From Burning Ashes (Collector Series #4) (6 page)

“We need to get food and water and some
painkillers for her eventually.” I walked to them. Ryker had
settled on the windowsill, keeping sentry. Sprig sat next to him on
the ledge. Croygen stood nearby. Ryker glanced over briefly, then
turned back to watch the street.

“This is just for tonight,” Croygen spoke,
filling the painful gap between Ryker and me. “Jesus, what’s up
with you two? We just escaped! There should at least be a few
smiles, some cheers…or undying gratitude to me.” He held out his
arms in wonder.

“Undying gratitude?” I lifted my
eyebrows.

“Worship. Adoration. Devotion. I’m open to
any one of your choosing.”

“How about I don’t smother you in your
sleep,” Ryker snipped.

“Or poop on your face,” Sprig added. “Oh no,
forget that. I will probably still do that.”

“That’s the spirit. See, Zoey. They’re
getting into the festive mood.”

I smiled and let myself laugh. Croygen always
improved my mood.

“I’m going to make a sweep around the
building.” Ryker abruptly bolted to his feet, his arm reaching over
his shoulder for his axe, then stopped. A pained scowl crept up
into his features. “I’ll look for a vending machine while I’m out.”
His voice sounded gruff as he slipped by me, heading out with set
determination in his shoulders.

“Wait!” Sprig scrambled after him. “I’ll
help. With the food thing at least.”

Sprig had to work hard to catch up with Ryker
but climbed up his body and settled on his shoulder. Ryker didn’t
respond either way to his presence. He just pushed through the
doors. I opened my mouth to say something, stop him, but nothing
came out as the door closed behind him.

“He’ll come around.” Croygen had sidled up
next to me.

“Will he?” I continued to stare after him.
“Should he?”

Croygen tilted his head.

“The things I did to him, Croygen… How can he
ever forgive me? I can’t forgive myself.”

“He understands you had to do it.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Look what he did to you.” Croygen motioned
to my neck. “He killed you. Well, sort of. And I’m still waiting
for that perpetual devotion and thanks for saving your life.”

I swiveled around to face Croygen. “You did
save my life.”

“Think I just said that.”

“No.” I shook my head. “I meant, if you saved
my life…”

“I am no longer duty bound to you.” A smirk
curved Croygen’s mouth. “You would be right.”

“It’s broken?” My eyebrows shot up.

He stayed silent for a moment before nodding,
and his smile grew bigger.

“But you told Ryker if he killed me, he’d
kill you.”

“I’m too pretty to die.” He cupped his own
chin. “I mean, look at this mug. Be a waste.”

“B-but I died. He wouldn’t have gotten his
powers back if I didn’t.” I rubbed my forehead. We finally had a
moment so I could really concentrate on the energy I still felt
inside. The more I focused on it, the more I could sense it, energy
dwelling deep inside. It wasn’t as strong, but it was there. His
magic still resided in my core.

I tapped at my stomach, my mouth falling
open. “I still have some of his powers. I can feel them. They
didn’t all leave me.”

“Really?” His brow corked up, then bobbed his
head. “Actually, that makes sense. Magic has its own will. Some of
it must have grown devoted to you. Liked its new home better.”

Relief settled into my heart at the thought.
I had the power for a short time but had gotten attached to it.
Once I hated fae, now I hated the idea of not being partly one.

“What I think is some of your human body
died, but the fae magic brought you back.” Croygen’s smile wouldn’t
leave his face. “Either way, I am no longer obligated to either you
or that brute. I’m free.”

“Oh my god.” I threw my arms around Croygen,
hugging him. “That’s awesome. How does it feel, after
centuries?”

He closed his eyes as if he were considering
what I asked him. “Amazing.” He hugged me back.

“You’re free to go.” I leaned back, his arms
still around me. “You can go back to your ship. Get away from all
of this.”

The smile dropped from his face. “I might not
be duty bound, but until he no longer has the urge to kill you, I
should probably stick around.”

“Why? You can get out of here. Nothing’s
keeping you here.”

“Yes, something is.”

“What?”

He turned his gaze to mine, his dark eyes
intense. “You.”

“Me?”

“Whatever you do to us fae men…” He smiled.
“I’m not going to just leave you, Zoey. Not until you and your
sister are safe. It would feel wrong.”

My eyebrows hit my hairline.

“I know. I know.” He shook his head. “This is
a first for me.”

I pulled him into another hug. “You know what
I think?”

“Not sure I want to.”

“You might fight us, even Ryker, but we’re
your family, Croygen, your friends. And deep down that’s something
you want. A place to belong.”

He scoffed.

“Pretend all you want. But you belong with
us. With me.”

The door slammed, and Croygen and I jumped
apart. Ryker leaned against the doorjamb, watching us. His eyes
narrowed. Sprig sat on his shoulder, his neck revolving to the
three of us, his eyes wide.

Ryker’s folded arms and stone face caused my
mouth to blather. “It-it’s not what you think.”

“What do I think?” He stood straight, walking
over to us. Sprig leaped off his shoulder, climbing up on the
window ledge. “I’m curious. Tell me what I think.” Ice started to
form around the wall he set between us.

“Don’t.” My jaw tightened. “Don’t be that guy
again.”

“What guy?” He fastened his arms over each
other, leaning into me. It was threatening.

I would not be bullied or intimidated. “This
guy.” I stepped into his face, poking at his chest. “The asshole
who hated me only because of his fear of feeling, of letting
someone in. We’ve been through too much to start at the beginning
again.”

He bristled. “This is who I really am.” Ryker
lifted his top lip. “I’m a demon, little human, born to hate and
destroy.”

“Bullshit,” I shouted.

“Whoa, you two.” Croygen tried to step
between us, but neither of us budged.

“What do you want from me,
human
?”
Ryker’s nostrils flared.

“I want Ryker back,” I seethed. The tension
filled the little space between us, closing the world down to the
two of us.

“He’s no longer here. He died back on the
table where you cut him up into pieces.”

I sucked in a breath, his hurtful words
hitting home. “You don’t think I hate myself for that? What I had
to do to you to keep my sister alive?” I tapped at my chest. “Every
time I cut into you, torturing you? The game I was forced to play?
The revulsion I feel for myself is infinite.”

“Then multiply that by seven,” Ryker snarled,
inching even closer to my face. “I’m the reason anyone I ever cared
about died. Because of me my adoptive mother, father, my sister,
the girl I loved, my unborn baby, my
real
mother are all
dead.”

His real mother? Right before he killed me,
he had told me his father was Vadik. But he didn’t mention his
mother. Did he learn who she was too?

That came only to six.

“And
you
,” he continued, anger
bursting off his skin. “I destroy everyone
I love
.”

I felt my lungs spasm, a silent gasp choking
my throat. Did he just say…?

“Do you want to hear how good it felt to
sense your life draining away between my fingers? It makes me sick,
but I wanted it like nothing before.” His arms trembled with his
fury. “The desire is still there.” He stared down at his hands as
his fingers knotted into tight fists. He sucked in a breath, shook
out his hands, and stepped away from me.

“But you killed me. I know I was dead. And I
saw you heal. You have your powers back. The promise should be
broken. You fulfilled it.” I watched for his reaction. Nothing.

Croygen’s oath broke by saving me. Why didn’t
Ryker’s end by killing me?

“Can I step in here?” Croygen cleared his
throat, holding up his hand, stepping back into our world. “Like I
said before, maybe some of your human part died, but the fae part
kept you alive. It’s probably why it broke and didn’t break at the
same time.”

“What does that mean?”

“Maybe you didn’t die enough. Or long
enough.” Croygen shrugged. “This isn’t something we know. There’s
not a manual or anything on this. I’m most likely talking out my
ass.”

“Understandable. It’s where your brain is,”
Sprig quipped. We all looked at him. He grabbed his tail and
stuffed it into his mouth.

“You still aren’t doing that right.” Croygen
sighed. “Next time try tying it around your neck.”

Sprig pulled his tail from his mouth like he
was going to speak but then flipped off Croygen instead.

“Guys, back here.” I waved at the three.

“What Croygen said sort of makes sense. I
felt
the powers go back into me. Hurt like a bitch.” Ryker
shifted as if uncomfortable remembering the incident.

That had to be the pain I felt, the magic
being torn from me. But what if it had just been tearing in half?
They were still in me.

“I didn’t get them all back.” Ryker’s white
eyes fell on me. “Some of my powers have stayed with you, adapted
to you. This might be the reason the oath doesn’t feel completely
out of my system.”

My hand drifted up to my forehead, rubbing
fiercely. Why could nothing be easy with us?

“I can feel them inside me, but when I tried
to use them outside of DMG, nothing happened.” Ryker’s lids
narrowed.

“Me too.” Croygen nodded.

My fingers continued to knead my temple. “All
I can think is Rapava has been playing with goblin metal so he can
control fae. I thought it only sedated us, but what if he has
designed it to affect the powers themselves?”

“You mean to keep us from using them
ever
again?” Croygen exclaimed.

“If he can’t actually control fae, what
better way than to at least put them on the same playing field as
humans?” The idea struck me with force. Oh my god, no doubt this
was
exactly
what he was doing. Or seeking to do. “I don’t
know for sure, but I got to understand Rapava’s mind a bit more.
This would be something he would try. While he’s attempting to
create humans with abilities, he would also be aiming to take away
the opposition’s.”

“This doctor is seriously fucked up.” Croygen
placed a hand over his eyes.

“I agree, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t
genius in it,” I said.

Croygen dropped his hands. “True. Look at me.
Screwed up and a genius at it.”

“No, you are just genuinely fucked up,” Ryker
said.

“Oh, right. Keep getting those two mixed up.”
They exchanged brief humor-laden smiles. Then the moment was
gone.

Ryker looked away. “Do you think it will
last?” I could feel frustration rolling off him. What he had gone
through to get the powers back might all be for naught.

“I have no idea.” I shrugged. It felt
horrible knowing they were there, in my grasp, but I couldn’t reach
them. “All we can do is keep trying and hope our abilities aren’t
locked away forever.”

“Well, then nothing’s changed for me. But we
no longer have your powers to count on.” Ryker motioned to Croygen
and me. “And currently we have a girl who can barely walk on her
own, a hoard of people, most with powers, after us, no food or
water, and on top of that a really annoying monkey.” A slight smirk
played on Ryker’s lips.

“Hey!” Sprig stood up on his hind legs. “I
see the truce is over, Viking. Fine. You and the buttmuncher over
there better watch out.”

“Or what? You’ll talk us to death?” Croygen
smirked. “Stick our fingers in honey as we sleep?”

Sprig squeaked. “I would never waste my honey
like that. What kind of sprite do you take me for? It is not to be
wasted on your fingers. I know where those have been.”

“They got lonely. Can’t blame a man.” Croygen
shrugged.

Sprig gagged dramatically, then twisted to
me. “That reminds me…”

“Let me guess. You’re hungry.”

Sprig’s eyes widened. “It’s like you’re
reading
my
mind.”

“That’s the only thing ever on your mind,”
Ryker quipped.

“No, sometimes I think of ways of farting on
your face while you sleep. Or pooping in your boot...” Sprig
drifted off, his hand rubbing his belly. “Do you think there is
anything nearby? I mean, I will settle for a candy bar. Or even a
cookie…oh, Izel’s honey pancakes. They had good chocolate
croissants too. But I always preferred the churr—”

“How about chocolate-covered espresso beans?”
Ryker’s mouth hitched up, his gaze darting to me, cutting off
Sprig’s tirade.

“Oooohhh, yes! I’ll take those too.” Sprig
jumped up and down.

“Don’t encourage him.” I turned to Ryker with
a glare. “Who’s going to deal with him when he realizes you are
only messing with him, and he can’t have any of those things?”

“If I remember correctly, you were the one
who got
enthusiastic
over the espresso beans.” Though his
face held no emotion, somehow just the fact of him looking at me
sent heat rising from my center.

“Will you guys fuck each other and get it
over with?” Croygen groaned, laying his head back.

“I agree with you, swashbutthole.” Sprig
nodded. “Though I warn you, they put fae rabbits and river fairies
to shame.”

Croygen turned to Sprig with surprise.
“Really?”

Sprig nodded dramatically.

“Humm.” Croygen seemed impressed by the
notion.

Ryker’s intense gaze remained on me, but he
gave nothing away as to what he felt. Then he glanced away. The
wall slammed back between us. What had happened to him? What had he
gone through to find me? His jaw clenched as if he could hear the
questions bounding around in my head. He turned, his gaze going
back to the windows. I knew this was his way of saying the topic
was off the table.