Gaits of Heaven (20 page)

That same Tuesday afternoon at about four o’clock, I
got another pleading call from Ted Green. His previous pleas had been merely alarmist. This time, his ordinarily pleasant, calm voice sounded weak and thick. He said that his ankle was in a cast and that he wasn’t supposed to put weight on it. His new housekeeper hadn’t shown up. At his insistence, Barbara had returned Dolfo. He’d managed to get down the back steps to take Dolfo out, but the exuberant dog had jumped on him and knocked him to the ground. He’d had to crawl back upstairs to the house. It seemed to me that he hadn’t been thinking straight: the yard was fenced, and if he was unable to manage stairs, he should just have let Dolfo out and then in. Ted went on. He was out of dog food, the milk was sour, he’d had to cancel all his patients, and he was on so much pain medication that he belonged in bed. Barbara and George weren’t home. He didn’t know what to do.
Oy vey iz mir!
The cry was merited. He really needed help.

Caprice was there when I took the call. “What’s true is that Ted has no real friends,” she said when I’d hung up. “He has people he sucks up to, people he wants to impress, that kind of thing. There were people who cared about my mother, but they were her friends, not Ted’s. They know what a poseur he is. He called you because he knew you’d feel sorry for him.”

Mindful of Kevin’s warning, I said, “Look, I’m not crazy about the idea of going there alone, but he sounds terrible. I do feel sorry for him. But…Caprice, bad things happen in that house. I don’t have to tell you that.”

“They probably won’t happen to you,” she said.

“I’ll just take over milk and dog food. I’ll drop it off. I won’t stay. Or maybe Barbara and George are home by now. They’d help. I’m sure Barbara would take Dolfo.”

“She tried to talk them out of buying him,” Caprice said. “She said there was no such thing as a golden Aussie huskapoo and that if they wanted a mixed-breed dog, they should go to a shelter.”

“She was right. But at least there’s nothing wrong with his temperament, why, I can’t imagine. According to everything I know about dogs, it’s a miracle that he isn’t biting people. Anyway, let me try Barbara and George. If they aren’t there and if I really think that safety is an issue, I’ll get Steve to keep Dolfo at the clinic. I can’t have him here, not with our five.”

I had no luck in reaching Barbara and George, and reluctantly decided to make a quick trip to Ted’s. I didn’t ask Caprice to accompany me. It was her idea. She insisted. “After what happened last night, Wyeth won’t be there. Really, I don’t mind. I want to go with you.”

I filled a couple of heavy-duty food-storage bags with dry dog food. In case Barbara and George were out of town and Ted insisted on keeping Dolfo with him, I also took two stuffed Kong toys from the freezer to keep Dolfo happy in his crate. On the drive to Ted’s, I stopped for milk and, on impulse, also got eggs, bread, and cheddar cheese; for all I knew, the housekeeper wasn’t the only one who’d failed to show up, and if the milk had turned, Ted might be short on other perishables, too. When we arrived, one of the three parking spots in the paved area next to Ted’s house was empty. Instead of pulling into it, I backed into a space on the street, as if to remind myself that I was just dropping off supplies and not really paying a visit. Caprice helped me to carry everything in. We left our shoes on the porch, of course. When I rang the bell, I heard Ted call out, and Dolfo barked, but no one came to the door, so Caprice used her key.

The house reeked of urine, and I made the mistake of putting one stocking foot on a dark carpet only to feel moisture seep through. Dolfo greeted us by running madly up and down the stairs to the second floor, but at least he didn’t manage to jump on either of us. We found Ted on a couch in the family room. His hair was greasy, and his skin was pale and waxy. I was used to seeing Ted in the kinds of trendy clothes that Steve would never have bought, and he’d always looked as if his clothes were brand new or fresh from the cleaner. Now, he wore an unfashionably wrinkled lime-green shirt with a coffee-colored stain on the front. Instead of trousers, he had on baggy maroon shorts that he must have chosen because he’d been able to pull them on despite the cast that covered most of his right foot and extended up his calf. A pair of crutches lay on the floor beside the couch.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” he said in the weak, groggy voice I’d heard on the phone. His eyes looked heavy and unfocused. “Wyeth would’ve helped me, but he’s at his mother’s.”

Caprice and I exchanged a glance. In spite of her cynical and suspicious attitude toward Ted, she had the frightened, bewildered expression of a child forced to confront parental weakness.

“Ted, you can’t be here by yourself,” I said.

“It’s the pills,” he said. “You ever broken a bone? It hurts like hell, and this, uh, thing, the cast…I can’t get ice on my ankle, and it hurts like shit. Can you help me get up? I need to go to the bathroom.”

For building strength, big dogs have it all over health clubs. Ted outweighed my malamutes, but I didn’t have to take his full weight, and I easily helped him off the couch and onto his crutches. At my direction, Caprice leashed Dolfo to prevent him from barging into Ted. Through the big glass doors of the family room, I caught sight of Barbara, who was in her backyard with Portia.

“Ted, Barbara’s home. She’s in the yard. I’m going to ask her to take Dolfo,” I said. “Don’t argue about it.”

Ted began to work his way toward the kitchen and presumably toward the powder room where we’d once discovered Dolfo. He managed the crutches surprisingly well. I opened a door to the deck and called out to Barbara, who readily agreed to take Dolfo. “Just bring him over,” she called.

“Let’s just get Dolfo to Barbara before Ted comes back,” I said to Caprice. “Could you walk Dolfo over there right now? I’ll put the milk and stuff in the refrigerator, and then I’ll be right over. I want to talk to Barbara about Ted. At a minimum, someone should keep checking on him.”

“He’s stoned,” Caprice said.

“His judgment is clouded.”

“Permanently.”

“Take Dolfo out the front door before Ted has a chance to see him leaving. I don’t want him looking out and seeing you in the yard, or he’ll give us a hard time.”

“Dolfo, let’s go! Go visit Barbara and Portia? Good boy!” She patted her thigh and led Dolfo toward the front hall with the self-confidence of a dog person. You know those total immersion programs for people who want to learn foreign languages? The ones where you live with a family and have to communicate exclusively in their language? It occurred to me that Steve and I could take in people who needed to become fluent in dog.
Converse with native speakers! No boring grammar drills! Rapid mastery guaranteed!

When I’d finished putting the milk, eggs, and cheddar in the refrigerator, I glanced down the corridor toward the powder room and saw that the door was still closed. Although I felt a duty to see to it that Ted was safe, I had no desire to spend yet more time with him. Consequently, I grabbed the dog food and the Kong toys I’d brought with me and hurried to the front door and out to the porch. Caprice, who was wearing running shoes, must have stopped to tie them. As I was slipping on my own shoes, she and Dolfo were beginning to walk along the sidewalk in front of Ted’s wide driveway, which lay between Ted’s house and Barbara and George’s. This off-street parking area was beautifully paved in cobblestone to create what looked like a patio. The space nearest Ted’s house was occupied by the silver Lexus SUV that Ted and Eumie had driven on the night I’d first met them. Parked next to it was a silver BMW sedan. The third space, the one closest to Barbara and George’s property, was empty, as it had been when we’d arrived. As usual, the neighborhood looked more suburban than urban, and at the moment, it was exceptionally quiet: no lawn mowers, no leaf blowers, not even a passing car.

As I was starting down the front steps, Dolfo stopped to sniff one of the tires of the BMW. Sounding eerily like Leah, Caprice said, “Not there! No man-made objects! Fire hydrants excepted. And that’s not a fire hydrant. Good boy, Dolfo. This way!”

As I descended the steps, I looked down to avoid losing my footing. At the precise moment I reached the bottom, when Caprice and Dolfo were on the sidewalk in front of the empty space next to the BMW, a big, shiny black SUV came tearing down the street, slowed abruptly, turned, and headed directly for that same parking space, which is to say, directly at Caprice and Dolfo.

“Caprice, run!” I screamed. “Get out of the way! Run!”

I had a clear view of the driver: Wyeth Green. Even if he somehow hadn’t seen Caprice and Dolfo, he’d have heard my desperate warning in time to put on the brakes. As it was, he ran that gigantic car into Caprice. His expression left no doubt that he had deliberately hit her. By the time he came to a halt, I was banging on the driver’s side window of the monstrous vehicle, which reminded me all too much of a hearse: long, wide, black, and deathly.

I’m unsure of the exact sequence of my next actions, and my memory of the details has a weirdly kaleidoscopic quality. I wrenched open the car door and must have thrown myself on top of Wyeth as I made sure that the transmission was in park and as I yanked the key out of the ignition. Logic suggests that I first prevented the car—and its driver—from doing further harm and only then knelt on the cobblestones next to Caprice, who lay in a fetal position and was groaning in pain. Amazingly, she retained a tight grip of Dolfo’s leash. I took it from her.

“It’s just my knee. I’ll be okay,” she managed to say. “Dolfo broke my fall. I fell on him. Is he all right?”

I remember that Dolfo was leaning over Caprice and licking her face. I had to push him aside, perhaps before she spoke, perhaps after. I have a vivid image of the front wheels, the massive tires, and the oversized chrome bumper of the car, and of Caprice on the beautiful stone paving only a few feet away.

“He’s fine.” I pulled out my cell phone. “I’m calling an ambulance.”

I know that she told me that she didn’t need one. “I just have to catch my breath,” she said.

After that, the sequence is clear to me.

A small beige sedan pulled off the street and parked behind my Blazer. Out of it stepped a familiar-looking fine-boned woman with short blond hair and pale skin. She wore beige linen pants and a pale linen top. I recognized her as Johanna Green not only because she fit the description I’d been given of Ted’s ex-wife but because I knew that Johanna had a papillon, and this woman had one tucked under her left arm. The little dog’s bright, eager expression was in marked contrast to Johanna’s. The woman had dark circles under her eyes, and her whole face seemed to droop.

“Mom, it wasn’t my fault,” I heard Wyeth say.

Only when Ted replied did I realize that he was on the front porch of his house. “What the hell is going on?” he demanded.

“Wyeth,” said Johanna, “has apparently had a little incident. We were coming here to get his belongings.”

“Mom got me my Land Rover,” Wyeth said, “and I’m not all that used to it. I accidentally bumped into Caprice.”

Ted’s voice was suddenly strong. “Johanna, did you buy him that car?”

“Ted, you and I have joint custody. I’m perfectly within my rights to mother him as I see fit.”

“You are ruining him! He needs limits! Boundaries! He has to learn that there are consequences to his behavior! He threw his computer out the window and broke my ankle, and the consequence you’ve provided is a fucking Land Rover? Johanna, I’m going to see you in court for this. You are a vicious, destructive person and a terrible mother.”

“Don’t talk to her like that!” Wyeth shouted. “Shut up! Just shut up!”

Johanna ignored him and hollered at her ex-husband. “Ted, let me tell you something. What happened was that as usual, you blamed Wyeth for what was nothing more than an accident. He would never, ever have deliberately done what he’s accused of doing. He was heartbroken, and he was terrified. When he showed up at my door last night, he was shaking all over. I’ll see
you
in court, you abusive son of a bitch!”

Ted remained on the porch, and Johanna had now moved to the open door of the extravagant gift Wyeth had received for breaking his father’s ankle. Wyeth was in the driver’s seat. Johanna reached in and rested a hand on his shoulder. Had Johanna and Ted been right next to each other, their voices would have been raised. As it was, they were a considerable distance apart, so they were shouting to be heard as well as to vent rage.

“Johanna,” Ted bellowed, “you are a vain, selfish monster! I should’ve known! This is what I deserve for marrying the ultimate shikse! I’ve brought it on myself, and I’ve brought it on my son. Ai-ai-ai!”

“I’m a shikse? You’re calling
me
a shikse? What do think your precious Eumie was? Well, I’ll tell you what she was! A marriage wrecker! A conniving bitch! A dirty little sneak!”

With an exaggerated shrug, Ted said, “The truth comes out, Johanna. Holly, I hope you’re paying attention, because you might have to testify to what that woman is saying. She hated my Eumie. She was consumed by jealousy and envy. So she—”

“You are such a bullshit artist, Ted! She was a dirty sneak, and you know it. She knew all your little secrets, didn’t she? But you couldn’t trust her. Is that why you killed her? To keep her loud mouth shut?”

Caprice had pulled herself to her feet. She was resting one hand on the hood of the car, the other on Dolfo’s head. When I turned to her, I was horrified at myself. She should never have heard any of this fight. Tears were running down her face.

“We’re leaving,” I whispered as I took Dolfo’s leash. “I’ll be back in a second.”

In no more than twenty seconds, I was handing Dolfo’s leash to Barbara, who must have been next to her front door when I rang the bell. “Just take him. Please!” I handed her Wyeth’s keys. “Could you return these once we’ve left? I’m in a hurry. Caprice shouldn’t have to listen to what’s going on out there.”

“Of course not,” Barbara said. “Go!”