Gabriel's Regret: Book 1 (The Medlov Men Series 2) (23 page)

On the other end of the table, she sat watching him with a bright smile on her face, catching him every once in a while, looking down at her with complete love in his eyes. 

When Faddei finally arrived, he tried to blend in to the encounter.  Shocked at the set up, he put on his best face, made a plate and sat with the other captains, convening a meeting around Gabriel.

As Gabriel saw him approach, he offered a smile and raised drink. 

“Faddei, it’s good to see you, man” Gabriel said, acknowledging that he knew his name.

That did not give Faddei a good feeling, though he did well to conceal it. “Gabriel,” he said, sitting down beside Taras.  “I hope that you are pleased with your send off, da.”

“Very,” Gabriel said, nodding as a woman quickly filled his glass back up.  “I guess you had more drops to make than the rest of us.” 

The attention quickly turned to Faddei who had no choice but to lie. “Actually, I did a little reconnaissance and checked out the city.  Things seem eerily calm.”

Gabriel had never said a word about it, but he didn’t trust Faddei.  He had a politician’s face and sleek snaky hair.  Over the years, he had done his fair share of profiling, but it had never proven him wrong.  “Well, things are never as they seem,” Gabriel said with a glimmer in his eyes.

Faddei laughed nervously and scratched his brow. “I’ll definitely drink to that.” Picking at his food, he used the opportunity to dig deeper.  “So, you leave tomorrow, headed back to the States.  But will we ever see you again?”

What an odd question?  Nadei stopped drinking his vodka and stared at Faddei with daggers in his eyes.  Glancing over at Gabriel, he sucked his teeth.  Having been in combat for years, he knew a misplaced rat when he saw one, and he was looking at one presently. 

Gabriel caught on immediately.  This guy was not on the up and up.  Something about him was sleazy and rotten.  He could feel it in his gut.  “Of course, you’ll see me again.  I’m going to be one of your new benefactors. So, I’ll need to see how things are going from time to time.”

“Benefactors?” Tarras asked intrigued.

“Yes, I’ve agreed to cover any money that Allan Roman can’t,” Gabriel said, looking directly at Faddei.  Suddenly, his balls felt heavier.  “Valeriya had spent the last few days showing me how much your people are in need and while I don’t know or agree with all the politics involved, what I do know is that innocent people shouldn’t have to pay the cost for an entire country.  So, I’ve agreed to cover the costs personally to help her fight this war.” 

That made Faddei nervous.  The plans to attack Valeriya were already etched in stone.  If this man and his family became suspicious, then it would only be a matter of time before he was found out.

“Good,” Faddei said with a crooked grin.  “Then we won’t reserve your room for anyone else.”

Gabriel took a sip of his vodka and winced as it went down. “Oh, I’ll be staying with Valeriya,” he said, chest sticking out as far as it would go. “No special accommodations needed.”

The other men at the table looked around curiously. 

“So, I guess you’ve taken a liking to our leader,” Faddei asked, hoping it might raise the interests of the other captains around the table.

Gabriel didn’t bother to hide his true intention.  He wanted the world to know how he felt about Valeriya, but more that the word, he wanted these men to know that if anything happened to her, he would hold them accountable. He knew all too well what ambitious wrought in hungry men, and it was never anything good or noble.  If he was forced to leave her here unattended while he handled his uncle’s affairs, he wanted them all to know that at a moment’s notice, he would return with vengeance in his heart and his mind.  “Valeriya is a very strong and proud woman.  And she loves her country and all of you.  Her sacrifices, like many of yours, should not go unnoticed. But she is more than just this cause, just like all of you.  And that part of her, the part that none of you have had the opportunity to see, is the part that I love and I will defend.  Trust me when I say that if anything happens to her, those responsible will suffer a fate far worse than this war has produced.” 

Faddei felt a chill run up his spine, but his face still did not deceive him.  He raised his drink and smiled. “To a noble man and a noble cause.  A free Donetsk.”

The other men raised their drinks as well.  “A Free Donetsk,” they said in unison.

“A free Donetsk,” Gabriel said, looking down the table at Valeriya.

Chapter Seventeen

A Bitter Goodbye…

Valeriya sat on the end of her bed with Gabriel in complete silence.  It was the morning of his departure, and the weight of their soon-to-be separation was killing them both inside.  They had made love all night, kissing and holding each other, whispering words that the outside world would never hear and trying to commit to memory every facet of their short-lived relationship, but even without any sleep, they felt that somewhere in the last day, they had missed too much time with each other. Time that they could never get back.

Lovingly, Gabriel reached over and grabbed her slender hand.  “We don’t have to end like this,” he said, knowing that she understood his meaning.  This wasn’t the first time that he had begged her over the last several hours. 

“Gabriel, I can’t,” Valeriya said, eyes filling with hot tears again. She blinked them away and sniffled. “My place is here.”

“Your place is with me,” Gabriel said, voice pained.  His brows creased as he frowned unsure of what it would take to sway her. “You can fight the war still; it will just be from a safer place.”

Valeriya looked up at him. His body slumped in disappointment and that made her even sadder.  “If I left, that would make me a coward, now wouldn’t it?”

Gabriel didn’t care what it would make her.  All he knew was that he wanted her with him.  “I can help you. I can help you
better
, if you’re with me.”  There was no doubt in his mind that he would help her and her cause regardless, but something inside of him told her that this was no longer her fight. 

“You don’t think that I want to go?” she asked.  Swallowing tears and guilt, she bit her lip.  “It kills me that when I finally find love, I have to give it up so quickly.  That I have to lose you.”  Her mouth quivered, filling with water as she held back nausea at the idea of him leaving her.  “These last days with you have been so precious to me.  I can’t even explain.  But I can’t leave my people, and I can’t leave this fight.”

Gabriel let go of her hand and stood up.  The room was spinning in desperation.  He put his hands together in front of him like he was pleading.  “What’s one fighter, Valeriya?  I want to give you a better life. I want to give you me.”  His eyes beseeched her.  “I don’t want to leave you here in this hell hole with people who resent you for being who you are.  And no, I’m talking about the people in here, I’m talking about the people out there. Do you really think when it is all over that you will have a place in this society?  They loathe you.  They are using you.”  It wasn’t in him to hide his personal views anymore.  Maybe if he spoke up, she might finally see his point.   

Valeriya knew that he was anxious and his words came from a place of love, but it didn’t stop her from being angry.  “I’ll be Black where ever I go in this world.  And as long as I am Black, there will be someone who will loathe me and someone who will try to oppress me.  Why leave my home and my fight to go and fight someone else’s war somewhere else?”

“No one will oppress you, if you’re with me,” Gabriel promised.  “I won’t let them.”

Valeriya smiled at his words and his courage. “You have a good heart, but you are naïve about this world.”

“Maybe I’m not the only one who is naïve here,” he said, releasing a sigh.  He wanted to be angry with her, but the truth of the matter was that he was proud of her and her determination.  Still, he had to fight for her.  “Why don’t you at least come back with me for a few days to figure out things?  We can decide what’s best there.”

The idea sounded good to Valeriya, but she knew Gabriel. “If I go with you a few days, you’ll figure out how to keep me with you forever.  I’ll never see Ukraine again.”

Gabriel raised a brow. 
Was that such a bad thing? 
He wiped a hand over his beard.  “I will do whatever you ask as long as you come with me.  Please.”

Valeriya stood up and walked over to him.  Wrapping her arms around him, she looked up into his gypsy eyes and let him gently kiss her satin lips.  “Life is cruel.  You spend your whole life searching for someone to love you and then once you find them, life takes them away.”  Tears streamed down his eyes. “I can’t leave with you. I want to, but I can’t.”

Gabriel wasn’t convinced. “So, I’m just supposed to walk away and give up?” 

“No, I’m going to see this through, and then I’m going to find you.  If you’ll still have me,” she said sincerely. 

Gabriel held her even tighter, not truly able to get close enough to her to satisfy his longing.  “I’ll always have you.  There will never be a woman who can take your place.  Surely, you know that.”

Valeriya knew. “It’s what gives me hope.”

Hope.
  Gabriel wanted to laugh at hope.  She was right. He had found happiness and it was here with her, but just as Briggy had prophesied, it was being snatched away from him.  Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, but he fought them back.  “What am I supposed to do without you, Valeriya?  Now that you’ve opened my eyes, there is no going back.”

She ducked her head. “God, I don’t know. I don’t…have words to tell you how I’m feeling inside.  There is a void like I’ve never felt, and I know it’s because I love you.”  She tightened her mouth. “But I have to do what is right.  Too many lives have been lost for me to turn back now.  Too much sacrifice has already been made.  If I leave now, then it will be my undoing. My people need me, Gabriel. I need to fight for them.  They would never turn their back on me, and it’s because of that that I cannot turn my back on them, especially my captains.”  She rested her head on his chest. “I’m so sorry.”

“I wish that I could take your place,” Gabriel said aloud.  “I wish that I could send you back and keep you safe and make you happy, even if I had to stay.”

“It’s not your place to take,” Valeriya assured him.  “We must all walk our own path in this life.  No one can walk it for us.” This was becoming too difficult for her.  Her legs shook and her heart danced like a drum in her chest.  “Go,” she said, looking up at him with new tears.  “Leave now and know that you’ll always be in my heart.” 

***

When the door closed, Valeriya felt herself finally collapse.  Sliding down the door, she cried into her hands, holding in her sobs because she was too afraid that if Gabriel heard her as he walked down the hall, it might hurt him too much.  And she never wanted to see him in pain, ever.

This wasn’t fair.  It wasn’t right.  And the words that he had spoken to her only put doubt in her heart.  What if he was right?  What if staying here wouldn’t help or change anything? What if everyone she loved turned against her?  What if she was giving up a life of happiness to die here in this place in misery? 

Her whole life was a bunch of what-if’s, but whose existence wasn’t?  Nothing in this life was promised.  All one could do was forge ahead with a vision, and at this point, that was all that she had. 

Self-pity was a new emotion for her, and it didn’t sit right in her heart.  Standing up, she wiped off her face and straightened her clothes.  There was much to do today.  She had a meeting to leave for in fifteen minutes. 

For some reason, she was glad to be getting out of the hotel, getting some distance between herself and Gabriel and moving on.  She knew that if she didn’t, she would never be able to handle what she had just chosen – this over him.

Grabbing her backpack, she threw it over her shoulder, grabbed her gun holster and headed out of the door to meet Olek with her head up and her heart heavy. 

***

Gabriel stalked through his hotel room door with dark, heavy circles under his eyes and his head low.  To his surprise, Nadei was up, dressed and ready to leave.  They had a flight to catch on the outskirts of town to head out of this place and get back to the land of the living. 

“Boss, they will rendezvous with us in twenty minutes.  I was starting to get worried,” Nadei said, picking up his bags.  “Thought maybe you had thoughts of staying or some nonsense.”

Gabriel noticed Naddei cradling his wounded side.  “Not a moment too soon for you. We need to get you checked out as soon as we get back to the States,” he said, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Are you alright?” Nadei asked, already knowing the answer. 

Gabriel smirked as he scanned his room for his things.  Evidently, Nadei had already taken the liberty of packing all of his personal effects.  “Let’s just get the fuck out of here, please.”

“With pleasure,” Nadei said, offering a cup to his boss.

“What’s this?” Gabriel asked, taking the cup.

“Coffee.  Something to perk you up,” Nadei said, knowing that leaving Valeriya would be hard for him.  He sympathized really, but this wasn’t his call. He had seen how close Valeriya and Gabriel had become, but their business was not one of convenience.  Picking up his cell phone, he called to his contact. “We’re leaving now.”

“Check,” the voice on the other side of the phone.  “We are in place and waiting.  What’s your ETA?”

Nadei looked at his watch. “Thirty minute drive from here.  We’ll be in a white early model Land Rover with tinted windows and busted windshield.” 

“Roger that,” the American said.

Gabriel knew the verbal confirmation was a sign that his time here was over.  Grabbing his New York Yankee baseball cap, he slid it over his head and put on his shades. 

Nadei opened the door to the bedroom and stepped aside.  “After you,” he said to Gabriel.

As they walked their long walk from their hotel room to the back door of the hotel that led out to the dock, everyone stopped them to thank them. Women gave them hugs and kisses; men shook their hands and some wiped tears, sad and afraid to see them go. 

Gabriel understood, even more than he already did, why it was so hard for Valeriya to leave these poor, displaced people.  They needed someone to fight for them. They needed someone to sacrifice everything for them, but he begrudged them for having Valeriya, when he wanted her so. What about what he wanted?  What about what he needed? 

Opening the door to the back bay, Gabriel heard a voice behind him.  “Aren’t you going to say goodbye?”

He turned to find Andriy standing behind him, visibly upset by his departure. 

Walking up to Gabriel, he gave him a picture he had drawn.  It was of Gabriel sitting in the truck, looking out of the window from their trip to the orphanage. His likeness was amazing.

Gabriel rubbed his hand over the white paper and smiled. “This is really something special, kid.  Thank you.”

Andriy wiped his tears. “Thank you for everything that you have done for us.  I hope to see you again one day.”

Gabriel patted him on the back. “I’m sure you will.  You’ve got a whole world to conquer.  Don’t let this be it for you, okay.”

“I’ll try,” Andriy said, looking over at Nadei.  “Thanks for the gift.”

“No problem,” Nadei said, trying to quickly brush off his emotions.

“What gift?” Gabriel asked curiously.  Nadei wasn’t exactly the giving type.

Andriy pulled open his jacket just a little to show the weapon tucked inside of his jeans. “He gave me one of his big Glocks. It’s a beauty, da? No one here has one like it.”

Gabriel looked back at Nadei and smirked.  “Yeah, it’s a beauty,” he said, shaking his head.  For all the tough facade, Nadei was still just a giant marshmallow underneath. “Under normal circumstances, I would not approve of you having a weapon, but it seems like over here, you damn near need one.”  

“Yeah, well, I hope that changes sooner than later.  I hate Valeriya couldn’t see you off.  She had to go with Olek across town to meet with some people who say they want to get involved now.  It’s been a hard sell. Most of the people over there are pro-Russia, you know.  They don’t really like our type.”

Gabriel halted in his tracks. “She’s gone?”  He was surprised that she would have left so suddenly. 

Andriy shrugged.  “Yeah, I wanted to go too, but Olek stopped me and told me to stay here, but at least I got to see you guys before you left.”

Gabriel felt his stomach drop.  “Olek is taking her alone?”

“Yes,” Andriy said, oblivious to Gabriel’s concerns.  “I thought it was strange, but I’m just a kid.  They probably didn’t want me to get in the way.”

Nadei scratched his head.  “No one went to drive them?”

“No,” Andriy said, looking between the both of them. 

“Something isn’t right,” Gabriel said, looking at his watch. “How long have they been gone?”

“About ten or fifteen minutes.” Andriy said, picking up on the undertone of the conversation. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you know where they were going?” Gabriel asked Andriy. “It’s important.”

“Yes, I know the place, but it’s a pretty heavy area.”  Andriy pulled out his phone. “I’ll call her.”   He dialed the number, but it went straight to voicemail.  “She’s not answering.” 

“Call Olek,” Gabriel ordered.

Andriy nodded and tried to call him. His fingers trembled at the thought of his sister being in danger.  “It’s going to voicemail too.  It gets bad service there.”

Gabriel was not convinced. “It’s a set up,” he said to Nadei. 

“You don’t know that,” Nadei said, holding up his hand to calm Gabriel.  “Maybe they just needed to talk.”