From Roses To Thorns - Sequel To "From Nanny To Wife" (10 page)

"I was wondering if you were going to come and see me," Alex said to Hope.

"I will leave you two to talk." Ryan kissed the top of Hope's head and then left the room.

Hope gazed up at Alex. His face was pale and he looked tired, dark circles were under his eyes. Her heart ached for him. "There's so much I want to say, but I don't know where to start. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Alex reached for his cup of water and took a drink. "I talked to your doctor. He told me what happened to you. I'm sorry, Hope. I failed you. I should've protected you better than-"

"No." Hope shook her head. "Don't you blame yourself. You did all that you could to keep me safe. I should've listened to you when you told me to run into the house. I don't blame you, Alex. You were just as much of a victim as I was."

"All the same, I'm sorry."

"So am I." Hope cleared her throat and then told him about Laura's death and how Seth was responsible for everything.

"The police better catch the son of a bitch," Alex growled.

"I pray they do and soon," Hope said. "I'm going home. When are they releasing you?"

"On Friday," Alex answered.

Hope nodded. "Promise me that you'll keep in touch."

"I promise," Alex said. "You're not getting rid of me that easily."

"Good. I-"

The door opened and Ryan stuck his head into the room. "Sorry to interrupt, but we need to go, sweetheart."

"All right," Hope said.

Ryan crossed the room and offered his hand to Alex. "If there is ever anything you need don't hesitate to call me."

"Thank you," Alex said, shaking his hand. "Take care of Hope."

"I will," Ryan vowed.

The ride home was an uncomfortable one for Hope. Every time the car hit a bump in the road, she would grit her teeth and try not to let it show that she was in pain. It wasn't an easy thing to do with her leg and the burn on her belly aching. She had a strong urge to snap at Ryan and fought hard not to lose control of her temper. He couldn't help how the roads were.

"We're almost home," Ryan said. "Hold on, I know you're feeling miserable."

"You don't know how I feel," Hope snapped. "No one does." She closed her eyes and took a deep calming breath. "I'm sorry, love."

"It's all right." Ryan removed a hand from the wheel and gave Hope's hand a squeeze. "You can lose your temper all you want. I'm a big boy. I can take it."

"It's not right taking my anger out on you," Hope said. "You haven't done anything to deserve it."

"I wouldn't say that." Ryan turned onto their street. "I feel responsible for what happened. Laura used you to get back at me. If I had done things differently where she was concerned maybe she wouldn't have hurt you."

"It doesn't matter what you did or didn't do, honey. You were not responsible for Laura's actions." Hope's eyes swept over the yard as Ryan pulled into the driveway. Images of what took place two nights ago came back to haunt her and she began to tremble. She saw in her mind Alex fall to the ground…saw the blood staining his shirt… The security light coming on brought her out of her thoughts.

"William must have called someone to come and fix the light," Ryan said, shutting the car off.

"Please hurry and take me inside," Hope croaked her heart pounding in her ears. "I can't be out here."

Ryan quickly got out and hurried around to the passenger side. He opened the door and gently lifted Hope out. Closing the door with his hip, he strolled toward the house. As he reached the front door, it opened and William ushered them inside.

"Welcome home, Hope," he said.

Hope smiled weakly. "Thank you, William. Where is everybody?"

"Maggie is putting Zoe to bed and Gordon is cleaning the kitchen."

"I will take you in to say goodnight to Zoe and then it's off to bed for you," Ryan told Hope, heading up the stairs.

Hope didn't argue with him. The visit with Alex and the car ride home had worn her down. She laid her head on Ryan's shoulder and released a weary sigh. It had been a long day and all she wanted was to get beneath the covers and sleep. In the hospital it had been difficult for her to sleep. She was in a strange place, feeling frightened and alone. Now she was home with Ryan where she knew she was safe.

"Zoe," Ryan said, entering the child's bedroom. "Look who's home."

"Hope," Zoe said, scrambling out from under the covers. She rose to her knees on the bed and then to her feet. Maggie stood close ready to catch the little girl should she lose her balance.

Love surged within Hope as she touched Zoe's cheek. "I missed you, little one. Were you a good girl for Maggie?"

"Yep," Zoe said. "Will you read me a story?"

"Not tonight, baby girl," Ryan answered before Hope could speak. "It's bedtime."

"I'll read to you tomorrow," Hope promised. "I love you."

"I love you," Zoe repeated.

Ryan moved in close so Hope could kiss Zoe goodnight. "Okay, lie down and let Maggie tuck you in. Daddy will see you in the morning."

"If either of you need anything," Maggie said. "Please let me know."

"We will," Hope said. "Good night, Maggie."

"Good night, dear. Sleep well."

Ryan carried Hope to their room where he laid her on the bed. After he switched on the bedside lamp he grabbed a pillow and placed it under her leg. He crossed the room, took a nightgown out of the top drawer of the dresser, and returned to the bed. He went to work removing Hope's sweatshirt and sweatpants. Once her clothing was removed he slipped the nightgown over her head.

"I'm going to need my bandage changed," Hope said quietly. Just before Ryan turned away she saw him grimace. "You don't have to do it. You can go and get Maggie."

Ryan rubbed the back of his neck. "I will do it."

"Are you sure?" Hope asked. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do it. You won't hurt my feeling if you were to say no."

"Sweetheart, I-" Ryan stared at the floor for a moment. "I'm afraid to look at the burn. I know if I look at it I'm going to think of what that sick bastard did to you and I can't bear to think of that."

"You don't have to explain, love," Hope whispered. "Go and get Maggie."

"No," Ryan said firmly. "I'm going to do it. I won't let you go through this alone. Now Maggie told me she picked up the antibiotic ointment and bandages for you while she was doing her errands. I think she said she left them in the bathroom. Let me go wash my hands first."

"Okay," Hope said.

Ryan came back a minute later and perched on the side of the bed. Hope eyed him through lowered lashes as he gently peeled the bandage off. The look of horror that crossed his face when he saw the burn made her want to cover herself up. Feeling vulnerable, she closed her eyes and prayed for it to be over soon. She felt the cold ointment touch her warm skin and shivered.

"Are you cold?" Ryan asked softly.

"Yes," Hope muttered.

"I'm sorry," Ryan said hoarsely. "I'm trying to hurry."

Hope heard Ryan take a shaky breath and she gazed up at him. His eyes were bright with emotion. Shocked she watched a tear escape and slide down his cheek. She tried to say something and found she was speechless. She had witnessed him angry, happy and sad, but never had she seen him cry. A lump formed in her throat and she fought back her own tears.

Ryan finished re-dressing the burn. He stood, covered Hope with the blankets, and turned out the light. "I'm going to take a shower. I won't be long."

Hope wanted to call Ryan back and comfort him. Instead she held her tongue. She knew what he wanted was some time alone, time to pull himself together and get control of his emotions. Now all she had to do was get control of hers. Swiping a tear away with the back of her hand, she sniffed and told herself that she needed to be strong for Ryan and for Zoe.

Ryan slipped beneath the covers, ten minutes later. Hope, who was still awake, turned her head on the pillow. The scent of his shampoo surrounded her and a calm feeling came over her.

"I missed lying next to you."

"I missed it, too," Ryan said. "The bed felt empty without you." He kissed her on the temple. "You need your rest, sweetheart. Go to sleep."

Hope did not need to be told twice.

Chapter 14

"Daddy."

Ryan glanced up from the book he was reading and gazed at Zoe. She was standing in the doorway with Bob at her feet; a sad look was on her face. He closed the book and placed it on the end table next to him. "Come here, baby girl."

Zoe ran to Ryan and climbed onto his lap. She settled in the crook of his arm.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Hope's crying," Zoe muttered.

Ryan pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "She's sad. When you're sad, don't you cry?"

"Yeah."

"Something really bad happened to her and its going to take a little while for her to feel better," Ryan explained. "Don't worry. Everything is going to be all right."

Zoe laid her on head on his shoulder. "I'll color her a picture."

"I think she will like that." Ryan cleared his throat. "Baby girl, there's something Daddy needs to tell you. Look at me."

Zoe raised her head and looked at him. A curious expression was on her face.

Ryan saw a little of Laura in the child. It made what he had to tell her even more difficult. Knowing it needed to be done, he took a deep breath and let it out. "Mommy is dead. That means her body stopped working. She's not breathing anymore and she can't feel, or hear, or eat, or do any of the things we can do. She had a severe accident and her body just couldn't work anymore."

"Will I die?" Zoe asked wide-eyed.

"No, baby girl," Ryan quickly assured her. "People normally don't die until they are very old. We're going to be here for a very long time. Is there anything you want to ask Daddy?"

"No," Zoe whispered.

"It's okay to be sad about Mommy and it's okay if you're not sad." Ryan reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you. Hope loves you. We're here to take care of you. If you have any questions, you can come to us. Okay?"

"Okay," Zoe said.

Ryan gave her a gentle squeeze. "Why don't you go work on that picture for Hope?"

"Can I use my paint?" she asked.

An image of Zoe covered in paint from head to toe came to mind and Ryan hesitated. "Sure," he finally said, setting her on her feet. "Run along now."

"Come on, Bob," Zoe said to the dog as she raced to the door.

Ryan rose to his feet and followed her from the office and down the hallway. She went into her room and he entered his and Hope's bedroom. Hope was sitting up in bed, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue. The sight of her crying tugged at his heartstrings and made him feel useless. He made his way to the bed, sat down, leaned forward and kissed her on the jaw.

"I had a nightmare," Hope croaked. "I was back in that tiny room, feeling helpless and afraid."

"Oh, sweetheart." Ryan placed his hand over hers. "What can I do? Tell me what to do."

Hope brought a hand up and touched Ryan's cheek. "I know this is difficult for you, love. You're used to fixing things, but this is something you can't fix."

"I would give everything I have to trade places with you," Ryan stated.

"I know you would," Hope said. "Let's talk about something else."

Ryan nodded. "I told Zoe about Laura's death."

"Good," Hope uttered. "She needed to know."

"I told her Laura had an accident." Ryan grimaced. "I couldn't tell her what really happened."

"You did the right thing." Hope fussed with the blanket. "Do you know when the funeral is?"

"No," Ryan told her.

"Honey-" Hope paused. "Maybe you should go out of respect for-"

"No," Ryan growled. He got to his feet and moved away from the bed. "I want no part of it."

"Ryan, she used to be your wife," Hope pointed out. "She was the mother of your child."

Ryan whirled around and glared at Hope. "Giving birth to a child does not make you a mother. A mother is someone who loves and takes care of her children. You are Zoe's mother. Laura was just a donor. I know it seems like I'm being cold, but it's hard to feel anything more than anger for a woman who planned for another woman to be kidnapped and tortured."

"I won't mention the funeral again," Hope told him.

"Thank you. I-"

"Mr. Kendall," William said, knocking on the open door. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but a Michelle Hilton is here to see you."