Freeing Alex (5 page)

I snap at Shauna, not intentionally, I’m just so cross. “No,
Shauna, I’m not increasing my offer I said that I would clear the mortgage for
the house only. If the basta—” I stop, taking a deep breath. “If he’s secured
any other debts, business or other, on the house, then they’re his
responsibility. It’s the house only, as in when we purchased it about fifteen
years ago. I think we paid about £150,000 for it, but you’d have to check.” I’m
short with her, I know I am, but having to go through this all again, and Lewis
being awkward!

I’m firm and I’ve stood my ground, I am not bailing him out!
He’s run my life for the last twenty-two years and made it hell since Anna was
born, he’s not getting any more out of me. It’s a brilliant settlement and
anyone else would grab it and run, but
no
, not Lewis. This is just what
I feared, that he wouldn’t make things easy, that he would create waves, want
more. Hell, I bet he wants all of it.

I hear Shauna sigh, “Okay, I’ll go back to the other side
this afternoon, clearly lay our offer on the table,” she tells me.

I’m so cross that Lewis is already causing problems and that
my solicitor doesn’t seem to have the full details regarding my offer for the
house recorded. They have this documented, I’ve
seen
their notes.
“Shauna,” I say.

“Yes, Mrs Drake. Is there anything else?”

I sigh deeply, feeling a little fuzzy. Just speaking about
Lewis makes me nervous and frightened. He still scares me even though we’re
miles apart. I know from past experience of living and dealing with him that
he’s capable of anything. I also know that he is motivated by cash and that he
would do just about anything to get his hands on all of this, something that
I’ve been wary of from the day I received that first letter from Parry’s. I
know he would stop at nothing to get his hands on Maggie’s estate – nothing.

I’m angry, I’m upset and I’m fired up – the perfect
combination to forget where I am and who’s around me. I start to feel warm,
flush… The start of an episode, hell no! Not here, please.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “Shauna, he’s
not getting a single penny more out of me. He takes the offer or he accepts
nothing. I’d prefer to stay married to him and just have my own life than let
him get his hands on a penny more of Maggie’s money, you understand me?” I
pause, taking a further deep breath. “If he starts messing around I’ll include
battery in my basis for divorce. I’ve got some photographs. The sc—” I stop my
ramblings abruptly, conscious of where I am and who’s listening and just how
much I shouldn’t have said. Shit, the moment I say it I wish I could take it
back. Oh hell, loose lips, I really didn’t want James to hear that.

Shauna goes quiet for a moment. I hadn’t mentioned the
physical stuff to her as I didn’t want it to be raked up, the memories are too
painful.

There’s a moment’s silence from Shauna’s end. “Alex, I
totally understand, but if you want to include that we’ll need to talk again.
In fact, if you need to talk about it, let me know.” I hear her take a deep
breath. “He’d be a fool not to accept your offer anyway, his solicitor knows
this too. I
will
mention what you’ve just said to his solicitor, maybe
they can persuade him to just agree so we can get along with things,” she tries
to reassure me.

“Is that all, Shauna?” I can feel myself getting warmer. I’m
sure my neck’s flushed, my heart’s pounding… Bloody Lewis again, managing to
ruin my day and he’s not even here!

“It is for now, Alex. I’ll call you with an update over the
next few days, bye for now.” She sounds sympathetic as she rings off.

I end the call and notice James is looking at me with a hard
look on his face.

“Are you okay?” he asks, walking towards me and putting a
hand on my shoulder.
Oh that touch, just the very contact makes me feel
weak.

“I won’t say anything,” he says so quietly, looking directly
at me, it’s as if his eyes are looking into me.

I acknowledge him with a nod whilst placing my phone back in
my bag and we slowly carry on up the stairs. I hope the bastard isn’t going to
start messing around now. It’d break me, I’m sure, if he did.

As a result of my slip-up, Shauna and James are the only
people who have any idea of the true extent of what’s been happening, but even
so, they don’t know it fully – although deep down I’m sure Anna must know some
of what’s being going on.  In a way I feel relieved that someone else knows a
little of what Lewis is like. I wish I had the guts to talk to someone, to
unburden myself of the secrets I’ve carried with me for what feels like
forever.

James walks by my side as we continue on back to his office.
He’s right by me and although I hardly know him, I feel protected. Him having
heard one side of my conversation, especially the bit I let slip, makes me feel
obliged to volunteer a little more.

“It’s difficult,” I sigh. “Lewis has been horrible, truly
horrible to me since Anna was born. He practically forced me to give up my job
and then insisted I stay at home as a housewife, which isn’t so bad in itself
but he kept me short of money, only giving me housekeeping, putting all the
accounts in his name, challenging me if I spent more than I did the previous
week…” I pause as we walk along. James just listens, he doesn’t utter a word.

I’m telling this gorgeous man things that I’ve never told
anyone
and yet, despite the fact I hardly know him, he feels so easy to talk to. “He
denied me totally in every other way, maritally speaking, and made no secret of
the fact that he had other women. He used to get nasty if I saw any of my
friends, so I stopped seeing them.” I take a deep breath and compose myself,
holding my hand over my mouth, feeling so heavy inside but determined not to
break down in front of James.

I breathe deeply and carry on rambling. “The only decent
thing about him is that when he could find the time to be home he would help
Anna, you know, with homework, that seriously is his
only
good point.” I
falter, despite trying to compose myself. For the first time since I left I
feel like sobbing, but he’s not going to get the better of me now, no way.
Despite being totally choked, unable to swallow the lump in my throat, I am not
going to break down. I am “strong Alex” now.

We arrive at his office. James turns and looks at me deeply.
“I knew you were divorcing him, I just assumed it was a normal end-of-marriage
thing. I don’t know how any man could hurt a lady.” We walk in silence into the
dull space, just a few steps before he speaks again. “Maybe one day someone
will teach him a lesson, give the coward a taste of his own medicine.” That
deep, husky voice of his as he looks down at his desk.

“Umm. He’s nasty in every way, the worst thing was having
no-one to talk to. With my parents both gone and Anna so young, I’ve never
spoken to anyone about it and I couldn’t bring myself to talk to anyone I really
didn’t know.” I try to justify my reasons for keeping all this to myself.

“You can always talk to me, Alex, I’m a good listener.” His
deep eyes appearing to stare straight into my soul, he smiles softly. Why? How
does he do that look? Why does it feel as if he’s looking
into
me?

I bet you’re a good listener, especially when it comes to
the lithe young things who visit you
, I think. “Mmmm… Can we talk about
this another time?” I’m eager to change the subject.

“Sure, come on, let’s get back to work.” His tone brightens.

“Okay, Bossman.” I sort of half-laugh, trying to lighten the
mood.

“Me, Bossman?” He laughs. “You’re the one who owns this
place!”

“Yes, and you’re the one who makes it bring in money for
me.” I frown. “Remember, James, this place is worthless without you at the
helm!”

He smiles, it really is a killer smile. He’s going to make
some girl really happy one day!

“Anyway, where do you live, James?” I ask, for no real
reason other than my nosy nature and my desire to learn more about the man who is
running this most prestigious hotel for me, not forgetting that I fancy the
pants off him!

“I’m in between places at the moment, my lease came to an
end and I’m looking for a new flat. Sofa surfing for the next week or two,” he
says nonchalantly.

I’m horrified. “Is there a reason that you’re
sofa
surfing
? Don’t you have a room here?”

“I stay here if I’m on a night shift, covering for Robbie,
but that isn’t that often. I like my own place. After I’ve been here for a
while I feel the need to go home, you know, if I stay here all of the time I
don’t think I really get a break. But with the lease coming to the end, well…
I’ve not been able to find anything new. All rents seem to have increased over
the last twelve months, that’s all, just looking for something in budget.” He
seems so indifferent; if that was me I’d be in full-blown panic mode, looking
for somewhere to live.

“Robbie being the Deputy Manager?” I ask. “I’ve never met
him.” Probably because he works nights only.

“Yeah, he likes to work permanent nights, suits me fine, but
if he’s on leave or if he’s doing something one night I cover for him.” He
pauses, organising his desk. “It’s not a bad arrangement, unique to us, of
course, but it works for him and works for me, so there you go!” 

“Oh, I suppose I should meet Robbie at some point,” I throw
my bag down into one of the chairs, “but I want to look at your pay. You said
earlier that Maggie reviewed your salary and I assume it hasn’t been done
because, well, because she died. Can we look at it? This afternoon?” I’m
serious about this now. He distracted me earlier, moved the conversation away
from his pay, but it needs addressing
now
.

“Are you sure?” His mouth curves into the tiniest of smiles.

“We need to. I’m very concerned that the General Manager of
my most important business can’t afford to keep himself housed! I can’t believe
that you said nothing! James, you must tell me if something needs doing or
putting right!” I pause, wandering around his office. “What’s the process you
go through when you’re doing pay reviews? Did Maggie used to sit down with
you?” I need to know this, it’s essential and I hope that the stern look I give
him emphasises this point.

He sighs, possibly thinking of Maggie. “We’d discuss how
things had gone over the last twelve months, what went well, what could have
been done better, you know, that sort of thing. She’d take into account
inflation, but that was across the board, everyone gets a cost-of-living
increase.”

After wandering around his office, I plonk myself down in
the other chair. James has flicked his radio on, the sounds of Calvin Harris
telling me that he
Feels So Close
floods into the room. I sit back in
the leather seat and listen as James roots through his paperwork.

“So, James, where’s your salary information?” I press.

“On here.” He points to his laptop, being deliberately
awkward. Does he not need the money? If that’s the case, why is he sofa
surfing? Doesn’t add up!

I feel like I’m going to have to extract each piece of
information from him slowly, he’s keeping this very close to his chest. “Can
you show me?” 

He taps in his password and turns the laptop to me. I glance
down at the screen and see his name with his annual salary next to it. I’m
horrified, my mouth open. “Is that it?”

He frowns. “It’s okay, not too bad!”

“Not too bad! It’s horrendous. How were you managing to stay
living in London when you’re only earning that? God, James, the departmental
managers earn more than you. Did you never raise this with Maggie?” I am
totally shocked.

“I... I was just so pleased to have a job back home. Besides
which, I’m not badly off. I’ve got some cash of my own, not as much as you, but
I’m okay!” he says.

I huff. I can’t believe that “aunt’” of mine. “That may be
so, but you shouldn’t sell yourself short. What’s the going rate for your job?”
I ask him. He shrugs his shoulders, not wanting to say or I guess more likely
not
willing
to tell me.

Whilst I have the laptop in front of me I Google average
salaries and hotel management, just to get a feel for what the going rate of
pay is. Without spending too much time at all I can see that James is on a lot
less than he should be. It’s appalling. I click around the screen looking at
different sites. James stands, I think he feels a little awkward.

He walks over towards his unit. “Do you want some tea?”

“Please, tiny splash of milk, one sweetener if you have one
and leave the bag in – I like it strong.” I issue my tea-making instructions
quickly, concentrating so I don’t look up. “So, James, truthfully, is salary
the reason you’re sofa surfing? Did Maggie not increase your pay in line with
cost of living for the last… how many years?” I look up at him. “You won’t offend
me, remember that I really didn’t know her that well… If only I had!” In truth
I don’t really know if I now hate the woman or not. Not because she gave me
away, but because nobody told me!

He turns around and looks at me again. “Perhaps.”

“For heaven’s sake, James… Is that the reason?” My tone’s
becoming terse.

“Perhaps.” He smiles at me. I’m not going to win this one.

“Well, it needs addressing.  It’s stupid. I mean, you’re
managing how many staff? You run the place practically single-handed and yet the
bloody housekeeping manager earns more than you!” I am so cross, not with
James, but with Maggie for allowing this to happen.

“There’s a hundred and eight staff,” James interrupts.

“Okay, well, a hundred and eight staff! You need to
remember, James, I’ve been cash strapped, I know what it’s like to have to
justify every penny and it’s not good, it’s not nice and it’s stressful. While
this place is mine and while I can, I want to make sure that my team are happy
in their work, happy to come to work and happy when they’re not at work –
understand?” I pause before continuing my rant. “If it’s one thing I will not,
absolutely not, tolerate, it’s
any
of my team being taken for granted.”
There, I’ve said my piece and am now off my soap box!