Gator (2 page)

2

Gator was losing his mind.  He was trying so damned hard to keep his head, but he couldn’t stand it.  Tiffany, he couldn’t think of her as Naughty right now, she had just gone white as a sheet and melted to the stage. 

He ran both hands through his black hair.

He had almost missed tonight’s show.  He’d told himself it was better if he just didn’t watch her anymore, but he couldn’t stay away.  If Naughty was dancing, he wanted to watch her, even if there were two dozen other men watching too, even if one of his brothers took her to a private room for a dance.  Even if he had to watch those bastards groping her.

She was his woman.

It didn’t matter that she didn’t accept that yet and she would be pissed beyond belief if she knew he’d officially put her on the no fuck list, but he had to, she was his.  No way he would let his brothers take her upstairs when she belonged to him.

He had known it the first time he’d laid eyes on her, but he’d had to earn the right to claim her.  It had almost been more than he could handle.

He gritted his teeth when Jack leaned in close to her.  He had no claim on her, she wouldn’t allow it, but she was his.  She was his the same way his left hand belonged to his arm.  He hated the distance she kept between them, but he allowed it.  For some reason she needed it and he couldn’t take it away from her.  She had lost so much. 

She had let him in while he held her, but it was only her fear that allowed it.  Everything would go back to normal once she was alright again, but he lived for those moments.  He lived for those times she let him touch her and laugh with her.

She was beautiful in the mornings when she was just coming out of sleep.  She didn’t have walls up in those moments.  She gave him a few minutes after sex too, but damn he was usually pretty out of it too because she was one amazing woman between the sheets.  He wanted a lifetime of those little moments.

Jack said something back to her and Gator watched her relax.  What the fuck was she hiding from him now?  She knew he hated that shit and she did it to keep him at a distance.  She knew it ate him up inside to think of the things she could hide from him, but she was right, he did know her.  He knew she didn’t have anyone on the side.  She almost hated men.  She let him in against her will and because she feared him a little and he didn’t do what she expected him to.  Maybe that was wrong of him, but he needed to get to her.  She was his drug.  She was his everything.

No, she didn’t hide men from him, but she did hide what she thought she needed to.  Just like that fucking money she’d borrowed.  She’d refused to tell him what it was for, but he’d given it to her and watched her like a hawk.  She could have been killed for that shit, but she’d insisted on handling it on her own.  Made no sense to him, but women rarely did.

Gator had been scared shitless.  He loved the club, but they didn’t know what he’d do for this woman, anything.  He would take her away and hide her in the swamps until the world forgot either of them existed.  He would give up everything if need be, but he wouldn’t let anything hurt her.  Not ever.

He closed his eyes for a second to gather himself.  He had thought he’d loved a woman before, but it had been different.  Everything had been different then.  He had been too stupid to see clearly, not this time, not ever again.

The paramedics rushed in and lifted Naughty on a stretcher.  Gator stepped forward to make sure they knew he planned to ride along and heard Jack talking to one of them.  Those words changed Gator forever.  He would never be the same again.  He felt his whole body tingle even as his stomach hit his feet.

“Be careful what you give her.  She’s pregnant.”

Gator’s eyes met Jack’s as he spoke more to Gator than to the paramedic.

“Not far along, but I’ve seen signs and she wanted to make sure you knew.  She wants this baby and whatever is in her system was not taken willingly so I’d say pump her stomach.”  He took the paramedic by the arm.  “You make damned sure that kid is alright or I’ll take it out of your hide.  This girl has lost too much already.”

The paramedic made a note and rushed to the ambulance.  Gator followed close behind.

“I’m going.”  He met the paramedic’s eyes and the young woman stepped back.  She eyed him carefully, but made no effort to talk to him as she ran her hands over Naughty and tried to wake her.

Naughty’s pained, blue eyes opened and she found Gator by her side.  She reached up for his hand and he gripped her as gently as he could in his nervous state.

“You’ll be alright Beb.”  He nodded for emphasis.  “My pretty girl will be jus’ fine.”

Gator wanted to rip something apart when her eyes filled with tears.  They leaked out of her eyes and ran down her pretty face and each one ripped a huge bloody ravine in his heart.

“I didn’t Gator.  You have to believe me.”  She shook her head hard.  “I didn’t take anything.  I swear.”

“I do.  I do.  Don’ you worry over dat love.  I believe you just fine.”  He ran his thumb over her tears and dried them.  Naughty had cried enough tears.  She should always be happy for the rest of her life.

“You got to remember dat I know you.”

“Gator….  I’m…”

The paramedic was in Naughty’s face.  “I need to know what you took.  I need to know how to treat this and I can’t unless I know what you took.  You have to tell me right now.  Pills or did you do something else.  It matters.”

Naughty shook her head.  “I didn’t take anything.”

The paramedic frowned and took in the picture Naughty made lying on the stretcher covered in body glitter and stage makeup. 

“Look, I’m not judging, but if you want to live, I suggest you tell me.  I can’t force it, but if you wait much longer you risk losing the baby, unless,” she shrugged, “that’s what you want.”  She tilted her head and frowned down at Naughty.

Gator was going to kill the woman.  His hand shot out and gripped the female paramedic’s throat until she gasped.

“I don’ know what da fuck your problem is, but you’d better get it handled before I break you goddamned neck.  She wants this baby.  We both do, now you figure this shit out and get that huge fucking chip off your shoulder or you’ll be the one needing a hospital.”

He let go and she gasped for breath.  “I’ll press charges!”

“You do dat and you’ll learn real fast who my friends are.  Say one fucking word and I’ll ruin your whole life.”  He grinned a smile that was nowhere near nice.  “If I allow you to keep living it.”

Gator pulled his beads from under his shirt and started twisting them around his finger.  He knew he looked creepy with the beads and tattoos, but that was the point.

The woman let out a long breath and crossed herself.  She carefully sat beside Naughty and questioned her again.

Gator tuned her out as he stroked Naughty’s beautiful hair.  They would be at the hospital soon and someone would take care of this.  They had to.

Life couldn’t be that cruel.

3

Naughty opened her eyes to a dimly lit hospital room.  She tried to figure out if she was whole by the way that she felt, but she couldn’t.  The pain was gone at least and that was good, but she found her hand creeping up to cover her tummy.  It was still flat so she couldn’t tell if her little child still rested there.  She held back a sob that would do her no good.  She needed facts, not to let her imagination run wild.

“Hello?”  She whispered and Viki’s face appeared above her. 

She loved Viki.  She was kind and understood how crappy life could be and she was still sweet and kind.  She didn’t judge Naughty for the choices she’d made in life, she understood because hers had sucked too.  Viki’s life had changed when she’d become Jack’s old lady and found her happy ending.  Not everybody got one of those, but Naughty was happy Viki did.

“Hey there Mighty Mouse.”  Naughty said.  Viki hated the moniker, but it had sort of stuck since she’d been a club mouse not too long ago, but she had grown strong enough to shoulder her past.

Naughty envied her that and admired her for it.

“Well, just for that I won’t give you this nice clean water.”  Viki grinned and held the straw away for a second before pressing it to Naughty’s lips.

“You can’t be mean Viki.  It’s not in your nature.”  Naughty let herself relax against the pillows.  “Ever seen a mouse turn on the cat?”

“Oh I have my moments don’t you think I don’t.”  Viki quipped.

Naughty smiled.  “Squeak squeak...So tell me…”

Viki tilted her head and smiled.  “Tell you what Tiff?  That you look like microwaved shit?  Done.”

“Shit.  You have grown a mean streak.  Stop hanging out with Lawless.”  She took another sip of water.  “Total bad influence.”

Viki let out a laugh.  “That is the God’s honest truth right there.”

“What happened?”  Naughty finally asked.

“I’m not really all that sure sweetie.  Jack just told me to sit with you until Gator got back.”  Viki shook her head.  “He is crazy over you Tiff and he is damned scary when he goes all voodoo on people.  Damn.  I almost pissed my panties when the doctor got smart with him and he started running his finger over that tattoo on his arm, the one with those swirly symbols that look like ghosts.”  VIki shivered.

Gator was a big sweetheart.  The art on his body was mostly in memorial to family or something from his youth.  It was something he didn’t talk about very much, but they meant something to him.  He didn’t know anymore voodoo that she did, but people liked to believe what their eyes told them.

“Where did he go?”  She croaked.

“Church.”

Jack and Gator weren’t officers yet, but they were often included in minor business and they were often positioned at the doors to keep the meetings safe.

It was a position of sorts.  One step closer to having a seat at the table.  Choo-Choo and Tommy were in the same boat.  They all seemed pretty ok with it.  Naughty thought she would be too.  The officers handled too much crazy shit for it to be much fun.

Naughty didn’t know everything about how the club did business, but she knew a few things. 

Hang arounds wanted to make prospect.  Prospect wanted to make brother.  Brothers wanted to make officer and earn a seat at the table.  Officers made the decisions.

Naughty didn’t want that for Gator though. She had watched a few of the brothers that sat at that table and they seemed to get harder overnight.  They found out things and were expected to do things that changed them in a way that made them scary, made them cold.

That wasn’t Gator.

“Is he mad at me?”  Naughty asked with a lump in her throat.

“I wouldn’t know about that, but I do know that he was almost out of his mind when I got here.  Out.  Of.  His.  Mind.  He couldn’t understand why you were still sleeping.”

Naughty hated that she had put him through that.

“I really need to talk to him.  Any idea when he’ll be back?”

“Pretty soon honey.  I doubt he’d stay gone too long.  He almost took Jack’s head off for suggesting he leave last night.”  Viki sighed.   She scrunched up her pert little nose causing her freckles to bunch up. 

“Will you stay with me?”  Naughty asked.  She hadn’t been this afraid in a long time.  “I really don’t want to be on my own right now.”

“Of course I will honey.”

Viki settled back into her chair and Naughty tried to rest.

She had let herself feel too much for Gator, but she hadn’t been able to help herself.  He had slipped into her life and under her guard before she’d been able to see how dangerous he was to her heart. 

She had thought he was the last man that would thaw her heart.  He had actually annoyed her to the point that she couldn’t help but get angry.

He had used her anger to make her open up.

After anger he had made her laugh, then had paid attention to her in a way no one ever had.  He had figured out what she liked and made sure she had it.  He made sure he left her the kind of granola bars she liked and the type of candy that made her eyes roll back in her head.  He always made sure there was a bottle of water waiting for her when she got off stage.

He wasn’t like the others though.  He just made sure it was there, he didn’t need her to know it was from him.  He didn’t need the show of it all, he just wanted to make sure she was alright.

It meant more.

It had happened slowly.  He had taken months of tiny steps to get her attention.

Then he had touched her and all of her walls had crumbled.  He hadn’t come on strong like the others, no, that can be resisted.  Gator touched her hand, he ran a finger over her cheek to get her hair out of her face.

Gator treated her like she was a real woman, not a stripper.  He respected her.

Her only safety was in the fact that he didn’t seem to know how completely she belonged to him, but even that would soon be only dust.  She was carrying his baby and nothing on earth would keep him from being there for her.

She felt that familiar fear rear up to choke her, but she fought it back.  She deserved this.  She deserved to be happy again and nothing said that wouldn’t happen with Gator.  There was a real possibility of it if she could just let him in.

She had never really been good at doing what she knew she should, but who knew, maybe this time it would stick.