Frenched Series Bundle (49 page)

Later that morning, Nick painted the Adirondack chairs while I typed up some of Noni’s stories on her desktop, which reminded me of the kind we used to have in our elementary school classrooms. In addition to the Lupo stories she knew, she talked about growing up on the farm, what it was like to be a teenager during the Depression, and meeting her husband Joe at a USO dance in 1944. I printed a copy of the file for Noni and emailed a copy to Nick and myself—maybe it wasn’t my family, but I felt emotionally invested in the stories somehow.

After lunch, we said goodbye to Noni, and got on the road. It looked like rain, so we didn’t put the top down on the convertible, and sure enough, after about ten minutes on I-75, it began to sprinkle, and then pour. Visibility was so bad, I wouldn’t have blamed Nick for pulling over and waiting out the storm, but he just slowed down and stayed focused.

“Sorry. This ride home might take us awhile,” he said without taking his eyes off the road.

“That’s OK. I’m not in a rush to get back.” Crossing my arms over my chest, I thought ahead to the task I was dreading—a pregnancy test. After we got back to Detroit, I’d leave right from the parking garage and stop at a drugstore on my way home. The thought of taking a test at my parents’ house was pretty cringe-worthy, but I didn’t want to do it at Nick’s apartment either. I wanted to be alone. Maybe I could do it at the Devine Events office.

“Want to talk?” Nick glanced at me briefly.

“Not really…” I rubbed my hands up and down my arms. “I don’t have anything new to say yet. I’m still…working through some things.”

“OK. Do you want to stop at a store on the way home?”

I shook my head. “No. I’ll take care of it.”

He pressed his lips together, and I could tell he wasn’t saying something he was thinking.

“What?” I pressed.

“It doesn’t seem like you should be alone when you take it.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No, I know, it’s not that. I mean it doesn’t seem fair. For you to be alone.”

I studied his profile carefully. His jaw was set at a stubborn angle. “Fair to whom, Nick?”

“To me.”

“You!” My arms flew open. “How is it unfair to you that I want to take this pregnancy test alone? You’re not my boyfriend.”

“Maybe not, but I’m still the potential father. I want the answer just as badly as you do.” He risked a sideways glance at me. “And I want the truth.”

“What!” I exploded. “You think I’d lie to you about this? You’re the liar in this car, Nick. I think we’ve established that this weekend. Thanks for the reminder.” I turned away from him in a huff, crossing my legs toward the passenger door and staring out my window.
Unfuckingbelievable. Just when he starts to get under my skin again, he has to be an asshole.

“Don’t get mad, Coco. I’m trying to be honest here. You know what? Women say they want men to talk about their feelings and be honest, but they don’t really mean it.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I don’t need to hear your feelings when you’re insinuating that I’d lie about something like a baby.”

“Wouldn’t you? Even though you don’t want it?”

“No, I wouldn’t! But you’re damn right I don’t want it.”

Nick exhaled like he was struggling to keep his temper. “You’re trying to hurt me. I get it.”

“Good.” I felt a small victory in getting to him.

A covert glance over my shoulder revealed white knuckles on the steering wheel.

“How many times am I going to have to apologize for the past, Coco?” His tone was aggrieved, as if
he
were the victim of injustice here. “I’m sorry. I never should have done any of the wrong things I did. But it was seven fucking years ago. Can’t we move on?”

“I’m not looking for another apology because you hurt me in the past, Nick. I’m looking for one for what you said to me just now.”

He was quiet after that, and I kept my eyes on the raindrops splattering down the window. All the way down I-75 we sat in icy silence, both of us hurt and angry, neither of us willing to apologize again.

This is why
, I told myself.
This is why it will never work. You’re always going to throw the past in his face, and he’s always going to play the martyr, make you feel like a bitch for holding a grudge.

I didn’t see any way out. And the only thing that could make this worse was a plus sign on that test.

#

By the time we pulled into the parking garage next to Nick’s apartment building, my ire had mellowed. His must have too, because when he asked what floor I’d parked on, his voice was much softer than it had been the last time he’d spoken.

“Fourth floor.” I directed him to where my Volkswagon was parked, and after pulling up behind it, he turned off the engine and put his hand on my leg.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that…about the test. You can take it alone if you want. Just let me know what it says.” He opened the driver’s side door, but I stopped him.

“Wait. I’m sorry too. I know this affects you almost as much as it affects me, and I know you have strong feelings about family.”

“And about you.” He met my eyes. “I love you. And I want you. But I don’t want to live this way— being called a liar and an asshole for the rest of my life because of something stupid I did when I was twenty- two. I don’t want every argument we ever have to circle back to it. I’m not that guy anymore, Coco. I’m not perfect, but given the chance, I know I could make you happy. Tell me what to do to get that chance.”

“I wish I could, Nick. The truth is, I just don’t know.” I felt like crying again but managed to gulp it back. He nodded sadly and got out of the car.

After unloading my things from his trunk, I placed them in my back seat and turned to say goodbye. Nick stood a few feet from me. It felt like a few miles.

“I have to go to L.A. tomorrow. Back Wednesday. Just call me when…you know anything,” he said.

“I will.”

“And take care of yourself.”

“I will.” The tone of sad finality in his voice squeezed my heart.

Taking two steps forward, he kissed me on the cheek. “Thanks for staying the weekend with me. Let me know the details for the party next Saturday. I’ll be there.” Then he walked around the front of the Mercury, looking more morose than I’d ever seen him.

No—there was one other time I’d seen him that miserable, the night I’d broken things off because I thought he’d slept with another girl. The night he’d lied. The night he thought he lost me.

I’d believed that was goodbye forever.

Maybe it should have been.

“What’s it doing?” I sat on the edge of the tub in Mia and Lucas’s bathroom, my hands twisting together in my lap.

Please be positive.

“Nothing yet.” Mia and Erin stood at the vanity, both of them staring intently at the stick, like those people who can make objects move just by looking at them.

Please be negative.

“OK. Tell me when you see anything.”

Please be positive.

“It’s only been like thirty seconds—wait Something happening!” Erin grabbed Mia’s arms, and Mia grabbed Erin’s back. They looked like a 6th grade couple at a middle school dance.

Please be negative.

“Oh, God, you guys. I’m a wreck. What is it?” Getting to my feet, I paced back and forth in front of the tub, terrified of either result.

“Hold on…” Mia’s voice—was it hopeful or wary? I knew she wanted it to be negative.

And what if it was? Would I be relieved or disappointed? Why did I feel like I’d cry either way?

“OK, it’s done.” Erin and Mia looked at each other and turned to me.

“Holy shit.” I felt woozy. I breathed in and out, touched my fingers to my temples. “OK, tell me. Am I pregnant?”

“No,” Mia said. “You’re not.”

“Not according to this test,” Erin added. “But you should probably take the second one in the box tomorrow to be even surer.”

Exhaling, I closed my eyes and let my hands drop to my stomach. Not pregnant. Erin was right, and I would take the test tomorrow, but somehow I knew what Mia said was true. “I’m not pregnant.” The word pregnant caught in my throat, and I struggled to choke back tears. They spilled over anyway. “I’m not pregnant,” I sobbed.

“Oh, honey.” Mia took me in her arms, and Erin wrapped us both in hers. “Are you sad or just relieved?”

“I don’t know,” I admitted as they released me. “Both, I guess.”

“Come on in here. Erin, grab the tissues.” Mia led me into her bedroom, spacious but cozy with its chocolate brown walls and king-sized bed mounded with colorful pillows. Photographs of Paris hung over the bed, and on her nightstand, Mia had a framed picture of Lucas and herself on the top of Notre Dame Cathedral. She sat on the foot of the bed, pulling me down beside her. “Speak.”

“She’s not a dog, Mia.” Erin handed me the box of tissues and sat on my other side. “And let her catch her breath first.”

“Sorry.” Mia put her arm around me and squeezed. “I just hate seeing you this way. And I think talking will help. No more hiding things—I still can’t believe you managed to keep your marriage and divorce secret to yourself.”

I’d confessed the full truth to Erin and caught both of them up to speed before taking the test. “I know. I should have told you, but I made up my mind in Paris to forget he even existed.” I plucked a tissue from the box and blew my nose. “Worked out really well for me, don’t you think?”

“It did, until he came prancing back into your life. He should have just left you alone,” Mia said loyally. “You deserve so much better.”

I shook my head. “It wasn’t like that. I sought him out, remember? He probably
would
have left me alone.”

“I don’t know,” Erin hedged. “If he thought you were the love of his life, I don’t see how he could have stayed away forever. I mean, why even come back to Detroit in the first place? He could have gone anywhere after winning Lick My Plate. Where was he before?”

“New York,” I said. “He left for the Culinary Institute right after I left for Paris.”

“He should have stayed there.” Mia was grumpy about it. “I can’t believe Lucas likes him.”

“Everybody likes him.” I threw up my hands. “I like him, for fuck’s sake. I adore him! We have fun together and the sex, oh my God…” I flopped to my back and moaned in agony.

“That good, huh?” Erin asked.

“I can’t talk about it. I’ll cry again.”

“So why not give him another chance? He said he was sorry, and it sounds like you guys are great together. Seven years is a long time.”

I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at her. “Is that really you saying that, Miss This Is A Very Bad Idea? You’re supposed to be my voice of reason here.”

Erin laughed. “Where’s the reason in holding a grudge for so long, especially against someone who makes you happy?”

“It’s not that easy.” I sat all the way up. “I don’t know why, but I can’t get over what he did.”

“You don’t have to.” Mia patted my leg.

“But wouldn’t you feel better if you did?” Erin persisted. “Who wants to lug around all that bitterness? All that resentment?”

“I don’t
want
to,” I snapped. “But I don’t know how to get rid of it. I was hoping this pregnancy would force me to do it.”

“What?” Both of them stared at me, dumbfounded.

Realizing how crazy it sounded out loud, I lowered my voice. “I was sort of hoping I was pregnant, so that I’d be forced to forgive him and get back together. That way I wouldn’t have to make the decision.”

The looks on their faces told me what they thought of that plan. “Coco,” Mia said, “I love you, but that’s ridiculous. If you want him back in your life, then let him in, but I think we can all agree it’s a good thing you’re not pregnant.”

“No, it’s not!” I jumped up from the bed, whirling around to face them, arms flying. “It’s not. You don’t understand, I needed a sign, OK? I needed the universe to tell me what to do because I’m too messed up over him to think straight! This baby was supposed to be the sign, goddammit! The Fetal Forgive My Asshole Daddy And Get On With It sign! And now there is no sign and I’m back where I started and—stop laughing!”

Mia and Erin were trying hard not to smile but Mia’s lips were smashed together tight and Erin’s shoulders were shaking. “I’m sorry,” Mia said, putting a hand over her mouth. “It’s not funny.”

I gave up the fight, my shoulders slumping. “You might as well laugh. Beats crying.”

“Oh, honey, come on. You don’t need a sign from the universe to tell you how you feel.” Mia shook her head. “You are an emotionally intuitive person. Yes, you tend to act on impulse, but clearly in this case, you’re not doing that. And we’re proud of you. Now what does your heart say?”

Sighing, I dropped back onto the bed between them. “My heart is confused. And scared.”

She nodded. “Love is terrifying. But remember when I called you from Paris because I was scared about how I was falling for Lucas?”

“Yes.”

“Do you remember what you said?”

“’I’m jealous?’”

She laughed, nudging me with her leg. “No.

Well, you might have. But you said everything happens for a reason, and that I just had to be willing to take a chance. I was never one to trust fate, but you helped me give myself permission to fall for him, not knowing what the end result would be.”

“But Lucas hadn’t hurt you in the past. Lucas was perfect,” I grumbled unreasonably.

“No one is perfect, Coco. Lucas has his faults just like anyone, and he’s nothing—
nothing
—like the man I thought I’d marry, but now look at me.” She smiled, her face lighting up. “You helped me see that things don’t always go according to plan, and that’s OK. Life’s full of surprises, right? Now I’m not saying Nick is the perfect one for you, and God knows I don’t like what he did, but if you still love each other after all this time, well…” She shrugged. “That’s a pretty powerful sign, in my eyes.”

“Right.” I took a deep breath. “Maybe I just need a little more time to get used to it…but I do love him, the cocky bastard.” Mia’s wedding dress caught my eye. It was wrapped in plastic, the hanger hooked over her closet door. “God, Mia. I can’t believe you’re getting married next weekend.”

She grinned. “Me neither.” Then she grabbed my leg. “Hey, maybe you’ll meet the man of your dreams in France!”

Erin cleared her throat. “Excuse me, no. I insist that any dreamy man left in France go to me. You two have had your share.”

#

I owed Nick a phone call, but I didn’t want to do it with Mia and Erin around. I’d call him on my way home. Since I wasn’t preggo, we opened a bottle of wine and watched Mia pack her wedding suitcase, oohing and ahhing over her gown—so much simpler than the puffy confection she’d been planning to wear for her first wedding. She’d sold that one on ebay and managed to get enough for it to buy this one plus our beautiful lavender bridesmaids dresses and plane tickets to France, her gifts to us. Erin and I, her only two attendants, had gone in together on a pair of gorgeous strappy, sparkly Jimmy Choo heels for Mia, and we’d had
I DO
put on the bottom of one shoe in tiny blue rhinestones, and her wedding date on the other. We’d also done a little research and had arranged for a day at a spa for the three of us in Provence once Erin and I arrived.

Watching Mia dance around her room, happier than I’d ever seen her, I felt this lovely warm hum beneath my skin. She was going to spend the rest of her life with the man she adored, and she couldn’t wait to get started.

Suddenly I thought of the story from Nick’s family history, about the way his great-grandmother, the little one called Tiny with the red lips, had shown up at his great-grandfather’s house to announce she loved him in the middle of Sunday dinner because she couldn’t wait. I thought about the note we’d found with today’s date on it—really, what were the odds of that? Probably a million to one.

So what was I waiting for? If you loved someone, you should say it, right?

The hum began to build into something more expectant as I realized I no longer wanted to wait either. Even though I wasn’t pregnant, if Nick still wanted me, I wanted him too. I stood up, gripping my empty wine glass by the stem.

“Where are you going?” Erin asked.

“To see Nick,” I said breathlessly. “I have to give him another chance.”

Mia burst out laughing. “You decided that in the last twenty-five minutes? Now that’s the Coco I know.”

Grinning, I hugged her hard and then Erin too. “Thanks, girls. You’re the best. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Have fun!” Mia yelled as I rushed out of her bedroom.

“But be safe!” called Erin.

“I will!” I took the steps down two at a time and headed for the back door. “Hi, Lucas. Bye, Lucas.” I raced through the kitchen past Mia’s handsome fiancée, who’d come home while we were upstairs and was preparing dinner.

“Hi, Coco. Where’s the fire?”

“Grand Circus Park,” I yelled without stopping to look back. I jumped into my car and drove downtown, frowning only once when I realized I was in sweatpants and a Detroit City Distillery t-shirt. My face was sort of puffy and tear-stained too, and I had no makeup on.
Oh, well. If he loves me, he loves me like this.

I pulled into the parking garage next to his building, took the first empty spot I could find, and rushed up to Nick’s apartment. By the time I got to his door, I was panting, elated at the way I was recreating a story from his family’s past. I took a second to compose myself before banging on the door.

Nothing.

I knocked again.

Nothing. My heart rate slowed, and my shoulders fell slightly. He wasn’t home? This wasn’t supposed to happen. The guy has to be home when the girl shows up. Had Nick mentioned he was going out? Maybe he was at the restaurant? I knew how anxious he was about the test, so it didn’t seem likely that he’d just take off somewhere without calling…wait, had I even checked my phone?

I dug in my bag and pulled it out. Sure enough I had two missed calls, a text, and a voicemail message from him. The text said
Hey, please call when you can
. The voicemail message was longer, and more disappointing.

“Coco, it’s me. Listen, I just got a call that my event schedule changed and my agent booked me on a flight to L.A. tonight. I’ll be back Wednesday, but I’ll call you as soon as I can. And listen, I can’t stop thinking about the other thing, so can you please let me know as soon as you can? See you soon.”

Turning around to slouch against the door, I hit delete with more force than necessary, trying not to be too angry over this. After all, Nick was a “celebrity” now and he’d have “events” to do and flights to catch and people in his life that had to come before me. But how annoying that this one had to happen just when I was coming over here to give him a second chance.

The date was today’s date, not Wednesday’s

I was so aggravated I almost didn’t listen to the voicemail from Angelina. But I figured nothing could put me in a worse mood than this, so I hit play and put the phone to my ear.

What she said had me sliding down the door until my butt hit the floor.

“Coco it’s Angelina. Listen, the party’s off. The whole fucking wedding is off. Lorenzo’s a big asshole.”