if you hear anything about…”

“Rainie, you know that I will. Not matter what, I’ll always tell you the truth.”

“Where are you taking me?” But the destination no longer seemed important. No matter where I ended up, Doren had given me the chance at a normal life again. I’d seen enough darkness and death to last a lifetime. I craved normalcy more than anything, but I wanted Roc to share it with me, if only it wasn’t too late for us. I could only pray he was still alive.

I didn’t know what I would find in my new home. Whether Roc would be there waiting for me or whether he had moved on again. Maybe I would prove nothing more than a bitter reminder of the past he needed to forget as well.

The sun had just begun to rise on the distant horizon when we reached the outskirts of the small town where Roc and I once stopped for coffee.

“Wait, can we stop for a moment?” I asked when we drew near the small diner where Gladys worked.

“Sure.” I read all the questions in Doren’s eyes but I couldn’t answer even one of them.

I wasn’t really sure why I had this need to see Gladys again. Maybe in my mind I needed to hear her tell me it wasn’t too late for us.

I walked into the diner with Doren and we took a seat in the same booth where Roc and I had once sat. When a waitress brought us coffee, I asked her about Gladys. The look on her face told me something had happened that she didn’t want to share.

“She works the late shift,” I persisted, thinking maybe the girl was new and just didn’t know Gladys. “I was in the other night just before closing, and she was here.”

“I know who she is, miss. It’s just that…well, Gladys passed away a few days ago.” Tears filled her eyes before she reached inside her apron and brought out a napkin to wipe them away. “She was my best friend. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” My words sounded inept and empty. “She was a wonderful lady. She helped me to realize…” I couldn’t finish those words. Couldn’t tell her I would remember everything Gladys said that night for the rest of my life.

“Thank you for saying so, miss.” I could see she didn’t want to talk about her loss any longer. After another moment, she walked away.

We drank our coffee in silence, and I thought about Gladys and her lost love. I wondered if the man she loved and lost ever thought about her, or considered coming back for her.

“Are you okay?” Doren asked and I was surprised to find I was crying silent tears. Remembering Roc and the love we had shared together made me sadder than I’d ever imagined.

I couldn’t answer and he didn’t press. When the waitress returned, I asked her about Gladys’ boyfriend.

“I don’t think he came to the funeral, miss. I doubt that he even knew about her passing. I mean, it had been years since they talked. Since she came back to live here, in fact, all those years ago. It’s somewhat sad to think about, isn’t it? I mean, only having one love in your life and giving it up when you were so young. For this?”

I couldn’t find an answer for her. I kept remembering Gladys’ final words to Roc and me.

You don’t let anything come between you two, you hear.

I lifted my hand in a gesture of goodbye before Doren and I left the diner and the memories of Gladys’ tragic love story behind.

* * * *

I was relocated to a small farming community in Kansas. The Bureau wanted to put me in a largely populated city but I’d had enough of the big city life to last me a lifetime.

Doren ended up staying with me for a few days until the agents assigned to me could arrive.