"Notice
I said different. I didn't get into one being better than the
other, because I don't think that's the case, but they are
different. In some things the difference is minimal, in others it's
like snow and bare rock."
The
Guadel didn't give her student a chance to interrupt. "Women
never forget, but the Goddess made them capable of forgiving. Men,
on the other hand, almost never forgive, but are blessed to be able
to forget."
"That's
stupid, why would she make them forget instead of being able to
forgive like we can?"
Mistress
Bell smiled again. "To us, of course, our way of being seems
superior, but I think that there are reasons for the differences."
Jain
shook her head in confusion. "I don't understand the purpose
to something like that."
The
Guadel looked away for a second, and there was pain on her face
when she turned to Jain again. "Sometimes duty requires that
terrible things be done to ensure that worse things don't take
place. Forgetting in those instances, even if the forgetting takes
years, can sometimes be easier than trying to forgive yourself when
the memories of the hurt you've caused are always fresh and vivid."
Jain
slowly nodded. "I suppose also that there are things that
shouldn't be forgiven, and a man could lend strength there where we
otherwise might forgive those unworthy."
Mistress
Bell squeezed Jain's hand. "That is right, but without the
forgetting, they'd carry around every little slight we'd ever done
them, never able to let them go. Always remember, my child. Men are
different, but it's a difference that lends them strength just as
our difference from them lends us strength. Try not to be too hard
on your young man; his forgetfulness stems, at least in part, from how
he is made, and not solely from neglect, like you might otherwise
think."
##
Va'del
knew it was dangerous to pace in the darkness, but he couldn't quite
stop himself. It was a compulsion, like fingering the two
partially-worked gemstones that were his only legacy from I'rone's
family.
I
wish Jasmin was here. She was female, but she was easy to talk to.
I could have asked her what I did to make Jain mad.
The
teenager had long since lost count of the number of laps he'd made
around the cavern, one hand on the rough wall, the other at the
pouch hanging from his neck, when the soft sound of footsteps
finally heralded Jain's arrival.
Va'del
rushed to apologize before Jain could say anything. "Powers,
I'm so sorry for whatever I did wrong. I didn't mean to make you
mad."
Jain
remained silent for a second, and then suddenly there was a
softly-glowing ball of light in the center of the cave. In the
light, Va'del could see tears that matched his own sliding down
Jain's cheeks.
"No,
I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have let something so
little bother me. I was worried that you wouldn't be here tonight,
that you'd decide that I wasn't worth the headache of trying to keep
happy."
Va'del
reached out and pulled Jain into a hug, amazed by the fact that her
thoughts had so exactly mirrored his own. "No, never. I was
worried that you'd feel that way about me though. What did I do?"
"Yesterday
was my birthday."
Va'del
felt his heart skip a beat.
Powers,
she did say something about it being in the fourth month, I just
forgot about it. I don't even know today's date. I'll have to find
out from someone else so I can write down her birthday and not
forget next year. I don't even have anything to give her.
As
Va'del opened his mouth to apologize again, he had an idea. Fumbling
at the cord around his neck, he pulled the pouch out from under his
shirt and selected the larger of the stones by feel alone.
"I...I
want you to have this. For your birthday. I'm sorry I didn't
remember yesterday."
Jain
took the glittering ruby from Va'del and seemed to stop breathing
for a second. "No, I couldn't."
Va'del
tried to close her hand around the stone. "It was Jasmin's.
It's partially worked. It really belongs with someone who can turn
it into what it was meant to be. You're the only one I would want
to work on it."
Jain
shook her head. "Va'del, she was your favorite. I know you
loved all three of them, but I can tell that she was your favorite.
I couldn't take that from you. Keep it and remember her. I know
that you don't have anything to give me. I should have thought
about the fact that you don't even get the small stipend that the
candidates get."
Va'del
tried to protest, but Jain deftly placed the stone back inside his
pouch and tucked the warm leather inside his shirt. "It really
just means a lot that you'd be willing to give it to me."
Va'del
meant to protest, to insist that she take it, but then Jain's soft
lips found his and he became unable to think about anything other
than their warmth.
It
was Jain who broke the kiss as suddenly as she'd initiated it.
"I'd better go. I'll see you as soon as I can sneak away
again."
The
ball of light disappeared as Jain fled the cavern, and Va'del sat
alone in the darkness for at least a cycle, trying to understand what
had just happened and how Jain could go from being so angry with him
to so happy in the space of a few cycles.
On'li's
headaches had become increasingly worse with each new set of bad
news that had arrived at the Capital over the last several weeks.
Mar'li had exercised her little talent in an effort to heal them
away, but they were caused by nothing more sinister than worry, and
consequently returned almost as fast as the younger woman finished
healing them.
On'li
walked past the privacy turn into their rooms and gingerly lowered
herself into a chair. Mar'li saw her sister-wife rubbing her
temples again and opened her mouth, probably to offer another
healing, but On'li waved her quiet with a wry smile. "I'm
fine. It hurts of course, but the cycle or two reprieve you could
buy me just isn't worth the exhaustion it would cost you. It is
only a matter of time until we either find the base these
Powers-be-cursed bandits are operating from, or Ja'dir's people
figure out who to apply pressure on down in the lowlands to ensure
that they are called back and put on a leash. Or hanged. Lowlanders
seem to favor hangings."
"I
don't understand why we haven't been able to find them yet."
On'li's
laugh was bitter, but she was long past trying to maintain any kind
of pretense with her sister-wife. "You, me and the entire
Council. We know these mountains better than anyone. Before this I
would have said that there wasn't another group of people in the
entire world who could even survive this high up for an extended
period of time. These animals aren't just surviving, they are all
but bringing our civilization to a grinding halt."
Mar'li's
eyes got a little wide, and On'li mentally cursed herself for
letting so much of her anger show. "I'm sorry, dear heart. It
just seems like things can't get any worse and then they do. We
lost three Guadel families, so we started sending them out two at a
time to walk the circuits, only to see a food convoy with a Guadel
family and no less than six guardsmen ambushed and killed."
Javin
looked up from the corner where he was cleaning his weapons. "The
defender can never be strong everywhere, not unless they have the
attacker completely outclassed."
On'li
nodded. "I tend to agree with you—we'd be better off worrying
about increasing the number of people we have out hunting these guys
instead of continuing to increase the size of our escorts. On the
other hand, we can't really afford to lose very many more shipments
of food or people will be starving. Only the very oldest
settlements are completely self-sufficient. The rest of them
wouldn't last more than a month if food shipments stop completely."
Mar'li
looked so forlorn that Javin put away his weapons and went over and
hugged her. "It's not all bad news."
On'li
took the hint and switched gears to the few things that were moving
along positively. "That is true, Va'del is currently the top
student in half his classes, and in the top three or four in the
rest. He's advancing at an incredible rate under Fi'lin's
instruction, and in a year or so will be able to not only outfight
all the current guardsmen, but half of the Guadel as well, at least
when they're unaugmented."
Javin
released Mar'li and walked across the thick, red rug to pour tea for
both his wives. On'li accepted with a nod of thanks despite the
fact that it was her second already for the day.
At
least Mar'li didn't try and protest that she doesn't deserve one as
well. She works every bit as hard as anyone else in the Capital.
"The
Guard is a positive spot as well. We've had more part-time
guardsmen than expected volunteer to move to full-time. Of course,
that places more pressure on the various tradesmen who are now
losing apprentices or journeymen. The various guild masters are
screaming, but it dramatically increases the number of people we can
send out hunting in the short term, and does so much more quickly
than training them up from scratch."
Mar'li
nodded, smiling tentatively as she started to relax again. "What
will you do with all those guardsmen once this is all over?"
Javin
and On'li shrugged at the same time. "Nobody is quite sure
yet. Some of them may decide that they want to go back to their
trades, but there will no doubt be a group that doesn't. A few
ideas are already under consideration, though. We could send them
down a little ways to hunt. Snow leopard pelts are worth almost as
much as gems, and any meat they brought up would also help ease the
cost of their upkeep."
On'li
stopped for another sip of tea and finally felt herself relaxing
slightly. "Ja'dir seems to want to use the extra men as a kind
of mercenary force for the lowlanders. He thinks we can help keep
the brigands down there under control in return for some kind of
consideration from the petty lords who claim to rule the area."
Mar'li
tilted her head to the side for a moment. "Why is Ja'dir so
interested in what happens in the lowlands?"
On'li
shook her head, but it was Javin who answered.
"Power."
"Javin's
right. He's a diplomat. The more dealings we have with them the
more power and influence he has on the Council."
"Even
though it violates centuries of isolationist tradition that has kept
us safe from the wars and plagues down there?"
Javin
nodded. "Even if it exposes us to all of that."
On'li
didn't blame Mar'li for looking lost in the face of Ja'dir's
ambition, but unlike her sister-wife, she didn't have the luxury of
hoping that someone else could stop him. She reached out and pulled
Mar'li into a hug.
"If
we can just come up with a way to stop these bandits, it should go a
long ways to nullifying his power base."
##
Jain
shifted uneasily in her chair across from Guadel On'li. It wasn't
unheard of for one of the Council to develop an interest in one of
the Daughters as they neared the completion of their education, but
it wasn't a common occurrence.
It
is more likely that she called me here because I'm in trouble. I
haven't done anything big enough to merit censure from the Council
though. Even if they know that I've been sneaking out for months
now it would be something that my instructors, or possibly the
Mistress of the Daughters, would handle.
On'li
finally finished conversing with the messenger who had been in the
room since before Jain had arrived, and waved the man out. Before
turning to Jain, the Guadel frowned in concentration for a second.
"There,
now nobody can eavesdrop on us. No doubt you're wondering why I
asked you to come by this afternoon."
Jain
nodded cautiously. "I appreciated your invitation to dinner,
but was surprised when you called for me again so soon."
On'li's
smile was nearly as disarming as the few Jain had seen Mar'li
dispense the night of the dinner, and she found herself relaxing
almost despite herself.
"You're
not in trouble, if that's what you're worried about. You seem to be
Va'del's best and only friend, and I was hoping you could give me an
idea of how he is doing. I don't want you to feel like I'm trying
to pressure you to reveal any confidences, but there is only a
limited amount of inquiry that I can make to him or his instructors
without being seen as taking too much of an interest in him."
"But
Mistress, you and your family are practically his sponsors. Who
would take offense at your taking an interest in him?"
On'li
sighed. "It's that 'practically' that's the problem. The
simple fact is Va'del isn't sponsored, and there are parts of the
Council that don't ever want him to be sponsored. We've managed to
get him into the classes that the candidates are taking, but if we
proceed too quickly we risk reversing all of the progress we've
made."
Jain
knew she didn't understand enough politics to really comprehend
everything On'li was telling her, but she trusted the older woman.
It was all too easy to believe that there were people who didn't
want Va'del to be a full candidate.
"It's
so unfair. He fights better than any of the others his age and more
than a few who are older. I think his studies are probably about
the same-he probably thinks rings around the other boys, but he's
too quiet to say the things that would prove he was ahead of them."
On'li
nodded. "You're not far off there; luckily his instructors are
largely sharp enough to realize that he's absorbing their material
at an incredible rate. I've considered asking you to prod him
towards being more assertive in his classes, but am not sure it's
the right course. I think he's already made enemies of all the
other boys who are going to hate him. Making them look stupid
shouldn't make them like him any less, but I can't be sure. It's a
tricky line we're trying to follow. Anything you can tell me could
help prove he should be here."