Authors: Janet Evanovich [~amp]#38; Charlotte Hughes
Theenie handed Wes a glass of water. He gave a huge sigh and popped the pill into his mouth, but it was so large he had to swallow several times to get it down. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. “What do I owe you, Doctor?”
Doc chuckled as he snapped his black bag closed. “Not a thing,” he said. “I stopped practicing veterinary medicine a long time ago.”
Wes looked up in disbelief. “You’re a veterinarian?” He turned to Annie. “You called an
animal
doctor to treat me?”
“He was close by,” she said defensively.
A clatter sounded from the top of the stairs leading into the kitchen. Wes looked up. “What was that?” he asked.
“I didn’t hear anything,” Annie said quickly.
“This house is haunted,” Destiny said, drawing a gasp from Theenie.
Wes just looked at her.
Doc shook his head. “Well, I’d better get back to what I was doing,” he said. He started for the door with Annie on his heels. He paused suddenly. “Wish I could remember what I was doing.” He shrugged. “Oh well, it’ll come to me eventually.”
“Don’t forget your bag,” Theenie said.
“Ooopsie-daisy, can’t leave that behind.” Doc took the bag. “It’s tough getting old,” he told Wes. “My mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be. Take care of that head now. I don’t want to have to put you down.” He chuckled as he walked out.
Annie watched him go. In the backyard, Erdle was picking up branches. She gave a hopeful sigh.
“I hope I’m not as forgetful as Doc when I get old,” Theenie said.
“You
are
old,” Destiny blurted, and then covered her mouth when the woman looked hurt. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to say that. I didn’t sleep well last night, what with that spirit on the loose.”
“You’re beginning to scare me,” Theenie said.
Wes turned to Annie. “You let a crazy, senile veterinarian treat me?”
“He’s not really senile,” she said. “He’s, um, forgetful. I don’t think he’s crazy, either. He was just kidding about putting you to sleep.”
“That’s good to know.”
She offered him a tight smile. “Well now, it looks like you’re stuck with us for a while. At least until we’re sure you’re going to be okay. How about I cook you something to eat like Doc suggested?”
Wes shook his head. “No thanks.”
“Then I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee,” Annie offered. “Like Doc said, you don’t want to go to sleep.”
He gave a grunt. “Lady, I wouldn’t think of closing my eyes in this house.”
Annie had just put on the coffee when the doorbell rang. She hurried to answer it and was surprised to find Jamie Swift standing on the other side, her dog, Fleas, beside her. “Oh, crap.” Annie had forgotten they were supposed to meet that morning.
“Nice to see you, too, Annie.”
“Sorry. It’s been a bad morning.” She stepped aside so Jamie could enter, and then closed the door behind her. She suddenly noticed that her friend didn’t look so good. “What’s wrong? Are you ill? Are you having second thoughts about getting married? That’s perfectly normal, you know. A lot of brides and grooms get cold feet. Getting married is one of the most stressful events in our lives, even if you love that person deeply.” She had to pause to catch her breath. It was the spiel she often gave brides.
“Do I really look that bad?” Jamie asked.
The last thing Annie wanted to do was hurt her friend’s feelings. Again. “Oh no, it’s just—”
“I’m on a diet,” Jamie said. “I’m so hungry I could eat dirt.”
“Let me make you something,” Annie offered, then wished she hadn’t. She did not want Jamie to meet Wes Bridges and have him recount the morning’s events to her, and his belief that Annie was a threat to society.
Jamie shook her head. “I
can’t
eat. I have to lose seven pounds before the wedding.” She groaned. “I’ve never really been on a serious diet,” she confessed. “Fleas and I live on double cheeseburgers, butter pecan ice cream, and my first true love: doughnuts.”
“Uh-oh,” Annie said. “Having trouble fitting into your wedding dress?” Annie knew Dee Dee Fontana, Max’s sister and Jamie’s soon-to-be sister-in-law, had insisted on flying Jamie to New York to meet her designer, a Frenchman who created gowns for the rich, the famous, and the royals.
“I fear facing that dress,” Jamie confessed. “Although it is absolutely gorgeous, the material clings to every curve and is unforgiving of the slightest weight gain. And I’ve been so anxious about the wedding and leaving the newspaper for my honeymoon that I wasn’t paying attention to how many doughnuts I was eating.”
“Would you like to go over the menus at another time?” Annie asked, hoping they could reschedule.
“I’ll be okay.” Jamie glanced about. “Um, should I have left Fleas in the car?”
“He’s safe,” Annie said. “I put Attila-the-cat out earlier.” Annie couldn’t help but smile at the homely bloodhound Jamie had inherited when she’d purchased an old pickup truck. The dog had been part of the deal. Annie patted his bony head. “How are you this morning, handsome? You look a little sad.”
“That’s his woe-is-me look,” Jamie said. “Since I’ve been on my diet we haven’t had any
i-c-e c-r-e-a-m
in the house.”
“Poor baby,” Annie said to Fleas.
“Then yesterday he caught me sneaking my
s-u-i-t-c-a-s-e-s
from the attic. You know how he gets when I
l-e-a-v-e
him.”
Annie nodded. “Okay, let’s go into the dining room. Would you like something to drink? Or maybe some carrot sticks?”
Fleas slid to the floor, covered his eyes with his paws, and gave a mournful sigh.
Jamie shook her head. “No thanks. Vera has been force-feeding me carrot and celery sticks for two days. She won’t even let me have cream or sugar in my coffee.”
Annie chuckled. Sixty-year-old Vera Bankhead was Jamie’s secretary and assistant editor. The fact that she was a strict Southern Baptist did not stop her from carrying a loaded Smith & Wesson .38 in her purse, which she had been known to use. “Well, you certainly don’t want to cross Vera.”
“I almost prefer her shooting me point-blank to eating another raw vegetable,” Jamie said.
Annie led Jamie into the large dining room, and they took a seat at the long table, a custom-built replica of an 1820 Imperial Extending Table, only this one was adorned with bronze and gilt, as was most of the furniture in the house, with the exception of the kitchen, which had been added on long after the house was built. Numerous leaves could be added to the table so that it could accommodate thirty people. A massive Regency gilt-wood mirror almost covered one wall, reflecting light from the chandelier. On the opposite wall, a large bowfront sideboard held Annie’s grandmother’s fine silver and china. As a young girl, Annie had thought the dining room one of the most spectacular rooms in the house.
Until she realized that the deep red walls, black and red velvet draperies, and naked cherubs painted on the ceiling were not exactly tasteful. Not to mention the silk tapestry of women in highly suggestive poses. Unlike her mother, who considered it tasteless and downright disgraceful, Annie had learned to take it in stride.
Except for the large marble, phalliclike sculpture that had been placed beside the graceful free-floating staircase in the foyer. Annie had been twelve years old when she’d asked her grandmother why anyone would want a carving of a man’s
thing
in the entryway.
The elderly woman had chuckled. “It’s art, dear. And it’s been in this family for many years.”
Annie had broken a cardinal rule when, after her grandmother’s death, she’d packed the sculpture and had it carried to the attic.
Annie noted the amused look on Jamie’s face as she took it all in. “Are you sure you still want to get married
here
?” Annie said.
Jamie looked surprised. “Why wouldn’t I? You have a reputation for putting on the finest weddings money can buy.”
“Yes, but the guest list doesn’t usually include senators, heads of state, and tycoons. Some people might find the house, um, offensive.”
“If that were the case, you wouldn’t have so many people wanting to marry here.” She sighed. “I just hope none of the guests talk,” she said. “I have never seen a man more determined to avoid the press than Max.”
“People have a right to their privacy,” Annie said. “Even celebrities. And Max shouldn’t have to deal with TV cameras and newspaper reporters on one of the most important days of his life.” She reached for a manila folder that was simply labeled:
H. Wedding
. Thankfully, it was quiet in the kitchen. “By the way, how is Max?”
“He’s working hard to tie up loose ends before we leave for the honeymoon, which he still insists on keeping a surprise.”
“Everyone is talking about the new polymer plant he’s building,” Annie said. “It’s going to create a lot of well-needed jobs in this town.”
Jamie nodded. “And hopefully save the lives of a few motorists. It’s the same material that was used to build Max’s car. He and a NASA employee experimented for a couple of years to make the product more durable, and I can tell you it’s stronger than steel. A leading car manufacturer is anxiously awaiting the first sheets to come off the production line.”
“You must be very proud of Max,” Annie said, and then grinned. “I know it’s a little soon to ask, but have you talked about starting a family?”
Jamie’s smile suddenly drooped.
“Uh-oh, wrong thing to ask,” Annie said, wishing she could take it back.
“I’m scared, Annie. Terrified. I don’t know anything about being a wife; what on earth would I do with a child? I don’t even know how to raise this dog. I mean, look at him,” she said, pointing to Fleas. “He has no self-esteem.”
As if trying to prove her point, Fleas managed to look even more pathetic.
“Take a deep breath, Jamie,” Annie said. “It’ll be okay.”
Jamie sucked in air.
“Like I said, you’re just having pre-wedding jitters and that’s perfectly normal. And nobody says you have to have a baby. Oprah Winfrey doesn’t plan on having kids, and everybody
adores
her.”
“Yeah, but I sort of want a family,” Jamie said.
Annie suspected as much. Jamie’s mother had left while Jamie was still in diapers, and her father had not been able to fill the gap. “So take your time and stop stressing over it,” Annie said. “You’ll know when you’re ready.” She laughed. “I mean, good grief, Dee Dee’s going to have a baby in how long?”
“Three weeks. But she doesn’t count, because Frankie has hired three nannies.”
Annie chuckled. Frankie and Dee Dee were well liked in the community because of their eccentricities and fun-loving nature. A retired wrestler, Frankie had turned his attention to politics the previous year when he suspected the local government was corrupt. He’d called on brother-in-law Max Holt to help him look into it, and they’d found more than they’d bargained for. In the end, Frankie had emerged a hero and won the mayoral election hands-down.
Annie suddenly remembered the injured man in the kitchen; she needed to get down to business. “Let’s concentrate on one thing at a time,” she said. “You’re marrying a great guy who’s madly in love with you. The fact that he’s drop-dead gorgeous and filthy rich is only the icing on the cake. And speaking of cakes—” Annie pulled out a picture of the wedding cake Jamie had selected, a French pound cake with Grand Marnier buttercream frosting. It was simple yet exquisite. “I’ve been thinking,” she said. “Since you’re planning on white tea roses for the wedding, how about I tint the frosting on the cake off-white and place some of the rosebuds on top for decoration? That sort of thing is real popular now.”
“Sounds beautiful.”
“Great.” Annie hurried on. “As for the menu, I typed up everything we agreed on so you and Max can look it over in case you want to make any changes.”
Jamie reached into her oversize handbag and pulled out several envelopes. “I’ve received the last of the responses to the wedding invitations, so we’re looking at about fifty guests. I hope you know that Max and I cut the list to the bone,” she added.
“I can easily accommodate that number of people,” Annie said, having hired someone to knock down the wall separating the den and oversize study when she needed the space for various businesses that held monthly meetings there. It also served well for small weddings. “I’ll situate the tables near the walls in the ballroom so there will be room for dancing,” she added. Annie hoped she could do something about the water damage before the wedding. “Okay, what’s next?”
“Oh, wait; I forgot to mention that Max’s parents can’t make it. His mother had a mild heart attack several days ago. She’s getting out of the hospital tomorrow, but her doctor wants her to stay close to home. So you can scratch their names from the list.”
Annie made a note to herself. “I know Max will be disappointed.”
“He is. But he wasn’t that close to them while growing up. His cousin Nick and his wife, Billie, practically raised him.”
“Moving right along,” Annie said, hoping they could wrap things up, “the minister will be here early in case you or Max would like a private moment with him. The photographer is all taken care of, and the flutist and harpist will play before, during, and after the ceremony, at least until the band starts. Well, it’s not really a band, just a three-piece ensemble.”
“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do when I get here,” Jamie said anxiously.
“That’s what the rehearsal is for. No change in number of people for that?”
“Nope.”
“The florist will arrive a couple of hours early, so we’ll have plenty of time to decorate.”
“I just hope I fit into my dress,” Jamie said grimly.
“You will. Any questions?”
“I think that covers it.”
Annie checked her wristwatch. “Oh, look at the time!” She stood, hoping she didn’t appear rude but knowing she needed to check on Wes Bridges, who was probably on the telephone with his lawyer that very moment.
Jamie stood as well. “I need to get back to the office anyway. By the way, how is Destiny settling in?”
“Theenie and I really like her. She’s hilarious. Perhaps
outrageous
is a better word.”
Jamie laughed. “Most of what she says is in fun, so don’t take her too seriously.” They had turned for the living room when the swinging door leading to the kitchen was suddenly thrown open and a frantic-looking Theenie poked her head through. “Trouble in the kitchen,” she said. “Big trouble.”
Annie darted a look at Jamie. “Gotta run.” She raced into the next room, where she found Wes slumped at the table. “Oh no!” she cried. “What happened?”
“He passed out,” Destiny said.
A frowning Jamie stood in the doorway, trying to make sense of what was going on. “Who is
that
?”
Annie glanced her way. Damn. She hadn’t even heard Jamie follow her. “Long story.”
“You wouldn’t believe it anyway,” Destiny told Jamie.
Annie tried to shake the man awake. There was no movement. He began to snore lightly. “Oh, great!” she muttered. “Wes, you have to wake up!” she said loudly. She shook him harder, so hard he slipped from the chair and hit the floor with a resounding thud. His head bounced once, and he groaned.
Theenie cried out in alarm and then covered her mouth, but her eyes slid side-to-side, clearly panicked. “We’re going to kill the poor man yet.”
“Would somebody
puh-leese
tell me what’s going on!” Jamie insisted.
“We should try to sit him up,” Annie said as Theenie gave Jamie a rapid-fire rundown of events. “Maybe that’ll wake him.”
Jamie blinked several times as though trying to digest the explanation. “I’ll help.”
Working together, Annie, Jamie, and Destiny managed to get Wes into a sitting position, but his head lolled to one side. Annie stood over him, bracing her feet on either side as she slipped her arms beneath his and pulled. He was too heavy, despite Destiny and Jamie trying to pull him up from behind. Annie paused to catch her breath and Wes fell back once more, dragging her with him. Fortunately, Jamie prevented his head from hitting the floor again.
Annie suddenly found herself lying flat against the man, chest-to-chest, thigh-to-thigh. Before she could make a move, Wes smiled in his sleep and enveloped her in his arms. Her jaw dropped. Whoa, mama! She couldn’t remember when she’d last been this close to the opposite sex, but danged it if didn’t feel good.
Too
good, she thought, his tight muscles pressed against all her body parts.
Her stomach fluttered.
Her nipples hardened.
Her gizzard quivered.
“Oh my,” Theenie said, one hand at her breast as though she feared her heart would fly right out. “This won’t do. This simply won’t do.”