Geli Voyante's Hot or Not (35 page)

‘Goodbye, Theo,’ I say.

I don’t care if he has a whole football team
’s worth of children, I’m through listening. If I wanted fiction, I’d go to the movies.

‘
OK, OK, I have a son. Up in Newcastle. He’s called Henry. That’s why I’m there a lot.’

‘And when were you planning on tell
ing me about him?’ I ask, exasperated, not even registering the full horror of what he is saying. How could he keep his child hidden away from people? What sort of a father is he to not want to gush with pride about his boy? I’ve worked with him for three years and not once has he mentioned his son.

He doesn
’t answer, but what could he possibly say?

‘
You and Tiggy are perfect for one another.’ I shake my head in disgust. ‘The first thing I asked you, before I explained about Tiggy, is whether your family was normal and you sat there and lied to my face. You made me feel like a complete special,’ I rage, ‘for having such a disastrous family. No wonder you were back and forth to bloody Newcastle all the time. Do values mean nothing to you? Respect? Who the fuck do you think you are Theo Bones?’ I prod his chest to reinforce my point. ‘To think you are above common decency and sense? And what about Calvin? Did you not think he had a right to know?’ I’m on a roll now. ‘How can you live with yourself? How could you have planned to stand there this afternoon and let him marry her?’

‘I’m sorry, Geli,’ is all he says. ‘Please, you have to forgive me. You’re the love of my life.’
He looks devastated, but I don’t believe he is. Not really. He’s maybe devastated he’s been caught, that’s all.

‘Oh, I forgive you
Theo,’ I answer, ‘because I feel sorry for you. You’re going to have to live with your stupidity for the rest of your life and you’re going to have to live with losing me,
if
I really mean that much to you, but I don’t think I do. You’ll find another idiot to bully soon enough.’

M
y head is pounding. How did everything become such a huge mess?

‘We
can still have something, Geli baby.’ He reaches for my hand. ‘We can be amazing together.’

‘We can’t,’ I rebuff angrily, snatching my hand away. How dare he touch me?
‘And, if I mean that much to you, then you’ll let me walk away because you only want what’s best for me.’

‘You still have to see me a
t work,’ he argues. ‘This is silly. We should be together.’

‘
I’ll quit,’ I simply say, and I know I will. It’s been coming a long time, but this is the clincher. ‘Here,’ I say, taking off my necklace. ‘You should have this back.’

H
e takes it from me, and slumps against the wall, knocking that gorgeous Venetian mirror down. He deserves the seven years’ bad luck.

I pause
when I reach the doorway to let the hotel staff come through to inspect what the noise was. Glass is everywhere.

‘
Goodbye Theo,’ I say, and then I walk away. 

I knock on the honeymoon suite door – my hand is shaking – but I need to make sure Calvin is
OK because he’s more of an injured party than I am, despite what I’ve just heard.

I still can’t believe all this
, believe what the real Theo Bones is like. A man who is so phenomenally intelligent when it comes to the topics most people don’t have the faintest clue about – who swore he never wanted children with the planet in its current state – I cannot believe that not only does he have a secret love-child already, but possibly a second one on the way.

For someone who is so opinionated
about the importance of China’s one-child policy (as long as it doesn’t result in infanticide) because he feels we need to stabilise the population boom before the world becomes even more drained of resources, I am appalled at his lax attitude, at his irresponsible behaviour. He seems to think he is above everything, that he has some special life pass. Even worse, he’s putting others at risk because of his stupidity.

How can he not
realise there are implications? Why does he believe he can act this way? Theo may be intelligent – I will certainly miss his knowledge because I have learnt more about serious life since I moved to the pod next door – but he lacks common sense in a very dangerous way. And yes, I will definitely be leaving the paper – maybe even the
New News
company – because I can’t stay as the Hot or Not girl. I need to stop inhabiting that superficial world and make it in the real world. Maybe then I’ll find real love with a real man.

I knock again
, but there’s still no answer. I can definitely hear movement inside though. I hope it’s not Tiggy.

‘It’s Geli,’
I call.

A few seconds later
, Calvin opens the door. Calvin who is in the process of packing, Calvin who looks like he has been crying. My heart pains at the sight of him. Poor Calvin.

He goes back into the suite, leaving the door open for me to follow him in.

‘
Are you OK?’ I ask, perching on the edge of the bed. It’s a gorgeous room with a beautifully carved four-poster bed, draped with cool silk hangings. Exquisite African wall hangings are dotted around the walls, and I spot a bucket of champagne chilling next to Calvin’s wedding suit. The poor man.

‘I’m in shock,’ he
finally says, sitting next to me on the bed. ‘This is not how I pictured my wedding day to be, you know?’ He sounds dazed. ‘I always thought when I got married, it would be for life. That it would be the most perfect day. This is the last thing I expected.’ He’s definitely shell-shocked. Maybe I should see if I can find a whisky in the mini bar.

‘Me too,’ I agree, as I walk over to the mini bar
.

‘Married for life, or?’

‘Both.’ A-ha! There’s one, and I’ll have one, too.

‘How are you
?’ he asks. ‘We’ve both been put in an interesting position.’ Does this mean he is uncertain about walking away from Tiggy, that she might get another chance with him? I am in no such position; I am not going to let Theo stay in my life.

‘I’m fine,’ I cautiously reply
as I hand him his miniature. ‘I’m glad I found out now, before it was too late.’

‘So you’re not taking him back?’

‘No,’ I splutter. ‘Of course not. He’s been cheating on me with her and he’s possibly about to become a father to someone else again... you don’t need to know about that.’ I shake my head. ‘But no, I’m
definitely
not taking him back.’

Calvin doesn’t
comment, but he does take a swig of his drink. I feel sick from his silence. I am hoping and praying it doesn’t indicate he is taking Tiggy back because she does not deserve him. Calvin Murphy-Lee deserves his happily ever after. He is the nicest, most generous man I have ever had the fortune of meeting, and he has those plaudits by miles.

Tiggy Boodles has never deserved him, never will. I can’t blame him for feeling lonely and wanting to
take a chance with her, even if he wasn’t wise in his choice. He couldn’t help be misinformed. Ditto for me with Theo, I suppose.

‘Are you taking her back?’ I ask
, the panic evident in my voice.

Why doesn
’t he have a best man here? Why didn’t he ask someone else to step in when Adam broke his leg? He needs his friends right now, he’s all alone in a strange country going through this, he needs someone to talk to him who has a more
neutral
take on matters.

W
hen he finally looks up at me, my heart skips a beat. If he says yes, I feel like my heart will break. That kiss between us was right – the people we thought we’d cheated on had already cheated on us – we have no reason not to be together now, once the dust settles. This chemistry we have, the way we are when we’re together, well it’s a lot more real than what I had with Theo or what Calvin had with Tiggy, I’m certain of it.
He can’t take her back
. If there’s any justice in this world, he won’t.

‘Of course not.’
I almost start crying in relief.

‘Did she follow you back here?’

I am admittedly curious to hear her lies now I know they haven’t worked.

‘She tried t
o, but I told her I never want to see her again. She told me you were lying, but I knew you weren’t. Her ring is over there,’ he continues, nodding to the dresser – a sharp fleeting pain hits me as I recall what Theo and I got up to on our dresser this morning, and how stupid I have been to let him use me when I didn’t even want to be with him. I’ll never let another man use me like that again.

‘I told her we were through
and she didn’t even argue after that. She just gave me her ring and walked off.’

I
’m surprised. At least Theo tried to “win” me back; Tiggy couldn’t even be bothered to butter up Calvin’s ego like anyone else in the wrong would have done. If that’s not a further testament to the state of her character, I don’t know what is. How could she hurt this man? Who in their right mind would turn down a catch like Calvin Murphy-Lee for Theo Bones?

‘
Calvin,’ I say quickly, standing up to place my hand sympathetically on his arm. ‘I’m so sorry.’ There’s that crackle again, and this time we’re both single...

‘I don’t think you are, Geli,’ he evenly replies
, refusing to meet my eyes. ‘It’s no secret you don’t like each other, although Tiggy is more skilled at hiding it than you are.’

I take my hand a
way from him, ignoring the burning sensation I felt from his arm. Is he blaming me for all of this? Surely I am not going to have a repeat of outside? I feel like I’m choking but, realising his words, he takes my hand in his.
This is torture.
All those Calvin thoughts I tried to push deep down below after our kiss are starting to resurface given the removal of Tiggy and Theo.

He’s right and wrong though. I’m not sorry the wedding is off,
but I am sorry that the wedding being called off has hurt him. I would never wish that on anyone, especially not Calvin.

‘I know you’re sorry for me
,’ he says gently. ‘I’m sorry for you too, but I know you didn’t want me to marry Tiggy.’

I wanted you to marry me
.

I blush bright red
, but I don’t say anything. Calvin looks flushed too. This is so awkward.

‘I just wish you had
…’ Calvin starts, but he leaves that sentence hanging.

‘W
hat are you going to do now?’ I ask to break the awkward pause.

The air conditioning is humming along, silently doing its job, but I feel hot and dizzy. Possibly from the effect of Calvin.
What did he mean? What did he wish I had done?

‘Go on my honeymoon,’ he says. ‘I think I deserve it.’

If this were a feel-good movie or a book, Calvin would turn and tell me that I deserve to come along with him too. We’d fly off into the sunset and this would be the start of us falling madly in love. We’d remember this day with such fond hilarity. Our great-grandchildren would ask us every Valentine’s Day and wedding anniversary to recount the unhappy tale that resulted in our happily ever after. They’d go away with a warm fuzzy feeling believing guilelessly in unbreakable love; as a result, they would become naïve and not realise that love is a struggle.
This is not a feel-good movie or book.

‘H
ow about you?’ he asks.

‘Go back to London. Quit my column. Figure my life out.’
I shrug.

‘Are you really going to quit?’ Calvin asks, a trace of
something evident in his voice, though I’m not sure what.

‘I can’t work there anymore, and n
ot just because Theo’s there. I’ve not been happy there, and it’s not me. Maybe it never was.’

There’
s an ominous pause.

‘Meet me for a drink when we get back?’ he
rushes out nervously.

‘Well, I’ll need to see the honeymoon photos,’ I
joke back, my voice cracking.

He still wants me in his life. Does this mean I can
have hope?

‘Se
riously Geli,’ he says, staring me squarely in the eyes – that should be illegal. ‘I know we didn’t meet under the best circumstances, but out of all the people here today for my so-called wedding, I trust you the most. We’ve both been screwed over by the people we love. We know,’ he simply says.

I
nod, even though I never loved Theo.

‘Maybe I can help yo
u figure out why you’re Trouble and you can help me figure out why I seem to attract women who want to make other men jealous?’

He makes it sound so glib but I can tell he is hurting. His posture is tense, and he
’s nervously rubbing his fingers back and forth over his palms.

‘Sounds good
,’ I lightly reply. This is torture.

‘Will you be
OK, Geli?’

I can’t look at him.
‘Yeah,’ I manage to choke out. ‘Will you?’

‘I think so.’

I smile, but the smile doesn’t reach my eyes and my eyes don’t reach Calvin’s. ‘I’d better let you finish packing,’ I make myself say breezily. ‘And I’d better see whether there’s a Boodles-Voyante connection left.’

‘What do you mean?’

Is he asking because he’s being polite, or because he doesn’t want me to leave?

‘Oh, I think my dad finally saw Ursula f
or what she really is today.’

I need to leave right now
because I am dangerously close to pouncing on Calvin. This is not the time or the place though. If anything was to happen between us, it shouldn’t be in the honeymoon suite he’d booked for him and Tiggy. It shouldn’t have been on my now ex-boyfriend’s bed either...

‘Maybe your dad and mum will g
et back together,’ Calvin jokes.

‘That’s l
ike saying
we’ll
get together.’ Why did
that
pop out, of all things? Calvin looks uneasy; I can’t blame him. ‘Joke,’ I add, lamely, blushing red.

‘Yes, ha-ha.’ He sounds
unconvinced.

‘Well, goodbye Calvin.
’

I try and
chirp this at him, but it sounds a bit strangled. I lean in for a hug, and he pats me on the back keeping a good thirty centimetres difference between our bodies. The distance doesn’t matter though. I can feel that electricity crackling in the void between us, more so than if we were hungrily pressed together.

‘Good
bye, Geli,’ he stiffly responds. ‘And I’ll see you in London for that drink.’

‘Yes, yes,’ I say. ‘W
ith your photos.’

We are circling one another here – repeating ourselves –
and I feel I can’t leave, but I know I have to. I quickly break away from our faux hug and I get out of that suite as quick as I can.

Then
, I start to run. As soon as that door slams shut, I run. I just want to run and run and run, and never have to think again because it hurts to think. I’m sick of thinking; I’m sick of hurting; I’m sick of never finding happiness.

Before I know it
, I’m under a tree, sobbing my heart out. I know all the reasons why I’m
not
crying, but I don’t want to admit to the reason why I
am
. That will only make me sob harder.

I’m not crying beca
use I’ve lost Theo from my life, and I’m not crying because my dad spectacularly punched Theo’s lights out and took my side for once over the evil Boodles. I’m not crying because I’m nearly twenty-five, I’m all alone, about to quit my job, and have no clue where my life will be going when I get back on that plane to London... I’m crying because I think I might just be in love with Calvin Murphy-Lee and there’s nothing I can do about that right now. We both need time but I’m scared that time might make him see things differently, might make him see
us
differently.

I wish Glinda
were here right now. My head is in such a mess. She’d know what to do, as would Mum. They’d give me a big hug, stroke my hair, and tell me everything is going to be OK.

I
want to go home. I want to go back to London. I want someone who loves and cares for me to tell me that everything is going to be all right, even if that is a bit of a lie.

‘You run fast,’ a
semi-breathless voice tells me. ‘Have you ever considered running a marathon?’

‘A marathon got me into this mess in the first place,’ I
quip, my heart soaring.

‘Oh yes. Who is your favourite runner then?’

‘Hillary,’ I say.

‘I care very little for US
politics,’ the voice warns me.

‘So do I,’ I admit.

‘Have you ever super-imposed a photo of yourself doing charity work?’ the voice continues conversationally. Ha, he did know she faked that!

‘No, but
I’ve airbrushed out my wrinkles,’ I confess, lifting my blotchy red face to Calvin who is now sitting next to me under the tree.

He has a camera in his hand
and he’s smiling. I don’t know why he’s smiling. I must look hideous with my red face but I can’t help but grin back.

He holds up the camera
and shuffles closer to me, holding out the camera at arm’s length and clicking the button before I can protest.

‘Good
. You can airbrush this one and make us look pretty then.’

‘Me, you mean.
I’m all puffy and disgusting.’

‘No, no,’ he says, after
studying my face for a moment. ‘You’re beautiful, Geli.’

I snort attractively at that one. ‘Why did you take
that photo?’ I demand.

‘The honeymoon photos,’ he explains. ‘Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already?’

‘Right,’ I drawl. ‘Like that drink when we’re back in London?’

I feel
floaty, possibly from the heat and lack of food, but maybe it’s because I know what’s coming.

‘Exactly! So what better way to start the honeymoon
snaps than with a shot of us here. We’ll take the last one in the pub in London.’

‘What do you m
ean?’ I ask dumbly.

‘
I mean, you should come to Australia with me.’

‘Why’s that?’ I ask, feeling all breathless. It
could be because of the humidity, but I know it’s not.

‘Because,’ he
says seriously, but with a twinkle in his eye, ‘I figure the best way to prevent you from Trouble, and to prevent me from meeting unsuitable women with secret agendas, is to not let you out of my sight.’

‘Calvin,
’ I say, ‘you can’t be serious?’

He was supp
osed to be getting married in three hours.

W
hilst I do know there’s undeniably something between us, I do not want to jump into another relationship.

‘I
’m not.’

Thank goodness
,
but my heart still feels like Calvin has stabbed it.
Why doesn’t he want me?

‘Of course we shouldn
’t go to Australia. I never even wanted to go there anyway, and I’m certainly not taking you anywhere I’d planned on going with...’ His voice breaks. ‘Shit, I’m so confused,’ he says quietly, wrestling his hands together.

M
e too, but I really hope he doesn’t mean he’s confused about Tiggy. Before I can think of something to say to all this – something normal, light and friendly – he puts the camera down and kisses me. There’s no hesitation there – it’s a firm, unapologetic, delicious kiss – and it’s wonderful and amazing, but it’s far too soon. For the both of us.

He breaks away with a smile on his face, and I know I
’m smiling too, despite what I’m about to say.

‘I can
’t do this yet,’ I say, even though it kills me. ‘I like you Calvin, but it’s too soon.’

He nods. ‘I know. And I know y
ou should go back to London, sort things out, and I need to... well, I need to sort my head out, too.’

‘So let
’s leave it how we were going to,’ I desperately say. ‘With that drink when you’re back from Oz. Or, don’t go to Oz. See if you can change your ticket and go somewhere else, somewhere just for you, and then you can tell me all about that when you’re back in London.’

‘
Hmmm, I could, or I could...’

Calvin
leans in and kisses me again. My heart is pounding fast. We shouldn’t be doing this, but it feels so crazily right. His hands are roaming through my hair and I let go of all these thoughts of “shouldn’t” and “mustn’t” – I just enjoy kissing him back, I enjoy the moment. It’s not violent or dangerous or hurtful – I feel like I am home.

‘You could what?
’ I ask breathlessly, as we break apart. The circumstances are so wrong, but
we
feel so right.

‘I could change
both the tickets. Change the name on yours, change the destination.’

Could we, could we do that?

‘India’s nice, I hear,’ I find myself saying.

‘I do love curry,
’ Calvin replies. ‘But don’t blame me if I get Delhi belly and you end up having to look after me.’

Is he serious?