Gates of Thread and Stone (16 page)

Have you considered the possibility that you might be like Irra?

Maybe that first night here, Avan hadn’t been talking only about me. Maybe, even then, he’d suspected.

What if you could find out for sure? Would you want to know?

I was willing to bet that he had figured out the answer for himself. And he didn’t seem thrilled about it.

CHAPTER 22

ON OUR LAST
day with Irra and the hollows, we trained in the courtyard. G-10 had warned us that for our final lesson he wouldn’t hold back, because he felt we could handle it. Still, I winced through Avan’s fight.

Avan was growing into a good fighter, fast and powerful, but G-10 was a fully trained sentinel with a collar that enhanced his already superhuman abilities. When Avan finally landed a kick that knocked G-10 down, G-10 flipped easily to his feet and congratulated him. No one mentioned how Avan’s brief limp improved almost immediately.

In my fight, I dodged more often than not but managed to land a few quick jabs that made G-10 bare his teeth in approval.

Afterward, I sprawled on the grass, exhausted. But it was a good sort of exhaustion. I had gotten used to the insane training regimen. I was almost sorry it was over. A few minutes after G-10 left, a hollow I recognized as a medic from the hospital wing joined us in the courtyard.

Seeing as it was our last day, I let her prod my skin and feel along my bones while asking if it hurt. “Nothing’s broken,” she announced once she finished. “But this is some impressive bruising.”

She fished in her bag and withdrew a vial. She held it up and swished its contents. Then she popped open the top and offered it to me.

I gave the vial a dubious look.

“It’s a healing tonic,” she said, pushing the vial into my hand. “We developed it from studying our own increased healing abilities.”

“Why would you need tonic?” Avan asked. He was sitting beneath the tree, looking attractively mussed but not the least bit tired.

“Some of us heal almost instantly, but a few of us don’t seem to have increased healing at all. It’s different from hollow to hollow. This just makes things easier for everyone, especially whenever Ninu sends sentinels into the Void to look for us.”

I tipped the contents into my mouth. It tasted bitter. I coughed, grimaced, and handed back the empty vial.

“G-10 told me you guys are leaving tomorrow for the White Court,” the medic said. “You should be all healed by morning. Can’t have you going into the Tournament looking like you were trampled by a Gray.”

“Thanks,” I said, dropping onto the grass again. Was it my imagination or did I already feel a bit better?

The medic didn’t bother checking Avan before she left. Did everyone know? More importantly, was Avan ever going to tell me?

I watched the clouds through the branches for a while, listening to the sound of the birds bustling around in their nest. The metal legs of Avan’s chair raked across the ground as he stood. My eyes closed, and the grass rustled as he lowered himself beside me. Neither of us spoke.

After sleeping next to each other for more than two weeks, having him so close no longer felt awkward. Well, not entirely. That fluttery feeling in my stomach had grown stronger, along with a constant desire to touch him, even if it was just my fingertips against the lines of his palm. There was a comfort in knowing that if I reached over, he’d be there.

And then there was the part of me that whispered every night to lie down beside him. To curl against his side and drape my leg across his hip. To place his hand on my thigh.

What would he do? Would he push me away or wrap his arm around my waist and grip me closer?

The next time I opened my eyes, the sky had grown dark, and I was alone.

I rubbed my face and rose to my elbows. Lanterns along the path confirmed that the courtyard was empty. My stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I stood and glanced at the curtained glass doors leading to Irra’s study. Last night, Irra had met with us long enough to present us with our new IDs. I hadn’t seen him since, and I doubted he’d be there to send us off tomorrow.

In the mess hall, I was surprised to find that the clock said it was after nine. At our usual table, G-10 and Avan waved me over. The other hollows murmured greetings. They were polite, but G-10 and Hina were the only ones who consistently sought us out. I didn’t mind. I would probably never see these people again, and there was no point forming connections.

Forgotten things.
I pushed the thought away.

I picked up a tray of food, overflowing again—the enthusiastic chef had eventually introduced himself as Rennard—and sat down at the table. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked Avan.

“You needed the rest.”

“But now the day’s been wasted.” It had been my last chance to explore Etu Gahl.

“You look good,” he said, his eyes roaming my face.

My cheeks grew warm.

“I mean your skin,” he said, and then broke into a smile as my face grew hotter. “I mean your bruises. They’re almost completely healed.”

I carefully chewed my bread. “Yeah. Thanks.”

G-10 cleared his throat. “I have a surprise for you both tomorrow morning.”

“Parting gift?” I asked, twirling pasta around my fork, glad for the distraction.

“Sort of. But I have another surprise for you first. There’s a reason Avan left you in the courtyard. He was in the kitchen with me.” G-10 brushed crumbs off his fingers and pushed aside his tray.

“You were cooking? Is that a skill we’ll need in the Tournament?”

G-10 waved at someone across the hall.

The doors to the kitchen swung open, and a flurry of hollows rushed out, carrying trays filled with drinks. Hina was wheeling a giant cake.

I stared, mouth open in confusion. G-10 rolled his eyes.

“Your good-bye party. Couldn’t let you leave without proper fanfare, could I?”

“This is for us?”

“No, it’s for the gargoyles,” G-10 said.

“Maybe we should have invited them.” Avan nudged my shoulder.

I didn’t know what to say. No one had ever done something like this for me before.

The hollows around us stood and pushed their tables against the walls to clear the floor. Avan helped to arrange the drinks on our table. I eyed the cake as Hina rubbed her belly and pretended to take a big bite off a frosted end.

Along one wall, a group of hollows set up battered but functioning instruments. Lilting music with a quick beat filled the room. Hollows, young and old, converged into the cleared space, arms linked, the air buzzing with excitement. I awkwardly tried to push into a corner, but G-10 grasped my hand before I could get very far.

He tugged me out into the middle of the crowd and began . . . I don’t know what he was doing. Dancing, I think. I’d never been to a party; and music in Ninurta, outside of the underground clubs, was a rare treat. I didn’t know how this dancing thing was done.

What I did know was that I had no interest in trying. It looked silly.

“Oh, come on, Kai!” G-10 swept me up in the air, hands at my waist, and spun me around with a breathless laugh.

His enthusiasm drew a laugh from me as well. All around me, hollows shouted encouragement. Hina whistled from behind her boyfriend’s beefy shoulder. For the first time since we’d gotten here, I felt like one of them.

I swung around, looking for Avan, and the smile grew stiff on my face.

Avan held a pretty hollow in his arms. He drew the stares of more than a few people around him. On full display, his beauty reduced even trained soldiers to helpless admiration. The girl with him leaned in closer.

Gentle fingers touched my jaw and directed my attention back to G-10’s blue eyes. He smiled ruefully. “He’s just having fun.”

“It’s none of my business.”

“I don’t think he’d mind if you wanted it to be.”

I didn’t want to think about what that meant. “Avan is my friend. And my only interest right now is to find Reev.”

G-10 pushed his fingers through his tousled hair. Then he took my hand and led me over to the drinks. He plucked a green one that smelled of citrus.

“Well,” he said, pushing the cup into my hands, “hard to compete with that, isn’t it?”

What was he talking about? I examined the green liquid before taking a sip. It tasted sweet and a little tart.

“What is this?” I asked, watching the way the green liquid caught the light.

“Fruit juice with a touch of magic for flare,” he said, and then nodded at some glowing blue drinks farther down the table. “Those are alcoholic if you’re inclined.”

“I’m not.”

“Come on.” He pulled me into the crowd of dancers. The hollows shouted happily at us as we passed.

It amazed me that they’d done all this for us, and I appreciated it, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what lay ahead of us. G-10 turned around to face me. In the light of the lanterns overhead, I could see the way his eyes searched mine.

“Tomorrow, you leave us,” he said. “But tonight, be here. For a little while.”

“I
am
here,” I said, lifting the drink in my hand.

He rubbed his thumb against my temple and stepped close enough that I could count the pale freckles on his nose.

“No,” he said. “Be
here
. Quit thinking about what’s going to happen when you get to Ninurta.” He touched my jaw. It didn’t hurt anymore. “For now, be
here
.”

I sighed softly. He had arranged all this for us. “All right.”

His eyes lit up. They were really very nice eyes.

“Good,” he said. “Now dance.”

I did, but not very well. He laughed at my attempts, and I laughed along with him. Around us, people twirled and swayed to the music with no embarrassment. I could disappear here. For a little while.

Avan spun by, the pretty hollow clinging to his shoulders. He looked at me, then at G-10, before looking away. The girl’s lips hovered at his ear. I couldn’t tell what she was saying—Avan showed no reaction.

I closed my eyes and let myself move to the beat that vibrated through the floor and into my body.

CHAPTER 23

WE DANCED UNTIL
my feet hurt, then G-10 cut me a slice of cake as big as my head. It tasted like nothing I’d ever had: moist and sweet with a hint of lemon. It practically melted in my mouth. G-10 took inordinate pride in detailing how he and Avan helped Chef Rennard prepare it while Hina shouted unproductive suggestions. Afterward, other hollows took my hand and guided me around the floor a few times before returning me to G-10. I collapsed onto a bench and downed another of the tart fruit drinks. Beside me, G-10 looked flushed, his blue eyes bright.

“I think,” he said, “I’ve settled on a name.”

“I was growing fond of G-10.”

He made a face. “Ninu assigned me that name.”

“Oh, well, then it’s a terrible name. What should I call you now?”

“Mason,” he said, and waited for my response. He seemed uncertain.

“That’s a great name. Very strong.”

“Mason it is, then.” He reached out and nudged the hair sticking to my cheek. His knuckles were light against my skin.

In the training ring, he was brutal. Away from it, he was deliberately careful with me. He didn’t hide behind different faces like Avan. Mason was just Mason—whatever his name: serene, controlled, disciplined.

“Excuse me.”

We both looked up at Avan. Mason’s hand fell away.

Avan regarded Mason for a moment before he turned to me. “Dance with me?”

Mason’s fingers brushed my elbow, urging me to stand. “Go on.”

He waved at the musicians, and the song ended with a screech of strings. When the music started again, the notes were slow and silvery. I didn’t know how to move to this. Avan pulled me close with a hand at my back.

“Are you having fun?” I asked, resting my hands on his shoulders, where the other girl had held on to him.

“Yeah. It’s been a while since I’ve been to a party.”

Avan had been a fixture at the underground clubs. I knew this because everyone did—up until a couple of years ago when he’d stopped going. And somehow he had still managed to open his dad’s shop every morning. Bleary-eyed and rumpled, but there all the same.

The girls at school liked to corner me for details, convinced that because I was Avan’s friend, I had insider information on him. But Avan didn’t talk about his private life, and I never asked. I didn’t want to know.

“The clubs—are they like this?”

He smirked. Someone had dimmed the lanterns, and the low light stained his eyes black. His hands seared my waist. The shadows cut his dimple deeper into his cheek.

“Yes and no. Lots of people, some music and dancing. But mostly it’s just an excuse for kids to screw around without fear of the Watchmen.”

“I’ve wondered about them.”

“Don’t. The clubs wouldn’t have been right for you,” he said. At the look on my face, he added, “That’s a compliment. Trust me.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Avan’s past made me intensely curious—and maybe a little unreasonably jealous—but no one in Ninurta was innocent, and Avan had turned out better than most.

When I’d first met him, I’d treated him brusquely because of my assumptions about him. But even after we became friends, I kept my distance. Not because I didn’t trust him, as he probably still assumed, but because I refused to let him sweep me into that category of people: those who’d slept with him and then spoke of him afterward with smug words and vulgar smiles. As far as I could tell, the gossip didn’t bother him.

But it bothered
me
, and I wouldn’t have him thinking I was like them.

If there was ever to be any sort of “us”—the sum of much more than just him and me—I wanted to be different. I wouldn’t accept just one night.

“And I like this better,” he said, smiling—not the blinding smile used to charm people but a private one, even though people surrounded us on all sides. “What about you?”

“Not bad for my first party.” I closed my eyes, feeling strangely light-headed. I could smell the soap the hollows had used to wash our clothes, and his skin—citrus and vanilla from the kitchen, and an earthy warmth from dancing. His breath, warm against my temple, smelled sweet like the cake. Would he taste sweet as well?

I didn’t know what was happening between us—what
had been
happening between us—but his friendship was worth more than all of Ninurta. I couldn’t do anything to mess that up.

My fingers tightened against his shoulders before letting go. “I’m tired,” I said, looking at his chin. “I’m going to clean up and go to bed.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No,” I said, pressing my hand against his chest. “You should stay and enjoy yourself. I doubt we’ll get another chance after tonight.”

I gave him a light shove to stay put. Then I backed away, and, with a wave, I wove through the crowd, heading for the door. Hands brushed my shoulders as I left, words of parting and well wishes shouted over the music. I responded to them with rushed thanks that I hoped conveyed how glad I was to share this night with them. I had lost Hina in the crowd, but I’d see her tomorrow.

At the door, someone grabbed my wrist. I looked back, expecting Avan.

Mason gave me a half smile. “Can I walk you up?”

“I’m not going to get lost.”

He laughed quietly. “Can I walk you anyway?”

“Sure.”

We didn’t talk as we climbed the staircase, but it felt nice to have him there beside me. I realized how much I would miss him. When we arrived at the dormitories, I glanced between Avan’s door and mine. Remembering the way that girl had whispered in his ear, I decided I should sleep in my own room tonight. After Mason left, I would just slip into his room long enough to retrieve my mattress. I ignored the ache in my chest, as well as that inner voice urging me to claim my space on his cot instead.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Mason said. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but I was glad when he didn’t.

I gave him a hug, then mumbled good night and shut my door.

I was swimming in the place between dreams and awareness when a knock jolted me awake. For a moment, I almost expected to see Reev lying on his cot across our little freight container. A lump in my throat, I went to answer the door.

Avan stood in the hall, hands shoved into his back pockets and shoulders hunched. His whole body seemed to unfurl in relief at the sight of me.

“You weren’t—” He gestured at his room. “I thought maybe you . . . had gotten lost. Or something.” He rubbed the back of his neck, looking embarrassed.

I was too tired to try and make sense of what he was saying. I made vague motions between my door and his. “You’re alone?”

He checked over his shoulder as if someone might have crept up behind him. “Pretty sure,” he said awkwardly, as if confused by my question.

“Oh. Well.” I gave a small yawn and rubbed my eyes. “Okay then.”

His embarrassment seemed to melt away as his mouth curved into a crooked smile. He moved closer. His scent enveloped me.

I found myself leaning forward. Blinking, I grasped the door to keep steady. My pulse quickened as his face drew nearer. My hand tightened around the doorknob. I stared at his mouth and shivered.

“Did
you
want to be alone?” he murmured. His fingers skimmed my jaw and rested just beneath my ear.

No. I wanted to reach up and guide his lips down to mine. I knew my reaction was due in part to the lingering gauze of sleep, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to be rational. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, savoring the way his palm cupped my neck. My thoughts felt muddled, drowned out behind the veil of darkness and the haze of warmth spreading through me.

“Kai,” he whispered, and even though my name was like a sigh in the silence, I could hear the question in it.

My eyes opened and sought out his in the scant light. I wasn’t sure what he was asking—why I hadn’t kept our usual arrangement and slept in his cot or . . . if I wanted him to join me in mine.

So I gave him the easier answer of the two. “I figured you’d want your privacy tonight.”

His confusion lasted for a second before he realized what I meant. I caught a glimmer of surprise in his eyes.

“I see,” he said, and backed away.

Drek.
I was instantly wide-awake. What was wrong with me?
Idiot!

I stepped into the hall and watched him push his own door open. I wanted to reach out, but I didn’t know if my touch would be welcome now. “Avan, wai—”

“Sorry for waking you,” he said, and shut his door before I could say anything else.