Authors: Regan Claire
“U-u-uncle C-c-Connor, c-can I-I s-stop Temper-ring no-ow?” I managed to get out through my clattering teeth.
“Do you think it’s safe if she stops?” My uncle asked Dove, who had reached over to touch my shoulder, easing my cold and ache a little.
“Tell her just a few more minutes. I’m going to call my parents and find out what they say.”
Apparently it was too much of an emergency to walk out of the room with the phone, since he stayed right behind the couch the whole time. I couldn’t make myself pay attention to what he was saying, but when he got off the phone he walked around the couch to face me, losing contact with my skin for an agonizing moment before grasping my hand in front of me.
“Della, I’m going to have to look at your injuries? That means I have to lift your blanket, so it’s going to be chilly, and it might hurt. Do you understand?”
I nodded, and tried to keep myself still while he gently poked around, mostly my arms and legs, but a little on my torso.
“Connor, the bleeding’s mostly done, so she can stop. I’ll need to spend the night though, sir. She has about six serious cuts close to an artery or major vein, then another dozen or so more that aren’t quite so serious. I think she also has a broken rib or two. No internal bleeding that I could tell, but her bruises are pretty severe and I’m afraid she might have a concussion.”
His catalogue of my injuries washed over me but all I really cared about was that I could stop Tempering, which I immediately did, sighing in relief. I still hurt, but nothing, and I mean nothing, can compare to what I’d been feeling before. And now that the Temper was out, I found myself feeling sleepy around the edges. Thank goodness.
“How about your father, is he coming?” I heard my uncle ask, though my eyes had drifted closed.
“No, Dad’s away right now. Mom will be here soon though, she’s bringing her kit and some stuff that will help me tonight,” Dove answered, not waiting for permission before scooping me back up into his arms and walking down the hallway to the stairs.
It was incredible how good it felt. I was instantly warm, and could feel tears prickling my eyes at the sudden disappearance of most of my pain. He’d been able to dampen it when I was Tempering, but now that I wasn’t he was able to pretty much make it disappear. I fell asleep before we reached the top of the stairs, snuggling into his orangey warmth.
January 7
th
1969
Dear Journal,
Anise’s testing is tomorrow. I believe she is ready. She has grown so much in her abilities these past few months, and I couldn’t be prouder. She is in her room now, resting up in preparation. I must go soon, though. The new family of Healers has finally arrived, and Mark Neale is bringing them over for lunch so that we may get to know them. I’m interested in seeing their abilities. The letters they’ve written that describe them seem unbelievable, but perhaps Europe is full of their type of power.
I woke up in my bed to darkness. I was alone, in one of my light cotton nightgowns, and something smokey tickled my nose. The house was asleep and it had that special kind of quiet that only happens in the middle of the night. Well, mostly quiet. There was someone in the bathroom down the hall, the light filtering in from my open door. I would have gotten out of bed, I never slept with my door open, but the reason I woke up was preventing me.
I was in a horrible achy pain. It hurt to breathe and to move, and I just couldn’t make myself get out of my warm covers. The events of the night came rushing back. At least my pain was less than it was before. A lot less, if I remembered Dove’s list of my injuries correctly. I tried to look at my arms by the light of the moon to see how badly I was cut up, but the light was too dim. Brushing my fingertips down, I felt a multitude of scabbed over scrapes.
“Damn, I was hoping you wouldn’t wake up when I left,” came a voice from my doorway. Looking up I could see Dove’s figure silhouetted in the darkness coming towards me.
“What do you mean?” I knew he was spending the night, I remembered that much, so I wasn’t surprised to see him coming in my room.
“Well, I was hoping that the pain wouldn’t wake you up once I had to stop touching you,” he said as he sat down on my bed.
“Oh. Um, how did I get in my pajamas?”
“You’re such a girl. My mom came over and helped out for a bit. She’s staying in the guest room tonight. You were covered in blood, so Ellis and my mom cleaned you up and got you dressed.”
“And I slept through that?”
“You were tired.” He shrugged.
“Oh.” I had been hoping there was a potion or tincture or something that had put me to sleep, because I was still so tired but didn’t think I’d be able to sleep over the pain.
“There are two ways we can do this, Della. You can accept that you need me to sleep, scoot your butt over, and let me get back into bed. Or I can call your uncle, who will tell you to scoot your butt over and let me get into bed.” His words caused my jaw to drop.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!”
“No, I’m not. I’m too tired to argue about this. You still need a lot of healing, unless you want all those cuts to scar, and to be in pain for the next week or two, so just move over and let me do my job,” he said with aggravated force.
I started breathing heavily, sat up, and scooted back farther and farther away from him until my back hit the wall next to the bed. My pulse raced, and a desperate need to flee came over me.
“Whoa, Della. What’s wrong? Talk to me, what’s wrong?” I felt the bed dip as Dove crawled over to me.
“Just stop. Don’t touch me, just give me a minute.” Dove wasn’t going to try anything with me. I trusted him. He wasn’t going to hurt me. I kept repeating this to myself as I focused on my breathing. In. Out. This had never happened before and I wasn’t sure what was going on. I didn’t realize my Shielding was still down and my energy stores were too low to put them back up. Had no idea then that my Shielding had done more than just protect me physically, that it had been protecting me from my own trauma all this time.
“You’re safe here. Connor contacted the Elfennol and they’ve doubled the guard on the island. I’m not going to hurt you,” he said in a soft voice, as if talking to a scared puppy. It hadn’t even occured to me to still be afraid of the Clades.
“I know, it’s not that.”
“Della, I really need to stay by you. Your cuts aren’t healed yet, and you’ve lost a lot of blood and…”
“I know, I know. Just, lie down okay?” I did know that. I knew that my uncle, or Cash, wouldn’t be okay with his sleeping in here unless it was necessary. But I was terrified, couldn’t get my heartbeat under control. He lay down and had the sense to stop talking.
After a few minutes I inched myself off the wall and under the covers next to him. A couple minutes later I was able to scoot close enough so that our arms were touching. As soon as I had even that much contact with him I started feeling better. The pain along that arm started going away, and a pleasant tingling on my cuts made me think that he’d started healing them again.
“Della? I’m going to turn to my side. I want you to scoot up to me so that I can put my arm around you, is that okay?” His calm voice was laced with tiredness. I was able to do what he asked me, though, rolling over to face him before scooting myself closer. He gingerly put his arm over me, and pulled me a little closer so that my forehead was pressed against the hollow in his neck. I sighed into him, my whole body instantly feeling better washed in the healing tingles.
“We going to talk about what just happened?” he asked after a couple minutes of silence.
“I don’t know. It’s never happened before.”
“I think you just had a panic attack. Which is understandable. I just want to know what triggered it. You were fine, then suddenly seemed afraid of me. I would never hurt you.” His voice sounded growly with sleep, in a good way.
I took a moment to think about what I was going to say. I knew what triggered it. I knew what thoughts were going through my head, what memories were fighting their way to the surface. I knew what frightened me.
“I wasn’t afraid of you. I was just reminded of a bad memory. Your tone of voice, and the… and getting in bed with me.” He pulled back from me, and when I angled my face up to see what he was doing, all I could see were his eyes on mine, searching.
“God, Della. Who? Did he...?” He didn’t finish his question, but I knew what he was asking. I put my head back down, feeling the need to hide my face before telling him.
“He did enough.” And it was true.
Damage is done the moment a creep forces himself in bed with you, and anything after that is just added torture. I’d had a couple get that far, get in the bed, before my struggling, or outside circumstances, forced them back out. Only one went past that. A foster brother, only a few months before he aged out, when I was twelve. He never went all the way with it and I never knew what stopped him.
It wasn’t every night. Not even every other night. But the fear, knowing that any moment he could walk through that door, knowing that the grownups down the hall were too boozed up to hear your struggles until you eventually just stopped struggling, stopped fighting it since it’d be over faster if you did. Not knowing if he were going to stop this time, or finally finish ruining you.
My social worker had finally noticed the bruises on my wrists and placed me in a different home before he took that last step with me, but I never told her what happened. Just not something you talk about, not when most of the other girls, and boys, whom you knew had been through something similar at one point or another.
I didn’t tell all this to Dover, either. Didn’t have to, apparently, since after a very colorful string of words, he gently pulled me to him again.
“I’m so sorry, Della. I had no idea,” he said, his voice muffled by my hair.
“Well, next time just make sure you ask permission, don’t use your bossy voice,” I told him, ready for this conversation to be over.
“I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m about to get in bed with you.” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“That’s not what I meant.” But I’d walked right into that one, and I struggled not to giggle, glad my face was hidden in his chest since I was sure I was blushing again.
“I’ll keep it in mind, anyway. Just in case,” he said, just seconds before his breathing evened out, signaling he’d fallen asleep. I snuggled in closer, letting myself breathe in his scent, one I now associated with comfort and safety, and drifted off myself.
January 9
th
, 1969
Dear Journal,
Don’t have long to write, yet so much has happened these last two days. First, Anise and T did well at their testing. They both have the support for when, or if in T’s case, they take over as leader of our families. I will write more on this when I have more time, for I must write the following down while it is still fresh in my mind!
The meeting wit
h the Healer family, the Balints, was very intriguing. First of all, calling them both Healers isn’t completely accurate. The woman, Renie, is a witch! Well, she is a gypsy, and can read the cards. At first I thought she was just another charlatan since I did not recognize the power in her. But I soon discovered that I did not recognize it because it was so foreign to me. I Tempered a little Fire to get a look at her aura, and it reminded me of the Natives’ in its simplicity, though an affinity for Spirit was threaded through it. Her accent was very thick, but despite our troubles communicating I have a feeling that we will become fast friends. I plan on calling on her soon to see if she can help me out with my own readings, as they are becoming ever more unclear. Her husband, Eli, is the true Healer, and never before has a statement been more accurate. He needs no herbs, or prayers, or incantations that the other Healers I’ve known require. He simply lays his hand on something, and the Healing begins! I even tested him by taking the small knife I keep on my person and running it down my arm. The cut wasn’t deep, and only a couple of inches long. But it took only a minute to heal it, and that was with a handkerchief in his hand to prevent himself from getting bloodied! Not even a scar was left behind, the healing was so complete, and it didn’t hurt in the least. Everywhere his hands touched I could feel warmth as his power did its job. Mark and I agree; they are a welcome addition to our fight here.
I woke up slowly the following morning, limbs tangled with Dove’s. It was my first time sleeping with a guy, and as soon as I realized that the pillow I was drooling on was his shoulder, I removed myself from his hold as quickly as possible and sat up. I was glad he didn’t wake up since I would have felt incredibly awkward.
I took a moment to stretch my arm and roll my head around. Other than being slightly stiff, I felt great, and looking at my arms and legs, all I could see was unblemished skin. Dove had some powerful mojo. My ribs were still tender, but it didn’t inhibit my movement any, as I found out when I jumped about twenty feet in the air after standing up out of bed and stepping onto something squishy.
“Ow!” came Cash’s muffled voice from a tangle of blankets on my floor.
“Cash, what are you doing in here?” I tried yelling at him in a hushed voice. It didn’t work.
“Della?” He pulled the blankets off of himself and stood up to look me over. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?” His grey eyes were full of concern, and I had a certain urge to spin in a circle and say “tada!” so he could see that I was healed.
“I’m fine. Why were you sleeping on my floor? Were you there all night?” Had he been there, and awake, for my little freak-out? I didn’t want people to know, and knew I was going to have trouble making eye contact with Dove now that he was in on the secret. I couldn’t stand it if things got weird with Cash, too.
“Yeah I was, just wanted to keep an eye on you.” He grabbed his T-shirt off the floor and threw it back over his head.
“Was it that bad? Be honest.”
“Yeah, Della, it was. I knew you were going to be fine though. Dove’s the best, better than his father, even. But I wasn’t going to just stay in the other room while some guy was sleeping with my cousin. Screw that. So, do I have to kill him? Did he get handsy?”
My eyes welled up at his words. His over-protectiveness was exactly what I needed to hear, even if it proved that he was an unevolved cave man.
“Wait,
do
I need to kick his ass?” He clearly misunderstood my watery eyes.
“No you don’t. But thanks for offering, just in case.”
“Anytime, and I mean that. Any boy who even talks to you, no, looks at you, and I’ll get him.”
I could hear the smile in his voice and knew he was joking, but I still pushed him a little and called him a Neanderthal under my breath. Then I gave him a very quick, tight hug, grabbed some clothes, and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed, leaving Cash with his mouth hanging open at my little display of affection. My “no hugging” rule hadn’t gone unnoticed in the Neales’ affectionate household. Dove stayed asleep through it all, snoring very softly.
While I was brushing my hair after my shower, I took in my appearance for the first time in ages. My skin had a healthy tan, and even though my hair was still wet, it looked a little lighter, more dirty blonde than the mousy brown it had always been. I had even gained a smattering of freckles on my shoulders. The sun was changing me. No this place was changing me. My ribs ached when I tried to put my hair into its usual ponytail, so I settled with braiding to the side of my neck.
I followed the delicious smell of, you guessed it, bacon downstairs and into the kitchen. Aunt Ellis was just pulling a tray full of biscuits out, and Uncle Connor was already at the kitchen table talking to a woman with long, straight black hair, and cinnamon colored skin. Dove had claimed Native American heritage and I realized this must be his mother, only then remembering that she had also spent the night. The two of them looked up at me as I approached.
“Della, how are you feeling?” My uncle asked, standing up to get a better look at my appearance.
“My ribs are still a little tender, but I feel fine other than that. Just a little stiff, I guess,” I replied, but he continued raking his gaze over my arms and face to judge for himself.
“Here, sit down. This is Dover’s mother, Heather Balint. She came in last night to help the situation out a little.” He pulled out a chair for me right next to Heather, where I sat before turning to greet her.
“It’s nice to meet you, Heather. Uh, thank you for the help.” I had no idea what she did to help the night before, other than help Aunt Ellis clean me up, and I think it showed because she quickly explained what she did.
“Nice to see you up and awake. Really, my son did all the real work last night. I burned some herbs to aid in healing and dreamless sleep, plus made a salve that would keep away infection just in case. I can’t heal the way my son and husband can.” Well, that explained the smell in my room, at least. “Of course, I also had to bring some things for Dove.”
“How did he do it? I mean, he fixed my stubbed toe a while back, but…”
“But you had a lot more than just a stubbed toe last night. Thanks to my husband and me, both Dover and Clara have quite an array of inherited abilities, so it’s turned out a bit different for both of them. My husband, for instance, can only heal by hands, like his father and grandfather before him. And he has to concentrate on the task. Dove, on the other hand, can heal with his whole body. He can also passively heal, which means he can do it in his sleep. It’s why we bunked him down with you last night.”
“Oh,” I said eloquently, blushing slightly at the fact that she knew, and approved of, our spending the night in the same bed. Just then Cash crashed into the kitchen, kissed his mom on the cheek, then plopped down in the seat next to me, tugging my braid as he walked behind me to get to his chair.
“Breakfast time!” he all but sang, holding onto his fork and knife on either side of the placemat like a barbarian. His blond hair was damp, meaning he had probably jumped in the shower after me. Uncle Connor and Aunt Ellis started placing all the food in front of us, family style.
“Aren’t we going to wait for Dove?” I asked when we all started plating our food.
“No, he’ll probably be sleeping for most of the day. He has to get his energy the old fashioned way: through sleep and food, and last night exhausted him,” Heather told me, while pouring a little honey on a biscuit.
“Oh,” I replied, then went about fixing my own plate like everyone else and started digging in. I was starving.
“Della, sweetheart, how are you feeling today?” my aunt asked me when she finally took her seat across from me.
“Good. I mean, I’m starving and still kind of tired, I guess. I feel a little weak, like I’m coming down with something.”
“Hmm. Do you mind telling me what happened last night?” Uncle Connor asked. “Cash and Dover told us what they could, but I’d like to hear your side of things, if you feel up to it.”
Since he was the family leader-guy, it was his job to ask. So I told him everything, starting from my Fire-Tempered walk and when I noticed the light. When I got to the part about the Clade breaking through my Shield, and how I Gathered energy from sources that didn’t seem elemental, my uncle’s brow creased in a frown of confusion, one shared by his son and wife. When I was done with my recap of the previous night, he just sat there with his hands folded in his lap for a few minutes.
“Heather, why don’t you go check up on your son?” he finally said. It sounded like a bit more than a suggestion since his voice held a level of command I’d never encountered from him before. He waited to speak again until we heard her footsteps on the stairs.
“Della, have you tried Gathering today?” he finally asked.
“Oh, uh, no. Was I supposed to?” I knew that I had emptied myself out the night before, and unless I had unconsciously gathered during the night, I was still running on E.
“Well, not technically, but you shouldn’t be feeling so weak still. Dover’s abilities do the healing, not your body, so you shouldn’t be feeling drained.”
“So Gathering will make me feel better?”
“I don’t know. It shouldn’t, you shouldn’t be feeling any different when your Well is empty. Is it empty, still?” I checked quickly, then nodded my head. He made a motion as if saying “go ahead with it” so I started Gathering, instantly feeling better: more secure, more sound.
“Well, now I know what to do next time a battle with a Clade nearly wipes me out.” I meant it as a little joke, but nobody around the table seemed to find it funny.
“Now that we have that figured out, we need to find out why there was a Clade here in the first place,” Connor said.
“And why they were after Della,” Ellis added.
“We don’t know for sure they were after her. She said she was Tempering while walking down the beach. They could have just pegged her for a member of our family and decided to attack on that basis alone. I have a meeting this afternoon with the Elfennol council.” My uncle took a sip of his coffee, but the gesture made it seem like he was hiding something.
“But Dad…” Cash started, before a look from his father kept him from completing his sentence. I knew something wasn’t being said. Perhaps two somethings.
“What aren’t you telling me? I know you’re hiding something.” I would have waited to ask Cash about whatever it was, but I was sick of my uncle withholding things from me. If Cash hadn’t spilled the beans about the Clades earlier, I don’t know that I would have recognized the threat until it was too late.
“I’m not…”
“Don’t give me that! You are absolutely keeping things from me. I’m not a child! Connor, please just tell me what’s on your mind.” If it had been a few months previous, or even a few weeks, I never would have asked outright. I would have forgotten it, convinced that finding out my answers would cause more trouble than it was worth. But I was changing. Della 2.0 cared about things enough to ask about them.
“Dad, if you don’t tell her what you’re thinking right now, I will. At least what I think you’re thinking.”
“Okay, okay. Della, do you know anything about your father?” Connor asked, defeated.
“No, not really. Well, there was this letter in the safety-deposit box, and a picture in the bag with my armlet, but I don’t know that it was from my father. What does he have to do with anything, anyway?” I still wore the armlet constantly; I even had a tan line from it.
“Well, what you were telling us, about running out of elements and still being able to Gather. You shouldn’t be able to do that from those things. It probably means that your father has his own abilities, and that it’s possible that there are more things you are capable of that we don’t know about.”
“Oh. Wouldn’t you guys have an idea of who he was? Aunt Ellis, you said that you two were best friends. Wouldn’t she have told you about him?” I thought best friends always gushed about the guys they were with.
“No, honey. But your granddaddy was really hard on her, so she would have kept a secret like that close to her chest. For a little while I did think she had a beau, but before I had a chance to ask her about it, it seemed that it had already run its course. I didn’t know who it was or anything; she just seemed like a woman in love. Cash was about two already, so I didn’t make the time I should have for her. Then one day she was just gone. No note, just some missing suitcases.” All these years later and Aunt Ellis still sounded surprised by my mom’s disappearance.
“There’s something else, too, Della. Last night, while you were Tempering, did you leave your Shield down?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
“I don’t want you to worry too much since it was probably a coincidence, but the Clade shouldn’t have been able to sense you with your Shield up.”