From Best Friend to Bride (15 page)

“I want to hate you right now.”

Those harsh words from such a tiny voice was the equivalent of salt to the wound...a self-inflicted wound. He had absolutely nobody to blame but himself.

Megan eased up, just enough to look him in the eye. “I want to hate you so you’ll be out of my life, so I never have to see you again,” she told him through tears. “But I can’t because no matter how deeply you hurt me, I still love you. Damn it, Cameron, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody. I was prepared to turn down this job in Memphis for you. I was ready to fight for you, for us.”

Her voice shook as she went on, swiping at the tears streaking down her cheeks. “I was ready to live with your dedication to your job. I foolishly thought you could love me just as much, but now I know I’ll never be equal, never be enough.”

Cameron had no clue he’d shed his own tears until he felt the trickle down his cheek. He’d never cried over a woman. Hell, he couldn’t recall the last time he’d cried at all. But Megan was worth the emotion; she was worth absolutely everything.

“Stay,” he pleaded. “Don’t take the job. We can get through this.”

“Can we?” she tossed back. “And how would we do that? You spied on my brother for who knows how long. You watched me from a distance during one of my scariest moments. I think that is enough to prove you’d never put me first, so don’t preach to me about staying to make this work. I’ve been here for years, Cam. Years. I can’t help it if you’re just now ready.”

Megan came to her feet, anger fueling her now if the way she swatted at the tears on her face was any indication. Cameron eased back on the table but didn’t rise. He knew she needed the control, the upper hand here.

“You always said you wouldn’t ever make a woman compete with your job,” she went on. “But what do you think I’ve been doing all this time? I was with you during deployments, during the police academy and your entire law-enforcement career. You think I worried less because we were friends and not married? You think I didn’t play the ‘what-if’ game while you were overseas or if a day or two went by that I didn’t hear from you?”

Reality hit him square in the gut.

“You’re right.” Slowly, he got to his feet. Considering she didn’t back away, he reached for her hands. “You were there for me every step of the way. I didn’t see your angle until now, or maybe I was afraid to.”

Megan fisted her hands beneath his. “You need to go. I’m exhausted. I’ve got to figure out what I can do for Evan, and I need to make arrangements for Memphis.”

The last bit of hope he’d had died as he released her fists. “You’re leaving.”

Megan’s gaze slid to the floor as she nodded, not saying a word. Conversation over.

There had never been such an emptiness, such a hollow feeling in his soul. The bond they’d honed and strengthened for years had just been severed in the span of minutes. He’d known how this would hurt her, but he hadn’t expected her to erect this steel wall between them, completely shutting him out.

Cameron turned, headed toward the back door.

“Did you ever love me?” Megan’s question tore through the thick tension.

Stopping, Cameron leaned a hand on the door frame to steady himself. Not only was he starting to tear up again but his knees were shaking.

“I’ve always loved you,” he told her. “More than you could ever know.”

When she said nothing in reply, Cameron headed straight out the back door. He had to keep going or he’d drop to his knees and beg her forgiveness. But Megan wasn’t in the frame of mind to forgive.

He had a feeling after all he’d done to destroy their friendship and the intimacy they’d discovered, she never would be.

Chapter Eighteen

T
wo weeks later, Evan was still in jail. She’d been able to see him several times and each time she went her heart broke even more. He’d hinted that maybe he’d be getting out soon, but she couldn’t get details from him.

After taking another picture from the wall, Megan wrapped it in bubble wrap and placed it in the box with the other fragile items. Her new job was to start in two weeks and she was moving in to her new rental within days.

The thought of leaving this house that she’d loved for so long had her reminiscing with each room she walked through, each item she boxed up. She’d yet to pack the dragon lamp because each time she passed by the hideous thing, she started tearing up once again.

In the two weeks since she’d last seen Cameron, her emotions had been all over the place. She’d gone from angry to depressed, from crying to yelling at the empty space. Other than during his deployments, she’d never gone this long without seeing or talking to him. How could her best friend since childhood be out of her life so fast? How did she move on without the stability and support he’d always offered?

By sticking to her plans. She would move towns, make new friends and start a new life. And if Evan somehow miraculously got out, he could join her.

Of course, all of that would be in a perfect world, and she knew she lived in anything but.

Tomorrow she’d have the difficult task of telling her clients that she was leaving. She’d really formed some wonderful friendships during her time at the counseling center. Her supervisor was sorry to see her go, but understood, considering she’d been the one to recommend Megan for the position.

Before she could pull another piece of artwork from the wall, the doorbell rang. Glancing around the boxes, bubble wrap and her own state of haphazardness, Megan shrugged. She wasn’t expecting company, though she’d been surprised Cameron hadn’t attempted to contact her again. A piece of her was disappointed and a little more than hurt at the fact, but she’d told him to go and he was honoring her wishes. Noble until the end, that man was.

Adjusting her ratty old T-shirt and smoothing back the wayward strands that had escaped her ponytail, Megan flicked the lock and tugged on the door.

Speak of the devil.

Only he didn’t look like the devil at all. He didn’t even look worn and haggard as she did. Damn the man for standing on her porch looking all polished and tempting. The fall breeze kicked up, bringing his familiar scent straight to her and teasing her further.

His eyes darted behind her, no doubt taking in the chaos.

“When do you leave?” he asked, returning those baby blues to her.

Gripping the door frame, she prayed for strength, prayed to be able to hold it together while she figured out the reason for his visit.

“Next week.”

He glanced down, then back up and sighed. “Can I come in? Just for a minute?”

Said the lion to its prey.

Megan stepped back, opening the old oak door even more to accommodate his broad frame. As soon as he entered, she closed the door, leaned back against it and waited while he continued to survey the room.

“I came to fill you in on Evan.”

He turned to face her, and now that he was closer, she could see the worry lines etched between his brows, more prominent than ever. The dark circles beneath his eyes were evidence he’d been sleeping about as much as she had.

“What about him?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest, resisting the urge to touch Cameron just one more time.

“I’m not supposed to tell you this, so please don’t say anything. This could cost me my badge.”

Megan stood up straighter. He was here as her friend, putting her above his job for once. A piece of the hard shell around her heart crumbled.

“Is he in more trouble?” she asked, fearful for the unknown.

“No.” Cameron toyed with the open flap of a box on the coffee table. “He’s actually going to take a plea bargain. He was offered immunity in exchange for every bit of information he knows.”

Elation filled her. Megan clutched the scoop neck of her T-shirt and sucked in a deep breath. “Thank you,” she whispered, unable to say anything else.

“There’s more.”

She tensed up at Cameron’s hard stare. Whatever the “more” was apparently wasn’t good news.

“He’s going to go into Witness Protection first thing in the morning.”

Witness Protection.
The words registered but not fully at first. Then she realized what Cameron was truly telling her.

“I won’t see him again?”

Shaking his head, Cameron held her gaze for a moment, then looked away as if he couldn’t bear to see her. “I tried to get you in, but that power is above me. I had to fight to get the immunity. He had some stiff charges against him, but since he was a latecomer to the group, we needed the big names he could provide.”

Megan nodded, hating what he was saying but knowing this was for the best. This was the only option for her brother to make a fresh start and stay safe.

“Could I write him a letter or something?” she asked. “Maybe you could get it to him?”

The muscle in Cameron’s jaw jumped. “I can’t.”

Megan pulled in a shaky breath and pushed away from the door. Heading back to her task, something she had control over and something she could concentrate on, she pulled a picture off the wall and tore off more bubble wrap.

Methodically, she wrapped the frame, all the while coming to grips with the new level of pain that had settled deep into her chest.

“If you happen to have something that needs to be said, I could perhaps stop by and tell him before they take him away.”

Cameron’s generous offer hovered between them. After placing the package in the box, she closed the flaps and held her hand over the opening as she focused on Cameron.

“Tell him...just tell him I’m proud of him and I love him.” Megan couldn’t believe she’d never be able to tell him in person again, but if this was all she had, she was going to take it. Cameron nodded and turned to go. Megan stared at his back. Had he only come to deliver the message? Weren’t they going to talk about anything or even pretend to be...what? What could they discuss at this point? She’d thrown him out weeks ago, and she hadn’t extended a branch to him since.

“Cam,” she called just as his hand fell to her doorknob. “Wait.”

Glancing over his shoulder, he raised a brow as his eyes locked on to hers.

Gathering her strength and courage, she stepped around the coffee table and crossed the room to stand in front of him. He turned to face her, but the minuscule space between them may as well have been an ocean for all the tension that settled in the slot.

“Thank you.”

Megan looked up at him, at the man she’d fallen so deeply in love with, and seriously had no clue how she would go on without Evan or Cameron in her life.

“I know Evan and I had our issues,” Cameron started. “But we have one thing in common. We both love you.”

Megan swallowed the tears that threatened. The last time Cameron had been here she’d cried enough to last a lifetime.

“We both want to see you happy,” he went on. “Unfortunately we both had a terrible way of showing it.”

Cameron started to reach out, then stopped. She glanced at his hand, hovering so close, and slid her fingers through his.

“They always say the ones you love the most can hurt you the most.” The feel of his hand in hers sent a warmth spreading through her—a warmth she’d missed for two weeks. “I didn’t know that to be true until recently.”

Cameron’s free hand slid along the side of her face. Megan tilted her head just enough to take the comfort he was offering.

“To know that you did this for Evan means everything to me,” she added. “The thought of not seeing him again hurts, but it’s far better than seeing him through glass. He’ll have freedom and he’ll be able to start over. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for him.”

“What about you?” Cameron’s thumb stroked her cheek, the simple touch sending chills all over her body. “Are you going to start over?”

“That’s my plan,” she muttered. “It’s my only option at this point.”

Cameron’s mouth covered hers without warning. The hungry kiss started so demandingly, Megan had no choice but to clutch at his wide shoulders. Just as she was getting used to being overtaken, Cam lightened his touch, turning the kiss into something less forceful but every bit as potent and primal.

By the time he eased away and rested his head against hers, they were both panting.

“I’m begging you, Meg. Don’t leave.” Both his hands framed her face; the strength of his body covered hers, and the raw words hit her straight in her heart. “I don’t care if I look weak or pathetic. I’ll beg you to stay. I need you so much more than you need me. You’re so strong, and I know you would be just fine in Memphis. But I would not be okay here without you.”

Wrapping her arms around his waist, Megan couldn’t hold back any longer. The dam completely burst and tears she’d sworn never to shed in front of him again came flooding out. Cameron enveloped her, pulling her tighter against his chest as she let out all her fear, worry and uncertainty.

“I know I broke something in you with the choices I made.” His hand smoothed up and down her back, comforting her. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making all of that up to you. Please, please give me a chance.”

“I’m scared, Cam,” she murmured into his chest. “What happens when another big case comes along? What happens the next time you shut me out? What will I do when you decide the job is more important than I am or we are?”

Pulling back, Cameron looked her in the eye. “Nothing is more important than you are. Nothing. I came here expecting nothing from you, Megan. I came here to tell you about Evan, knowing full well that I could lose my job if anyone found out. I don’t care. You are worth every risk, every chance I’ll ever take.”

Megan hiccupped as the next onslaught of tears took over. “I’m a mess,” she told him, wiping the backs of her hands over her cheeks. “Look what you do to me.”

His eyes focused on her. “I’m looking, and I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman in my life. You’re it for me, Megan. I want to marry you and start a family with you. I know that’s a lot to absorb right now, but just stay so we can work this out.”

Megan couldn’t believe what he was saying. He wanted to marry her?

“If you can’t stay, if you’re already committed and cannot get out of the Memphis job, or if that’s really where your heart is, we can buy a place between here and there and we’ll commute.” Cameron kissed her lightly once more. “Just say you’ll give us a chance.”

“How could I refuse you?” she told him, raining kisses over his face. “How could I ever let you go?”

Cameron picked her up and started toward the hallway. “You’ll never have to find out.”

By the time they hit the bedroom, Megan knew she wasn’t going anywhere for a long, long time.