His thumb stroked hers. “There are some things I can’t, unless you and I were…you know, officially together for the long term. Confidentiality agreements.”
“You aren’t just an investment manager.”
He took a deep breath and slowly let it out again, much as she had earlier. “Dewi’s parents didn’t die. They were murdered. And she was only six months old. Her mother was raped, and Dewi was viciously attacked. Everyone thought she might not make it.”
“Oh, lord. That poor girl.” She felt a little of her jealousy toward the other woman temper and fade.
“Her brothers were both older, grown. Badger helped raise her, not because her brothers both had families, and then the family business suddenly thrust upon them, but because no one knew who killed Dewi’s parents. They were afraid they might come back and try to kill her.”
* * * *
Beck didn’t want to lie to Nami, so he skirted the edge of the truth as much as he could without drifting into revealing too much. “As you can see from Badger’s scar, he’s not a man used to losing a battle.”
“How did that happen?”
“I don’t know all the details, but from what I’ve heard, if you think he looks bad, you should have seen the other man.”
“Wow.”
“Yes. Badger was related to Dewi’s father. They have a very large extended family, and Badger was the best one to take over and raise her. When she became a teenager, her brothers moved her out here to Florida to go to high school. In Idaho, she was limited to private schools. Living here, no one knew who or where she was, except them. They wanted her to have a shot at a normal life.”
“As normal as any teenager?”
He smiled. “Exactly.” He stroked her fingers, glad that she’d made that small gesture, of holding hands with him. He’d savor every second of contact he had with her. “I moved out here to help. Like I said, I’ve known Dewi her whole life. I won’t lie and say I don’t love her, because I do. But I love her as a friend. Family. We’re both realists. She ran the risk of me meeting and falling in love with someone else before she did. But we were a safe choice for each other. Especially once she had to work full-time taking care of the family business here, and didn’t have time for a social life. Does that make sense?”
He still felt the strong, prickly edges of Nami’s jealousy about Dewi. He could even see flashes of it in her mind, of her disbelief that Beck would be interested in her, despite the differences in their body types and that Nami thought Beck was younger than her.
What Beck wished he could show her was what surged through his heart, through his soul, the intangible mate connection that trumped all else. In his eyes, Nami was perfection, no matter how she saw herself. From her closely cropped hair, to her swells and curves, everything.
She was
his
,
meant
for him. And her outer package meant nothing, because what had him hard and horny was her soul, what lay within her.
She might see herself as an overweight woman approaching middle-age, but when he looked at her he saw a beautiful goddess.
“Where are you expecting this to go?” she quietly asked.
“I’m not in this for a quick lay or a fun weekend. I’m in this for as long as you will let me be in your life. I’m looking for forever.” He was prepared for her to react to that, to maybe pull away, or at least pull her hands free. Her body tensed, but she didn’t break contact with him.
“Forever’s a long, long time. And you don’t even know me yet.”
“That’s why I want to get to know you. To learn everything about you. Let you get to know me.”
Beck felt doubt, reserve, and hope roiling around inside Nami’s soul.
He also felt the massive boulder of fear, not just over all of this, but, he suspected, her worry that he would pass judgment on her over something.
Maybe about her father. That had seemed a rather sore topic for her. While he was curious, he wouldn’t press her about it. Not now. Maybe later, if she felt she could open up to him…
When. Not if.
He knew he needed to think positively.
“Tell me about your other job,” he said. “You mentioned something about a dressmaker?”
Beck watched her eyes light up, her speech grow animated as she talked about her friend Lara’s shop, how she worked part-time for her as a seamstress, the fun she had crafting custom dresses and gowns for special occasions.
He felt it ironic that she took great pleasure in making other women feel beautiful, and yet she didn’t feel that way about herself.
“Did you go to college?” he asked.
Her expression clouded. “I dropped out before I got my degree. Architecture.”
Beck mentally kicked himself for bringing her back around to that darker topic. “Tell me about your family. Your brother and sisters.”
And as Nami pulled herself back out of her mental funk again, Beck watched her transform once more, this time with pride over how they had bright futures, even her sometimes problematic brother.
“You know, Ken used to teach computer science over at USF before he started working for Dewi’s family. If your brother ever needs any help with his classwork, I’m sure Ken would be happy to offer any guidance he could.”
Nami gently squeezed his hands. “I appreciate that offer. I’ll make sure to pass it along, once we’ve eased him into whatever this is that you and I have.” She disengaged her hands from his and slowly sat back. Despite her wearing a playful smile, Beck wanted to howl with disappointment, lunge across the table, and grab her hands again.
Wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her.
She glanced at her watch. “Oh, wow. I didn’t realize it was almost eleven. I really need to head home.”
When she stood, Beck did as well. “Thank you again for this, Nami.”
“I have one more question for you.” She shouldered her purse, crossing her arms over her chest. “Who was that guy you and Dewi were chasing that day on my bus? What was that about?”
Beck had already prepared an answer for that. Again, not exactly a lie, just not the entire truth. “He’s a dead-beat dad to one of our extended family. Chronic baby daddy. The momma of not one, but two of his babies found out just how much he’d been catting around, so she asked if we could help her track him down so she could hold him responsible for child support.”
“Serve him with papers?”
“Basically. She couldn’t afford to hire a private investigator, so she asked us for help finding him and bringing him to her so she could hold him responsible.”
“Oh.” He could tell Nami thought there might be more to the story than that, but she seemed willing to believe him. “So you weren’t like goons going to break his kneecap or something?”
He smiled. “No.” Last he’d heard from Badger, James Palver’s bones remained unbroken. “All we did was help out a friend. She’s in government subsidized housing, having trouble making ends meet with a baby and a toddler.”
What Linda Small did to James now that he was stuck living with her full-time, however, remained to be seen.
Nami’s expression softened, her body language opening up a little. “Well, I’ve basically been there. Although not from being pregnant, so I guess that’s something. We got a little from Social Security in death benefits for my siblings. WIC, food stamps. Lived in the projects for too many years because there wasn’t enough money to go anywhere else. At least driving a bus, I was able to get them health care. That was something.”
“You’re a good woman,” he said, closing the distance between them. “I really respect what you’ve done. Some people would have given up.”
“I never give up on my family.”
He smiled. “Then that’s something else we have in common.”
Chapter Fifteen
After paying her respects and bidding good-night to the others, Beck walked Nami outside to her car.
“So, may I pick you up tomorrow night and take you out to dinner? My treat.”
Nami leaned against her car and stared up at him. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable letting you pay for my dinner this soon.”
“Then at least let me pick you up. Please?”
What harm could come of that? They were out in the middle of nowhere. If Beck had wanted to harm her, he easily could have done something tonight, with his friends to give him an alibi.
But he’d been nothing but a perfect gentleman.
“Seven o’clock,” she finally said. “I’ll text you my address.”
His beaming smile nearly broke her heart and melted her panties off her at the same time. “Thank you. And the texting and calling thing, you can feel free to text or call me as much as you want. Or if you need me, day or night. If I’m in a meeting or something, I will reply as soon as I can.”
“Deal.” She stood there, Beck obviously in no rush to move, either. “Why did we meet here instead of your place?”
“I’m staying here until Martin gets a place of his own. I’m letting him use my house in Lutz until he closes on a house shortly. We use the office here, and I’m here almost every day, anyway, and they have plenty of guest rooms. I lived here for a while before I got my own house. I felt it fairer to offer my place to Martin, since he uprooted his life to move to Florida and take the job with us.”
“Ken doesn’t have a problem with his fiancée’s ex staying in the same house?”
“Ken and I are friends. Dewi and I never hid our past from him. There was no reason to. I respect Ken. I know people might look at him and see a computer geek, but believe me, he’s a lot tougher than most people realize.”
Nami realized she was stalling. She didn’t want to peel herself away from Beck. Not yet.
But she had to get home and go to sleep, although she suspected sleep would be fleeting and restless tonight as she replayed the evening in her head. “How about a good night hug?” she asked.
He positively beamed. “I’d like that.”
She set her purse on the roof of her car and stepped in, hugging him, feeling how perfectly her body seemed to mold against his. Her head rested against his chest at the perfect height for her to hear his heart racing inside his chest.
Mine.
That faint word bored straight through her body, to her clit.
His arms encircled her, held her tightly.
The last thing she wanted to do was break this contact with him. This was the absolutely most perfect hug she’d ever felt in her life.
She looked up to find herself staring into his blue eyes. In the moonlight, they looked like a deep blue.
Before she could chicken out, she raised up on her toes, slid her left hand around behind his neck, and pulled him down for a long, deep kiss that stole her breath away. He tasted the same as he had that first time, on the bus, and it was like she now craved him. A drug. A need.
Mine.
When she finally broke contact with him, the thought that diving into his bed at that moment was a damn good idea finally made her take a breath and try to pull herself together.
“Thank you for a lovely evening, Beck,” she whispered, voice trembling. “The only promise I can make you right now is that I will give you a chance. But I warn you, if you violate my trust, even once, you will never see me again. Do I make myself clear?”
He nodded. “Absolutely.”
She couldn’t help it. She wanted one more taste of him. Another kiss, this time forcing herself not to deepen it the way she wanted.
The man was sin on a stick, and she couldn’t help but feel the hard bulge in his slacks from the way she was pressed against her.
That made her smile as she released him and stepped back. Maybe he wouldn’t be the only one rubbing one out tonight.
“I do have another rule,” she said.
“And that is?”
“If you want this chance, we have to be exclusive while we’re trying it out. I’m not talking no going out with friends, but we don’t date anyone else. We also don’t sleep with anyone else. Not,” she quickly added, “that you and I will be sleeping together right away, either. Understand?”
“Understood, and whole-heartedly agreed.”
“Then I’ll see you tomorrow night at seven,” she said. “I’ll text you my address when I get home.”
“I’ll be waiting.
He helped her into her car, closing the door for her and standing on the front porch until she’d made the turn onto the driveway and headed through the trees once more. As the house disappeared from sight, she thought she heard a howl, even through her closed windows.
Must be some coyote getting his jollies on in these woods.
Lately, the news had frequently covered reports of coyotes moving into the Tampa Bay area.
* * * *
Beck stood on the front porch and waited until her taillights were out of sight.