Read Geek Girls Don't Date Dukes Online
Authors: Gina Lamm
Tags: #Romance, #Literature & Fiction, #United States, #Regency, #Science Fiction & Fantasy, #Time Travel
muscle, but with skin stretched directly over bone. His
hand was cool in hers, and the other bled a chill into the
small of her back. She shivered.
“You are cold,” he said in his too- soft voice. “Let me
warm you.”
She didn’t resist as he drew her close in his arms. Her
heart thumped faster in excited delight. Her destined
true love was holding her in his arms. Could anything be
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 68
4/11/13 11:26 AM
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
69
more perfect? She rested her cheek against his chest with
a contented sigh.
It was cold.
She was pressed full against his body, but instead of
the comforting warmth she’d expected, he was icy from
head to toe. Pulling away from him, she looked up into
his face.
And screamed.
“You simpleton, wake up.”
Leah sat bolt upright with a gasp, her eyes flying
open. Sarah and the other girl were dressing across the
room, the light from their candles dancing crazily as they
chatted and giggled. Henrietta stood beside the bed,
glaring down at Leah. In her hands was the blanket. No
wonder Leah had dreamed about being cold.
“You will be late if you do not hurry. I shouldn’t care
if you were, but Mrs. Harper bade me wake you.”
“Oh my gosh,” Leah moaned, gripping her head.
It ached with a thumping pain. What a freaking weird
dream. But she didn’t have time to analyze it. She swung
her feet off the side of the bed and winced at the chilly
touch of the wooden floor. Without a word to Leah,
the other three girls left the room. If she hadn’t been so
absorbed in her own headache, it might have bothered
her. As it was, she could barely stagger over to the drawer
in the bureau that had been designated as hers.
The predawn sky was lightening slightly, but even
with a candle it was tough to dig her way through the
drawer. Finally her fingers closed around a small leather
pouch she’d secreted in her skirt before making her
journey through the mirror. She opened the zipper with
relief and spread the contraband on the windowsill.
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 69
4/11/13 11:26 AM
70
Gina Lamm
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
A toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. Tampons. A
bottle of Advil and a box of throat lozenges for the cold
that had been threatening her since last week. A bar
of her favorite vanilla and coconut soap, and a stick of
deodorant. A picture of Pawpaw, smiling as he worked
on an ancient tractor. She popped open the bottle of
Advil and swallowed two dry. Looking down at the
picture, she said, “Morning, Pawpaw.” She traced the
photo with a fingernail. She’d ridden on that tractor
many times as a child, her grandfather holding her
securely in his lap. Things were so much simpler then.
Shaking off her reverie, she brushed her teeth with
water from the pitcher and made quick work of washing
off as best she could with a rag and her soap. She donned
her uniform, wincing at the still- damp fabric. It couldn’t
be helped though. By the time her hair was all tucked
beneath her cap, her stockings were on, and her boots
were laced, the black of night had faded to the hazy gray
of early dawn on the horizon.
She gathered up her treasure trove and replaced the
pouch in the drawer beneath her dress. Her headache
was starting to fade around the edges a little, and gratitude flooded her as she descended the stairs to the servant’s
hall. If nothing else, Jamie’s journey had prepared her to
rough it here in the past. It wasn’t going to be easy, but
she was sure she was up to the challenge.
Well, she thought she was until she discovered just
how much a pain in the ass being an underhousemaid
could be.
“Good morning.” Leah smiled at Mrs. Harper as she
descended the stairs.
The white- haired housekeeper scowled at her. “You
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 70
4/11/13 11:26 AM
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
71
are very nearly late again, Ramsey. Granville House
servants are expected to be prompt at all times.”
Fighting the urge to protest, Leah scrambled to her
seat at the dining table. Nobody else seemed to be there
for breakfast yet, but clearly Mrs. Harper had risen from
the wrong side of the coffin. No use fighting that kind
of bad attitude. Clearly this woman needed to roll a solid
plus five to positivity.
“What are you doing?” Mrs. Harper’s nostrils flared.
Leah put on her best contrite look. “Aren’t we
having breakfast?”
The housekeeper looked at her as if she’d shat in His
Grace’s boots. “You must work to earn your breakfast,
girl. Now follow me.”
Blowing out an exasperated breath, Leah rose and
trudged after the housekeeper. Was she ever going to
stop screwing up? It hadn’t seemed like being a servant
should be this hard. Hopefully she’d just polish a few
pieces of silver and then have a good breakfast to make
up for her lack of sleep. Longing for the coziness of her
memory- foam mattress, she followed Mrs. Harper down
the dim hallway.
“Attend me, Ramsey.” Mrs. Harper’s heels clicked
on the polished wood floors, and Leah hustled to keep
up with her. “These tasks are to be done every morning
upon rising. The house must be cleaned and aired, all
superfluous articles put into their proper places, the
fireplaces and hearths brushed up. The hearths all washed
with soap and water, then carefully wiped dry with linen
cloth and new fires laid.” Leah hurried into a sitting
room behind Mrs. Harper, who didn’t slow down at all.
The woman opened the curtains and kept moving as she
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 71
4/11/13 11:26 AM
72
Gina Lamm
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
spoke. “Sweep all the carpets, then turn up the corners
to sweep away the dust upon the floor. Dust the window
sashes, and once or twice a week shake out the window
curtains and hangings. Are you attending me?”
All Leah could do was nod her head numbly. Her
brain throbbed, her headache having returned with a
vengeance. The enormity of her new job pressing in on
her, she followed Mrs. Harper through room after room
as the housekeeper pointed out different tasks for her to
complete. Why hadn’t she smuggled a vacuum and some
Magic Erasers through the mirror with her? This was
going to take forever.
“Attend to His Grace’s dressing room, and the dressing
rooms of any guests we have in residence. Empty the
slops, replenish the ewers with fresh water, clean the
fireplaces, brush the carpets, sweep the room, and make
ready for the valet to attend His Grace’s dressing. Once
these tasks have been completed, you may then, and
only
then, come down to your breakfast.”
Leah stopped dead in the middle of the hallway, her
jaw working soundlessly. Mrs. Harper had just listed
about two weeks worth of housework, and she was
supposed to get all this done before breakfast?
“I’m sorry,” Leah said, surging forward to intercept
the housekeeper before she could launch into another list
of duties. “I don’t think I heard correctly. I thought you
said all this had to be done before breakfast.”
Mrs. Harper’s mouth pursed. “That is what I said, yes.
It is the duty of a maid in your position to assist in all
these tasks. You are capable, I trust?”
“Of course,” Leah said hopefully.
Assist
was a good
word. There were other maids, so maybe that giant list
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 72
4/11/13 11:26 AM
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
73
the old bat had just rattled off was to be divided among
them all. If not, Leah probably wouldn’t be eating break-
fast for a few days. Weeks, maybe.
“Now then,” Mrs. Harper sniffed, “go along with
your duties. Henrietta and Sara are attending to the
breakfast room, so you may proceed to His Grace’s
dressing chambers. Once you have put them to rights,
come down and attend to the library. I shall direct your
movements thereafter.”
After shoving a coal scuttle and cleaning rags into
Leah’s hands, Mrs. Harper shooed her toward the duke’s
dressing rooms.
Timing her footsteps with the throbbing in her head,
Leah mounted the stairs, trying like hell to figure out
where this adventure had gone so horribly wrong. She
had a terrifying idea that
empty
the
slops
meant
take
care
of
the
chamber
pot
.
She hadn’t planned on cleaning the man’s toilet before
she’d even had the chance to say hello.
i
Avery rolled to his side on the thin mattress, his breath
hitching as his injured ribs caught with the movement.
Dropping his feet to the chilly floor, he rose, gritting his
teeth against the heavy pain of his bruises. A deep breath
blew the worst of the pain away, and he was able to bend
and light the candle at his bedside.
Dashing chilly water against his face, he made quick
work of his morning ablutions, careful of his healing skin.
Much as he hated to admit it, his wounds were not as both-
ersome as they could have been, thanks to Miss Ramsey’s
attentions. The rough cotton towel scraped against throat.
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 73
4/11/13 11:26 AM
74
Gina Lamm
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
Miss Ramsey. Leah. The memory of the strange and
beautiful girl stirred feelings that it should not. But the
concern on her face, the tender way she’d bandaged his
ribs, the sweet scent of her…
He bit back a curse. He should not think of her, no
matter how kindly she’d treated him. The girl wanted to
repay his kindness in helping her gain a position in the
house. Ascribing any more importance to the gesture
would be the folly. He did not have the luxury of court-
ship, and even were he so inclined, she was destined for a
much more advantageous match than with a man such as
he. Whether or not she would wed the duke, a woman
that beautiful deserved a mate who was her match. And
Avery was certainly the farthest man from that.
He dressed quickly, having wasted much more time
considering Miss Ramsey than he could afford. Avery
set his jaw and proceeded down the stairs to His Grace’s
dressing chambers. His duties would not wait for his
dreams to end.
As he neared the dressing room, hissed curses met his
ears. Quickening his stride, he arrived at the door just in
time to discover the source of the commotion.
Leah stood with one slipper toeing His Grace’s
chamber pot across the polished floor, her skirts caught
high against her thighs and her fingers pinching her
nostrils shut. The lid slipped and clanged as she prodded
the pot gingerly with her toes, her whispered oaths
coming fast on the heels of each clatter.
“Miss Ramsey,” Avery choked out, pointedly ignoring
the delectable length of leg her indecent show displayed,
“whatever are you doing?”
“I’m trying to get this out of here.” She punctuated
GeekGirlsDontDateDukes.indd 74
4/11/13 11:26 AM
Geek Girls Don’t Date Dukes
75
her statement with a particularly hard shove of her slipper
on the upper portion of the receptacle. Only Avery’s
quick thinking and faster movement prevented the
chamber pot from tipping over and spilling its contents
over the costly carpeting.
He set the pot upright, then lowered his brows into a
glower. “You must be silent, or you’ll wake His Grace.
Take this down to empty into the slops jar outside the
house. The night soil man collects it there.”
She didn’t release her nostrils, speaking in an odd,
nasally tone. “I can’t touch that.”
“Whyever not?” Frustration ran rampant through his
brain, and he fought to keep a civil tongue.
“It’s someone else’s shit. Literally. I can’t possibly carry
that without some kind of sanitary protection. Rubber
gloves, a hazmat suit, a bomb shelter, something.”
Avery tamped down the urge to throttle the beautiful
chit. It was a very near thing. “You requested a position
in this household. You informed me that you were
capable of a housemaid’s duties. Are you now saying that
you misled me to acquire the post?”
An angry blush climbed her cheeks, only managing to
make her look lovelier. “You know I didn’t lie to you. I
told you, I can do this job. But listen, I have zero desire
to die of some horrible disease because of a cavalier atti-
tude toward human excrement.” She crossed her arms.
Even in her plain, high- necked gown, her chest rounded
with the pose.
His mouth went dry, and he nearly choked as he tried
to swallow. Though he was irritated, his desire for her