Fuel the Fire (30 page)

Connor motions to my phone and mouths,
Theo?

I nod, pressing the speaker button.

Theo says, “Look, I’m exhausted. The board finally approved what you wanted last night, and this morning it’s all about to go to shit.”

They signed off on the new CCB labels.
It’s a win I can’t celebrate yet. My head is reeling. “What do you mean?” I find myself touching my sapphire necklace, just like my mom would finger her pearls. I stop immediately, a gross taste in my mouth.
You’re not like her, Rose.
I smooth my airy black skirt and roll up the sleeves of my white sweater, hot all of a sudden.

 “You and Connor were photographed inside an adult store. It’s front-page news this morning on all the tabloids. One of the older board members wants to switch his vote. He’s already called an assistant to go into your office and shred the contract on your desk.” I don’t ask how he’s heard this.
He’s a shadow,
I remember. He hears things. “I thought you had a good idea, Rose. I really did. It would have worked, but no matter if you seem to still hate this new design, he’d rather not have
Calloway
attached to the product at all.”

My throat bobs. “This isn’t anything new,” I snap. “I have sex tapes. How does walking into an adult store change my public perception?”

“Your sex tapes aren’t really a hot topic right now. You being a new mom and your fashion style—that’s why the board believes women admire you and why you have a lot of fans. He’s worried this photo will begin to jeopardize your current image.”

He thinks I’ll lose my fans.

Well, if my fans love me for
me
, then they’d stick around after this photo. This isn’t even incriminating, but they’re saying it is for someone who designs baby clothes.

Theo continues, “All the other board members are keeping their votes the same. He’s more conservative, and unfortunately…he’s the swing vote.”

Translation:
You’re fucked, Rose.

But Theo called me for a reason. He thinks I still have time to fix this problem. Maybe if we sign the contract before his assistant destroys it, the man will concede. Loren will tell him that it’s done and to move on.

This is how we win.

“Don’t you live five minutes from Hale Co.?” I ask hurriedly. “Get to the office and fax me that contract.” I pause, needing to add a larger threat. “If you don’t make it there before the other assistant, you’re fired.”

 “I’ll sincerely try my best.” His sincerity causes a wave of guilt to slam into me.
No.
I am a warrior that must take casualties.

We both hang up.

Connor stares at me, his brows raised as I scroll the
Celebrity Crush
website on my phone. “He’s sickeningly nice,” I tell Connor. “I honestly thought it was a ploy.” Maybe I still do.

“It could be,” Connor tells me. I don’t hear the concern in his voice, and I wonder if he’s pacifying me. In one breath being honest and in the other trying not to worry me.

I need a roadmap to people’s true intentions. It’s all way too confusing.

My cellphone screen blinks with answers.

The first headline:
[EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS] Connor Cobalt & Rose Calloway spotted at a Sex Shop! Look what they bought!

In addition to the picture of me dangling licorice panties, Walter Aimes snapped photos of Connor checking out. The photographer said he was done taking pictures before this, but clearly not. Maybe he hoped we’d do something out of the ordinary.

Thankfully, Connor only bought a bullet vibrator rather than the anal plugs, which he’ll purchase later. He mentioned that bit of information when we left the store. To prepare me, I’m sure.

I dazedly sit on the edge of our bed, and Connor sinks down beside me. He reads the article over my shoulder.

“Thanks,” I say, “for buying the vibrator.” Like hell did I want the world to know that we’re having anal sex. We may have lost the majority of our privacy, but there are a few things I’d like to keep between us.

Connor rubs the back of my neck. “Bien sûr.”
Of course.

I log onto Twitter and check my notifications, curious to see how the world is handling this news.

@CeleryHair:
@RoseCCobalt Waiting for your sex toy line to come out. Obvs that photo is research. Imma right?

@PoPhilly4Life:
@RoseCCobalt You’re a goddess. Seriously love that you don’t give a shit about being caught shoppin 4 sexy things with your bea *heart eyes*

@LilyHaleLOVE2:
@RoseCCobalt
You should ask Lils for some sex toy advice. Seems like she knows whats what. Just sayin.

@LindsayL453:
@RoseCCobalt You’re a fame whore and a slut. Worse than all your sisters combined.

I loved that last tweet. If I can take any of the heat off Lily and Daisy, I’ll gladly withstand the flames.

I send out a tweet:
there’s no fear in pleasure #Coballoway

The hashtag is the name that fans use to designate Connor and me. It’s just easier than saying Rose plus Connor, and I like how it sounds.

I scroll through my feed, and notice a flirty Twitter conversation from Ryke and Daisy, tweeted yesterday.

@daisyonmeadows
:
You know whose scar is as big as my scar now? *wink wink* @meadowsryke

His scar from surgery. And her scar from the Paris riot.

I’m used to these types of conversations between them since we’ve been on Twitter for a while now.

@meadowsryke
:
@daisyonmeadows mine is bigger

@daisyonmeadows
:
@meadowsryke prove it ;)

I imagine their texts are ten times dirtier than this. I check Instagram quickly, noticing that Connor posted a photo this morning.

We always post pictures of each other, so I’m not surprised that he uploaded one of me in bed, the sheet covering my lips and only my smoldering eyes exposed. He took that right after he quoted Steinbeck. I ended up glaring like this, and he immortalized the moment.

Among thousands of comments, most are positive. I glance at a few negative ones:

Your wife looks like she wants to kill you.

I would hate to wake up to that in the morning #crazychick

That’s when you take an axe to bed!!!

They’ve added a variety of knife and devil emoticons that Loren would find funny.

“People will always speculate,” Connor tells me, rising off the bed and stealing my attention. I’m reminded of Connor’s own tactics of manipulation. Ones I never used.

“If you were in my position, would you have slept with the board member?”

He runs a hand through his damp hair, smoothing it back. “No,” he says resolutely. He opens a dresser drawer. “I don’t do that anymore.” Because we’re together.

“Before I was in the picture,” I rephrase.

He pauses. “It would have depended on the circumstance and the variables in the equation. I never jumped into bed blindly.” So he’s saying
maybe
. It would have to be the path with the highest benefit in order for him to choose it, and he’s telling me that sex isn’t always the answer.

“Was it easy?” I ask.

“Yes.” His voice is even-tempered, his expression even more so. He removes his towel, giving me a view of his toned ass before he puts on navy boxer-briefs.

I watch him walk to the closet, and he disappears inside. I follow him there, rolling down the sleeves of my sweater.

“How was it easy?” I question, wanting answers all of a sudden. “I can’t imagine you willfully getting on your knees, blowing someone without it being difficult.”

My husband loves the control, thrives on it. I can’t picture him stripped of his dominance during sex. Even when I had him handcuffed on his birthday, he was still incredibly alpha.

Connor steps into a pair of khaki pants. “Dropping to your knees doesn’t take much effort.”

“I’m not talking about the physical act.” But he knows this. He’s just stalling.

He finishes putting on his pants and turns to me. “I know what you want me to say. That it took this huge emotional toll on me. That inside I’m
wounded
.” Antipathy drips from the last word.

“I don’t want you to say that,” I reply softly.

“Then what do you want?”

“The truth,” I shoot back, hostility suddenly spiking my voice. “Just the truth.”

He nods. “Truthfully,” he says, “it was easy, Rose. And I know you can’t fathom that because it would never be easy for you. But that’s because I didn’t marry myself.” He reminds me, “If I wanted to be with someone a little more like me, then we would never be together.”

My shoulders sink, realizing he’s right. I can’t wrap my head around emotionless sex. I can’t pick apart my feelings to accurately understand. I probably never will, and I have to be okay with that.

“Thank you,” I say honestly. We didn’t need any games this time. I just simply asked and he offered. It wasn’t as fun, but it was nice.

My phone rings on the bed. I rush out of the closet to answer it. The minute I click
speaker phone
, Theo says, “It’s faxed. You need to sign and fax it back to me while I’m at the office. As quickly as you can.” He hangs up without another word.

I walk very fast to the office on the first floor and pluck the contract from the machine, paper clipping the pages, signing my name in the appropriate places. After highlighting the lines where Loren needs to sign, I switch my mission to tracking him down.

Once I have his signature, I can fax them back to Theo, and I’ve won.

I ascend the stairs to the second floor. My quick steps slow when I near Loren and Lily’s room. Muffled moaning sounds filter through the hallway. “Yes…yesyesyes!!”

 No. No, no,
no.

[ 28 ]

ROSE COBALT

Lily gasps and repeats Lo’s name in orgasmic succession. I refuse to let their crazy sex drive ruin my goals.

Without a single knock, I surge into their darkened room, deep-red curtains pulled shut, and I force my eyes on the target. I try not to engrain Loren’s position on top of my sister, mid-thrust, her legs spread open around him.

I need to bleach my eyes after this.

His bare ass is in complete view, the champagne-colored blankets bunched at the edge of the bed.

“What the fuck?! ROSE!” Loren screams angrily. Lily lets out an embarrassed yelp and starts slapping Lo to climb off her.

I charge ahead, pretending like they’re fully clothed and not in the middle of screwing. Yes, I would scoop out his eyeballs and burn them if he did this to me. But I have no time to waste, and they literally could be fucking for the next four hours. I’m not waiting for them to finish.

I extend my arm with the contract and hold out a pen. “Sign, please.”

Lo’s entire face sharpens, shooting me the signature Hale death-glare that tries to slash my resolve. I don’t cower, not even for a second. This means too much to me.

“Get the fuck out,” he sneers. “Ride on your broom back to where you came from.”

 I swat his bare shoulder with the contract. “
Sign.
This isn’t a joke. I have minutes, maybe seconds, before I lose this.” The desperation must be clear in my voice. His broiling anger turns down a notch, his amber eyes shifting off me and back onto his wife.

Lily has frozen underneath him, her hands pressed to her face as though she can hide. Loren finally moves off my sister, and she shrieks, “LO!”

He tosses a nearby red suede blanket on her, covering her from sight, and then he sits up and faces me. Still entirely naked. He’s trying to force me out of his room by sheer embarrassment, on my part. I suck in a sharp breath.

I’m not caving.

I lock eyes with him, never looking down at his genitalia. I will not call his penis by any other name than proper scientific terms.

 He snatches the documents from me and flips through the papers. “Jesus Christ, how many pages are there?”

“Ten,” I say. “Just sign where I highlighted.”

He shoots me a look like I need to find my missing brain cells. “I’m not going to sign something that I haven’t read. In fact, I need to call my lawyer to look over these too.”

That will take forever. “It’s a standard contract,” I explain.

“Shouldn’t you have learned from your last mistake?” He means when I didn’t have a lawyer look over the contracts that Scott gave us for the reality show, and in effect, he legally owns sex tapes of me.

This is different. “It’s been in the works for months. I’ve even helped Daniel draft these.
Please
don’t be responsible right now.”

He gapes. “Do you hear yourself? Who the fuck body-snatched you in the middle of the night?” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why I’m surprised after all the weird things you’ve been doing. Like yesterday?” He gives me another
what the fuck
look.

I go rigid. “You saw the article?”
Already?

“Ummmm,” Lily starts to say something, but her voice is stifled beneath the blanket. Gradually, she pulls the suede fabric down. Her eyes emerge and then her nose, slowly her mouth. I’m staring at her like
hurry up.
And Lo looks at Lily like he’s seconds from fucking her again.

“There are online stores that sell those things,” Lily tells me. “You don’t have to go out publicly to buy them.”

“I’m not ashamed,” I say, a little too forcefully…it implies that Lily is—and I didn’t mean…

She reddens. “You shouldn’t be.” She nods as though breathing in this reality that she wants to own too. I didn’t want to make her feel bad for shopping online. That’s a great alternative.

Lily clears her throat. “But I just meant that the more Connor and you do these things in public, the more the media has been asking us about you two. We always thought you liked your relationship out of focus. Even while filming
Princesses of Philly
, it was more about Lo and me.”