Free Fall (2 page)

Under no circumstance was I supposed to refuse a direct order from my director. Still, that didn’t stop me from attempting to argue my case.

“Rainie, can I see you outside for a second?” Roc didn’t wait for me to agree. He took my arm and pretty much forced me from the room. He didn’t stop until we were halfway out of the building, where he finally released me.

“What is
he
doing here? Did you call him?”

“No, but someone certainly did. You have to ask yourself who. And why? Rainie, what happened out there tonight?” Roc lowered his voice when he noticed several curious glances from passing personnel. “What were you doing in that part of the city anyway?”

Of course, I knew this would be his first question, which was why I hadn’t called the incident in to Roc.

“Nothing in particular.” I could see right away that Roc didn’t believe me. “I was just out, okay?”

For the moment, he let it go. “Why didn’t you call for backup when you suspected something might be wrong?”

“Because by that point, I’d become a little too busy trying to keep from being killed.”

“Rainie…” Roc wanted to say more but once he spotted the emergence of my stubborn streak, he gave in.

He glanced back at the Hoover Building as if half expecting Ed to have followed us. “Look, you should probably get out of here before Ed has a chance to come looking for you and blows his top.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Roc, we need to go back in there. Ed’s not accustomed to talking to suspects of this man’s caliber. We can’t let him blow it.”

“That’s not possible.”

“What do you mean? Why not?” When Roc shook his head, I forced him to look me in the eye. “Why not, Roc?”

“Because, for one, Ed’s beginning to get suspicious. You didn’t exactly follow procedure tonight, you know. He’s asking questions about the extent of our relationship.” Roc lowered his voice, careful to keep a certain amount of distance between us even though the look in his eyes told me this was the last thing he wanted to do.

“I think he’s beginning to figure out there might be more to it than just me being your commander.”

“You think he knows about us? How? We’ve been so careful. No one knows the truth but Mark. And he would never say anything to Ed.”

“I don’t know, but do you really want to get into it with him tonight?”

Roc was right. Ed could be a force to be reckoned with when someone went against one of his precious rules. He’d have no problem throwing me to the wolves if he thought it would save his reputation.

“No. But I have a bad feeling about this guy. He’s important. We can’t have Ed screwing things up by trampling on the guy’s civil rights. Or worse, letting him go.”

“Mark’s on his way in. He’ll sit in with Ed. Why don’t you let me take you home?”

My first instinct was to refuse. This was my prisoner. I wanted to be part of the interrogation. But the thought of facing Ed Peyton’s suspicions tonight made my decision easy.

I waited next to my car while Roc spoke to Mark. There were moments in their conversation where it appeared to grow heated. I wondered if they might be arguing about me as they had been doing recently. After several curious glances my way, Mark went inside and Roc joined me.

“He’ll want to talk to you tomorrow. Okay?” Roc spared me a glance as he slid into the driver’s seat.

Once we were buckled and on our way, I turned to him in the darkness and tried to determine what he wasn’t telling me.

“That’s all you and Mark were talking about? From the way you two were going at it, I’d have sworn it was more.”

Roc simply shook his head and I knew it would be pointless to press him for answers. He drove through the crowded streets in silence. Dozens of questions had to be going through his head, but he wouldn’t ask them tonight.

Publicly, for our colleagues and enemies, Roc and I were business only. He was my commanding officer, nothing more. When we were alone like this, he was also my husband. I’d fallen in love with Roc without ever questioning our future together. Or if we’d even have one.

He stopped outside my apartment complex and turned to me, brushing a finger along my cheek.

“Let me stay with you tonight?”

More than anything, I wanted to be with him tonight, not as a fellow agent but as his wife, but there were things in my apartment I didn’t want Roc knowing about. Things like the message on my voicemail that brought me out tonight. The one I hadn’t bothered to erase.

“No.”

“Rainie…”

“No, I mean not here. Let’s go to your place instead. It feels more like home.”

Roc didn’t ask the question he wanted to. Instead, he put the car in gear and drove north to the quiet Brightwood Park neighborhood where he and I had first accepted our relationship was more than just a passing, physical affair. We’d tried to end it so many times in the beginning, but we always came back to each other, because nothing, not even The Agency and its rules, could stop us from falling in love.

“You should try to get some sleep.” Roc closed the door and we stood facing each other in that awkward silence I’d become accustomed to as of late.

Although he was right, sleep was the last thing I wanted. My thinking process felt disjointed, my thoughts spinning in a million different directions. Why wasn’t Roc showing the usual signs of being furious with me? After all, by now he had to know there was a very real chance the man I’d hauled in was FLA.

“What aren’t you telling me?” I asked. “You know who this guy is affiliated with, so why aren’t we both down there with Mark? This isn’t like you.”

“Not like me? Rainie, you could have gotten yourself killed tonight and all you’re worried about is interrogating this guy. Do you even realize that? Can’t you let it go?”

The expression on his face told all of his fears. My brush with death had shaken him. It should have shaken me as well. I went into his arms and held him close. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I know you were worried and I’m sorry.” His arms tightened around me painfully.

“I don’t want to talk about work tonight, okay? I just want to hold you and reassure myself that you are really safe.” He wasn’t simply talking about the physical dangers I’d faced tonight.

Unlike Roc, I wasn’t ready to face those demons just yet.

“Is that all you want to do?” I teased and felt his answering smile against my hair.

“No.”

He held my waist and put me a little away from him, searching my eyes. This was the man I loved. My one and only love. My husband.

“Make love to me, Roc. Please, I don’t want to wait any longer. Make love to me now.”

“Oh, my God, yes.” His lips claimed mine. Familiar. Strong. Roc.

Then he lifted me in his arms and carried me to our bedroom.

The only light in the room was from the moon outside. It was enough to see the raw desire in his eyes. The same desire that would be reflected in mine as well.

It was always like this between us. Whatever happened, no matter how much we might disagree about other parts of our life, the passion we felt for each other never faded.

Roc smiled down at me as if reading my thoughts. He pulled me against him, his lips moving against mine, creating a familiar need deep inside of me.

Roc’s hands slipped over my body slowly, touching me, reaching past the walls I’d erected to protect my heart against the future, which all but guaranteed heartache.

I shuddered in response and felt his smile against my lips. It was as seductive as his kiss.

His strong fingers followed the curves of my body, gliding across the edges of my breasts, down to the curve of my hips to cup my bottom, bringing me closer to his full erection.

I lifted my hands to touch his chest before letting one slide lower. Roc grabbed my wrist, bringing my hand still farther down, allowing me to feel his response through the strained material of his jeans. His eyes never left mine.

“Do you see what you do to me?”

My legs circled his waist automatically as he lifted me up into his arms. We fit together perfectly and yet I wanted to be closer.

There were times when I didn’t feel close to him. Even when he was inside me, I still couldn’t seem to reach him.

I closed my eyes tightly as Roc carried me to the bed. His lips found mine once more. He lowered me back, our bodies still joined, never breaking the kiss.

Slowly, he slipped my blouse over my head. The cool air brushed across my heated skin. I felt Roc momentarily move away.

“God, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered while looking down at me, his gaze sliding over my body clothed only in my pale-pink bra.

Suddenly I was at a loss for words. So many secrets lay between us. The biggest of them all was the one I believed would be the end of us. Had he guessed? I felt vulnerable.

Roc lay next to me, his lips moving across mine once more, then traveling down my throat. He kissed each of my breasts to arousal through the filmy material of my bra. I drew in a shaky breath, which brought his eyes back to mine.

His fingers skillfully removed the last barrier of my clothing, sliding my panties from my body.

I closed my eyes when his lips trailed warm, hot kisses across my ribcage and down to my navel, dipping inside. A shudder of raw desire pulsed through my body when Roc’s lips moved lower, caressing my inner thigh before drifting upward to mouth the soft warmth between them once more.

I arched against his lips as waves of pleasure rocketed through my innermost parts.

Roc stilled his touch, waiting until the climax passed and then he stood and quickly undressed, his eyes never leaving mine.

He came back to me, his lips taking mine once again, gently forcing them open. His tongue delved deep inside. As much as his touch thrilled me, I wanted to touch Roc in the same way.

“No.” His voice shook a little when my fingers stroked his erection. Roc took my hands and held them above my head. He took his time touching me, kissing me, stroking my body until I begged him to enter me.

Roc moved between my legs, his eyes still locked with mine. The feeling of him, my every desire, sliding inside of me with a single thrust was enough to send me orgasmic once again.

My reaction and Roc’s were the same. It was as if the breath had been driven from each of us by the force of our bodies joining. Roc waited for me to still once more. Then he began moving inside me, each thrust harder, until nothing existed between us but sheer reaction. Just before I reached the edge once more, Roc slowed the rhythm of his thrusts, prolonging my pleasure and my agony.

“Roc…” My voice sounded weak. Wanton. Urging him on.

My name was torn from him as he drove deeper, faster, until I tightened around him, then quivered and convulsed again and again.

Roc held on until the moment passed and then I felt the warmth of him release inside of me, and Roc, the man of my dreams, lost himself within me.

He collapsed against my body, his heart racing against mine, matching its rhythm as the world around us splintered, then spun out of control.

* * * *

When I awoke early the following morning, I was alone in bed. The second I swung my feet over the side, the room around me began to spin out of control.

With the morning light, the reality of what happened the night before took hold of me. I’d come close to dying and yet I was no closer to proving the man claiming to be my lost brother was anything more than someone trying to lure me out alone.

As a familiar sense of nausea settled in, I closed my eyes, trying to will it away and finally abandoning all hope of that happening. I ran to the bathroom, closed the door, and turned on the faucet to prevent Roc from hearing. No matter how much I tried to convince myself this was just reaction to recent events and fears, I realized it was different. This wasn’t the first time. For weeks now, I’d experienced this same sickness. I told myself it was just the thought of what lay ahead for me without Roc, but in my heart, I knew the truth.

When I was able to leave the bathroom, I went downstairs and found Roc in his study talking with Mark. The moment I walked into the room, both men stopped their discussion and turned to me.

“Rainie, I didn’t expect you up so soon.” Roc got to his feet and kissed my cheek.

Mark was the only one of the team Roc trusted with knowing the truth about our relationship. Mark was a good friend of Roc’s, but even so, we were taking a huge risk by letting anyone in on our secret.

Romantic relationships between Bureau members were a big no-no. But that hadn’t stopped us. We’d been attracted right from the start. We’d gotten married within a few months of sleeping together that first time. All very secretive.

Although most of the team suspected something was going on between us, we all pretty much honored the ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy.

Of course, this meant living separate lives for the world around us to see, finding only a few precious moments together where we could be just another married couple. With Roc’s increased work assignments for the Bureau, which took him away from me for weeks at a time, those moments were becoming almost nonexistent.

I still kept my apartment on Rosedale, and Roc had the house here in Brightwood Park.

We lived separately.

I hated the lies but I’d learned to tolerate our secret life because I loved Roc and I didn’t want to live without him. Lately though, I found myself thinking about things like family and growing old together. Having more than just a few moments in secret as husband and wife. But as Roc was quick to point out, there could never be a normal life for us. We were spies; we’d both chosen this path.

“Did you get anything useful out of the suspect last night, Mark?” I asked and watched the two exchange an unreadable look.

“Nothing useful has turned up yet, Agent McClain,” he said without really looking at me. I didn’t believe him. There had been something in the way the man emphasized my last name that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It was almost as if he knew everything about me, including my marriage to Roc.

I had little doubt I would face this man again someday. It wasn’t over between us—not by a long shot. I’d meet him again, no matter how desperate I was to get out of this game, because like it or not, we had unfinished business together.