Frozen Barriers (10 page)

Looking up from Aspen’s soft eyes, I say to Dave, “If I’m going to go through hell and back again, at least it’s going to be her I’m doing it for. Call me crazy, but I’m going all in on this one. I just hope luck is on my side.”

“You’ll have no problem getting to hell; you’ve seen her mother. That’s not going to be easy to get through, but for some reason, I think you’ll handle her better than anyone. She’s totally not going to be into you for a status fuck, but if you are going to go to battle for a girl, at least it’s one as smoking hot as Emily. Best of luck, man. You’re gonna need it, but I’ll have your back if you need me.”

“Thanks. Somehow I have a feeling I may just need you for support in the not so distant future.”

“Whatever you need, man. Now, enough of this relationship sappy shit. Let’s find me some hot chicks on TV wearing little to no clothing, preferably with large tits.”

“Here, take the remote. Find whatever you want. I’m heading to bed. I’ve got a long day tomorrow. Just, please, whatever you do,
do not
whack off on my sofa!”

“Hey, I only did that once, and it’s not my fault you happened to walk in on me at the wrong time!”

“Really? You brought back one of the strippers from Promiscuous to give you a private show in my living room, and that’s called the ‘wrong time’?”

“Dude, she was willing to do it for free. Who was I to say no?!”

“Oh my God, how are you even my best friend? I’m going to bed. C’mon, Aspen. Leave Uncle Dave to himself, so he can have his
alone time
.”

“Damn straight. Hey, Jeremy…good talk.”
“Thanks, man.”

The following morning I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock going off before the sun peeks above the horizon. Stretching my arms up over my head, I roll my legs out from under my nice warm goose down comforter and trudge my way into the kitchen. Turning on the coffee maker, I turn to get dressed for practice while the machine warms up. Coffee is my lifeline these days. Waking up at five in the morning to make it to Boston for practice four days in a row is starting to wear on me, so I can’t function without my liquid caffeine.

I throw on my warm-up pants and lycra top before stepping back into the kitchen to pull my travel mug down from the black open-faced cabinets above the stove. I push the
Brew
button and then proceed to brush my teeth and fix my rat’s nest I called hair last night before going to sleep. I smell the faint aroma coming into the bathroom of the freshly brewed coffee and already my eyes are widening.

I shove my gear into my bag, toss my phone into my purse, throw on my sneakers, and lastly, take a quick mental check that I have everything before heading out the door. I swing my bag over my shoulder, while grabbing the coffee mug and car keys in one hand and a granola bar in the other. Making my way down the stairs, I pop my trunk to my Audi and toss in my bags. Getting into the car, I hit the button for the garage doors to open as I slowly start to back out. As I’m about to drive off, I see my mother opening the front door to the main house, waving me over.
Sigh.
Petulant woman. She can’t even walk over to my car. I drive the short distance to the house and roll down the passenger window to see what on Earth she wants now.

“Good morning, Emily. I trust you know that today during practice with Suzy that a group of photographers from the
Boston Globe
will be by to ask you a few questions about the upcoming season and the Nationals.”

I glance at her like she has three heads, and then it dawns on me that I never checked my emails from her yesterday. Every week on my day off she sends me my schedule. It normally stays the same; however, I never gave it a second thought, and with a major season quickly approaching, I should have remembered.

“I’ll take that as a no, Emily? We’ve got too much at stake this year for you not to take this seriously. I spend all day ensuring your schedule properly consists of adequate training as well as significant PR coverage. Your father donates enough to make sure you are seen and reported as being the next top contender for a gold medal. Remember that you not only have to represent Cameron and Dean, LLC, but also this country.”

Rubbing my face with my hands, I look up to see my mother staring at me with her calculated thoughts before placing her hand inside the door and grabbing the fluted glass filled with orange juice from the foyer table.
Nice try, Mother. We all know you slipped an added substance in there.
Manipulative bitch!

Just as she’s closing the front door, I hit the button to roll up the window. I hear my phone chime in my purse, as I’m about to throw the car in drive. Who the hell is texting me at 5:30 in the morning? It’s probably my mother requesting I bring home more wine for her to go comatose on during dinner. I’m pretty sure once I moved out of the main house, Mother and Daddy stopped speaking and now basically remain married simply for the social status and image of the perfect family in the skating world. How did I get so lucky?!

As I look at the screen, the name that appears completely takes me by surprise.

Heading up 93 toward Manchester. If you’re up, know I am thinking about you. No, I’m not a sappy wuss, but a song was just on the radio and it made me think of you.

I realize I’m driving on the same highway, just in the opposite direction. I see what’s left of the stars in the sky as the sun begins to sneak over the horizon. Turning on my Bluetooth, I say “Jeremy” loudly as my phone registers my voice over the speaker. I hear it ringing, ringing, ringing.
Come on. Answer.
I know he has his phone on, or has he already made it to wherever he’s going?

“Hey, there.” A deep voice fills the air in my car.

“Hey, good morning. What was the song?”

A slight chuckle comes over the speaker. “Oh, just a song by The Fray. It was stupid, really.”

“Oh-Kay,” I slowly draw out. I’ll remind myself to look up their songs later since he doesn’t want to talk about it. “So, what are you doing up so early?”

“I’m heading up to Manchester to get started on my conditioning skills because someone told me yesterday that I’m supposed to be in shape. Wonder who that could have been?” I start giggling in the car. “Now, there’s a sound I can never get tired of hearing, although I am a little shocked.”

“Shocked? Why are you shocked?” Did he not want me to call him back? Maybe he’s had time to think about the whole situation with all of us being friends and realizes it is a bad idea. I’m still not convinced this is a good decision, but I called him, so I’ve already started this potential train wreck.

“Well, you see the last time you said you’d call was eight years ago. When you texted me last night and said you’d be in touch, I thought for sure I’d be waiting another eight years. But, Em, I’m happy you called. It’s nice to hear your voice on what could only be described as the most boring drive north ever.”

“Jeremy, I really am sorry I never called you. I just never knew it would hurt you more than me staying friends and then disappointing you down the road. I hope you understand it was just easier not to have me in your life then. The same can be said now, but I’m willing to try because you asked me to.”

“No, Em, I’m sorry. That’s never going to happen.”
What the hell?
Is he attempting to give me a headache this morning? First, he says he’s willing to fight for me, then he’s thinking about me and waiting for my call, and I actually tell him I’m willing to try to see if this can be real. Now, he’s telling me no. I’m totally confused, and I guess I’ll just let him be and maybe he’ll call me at some point. No, hell no!

“You know what, Jeremy? I was willing to give you a shot, and now you’re telling me no? At what point did I misconstrue your words between yesterday and this morning? You did say you wanted a
date
. Tell me, dammit, because I’m confused as all hell right now.” I’m not sure at what point that boldness in me all goes to shit, because the next thing I hear is him laughing hysterically. “What the hell are you laughing at, you ass?”

“Em, I’m laughing because you clearly took my words out of context. When I said no, I meant it was not easier for me to not have you in my life then. It’s certainly never going to be easier now if you did the same thing. So, no, it’s never going to happen. I said you’re worth fighting for, and I’m damn well planning on doing that, and you aren’t going anywhere. Got it?”
Sighing with embarrassment, I reply, “Oh…umm… yeah, I got it.”

“So, are you off to training in Boston?” he asks as I hear him shuffling something on his end of the line.

“Yeah, I’ve got a four-hour session with my coach, and someone is coming over to the rink for an interview. I guess my mother sent me the information yesterday, but I never checked my email, so she was less than happy with me this morning before leaving. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it when I get home.”

“I’ve got a few things going on this afternoon, but if you want some company, just let me know. Sue mentioned she was possibly hanging out with Courtney later, too. I’m sure given how quickly you needed to get to
yoga
yesterday, Sue would want to catch up further, and just so you know, I didn’t mention the kiss, but I think she suspects something.”

“Jeremy why would she
suspect
something?” I grumble over the speakers.

“Oh, I don’t know. I might have mentioned something about me not kissing and telling, and then I might have told my friend Dave, who has a very big mouth and is close with Sue, so umm…yeah…tonight…”

“Jeremy!” I scold.

“…I’ll consider that a definite maybe on meeting up tonight…”

“Jeremy! I could kill you right now.”

“…Oh, would you look at that…Gotta go, Em. I’m at the rink…Hey, great talk…Call you later…”

“Jer-”

The sound of a dial tone is the only thing I hear. Oh my God. I want to kill him for saying anything. A first kiss is one thing when it’s private, but it’s another thing to have him tell his closest friend and insinuate it to Sue. I feel sick, but now is not a good time to be sick to my stomach. I nibble my granola bar and sip away at my coffee to hopefully calm my anxiety before I arrive at the rink.

One day. It took only one day for someone to completely uproot my structured life, and I have no idea if this is good or bad. All I know is the sun is rising, and the sky has turned a bright red. Now, I’m no sailor, but I believe the old saying is “Red sky in morning, sailor take warning.” Well, ahoy, Captain! I read you loud and clear. My day is about to go bad quickly; I just know it.

Quickly hanging up from my morning phone call with Emily, I can’t help but notice the smile plastered across my face in my rearview mirror. She’s trying, and that’s all I can ask for right now. No one has ever pushed her to break out of her shell. Calling me and hanging out with us is probably the first real shot she’s had at friendship outside of the skating community. I’m proud of her for taking that step, but a part of me keeps saying she’s going to break my heart one way or another.
She’s worth the fight
. I keep telling myself this mantra over and over. Please don’t let me be wrong again.

I wasn’t lying when I told Emily that I was at the arena. Although it was fun teasing her about Sue having an idea that something happened with us. The truth is she’s only just slightly suspicious. Knowing Sue, she’ll push me until I tell her the entire story. I can’t say I’m going to lie, but she’ll be one more person working on my side to help push through Emily’s nearly impenetrable walls that she guards. Once those start to crumble, I may just have my chance at what I lost all those years ago.