Freeing Alex (19 page)

 “You… have got some explaining to do!” I point at him
before grabbing my yoga pants and a t-shirt.

He stands and reaches for his jeans, dialling the hotel as
he does. “Hi, it’s James. Can you ask whoever’s on the door to look out for
Anna Drake and her friend, apparently they’re pissed! Bloke from Henry’s has
put them in a cab back to the hotel…”

I give him a filthy look – describing my daughter as
pissed
!
I’m allowed to do that, not anyone else. He shrugs his shoulders at me.

He dresses quickly and I brush my hair and teeth while he
finishes.

I head downstairs and collect my bag from the kitchen. I
fill a glass with water and take a quick drink while I’m there and look around at
the mess we left. James appears in the kitchen doorway. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

We leave and are soon on our way through London’s streets.
They take on a completely different look at night; some darker areas look
sinister, I see homeless people huddled in shop doorways, sleeping bags tight
up around their necks. Poor souls, if I’d have left Lewis before all this
happened, that could have been me or, worse still, me and Anna.

James is concentrating, gripping the wheel.

“Won’t the staff think it’s funny that we’ve arrived
together at two a.m.?” It’s never crossed my mind before that we’re spending so
much time together. I wonder if anyone else has noticed? I bet Marcus has.

“So what if they do, you’re not embarrassed of me, are you?”
he asks.

“No… No way, in fact the opposite. I like you being by my
side, what woman wouldn’t?”

We’ve not long arrived and we’re waiting in the foyer when a
cab pulls up outside. Anna and Katie all but fall out; Anna’s on her knees and
Katie, well, she’s standing but I wonder how in those three-inch heels. Their
short dresses are leaving nothing to the imagination, I can see everything and
when I say everything, I really do mean that!

“Come on, girls, large glass of water and bed,” James says
as he grabs Katie, just as she’s about to go arse over tip.

“Who… who… are… you?” she slurs. “You’re very nice, I like
you. I’m Katie, pleased… hic… pleased to meet you!”

James laughs, shaking his head. “Good to meet you too,
Katie. Now, come on, be a good girl, let’s get you up to your room and sleep
this off.”

“GO KATIE, GO KATIE!” Anna shouts at the top of her voice.
“You pulled – you little minx,” she slurs. “I want one too, Muuum… Katie pulled
and I… I’m going to hurl!” she yells for the whole hotel to hear.

I drag my not-so-darling daughter into the loos and shove
her in a cubicle just as Lord knows how much alcohol is spewed into the pan. I
stand behind her, doing my motherly bit, and hold her hair out of the way.
She’s done this before, the school prom was the first time, I suppose because
she normally doesn’t drink the effects are far worse.

We must be in that cubicle for twenty minutes before she
finally finishes emptying her stomach.

“Come on, lady. Bed!” I hold onto her as she staggers out of
the loo.

James and I negotiate the lift and corridor to their room.
Katie hasn’t thrown up, so we’ve possibly that delight still to come. James
insists that they both drink a pint of water. I help them both undress whilst
James, being a gentleman, waits outside.

Once I’m sure they’re both comfortable and after acquiring
two buckets from housekeeping, I leave them with the lights down low and pop my
head around the door. James is sitting on the floor leaning against the wall.
“Do you think I should stay with them?” I ask. “You know, in case one of them chokes.”

He looks at his watch. “It’s three a.m., only a couple of
hours before it’s light, I suppose you should. I’ll go and get you a drink,
what do you fancy?”

“I’m okay, I’ll make a tea in the room.” I glance back at
the hospitality tray.

“Fine, I’ll go and catch up with Robbie, see how things are
going.” He climbs up from his seat on the floor.

“Sure, if they seem to be okay I’ll come and find you. We’re
still on for shopping tomorrow – sorry, later today?” I ask.

He shrugs. “Yeah, if that’s what you want.”

“It is.” I kiss him lightly on the forehead. “Sorry, James.”

“No worries. She’s eighteen, we’ve all been there, some of
us more than others.” He grins.

“Oh yes? So I take it you were a bit of a wild one when you
were younger?” I grin.

“Umm. Maybe?”

I stay in the girls’ suite,
positioning myself on the small sofa, and listen for any sounds, evidence of
movement, or asphyxiation. The last thing I want to report to Katie’s parents
is that she choked on her own vomit whilst in my care, that’s the one and only
reason I’m keeping such a careful eye on them. I’ve made myself more tea and
drink it slowly, sipping the hot liquid which offers a little comfort. I was so
happy in James’s arms. Despite being asleep I think I still felt the comfort of
him being around me, my head on his chest, it all just felt so right.

I think about Lewis and his behaviour yesterday, which
frankly was appalling, and I reach to my cheek. I left home in such a hurry and
without any makeup, the bruise must be showing properly now. Thoughts of his
previous outbursts run through my mind. There are many and I am sure that I
must have forgotten some of them; the episodes that resulted in my injuries I
remember more vividly. The cracked ribs, the nasty bruises and the times I cancelled
routine appointments and been prevented from attending functions because I was
sporting injuries that would undoubtedly have been noticed. Not that I minded
not going to the functions – I wouldn’t have known anyone there, they were
Lewis’s friends and acquaintances, all I was required for was to behave as a
token wife should, not say a word, just look “pretty” on his arm, as he used to
tell me, and God forbid if anyone spoke to me and I entered into conversation
with them, particularly about business. I would feel like I was treading on egg
shells in case I said the wrong thing to the wrong person, which was highly
likely as I was not privy to any information regarding his business, so
whatever I said would be wrong and result in some sort of furious row once we
returned home. I shake myself.
Stop dwelling on the past, Alex, it’s gone,
we’ve moved on…

I make myself yet another cup of tea and check the time,
5.30 a.m., it’s just about light. I check on the girls, they’re both still fast
asleep in a tangle of sheets, both sleeping on their sides, that’s good.

I ring down to reception and ask them to send some
Alka-Seltzer up, they’ll need it when they wake, and then I flick through a
magazine and must doze until around nine when I hear someone move and then the
bathroom door slam shut. I check the beds, it must be Katie, Anna’s still sound
asleep. I tap the bathroom door. “Katie, are you all right?” I ask.

My reply is the sound of Katie retching, followed by, “Fine,
Al.” Katie has always called me Al, I’m unsure why and can only think that as a
little girl she couldn’t get her tongue around Alex or Alexandra. Anyway, she’s
the only person who calls me that and I don’t mind.

I hear her retch again followed by the flush of the toilet.
“Do want some water?” I ask through the door.

“Please,” she moans. “I’m never drinking those things…” She
doesn’t finish her sentence before she’s retching again.

I sit on the end of Katie’s vacant bed waiting for her to
emerge and in anticipation of Anna taking her place in the bathroom. As I wait,
Anna wakes. She looks at me; her skin is red and blotchy and her eyes are
puffy. “Was it a good night?” I ask with a wry smile.

“Yeah. Oh shit, I’m going to be sick.” She moves quickly out
of bed.

“Bathroom’s occupied,” I say, and pick up the bucket I left
her last night.

“Oh no, Mum, not in a bucket!” But it’s too late and she
hurls anyway into said bucket, which I have deftly held in place to catch the
expulsion of her stomach contents.

“What were you drinking last night?” I wince at her as she
continues to vomit.

“Zombies, we had a few each.”

“What’s in a Zombie?” I ask, having never heard of it.

“It’s rum based, that’s all I know… and very nice… Oh no!”

She hurls again.
It’s a delightful job I have here
, I
think to myself,
and such a good job that I’m not easily disturbed by
someone throwing up.

The morning moves on quickly and when it becomes apparent
that the girls have stopped throwing up, we make our way to the restaurant, but
not before I’ve used some of Anna’s makeup to cover my bruised face. It’s not
quite as bad as I thought it would be, but the evidence that someone has
walloped me still shows.

It is my intention that they have a decent breakfast each,
even if it’s only several slices of dry toast. They need to have something in
their stomachs. On the way down, I text James.

Girls finished vomiting, on way to eat breakfast. Meet us
there? XX

A few seconds later my phone pings with James’s reply:

OK blossom. On way. Missed U. JX ;)

We walk through the archway to the restaurant and are
greeted by the delightful Marcus.

“Good morning, Mrs Drake, Miss Drake. I’m sorry, I don’t
think we’ve been introduced,” he says to Katie.

“I’m Katie, Anna’s best friend,” she croaks and offers her
hand, which he gladly accepts and shakes, his sausage-like fingers gripping
Katie’s tiny hand.  

“Table for the three of you today?” he asks.

“No, James is joining us,” I say shortly.

“Oh, is
he
? This way, please.”

“Yes,
he
is, Marcus.” I can be just as terse as he
can.

We sit and order coffee, tea, and plenty of brown and white
toast. The coffee and tea arrive very quickly, courtesy of Lola, and the toast
arrives very soon after, as does James. Both girls look like death warmed up,
they probably feel like it too!

He bends and kisses my cheek before sitting down. Anna looks
as he kisses me. “
Mum,”
she mouths.

“What?” I ask her.

“You… you and…” she nudges her head towards James, “…him.”

“So?” I frown.

“Nothing, it’s cool,” she laughs. “My Mum pulled and he’s…
well, he’s a walking, living sex god!”

James raises an eyebrow and looks at me and then at Anna. He
says nothing, I assume he’s just storing the information. I flush.

“So, what did you girls get up to last night, what did you
drink to make you like that?” His tone is firm.

“They had a drink called a zombie.” I volunteer the
information that Anna gave to me earlier.

“Zombie! No wonder you were plastered. You do know how many
shots of rum there are in a zombie?” He shakes his head, sighing.

“No!” Katie and Anna answer in unison. “How many?” Katie
asks.

“There’s one of Bacardi, one of dark rum, one of light,
and
one of apricot brandy. That’s four shots of spirit in each cocktail. How many
did you have?”

“I don’t know.” Anna plays with her toast and looks at Katie
for support. “Four or five, maybe six,” she says meekly.

“Four or five or six! That’s like twenty-plus shots! No
wonder you were both pissed, it’s a wonder you didn’t give yourself bloody alcohol
poisoning!” He looks shocked, I think, that they’re not in hospital.

I look on as James gives Anna and Katie a dressing down. I
know he shouldn’t really, it’s not his place, not his responsibility, but
everything he’s saying is correct. I smile, if anyone else was talking to Anna
and her friend like this I’d jump straight on them, but no, everything James
says is right, maybe they’ll remember this little lecture better with it coming
from James, rather than me. 

“What would have happened if the guy at the club hadn’t have
called your mum? He didn’t have to, in fact, I’m surprised that he did, they
would normally just throw you out on the street and let the police deal with
you. Have you listened to his message? I’m for anyone having a good time, hell –
I’ve been there, done it and got all the merchandise that goes along with it,
but four or five zombies! Huh, I thought you two were supposed to be bright,
clever?” His tone is firm, they’re having a proper telling off.

I can see that he’s not happy. His face is tense, his
expression one of worry and concern, but he’s also angry. He sounds like a dad.
Yes, I expect he’ll make a great dad one day, but not with me by his side,
he’ll have someone much younger then.  

In their defence, I add to the discussion: “I think the
girls have learnt a hard lesson this morning. They were in a terrible state
until an hour or two ago, I don’t think they’ll be doing it again in a hurry
and I don’t think they’ll be having zombies ever again!”

“We won’t, Mum, promise. We won’t, will we, Katie?” Anna
sounds dreadful.

“No, Al, and I’m sorry,” Katie mutters.

I place my hand on top of hers and give it a little squeeze.
“As long as you’re okay and I’m not having to call your parents to report that
you’ve choked on your own vomit, been held in police custody for being drunk
and disorderly, or worse still, been abducted!”

 “We’re so sorry, Mum. Can we go to the spa, have a massage,
recover? If they can fit us in?” Anna asks.

“They’ll have some gaps today, so long as you don’t mind what
time you go,” James says. “Ask at reception.”

We finish our breakfast in relative quiet.

We’ve nipped home and changed and
then taken a cab into central London. We’re here to buy more clothes. More, I
hear you say? Well, you must remember that when I walked out of my
Staffordshire home I left the majority of my wardrobe behind. All I brought with
me were some essentials, a couple of pairs of jeans, several t-shirts and tops,
a handful of underwear which my darling daughter describes as being
Granny-like
,
a couple of lightweight summer dresses and, of course, a couple of pairs of
shoes. My first shopping trip was with Anna a few weeks ago, I just haven’t had
quality time at my disposal to spend on myself. Now I have an amazing lover who
is happy to peruse some of the high-end London stores with me. I plan to buy
for James as well.

I’m casually dressed and so is he. To be honest, the clothes
that I’m wearing don’t really belong in Harvey Nicks or Selfridges, I look and
feel a bit poor! Plus the fact that I’m still sporting a bruised cheek,
although having covered it as best I can, it doesn’t look too bad – if you
don’t look too closely at me.

“So what are you looking for?” James holds my hand tightly
and we stroll past a variety of boutique style shops.

“I don’t know, let’s just see what takes our fancy. I’d just
like some nice clothes, you know, dresses, skirts and tops.”

We walk along and stop at the entrance to a little boutique.
There’s a couple of pretty summer dresses in the window. “What do you think
about that?” I ask.

“Mmmm, it’s nice.” He’s non-committal.

“Nice, is that all?” I look up at him.

“Well, it’s a dress.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“You don’t like it, do you?” I mumble.

“I haven’t got to wear it, it’s nice!”

“I’m going to have a look inside, coming?” I pull him
towards the shop’s entrance.

We enter the store. The racks are hung with an array of
dresses, skirts and tops, they’re all so feminine and the place looks like it’s
been done out to resemble a boudoir. There’s only one sales assistant, she’s
sat at the little white desk, mobile to her ear, obviously talking to a friend.
She acknowledges us as we walk in but carries on with her conversation. I start
to flick through the dresses. James stands behind me with his hand around my
waist. Since we left the girls I don’t think there’s been a moment where there
hasn’t been any physical contact. 

“What about this one?” I ask, pulling a pale blue shift
dress from the rack.

“I like the colour, it’ll suit you.” He takes the dress from
me and holds it under my chin. “Yes, the colour’s really you, highlights your
eyes. I like it! I think I like you in blue.”

I check the size. “I’m going to try it on.”

I look towards the sales assistant and point towards what
looks like the changing rooms. She nods but carries on talking.

I enter the curtained-off changing room and hang the dress
and my bag on the hook provided. I slip off my jeans and then pull my top off.
As I do, the curtain is pulled back by the assistant, my back is to her… “Can I
be of any hel—” she starts to say but stops, I think having seen my back.

She doesn’t get a chance to finish her sentence. “Get out!”
I shout. “Get out.” 

She just stands there. James is by her side in a flash. “The
lady said to move away, please now, move!”

The girl does as she is asked and moves back to her desk. I
turn towards James who has his arms outstretched. “Come here,” he says, and I
fall into them.

“I want to go home. Please take me home!” I cry into his
shoulder.

James picks my clothes up and helps me dress.

“Did she see anything?” he asks as he passes me my clothes.

“I think so, my back was to her,” I whimper, and he nods in
acknowledgement. I feel terrible for making a scene.

As we walk out of the store, he stops at the little desk.
“In future, young lady, I would suggest that you ask if any of your customers
need help from the other side of the curtain. What you have just done is darn
right rude, it’s unforgivable. We won’t be coming back, I’m sure Alex would
have bought that dress and more, but not now, never again.”

The girl just stares. “I’m sorry,” she says.

“Too late,” James hisses as he marches me out of the store.
“Too late.”

“Take me home, please,” I beg. I feel so insecure about my
back. I know there are people out there who are far more scarred than me, have
far worse injuries but this, but I’m just so ashamed, so ashamed that I didn’t
leave Lewis.

James puts his arm around my waist. He holds me closely as
we walk along the footpath a little way until he spots a cab. He waves his hand
to the driver and helps me in, giving my Chelsea address. I’ve never felt so
embarrassed – I remember he asked me a few days ago, when he first saw my back,
how I’d managed to avoid anyone else seeing it. Well, now he knows how
difficult that has been over the years.

As the taxi trundles along, I rest my head on his shoulder.
I’m gutted and I feel dirty, although I’ve no reason to. He holds me close for
the whole journey, neither of us saying a word. He doesn’t have to speak, I can
tell from the way he’s holding me, his face, his beautiful face, he looks angry
and hurt. I feel protected, secure and it’s a strange feeling because since the
day my mum gave my hand to Lewis I’ve never felt like this. The day my mum gave
me to the care of the bastard I felt like I’d stopped being cared for, although
I doubt she didn’t stop caring, she just didn’t show it. 

Lewis would snarl if my mum so much as gave me a hug, so she
stopped. In her old-fashioned way she decided to keep out of my marriage. If
only she’d not been so prim and proper, maybe the last twenty-two years
wouldn’t have happened. Can I blame her, or Maggie?
Is it
their fault?
Probably not! It’s mine! I’m the one who caused all this, I’m the one who
didn’t have the guts to say “enough’s enough”.

The taxi pulls up outside of my home. James gets out first
and helps me, he pays the driver and we make our way through my shiny front
door. Once inside, he pulls me close and just holds me for what feels like
eternity. “I’m so sorry,” he whispers.

“I’m fine,” I say, but I’m not. I’m ashamed, humiliated and
embarrassed. I am trying so hard to move on with my life, to put the past
behind me, but there’s always something, someone determined to stop me. I’m so
cross that I let that girl get the better of me. I should have ignored it and
carried on. It’s me that’s the problem not the damn scar.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just a burn, but it clearly
is an iron and the brand is not accidental looking,” I say as he holds me.

“We can get it looked at. You know that guy who looked after
you in the restaurant?”

I nod.

“He gave me his card, he’s a plastic surgeon,” he explains.

I pull myself out of his arms and head towards the living
room. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. What I need now is a large vodka and
cranberry.” 

“I’ll fix it, go and sit down,” he orders.

I do as I am told and curl up on the huge sofa. James
appears shortly after with a large deep pink drink, the crystal glass tinkling
with ice.

“Not having one?” I ask.

“No, a bit early for me,” he says as he flops down next me.

“Tell me about you, James… I don’t really know much about
you, other than how Maggie found you.” I look up at him.

“There’s not much to tell, other than I’ve always been in
the hospitality industry.”

“Where were you born?” I ask.

“Italy.” He surprises me.

“Do I have to ask open questions, or are you going to tell
me a little about yourself?” I ask.

“You don’t need to know.” He laughs.

“I do. I’ve already gone against all the rules I set for
Anna, about boys and things. I would go ape shit if I thought she’d been
intimate with a boy she knew nothing about, and yet I’ve done it. It’s double
standards, not good, not good at all!” I’m feeling a little better already,
probably the vodka!

He looks at me and stretches his arm open. “Come here.” He
pulls me into him and I rest my head on his shoulder.

“I was born in Italy, but raised here in the UK. My dad was
Italian through and through but as you know we lost him, I was just eighteen
when he died. My mother was – is – English, hence my very English name. After I
was born, my mother apparently insisted that I was raised in the UK so my dad
and her moved back here with me. I am told that I was only six months old when
she upped and left. I don’t remember her, all I have is a photograph, and
that’s well over thirty years old.” He tells me his life in a few words, his
tone very matter of fact.

“I’m so sorry, James.” I run my hand over his muscles
through his shirt.

“My dad was brilliant. He worked in the hospitality
industry.”

“With Roberto?” I ask.

“Yes, they were partners in the bistro that Roberto still
runs, that’s how come I worked there. They were like brothers. It hurt Roberto
just as much as me when my dad went.” He looks so sad as he tells me about his
dad.

“How did he die, James?”

“He was mugged. Whoever the bastard was that did it caught
him well off guard, he hit his head on the kerb and never regained
consciousness. I was his next of kin. I remember sitting with Roberto and Gia,
his wife, and taking the decision to turn that damn machine off.” He looks
away.

I sit up. “Oh James, I am so, so sorry. No-one, let alone an
eighteen year old, should have to go through that.”

“I wasn’t alone, Alex.” He smiles. “I had Roberto and Gia. I
stayed with them for a little while. They don’t have children, they sort of
adopted me, I suppose, or did I adopt them?” He laughs.

“They were very lucky. What was your dad’s name?” I ask him.

“My Dad was called Lucca. And no, I was lucky. They’re both
amazing. You must meet them, they’ll think the world of you, they really will.
I’ve told them about you already. Do you want to go there tonight, for dinner?
I know they’re desperate to meet you,” he says.

“Why not? I’ll check on Anna, make sure she’s okay and not
going on the lash again.”

I feel a little brighter, I’ve put things into perspective.
Yes, I’ve got scars, I don’t like them and that girl in the dress shop, well… I
suppose I’ll get over it, but having to take the decision to end a parent’s
life, to end anyone’s life, and especially at the age of just eighteen – that’s
bad, really bad.

Moving away from the sofa, I fetch my handbag and dig around
for my mobile. I check the screen. I’ve a new text, I didn’t hear that ping.
Opening the text message, it’s from Lewis, even though he’s not supposed to
contact me directly. I open it anyway and immediately regret doing so.

U fucking bitch. 1/2 of Maggie’s money is mine, it’s
mine. Watch ur fucking back U bitch.

I gasp and throw my hand over my mouth.

“What’s up?” James stands and walks towards me. I hold out
my phone. He reads the text and mutters some expletives under his breath.
“Bastard! Don’t reply to this, Alex, I’ll let the police know. Have you got the
officer’s card? I had one but I’ve left it in my office,” he asks.

“I think so.” I rummage through my handbag again and find
the card at the bottom.

“Go and have a shower, Alex, or whatever you’ve got to do.
I’ll make the call, then we’ll go out.” He’s taking charge again, in a good
way.

I’m shaking and just look up at him. “Shower,” he says again
firmly. “It’ll do you good – go on.” He points towards the stairs.

I start my way up the stairs to my room and look back at
James, who has his mobile in one hand and the police officer’s card in the
other. He looks at me. “Shower, now… Leave this to me, Alex, just go and get
done.”

“I should be me making that call,” I say softly. “It’s my
problem, not yours, I should be dealing with it. I should be stronger!”

“Blossom, just go and have a shower! It’s a phone call,
nothing else. The officers saw how you were when they sorted him out, they know
you’re vulnerable – well, as far as he is concerned. Please, please just let me
take care of you, please.”

I turn away and start up the stairs, I only take a few steps
up.
No! It’s my problem.
I turn back down towards the hall, I can hear
James talking as I march into the kitchen.

“James, can I have the phone.” I hold out my hand to take
the phone from him. He looks shocked, “Phone James, please! I want to speak
with the police myself!”

“Can you hold a moment,” he says to whoever he’s speaking
with and slowly hands the phone to me, a slight smile across his beautiful lips
as I speak to the police officer explaining what’s happened. Once I’ve relayed
the information I clear the call and hand the phone back to James feeling, well
empowered. Alex Drake, I
can
do this. I
know
that my life will
continue to change for the better. I just can’t be doing with the hassle and
the hatred that is being inflicted on me as we go along. Lewis is showing his
true colours, this time for everyone to see, not just me. Part of me wishes
that my secrets remained secret, yet another part of me is so pleased that this
is all out in the open.
Shower, Alex
, I tell myself.

Feeling so proud of myself and confident I head of back to
my en-suite and turn the shower on. I undress slowly and flick through my
wardrobe for something suitable for this evening. It’s warm, so I decide on a
terracotta silk dress that I added to my collection when shopping with Anna
when we first moved to London; it’s a really pretty little dress with a bow at
the front.

I sort out a matching set of white bra and knickers and a
pair of creamy coloured heels. Job done, shower next.

The shower is lovely and I just stand there letting the
water caress and soothe me. I squeeze a blob of shampoo into my palm and close
my eyes as I work it into a lather, it feels divine as the water washes the
suds away. I open my eyes to reach for the conditioner and standing before me
is My James in his naked glory, his presence initially making me jump a little.
“I… I didn’t hear you come in,” I say quietly. His chest is magnificent, his
stomach ripped, and those arms… the hours he must have put in to achieve that
body.