Â
“Girl, I tell you what you need to do with that little friend of yours,” Netta says, clanking the hot flatiron in the air, ready to run it through Mama's half-pressed hair. It's Mama's standing Tuesday appointment, also the best time to catch her at her wisest, other than when she's cooking. “You tell her the next time some mess goes down, you won't be there for her. Where do you find your friends, girl? At the enemy surplus store?” she says, turning Mama's chair around so it faces me.
With Jeremy not talking to me and Mickey sneaking off campus with Nigel every chance she gets, school has become less fun lately and I've been getting more homework done at school than usual, leaving my afternoons free to study my spirit work and talk to Rah. Last night we got to talk for a few minutes before I went to bed. He's supposed to call me tonight, but I'm trying to be good. It's too easy to give in to temptation when things get difficult in relationships. Mickey and Nigel are the perfect example.
“You and your mama have a knack for attracting the wrong kind of friends,” Mama says, her eyes closed as she holds her head back, allowing Netta to get as close to her scalp as possible.
“My mom has real tight friends,” I say, referring to her homegirls, my aunt Vivica being the closest of them all.
“Yeah, but she's also had some real terrible friends, too.”
“So have you, Lynn Mae. Girl, you could write a book talking about all the haters you had around you back in the day, and still. Girl, women in the church used to pretend to be your mama's friend just so they could get close to your daddy,” Netta says, giving up the good dirt, as usual. “Jayd, your mama used to have more women around her than men back in those days. Now they know better, and so does your mama here.” Mama is surprisingly quiet during Netta's tale. Usually she'd be trying to shut her up.
“Mama, is she right?” I ask, sitting straight up in the drier chair across from Netta's station. I wonder what it's like when her other clients are here. It's always empty on Tuesdays.
“Unfortunately, Jayd, yes, she is. Some people try to be your friends just so they can get something out of you. And those friends are the worst kind of enemies to have because they know you well.” Mama looks unusually weary. This is one of her busiest times of the year, and I know she's tired of dealing with the church folk. And after last night's block-club meeting, I'm sure she's had enough of them to last her for quite a while. Daddy and her have barely spoken two words to each other since she went off on him about some late-night phone call from God knows who. When Mama gets home, I'm sure she'll just want to get in her bed.
“You sound just like my mom in my dream a couple of weeks ago,” I say, recalling my mother's warning about friends turning into leachesâor frenemies, as she calls them.
“Yes, Jayd. Sometimes it takes multiple great minds to come together to accomplish a goal,” Mama says, opening her eyes and looking straight through me. “If you want Nellie back as your friend, you're going to have to stop going at it alone. Where's Mickey at in all this?” she says, bringing up a good point. Mickey's closer to Nellie than Mickey is to me, and she's acting like the girl doesn't even exist. Mama's right. Me and Mickey need to get our friend back and away from Tania's drunken clutches. I can't do it alone.
“She's too busy running after Nigel,” I remind her.
“Oh, that girl's weaving a tangled web,” Mama says. “That gangster boyfriend of hers didn't just fall off the dumb truck yesterday. I hope she knows what she's getting into.” Mama rises from her seat, indicating she's ready to go. Netta whipped her French twist up so fast, if I didn't know better I'd say it was magic.
I don't think any of us knows what we're getting into at the beginning of any relationship, because it all feels so good. The smiles and giggles, the first kiss, the text messages and all-night conversations; there's even a rush when you and your girls hit it off for the first time, like you found your tribe. But now I feel like I'm alone on
Survivor
without a rope to swing from. And Mickey could care less about anyone but herself right now. I'll just have to make her come around to seeing things my way.
“Reality sucks sometimes, and we all have to deal with it, Jayd,” Mama says as we both hug Netta good-bye before heading out the neon-lit door. “You can't live in a fantasy world forever, and neither can your girls. Focus on the outcome and you can change your present circumstances.” She's right. I just have to get Nellie to see that the people around her are a bunch of fakes and that if she's not careful, she's going to end up just like them. And if that happens, I won't be able to help her at all because if it's one thing I can't stand, it's a fake.
7
Fake
“Why are you such a fake?”
âTHE BRAND NEW HEAVIES
S
ince Mama took it down early tonight, I have the spirit room all to myself to study. It's packed in here with dozens of Mama's spirit bags for her Halloween clients and the regulars. I found a couple of unmarked bags in the cabinet next to the spirit book. I wonder who they're for.
“Lexi, you scared me,” I say to our German shepherd, who is walking into the room through the small doggy door in the screen and is almost smiling, like she understands what I'm saying; most of the time, I think she can. It's weird to say, but I think Lexi's eyes are human. I don't even know if that's possible. But if it is, then she's definitely got a pair.
“Well, since you're here, you might as well help me find something to help everyone else come off their high horses and act right,” I say. I realize that's a tall request for one quick potion, but I need something to work, and fast. I want to take advantage of having both break and lunch free tomorrow. Jeremy won't be able to take me home, so I've got to get to him early. And, knowing him, it may take all day for him to come around to seeing things my way.
“What, you don't think I can do it?” Now, I know the dog's not in my head, too. Everyone's got an opinion about how I should handle my relationships. But I've got to start listening to myself, and I'm telling me it's time to take some aggressive actionânow.
“Here we go,” I say, turning to the oils, incense and remedies portion of the book. I've never been all the way back here before. There's also a story about Maman Marie and how she used an intoxicatingly sweet scent called “sweet essence” to make everyone agree with her when she needed to resolve an issue.
“Now, this sounds like what I need,” I say as Lexi plops down on the floor, ready to watch me do my thing. I think she gets a kick out of me trying to be like Mama. I hope one day I can work it like her. But until then, my mimicking will have to do.
“It says that Maman had a legal issue with the courts in Louisiana, saying she didn't report all her income and owed them in back taxes and that she thought her business partner turned enemy was the one who snitched on her. Now, that's the kind of friend no one needs.” Lexi barks in agreement as I continue reading.
“It says here to mix a little Egyptian musk oil, some honey, my favorite sweet perfume, five white rose petals and a few drops of spring water.” Doesn't sound too difficult, and I think Mama has all these ingredients here except for my favorite perfume, Escada's Rockin' Rio, which I left at my mom's house. If I keep it here, I'm likely to never see it again with all the sticky fingers around. I'll just have to use whatever perfume Mama has in the house.
“Now all I need is something to put all this in,” I say as I continue looking through the cramped cabinets for extra materials. There are mason jars in various sizes, all kinds of glass containers, woven bags, cut material, twine and other methods of storing and distributing Mama's products. She keeps it simple and effectiveâjust like her clients like it.
“Here we go,” I say, finding the container full of small glass vials with matching droppers. “This should do the trick. It says here this scent is attractive to anyone who gets a whiff, instantly making them more pliable, and that's exactly what I need all my friends to be right now. Jeremy's unreasonable cold, Mickey's being selfish and Nellie's just plain tripping. It's time for everyone to get on my side so we can all get Tania out of the way. Tomorrow morning I'll start with Jeremy and work on Mickey next. With the two of them working with me, I know I can get Nellie away from the dark side and back to being the brat we know and love.”
Â
After the long bus rides to school this morning, the last thing I'm in the mood for is to be kept waiting, and that's exactly what's happening now. Jeremy has never left me waiting at the bus stop, and he's not picking up his phone. What the hell? Just when I begin to walk up the hill toward campus, he pulls up.
“Hey, sorry I'm late. Overslept,” he says, looking unusually groggy.
“Are you feeling okay?” I say, getting into the car and feeling his forehead. I'm not sure what I'm feeling for, but if cold and clammy means he's sick, then he needs a doctor right now. “What's going on?”
“I don't know,” he says as I close the door. “I woke up with a scratchy throat this morning. And after my surfâ”
“I don't mean to cut you off, but what do you mean after your surf? You still got in some cold-ass water and you already weren't feeling well?” I know I sound more like his mama than his girlfriend, but really, he can't be that stubborn.
“Damn, Jayd, do you know how not to react to anything?” he says, truly annoyed. It's a bright morning, and everyone's enjoying the warm sun. People are watering their lawns and walking their dogs, living carefree while I suffocate in his car.
“Why do I feel like I'm always on the defense with you?” At first, his witty mind is what attracted me to him. But now it's pissing me off.
“You don't have to be anything you don't want to be,” he says, turning into the crowded parking lot at the front of our school. The red and white letters spell out
SOUTH BAY HIGH
,
CALIFORNIA DISTINGUISHED SCHOOL
on the marquee, but it really should read
DRAMA HIGH
. “You're a really defensive person,” he says, putting me again on the stand. But I'm not the one on trial here; Jeremy is.
“What do you mean, I'm defensive?” I say, this time without raising my voice. I think Maman's sweet-essence perfume isn't having much of an effect on him because he's congested. Damn, I should've stuck with the cupcakes. Even though they don't come out perfect, they still get the job done. He expertly parks in one of the tight spaces and turns off the engine. Jeremy takes a deep breath in and one out, turning to look me in the eye. I've never seen him look so serious, not even when he was busted for selling weed on campus.
“Jayd, look, I love your fire just as much as the next guy, hopefully more,” Jeremy says, slightly smiling and revealing his straight white teeth. God, this boy is adorable. Why does he have to be such an ass? “But I can't take this drama every day.”
“What drama?” I say. I know he's not talking about my attitude toward Tania, because that girl deserves all the attitude I've got to give and more.
“What drama? Are you kidding?” he says, amused by my question. “You always have some issue with someone around you. First it was KJ and his girl, and then it was Misty, now it's Nellie and Tania. Why can't you let some shit slide?” There's that mellow beach attitude I don't get.
“Yeah, Jeremy, right,” I say, grabbing my backpack from my lap and opening the door. I need some air. I think this perfume's having more of an influence on me than it is on him. I can't get riled up at him, no matter what he says. I want to, but I just smell too good to get hot.
“I know you think it's not that easy, Jayd, but it is. You don't always have to control everything. Just let people be,” Jeremy says, exiting the car with me. He grabs his backpack from the backseat before closing his door and walking around to my side.
“Is that what you're doing with Tania, just letting her and your baby be?” I say. Any other day that wouldn't have come out as nice as it did just now. Maybe I needed to read the whole story to see how this scent really works.
“Look, baby, the thing is,” he says, pausing to find the right words while putting his arms around my waist; I miss being close to him and I miss the way he smells up close, “I didn't want to hurt you, and I know how vicious Tania can be.” I look up into his blue eyes and see some of the truth but not all. He's still hiding something, but what? Lying is the same thing as faking to me. So if he doesn't come clean soon, we're going to have some issues, and no amount of perfume will help me chill.
“I can handle Tania,” I say as the first bell of the day rings. “You have to learn to trust me.” I accept his gentle kiss. Now that's more like it.
“I do trust you,” he says, but I can hear the apprehension in his voice. What else is going on he doesn't want me to know about? “But sometimes you're going to have to let me trust when to tell you things.” He's right but only to a certain extent. This boy's got a twisted version of how to react to vital situations. He's right about me having a lot of action around me and me wanting to control it. But what am I supposed to do? Just watch while people's worlds fall apart all around me? No, not me.
Speaking of which, I've got to get Mickey to help me with Nellie. Jeremy can call me a controlling person if he wants to, but if I can see a solution to a problem, I'd be a fool not to try.
Â
My first two periods were uneventful, and Mrs. Malone accepted my portfolio, just as I thought. China was in class and let me know she had my back for the AP meetings, leaving me free to launch mission “Rescue Nellie.” I know Mickey and Nigel will probably be posted up on a bench in the Senior Quad, so that's where my mission begins. She's been completely unreceptive to helping our girl out, but hopefully she'll get a whiff of my scent and change her mind.
Â
“Mickey, we need to talk,” I say, snatching her up by the arm and marching her toward the Main Quad, away from her comfy bench with Nigel. I'm almost more sick of the two of them than I am of Misty and KJ. But today they're not making my stomach curl as they usually do.
“Damn, Jayd, what's got your panties in such a bunch?” she says, taken a little off guard at me being so rough with her. But I know she wasn't going to just leave her lip-lock with Nigel on her own accord.
“Look, I'm tired of you acting like Nellie doesn't exist,” I say, immediately causing her to roll her hazel contacts.
“Nellie who?” Mickey says, turning around to return to her comfy bench. But not so fast. I'm not leaving until I get the answer I came for.
“Mickey, don't be like that. She's your girl,” I say, ready to plead my case as sweetly as possible. But if this doesn't work, I'm going to have to put my foot where it doesn't belong to get my point across.
“Was my girl. I don't know who that chick is,” she says, pointing her finger toward the Main Quad where the athletes, cheerleaders and ASB members are sitting. The Halloween Masquerade Ball is starting to create a buzz around campus, and I'm sure they're all planning the affair, Nellie apparently included. “I don't deal with fakes, Jayd, and my real girls know that.”
“Look, there's more going on than just your girl wanting to switch cliques,” I say, hell-bent on getting through to her. As much as I hate to admit it, Mickey's right. At first glance, it looks like our girl has sold her soul to the devil. But I know she's just faking it. Nellie's still our girl inside. “They're holding something over her head, and I need you to help me get through to her. She needs to know we've still got her back; it's the only way to help her.”
“Are you kidding me?” she says, looking from Nellie to me and back to Nigel. “I've got better things to do than deal with some broad who doesn't want to be my friend anymore.” She looks ready to return to her illustrious affair. But I've got one more trick up my sleeve.
“You owe me, Mickey,” I say, stopping her in her tracks.
“Jayd, come on. Do you really want to use your payback for her?” I can admit that Nellie's difficult and a bit hard to take most of the time. But she's a good friend, and I can't leave her to the wolves. She'll never survive.
“At least help me prove that Tania and Reid were behind the locker-room video of Nellie, please,” I say. Nigel's looking impatient, and so is Mickey.
“Why? She won't believe us no matter what we do. She's too blinded by the White green, Jayd; we can't get her into the same circles as her new friends.” For the first time, I can sense Mickey's pain. Nellie hurt her, and she's angry. Why isn't she being real about how she really feels about it?
“Mickey, if you're mad at Nellie, then confront her. She probably thinks you don't care about her anymore,” I say, noticing Nellie looking our way. Our eyes lock, and now I know she misses us like we do her. So why doesn't she just come clean and ditch the bitch crew?
“I don't care. As far as I'm concerned, I don't know anyone named Nellie,” Mickey says, walking away for good. This isn't the way I planned this at all. What am I going to do about the two of them? A couple of weeks ago, we were as tight as my seventh-grade jeans. But now my two best friends are enemies and my boyfriend's no help. Maybe if I can talk to Nigel at lunch, he can help me convince Mickey not to leave our friend out in the cold. Maybe by then my perfume will absorb more into my skin and work a little better, because I'm not satisfied with the results. Maybe it's not working as well because I used Mama's perfume instead of my own. I'm going to have to ask her about it when I get home.