From Darkness Won (67 page)

Averella rolled her eyes at Sir Rigil, earning one more deep, hearty laugh from the knight. Then she settled back onto the hard ground. She focused on Gren’s thoughts, curious what she was thinking after Sir Rigil’s honest words.

Heavy sorrow pierced Averella’s heart, bringing forth tears. She closed her eyes and looked through Gren’s. She found herself staring at Bran’s face, barely visible on the other side of the fire. Flame and shadow flickered over his skin. He
was
handsome. But Averella knew now for certain that she did not love him as a woman loves a man.

Tears stung her eyes, but they were Gren’s. Then came Gren’s thoughts.

Cetheria, why did you allow Bran to protect me if nothing was to come of it? If he doesn’t love me, what will become of me and my baby?

Gren?
Averella said.

Gren gasped and lifted her head, meeting Averella’s eyes.
Do not do that without warning. It frightens me.

I am sorry. I only wanted to say, take heart that Sir Rigil does not make Bran’s decisions.

What he said made sense, though. I can see that Bran is still in love with you. What if he decides I would not be a good secondary match?

Why would you want to be anyone’s secondary match? If he does not love you, then he is not the man for you, and you will find another—the right one.

Who else would possibly want me, a widow with child? I have no assets.

Why not Master Poe?

Harnu?

I think him quite charming.
Once she’d gotten to know him better.

You think I should sacrifice a chance at happiness to marry someone practical, like Harnu?

I am only suggesting you consider it.

I will
,
if you consider Achan.

That is different.

Gren huffed a sigh and lay back down.
Why must everyone
but you
make sacrifices, my lady? Why can everyone be willing to love beyond rank except you? In cases of true love, station shouldn’t matter. If it does, then the woman loves something else more than her suitor.

This comment left Averella speechless. For if she loved Achan more than Bran, what did she love more than Achan?

A chorus of howls woke Averella. The chilled air clamped around her body, making her skin feel like that of a plucked bird. She pushed herself up to a sitting position.

The men stood shoulder to shoulder across the cave’s entrance. Between the wide stance of Jax’s legs, Averella could see a black wolf pacing outside.

She jumped to her feet and crept forward to peek over Sir Eagan’s shoulder. Six wolves were outside the cave. Two paced back and forth. The others sat watching.

Averella’s stomach boiled with the threat awaiting them. She whispered in her father’s ear. “What will we do?”

His head turned a fraction until his eyes met hers. Warmth and assurance pushed aside her fear.

Thank you, Father.

He smiled.
That is the first time you called me Father.

Is it really? Ever? Not even before my memory was lost?

The truth shocked you greatly.

Still, it seems I did not conduct myself in a manner befitting a noblewoman these past months. Forgive my coldness.

He took hold of her hand.
Of course I forgive, my dear. And I am sure you did your best.

She winced, feeling undeserving of his kind words.
Are you? Memories have been coming to me these past days, and I am not convinced.

I am sorry your mother chose to keep the truth from you.

Mother keeps many secrets. Part of being a duchess, I suppose. Perhaps watching her politics influenced my own.

Sir Eagan cocked his head.
How do you mean?

From what I can piece together, the lie became so big that to cover it I had to lie again and again, until the truth was so far away it now seems impossible to find it at all, as if it too has gotten lost in the Veil.

He squeezed her hand.
It is never impossible, child. As we have been telling you all along, you must simply choose truth.

She sighed.
You make it sound so easy.

It is not easy, but it will set you free. That, I can promise.

“We will have to fight them, I fear,” Sir Rigil said.

His words brought Averella back to the present.

The wolves.

“Better here, with our backs protected, than on the trail when they can come at us from all sides, separate us,” Jax said.

“Still a half day’s walk to Noiz,” Peripaso said.

“It is a pity we do not have archers among us,” Sir Rigil said. “We could pick them off one by one from here.”

“Duchess Amal could storm them if she could find us,” Sir Eagan said. “But I do not see how she could ever learn our location, especially in the dark.”

Averella took a deep breath. “I could do it.”

Sir Eagan gripped her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Your mother said you are not strong for storming.”

“I am not. That is why you both must help me. I’ll let Mother storm through me as we run.”

Sir Eagan shook his head. “That will not work, Averella. To storm, you must remain stationary, as must your guard. That would mean you and I remain in the cave.”

“Absolutely not,” Sir Rigil said.

“Then no one will leave the cave until I have succeeded,” Averella said.

“If you are weak afterwards,” Jax said, “I will carry you.”

“Thank you, Jax.” Averella looked back to her father. As the highest ranking soldier, it was his decision to make.

He nodded. “Very well. Contact your mother.”

And so Sir Rigil, Bran, and Gren packed up camp while Averella messaged her mother and explained the situation. Averella put her armor back on, and Mother gave instructions.

It will be just like before, dearest, in the forest with the black knights. You must relax and let me be your eyes.

Averella could not imagine relaxing at a time like this.
But I don’t remember what I did before. And didn’t I black out that time? What if that happens again before you can finish?

I need your eyes for only a moment.

Would it be better for you to use Father’s eyes?

No. He is stronger than you. Should you pass to the Veil, he can bring you back. You could not do the same for him.

Sir Rigil, Bran, and Jax stood at the mouth of the cave, swords drawn. Gren and Sir Eagan sat on either side of Averella, each clutching an arm for when she would undoubtedly fall. Noam sat to Sir Eagan’s left, positioned to catch him if he fell in an effort to retrieve Averella from the Veil.

Averella’s hands trembled.

“Do not fear, Averella.” Sir Eagan threaded his fingers with hers and squeezed. “Arman will keep you safe.”

“Thank you, Father. I know I have nothing to fear with you guarding me.”

Are you ready, dearest?

Yes, Mother.

Relax, then, and let me step through you.

Averella lowered the shields around her mind. She focused on the largest wolf. It was simply sitting on the ground, watching, tongue lagging from its mouth. Sounds magnified in her ears now: the padding of the pacing wolves, the crackling fire, the clicking from trees, her father’s breathing.

She felt nothing physical and had no way of knowing if her mother had begun, until the wolf yelped and collapsed. Something inside told her she should rebuild the walls around her mind, but she forced herself to ignore the impulse, to leave her walls down, her mind unguarded.

One of the pacing wolves tripped and skidded to a stop. The other stopped to sniff at his companion and whimpered. As the third wolf fell, an overwhelming peace filled Averella. At first she thought Sir Eagan had manipulated her emotions, but then her soul left her body as subtly as a flutter in her stomach.

She was floating up through the cave’s ceiling, through dark rock that seemed endless, until a glimmer of lights shone in the distance. Noiz, perhaps? It looked closer than ever. She willed herself to float toward the lights, but something snagged her hand. Turning back, she saw Sir Eagan’s transparent body floating beside her.

You must not leave us, Averella. We would like to reach Noiz as a group, and you with your body and soul as one.

Averella took one last longing look at the lights of Noiz and allowed her father to pull her back to the cave.

Your mother knows how to storm better than a thundercloud.

Mother. Veil warrior. Averella wanted to speak with her, but it would have to wait. Her weakness was pulling her toward sleep.

When she woke, Jax was carrying her through the forest. Branches snapped under his heavy footsteps. She could see Peripaso and Sir Rigil before them, moving down the trail. Light danced over the trees from Peripaso’s torch.

Averella clutched Jax’s shirt.

He glanced down on her. “Can you stand, Vrell?”

She looked up into his eyes and nodded. He set her on her feet, but kept a hand on her shoulder. He was so much taller, she felt like a babe with her father as she walked beside him.

They saw no sign of another wolf on the rest of their journey. The lights of Noiz became visible long before soldiers stopped them at the gate on the outskirts of the city. Sir Eagan declared himself, and the soldiers escorted their party through the army’s tents, past a small village, and up a steep trail.

Averella had never visited Noiz, but now she remembered having heard stories of the kings who had spent time amongst the clouds. There were no clouds tonight. The stronghold glimmered on the mountain above. She wished she could see the land, for it was said that the view from Paniyn Gal was a breathtaking sight.

Perhaps another day. Once Darkness was gone forever.

This thought brought Achan’s face to mind. He would surely visit the king’s refuge more than once during his life. How handsome he had looked the day she found him wounded in the forest and tended his arrow wounds.

How like a Hadar he had appeared when Sir Caleb had dressed him for the Council meeting.

And how like a king in those clothes Sir Eli had provided in Mirrorstone. She recalled her anger when Jaira had kissed him. Such a manipulative creature, Jaira Hamartano, trying to steal the throne for herself with magic.

Averella suddenly recalled other women who had been taken in by Achan Cham’s waggish smile.

A pretty red-haired girl in Melas.

Young Yumikak, who had danced with him all evening when their party had visited Berland. The girl had also snuck into his bedchamber to sing him to sleep that night.