From Nanny To Wife (29 page)

"Kiss me again and then we'll talk."

Ryan brushed his lips across hers. "I missed you."

Hope smiled at him as she touched his face. "I missed you, too. Did you just come home?"

"No," Ryan said. "I've been home for a while."

Hope frowned. "Why didn't you come see me sooner?"

"I wanted to eat dinner and put Zoe to bed before I came in here. I'm yours for the rest of the night."

"Really?" Hope drawled. "Why don't you come to bed and we'll talk?"

The look in her eyes made Ryan's heart dip and soar. "Something tells me you have more than talking on your mind."

Hope smirked. "Smart man."

It would have been so easy to lose himself in Hope and forget everything else, but he could not. "Put that thought on hold. I want to know something."

"What is it?"

"What did you and Laura talk about?"

"Maggie told you she called, didn't she?"

"Yes," Ryan said.

Hope pinched the bridge of her nose. "If I tell you will you promise me you won't lose your temper?"

"I-" Ryan ran his hand through his hair. Did he promise her? Would he be able to keep that promise? He eyed Hope for several seconds. "I promise."

Hope took Ryan's hand and clasped it between both of hers. "I was in the middle of eating lunch when the phone rang. I answered it and it was Laura. She was polite at first, asking me how I
was. I asked her rather coldly what she wanted and then told her you were at work. She said she called to talk to me. She went on to tell me that she was at the hospital yesterday where she overheard a couple of doctors talking about you. She listened in and learned about my accident. She wanted to know how I was feeling."

Ryan snorted. "She doesn't give a damn how you're feeling."

"That's what I said to her," Hope uttered. "She claimed that wasn't true and asked me if I needed anything. I told her not from her. She-uh-" She hesitated.

"Go on, sweetheart," Ryan urged her.

"She said she learned that I fell and hit my head. She wanted to know if that was what really happened, or if you had something to do with my accident. I-" Hope broke off gasping. "Honey, you're hurting me."

Ryan realized he was squeezing her hand too hard. "I'm sorry," he murmured, easing up on his grip. "Please continue."

"Are you sure?" Hope asked.

Ryan took a deep breath and tried to calm the anger rising inside of him. "Yes."

"I asked her what she was getting at." Hope nibbled on her lower lip. "She said I knew how your temper can be and that you're dangerous to be around. Her words made me so angry. I told her you're not a violent man and that you would never hurt me."

"Are you forgetting that time in my office when I grabbed you and kissed you so roughly that I drew blood?" Ryan asked.

Hope bowed her head and spoke quietly. "I forgave you for that. I don't want to talk about that ever again. Now where was I? Oh, Laura told me you have me fooled. That there were times in your marriage when she was afraid of you because you would shove her around and hit her."

"I see. " Ryan released Hope's hand and rose from the bed. He turned his back on her and crossed the bedroom to the dresser.

"I didn't believe her," Hope declared.

An image flitted through Ryan's head. Before he lost his nerve he told Hope about it. "It was early in mine and Laura's marriage when it happened. She and I were having an intense argument, I said something that set her off, and she slapped me. I reacted without thinking and shoved her. I wasn't proud of what I did. For the longest time I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. It was that one time, Hope. I never touched her in anger again."

"Come sit back down, Ryan."

He turned to face Hope. "You're not disgusted by what you just heard?"

Hope shook her head. "Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes. Would you like me to finish telling you what Laura and I said?"

"Please."

Hope cleared her throat. "When Laura told me you were abusive toward her I called her a liar. She swore she wasn't lying. She said she was trying to warn me to be careful and that she didn't want what happened to her to happen to me. I should not have married you she told me. It wasn't too late to have the marriage annulled."

Ryan took off his watch and dropped it on the dresser. "She would like it if our marriage was annulled. It would give her a better shot of gaining full custody of Zoe."

"I said that to her. I also told her I wasn't leaving you. We exchanged some more words. Mainly about how you have a difficult time expressing your feelings. I had enough and told her not to call here again. Then I hung up on her."

"I'm sorry she harassed you," Ryan said.

"It's all right." Hope shrugged. "I should've hung up the minute I knew it was her."

Ryan emptied his pockets, dumping everything on the dresser, and then stepped out of his shoes. Striding to the bed, he sank down onto it and gazed at Hope. He raised his hand and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you for defending me."

Hope took his hand and pressed a kiss to his skin. "You would do the same for me."

Ryan slipped his arms around her and gathered her close. He shut his eyes and inhaled her flowery scent. "Hope," he breathed.

"Hmm?"

His heart thudding in his chest Ryan whispered in her ear, "I love you." He felt her tremble and held her tighter.

"Oh, Ryan," Hope said softly. "I love you, too."

"I know you do. I'm sorry it took so long for me to say the words."

Hope sniffed delicately. "It doesn't matter, my love."

Ryan drew back slightly and saw there were tears in Hope's eyes. "Please don't cry."

Hope smiled weakly. "They're happy tears, but if they bother you I know of a way you make them go away. Make love to me."

Ryan's breath caught in his throat. "You just had an accident. I don't want to hurt you."

Hope caressed the nape of his neck. "I think if we take it slow I'll be all right."

Aching to be with her, Ryan slowly lowered her to the mattress.

Chapter 32

The days flew by and before Hope knew it, it was the night before the hearing. Dinner that evening was difficult for everybody to sit through. Worrying over what would happen in court kept them from enjoying their meal. Zoe, who had no idea what was going on, but felt something was not right, looked at the adults with huge eyes. Hope would force a smile every time the little girl glanced her way. The very thought that this could be the last time she had dinner with Ryan and Zoe had Hope on the verge of tears. The only thing that kept them in check was her resolve to stay strong.

"Hope," Ryan said his voice causing everybody to jump. "Why don't you take Zoe upstairs and help her with her bath? I need to talk to Maggie, Gordon and William."

"All right." Hope set down her fork and pushed back her chair. "Bath time, little one," she told Zoe as she stood.

Ryan helped his daughter out of her chair and kissed her head. "Daddy is going to let Hope read you a bed time story and tuck you in. I love you."

"I love you," Zoe repeated.

Hope took her small hand and together they headed upstairs.

After Zoe had her bath, Hope tucked her in and selected a storybook from the bookcase. She crossed the room and settled on the bed. Her eyes aching from holding back the tears she opened the book and began to read. What she read she did not remember. The words were forgotten the second she turned the page. By the time she was finished with the book Zoe was asleep.

Hope placed the book on the bedside table and sat there, watching the child sleep. She reached out and with a trembling hand brushed the hair out of Zoe's face. "I love you, little one. You and your Daddy are more precious to me than anything in this world. I-" She broke off as the tears started to fall. Her shoulders shaking she bowed her head and muffled a sob in her cupped hand.

"Sweetheart," Ryan whispered.

Hope quickly wiped her face on her sleeve and took a deep breath. "Yes?" she croaked.

Ryan took Hope by the arms and pulled her to her feet. He gathered her close and ran his hand up and down her back. "It's going to be all right."

"I'm trying to be strong for you," Hope muttered.

"I don't need you to be strong," Ryan said. "Don't hold back what you're feeling."

His words brought a fresh wave of tears. Hope buried her face against his throat and let them come. "I d-don't w-want to l-lose y-y-you."

"You won't," Ryan assured her.

Hope drew back and gazed at him. "If you have to go take me with you."

Ryan framed her face with his hands and wiped a tear away with the pad of his thumb. "You know I can't do that."

Anger rose within Hope. "You can, but you won't." She gently shoved him away and left the room.

Ryan followed her, waiting until they were in the hallway before he spoke. "That's right, I won't. I love you too much to let you throw your life away."

Hope stormed into their bedroom. "You and Zoe are my life. What happened to for better for worse? Or did you not mean your vows?"

"Of course, I meant them." Ryan shut the door behind him. "Sweetheart, calm down. You could be getting all worked up over nothing. Harvey is a damn fine lawyer. He hasn't let me down yet. Let's just wait and see what tomorrow brings."

Hope sighed heavily. "You're right. I'm sorry for being so emotional." She laid her hand over his heart. "If God forbid this should be our last night together I don't want to spend it arguing with you. I want to spend it in your arms. Hold me, please." She stepped into Ryan's arms and held onto him for dear life.

The courthouse parking lot was half-full when Ryan pulled into it the next day. He located a space toward the front and parked. His eyes glanced in the rearview mirror at Zoe in the backseat and his throat tightened. The tie he wore suddenly felt like it was choking him. The urge to run was strong and he resisted it. Zoe's life was in his hands. He had to do what was best for her.