Gene. Sys. (14 page)

The air in the room has certainly gotten thicker
and I can tell that all anyone wants to do is leave. “Unless any of you have
any questions, you are free to leave. I would recommend talking with Dr. Kivuli
about what you experienced today. Rene seems to think it will help.”

The group turns in silence and they walk towards
the elevator. Ev lags behind and steps closer to me. “Atom, I…”

“Hang on a second.” I run to catch up to Sodi, the
throbbing pressure in my head reminding me of what I did to her. “Sodi, I
wanted to apologize for…”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” She glares at me
for a moment and then turns to catch up to Titan and Sil.

I stand and watch her, bewildered by the
exchange. Surely she must understand that I had no other option, that I didn’t
do it to inflict harm.

“What was that about?” Ev has stepped up next to
me.

“I shot her in the forehead.” I look at Ev. I
can feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Though I know some of it is
hurt because of what I did to Sodi, I can usually hold those tears in. There is
definitely something more behind these. I am just grateful that I feel
comfortable enough to let Ev see me this way. I don’t have the energy to hide
it.

“Yeah, I would be mad at you too. Give her some
time.” She looks into my eyes. Her playfulness calms as she sees that I am
hurting. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I try to force a smile but before I
realize what’s happening, Ev has wrapped her arms around me. She pulls my head
onto her shoulder and rubs my head with one of her hands. I have a quick flash
to one of the lessons we had where we learned about animals and how they
comfort their young. I feel safe in her arms and I no longer hold my tears
back.

“Rene asked me to make sure you go and see Dr.
Kivuli. He says that you need it more than the rest of us.” Ev’s voice is soft
against my ear. She definitely has a nurturing instinct.

I pull away and wipe my face. “I know and I
will. There is just something about her that I don’t like.”

“You haven’t sat down with her yet. She’s really
nice and very helpful.” Ev smiles at me.

“You’ve already met with her?” I’m surprised.

“Yeah. I’ve actually been meeting with her since
before you and I met. Rene thought that with all the information he had shared
with me, I needed someone to talk to.” She looks away, ashamed, I am sure, at
the fact that she just admitted having kept a secret from me.

I feel my breath grow deep as rage I hadn’t felt
in a while circles my throat. “I thought we promised that we wouldn’t keep
anything from each other.”

“Atom, relax. Rene asked me to keep my sessions
with Dr. Kivuli to myself. I don’t see how you knowing about that would have
even mattered.” Ev’s voice has gotten shaky.

“I just met her for the first time today and
you’ve known her for months. Of course it matters!” I almost blurt out that
there are scientists who are plotting to sabotage the plan, but I hold back. I
know that I would do best to keep that information to myself since I don’t know
what Ev talks to Dr. Kivuli about.

Ev just looks at me. She starts to say something
a couple of times but stops herself. After a couple of silent moments she walks
to the elevator. Just as the doors close, she shouts out, “Just go talk to her.
You need it.”

The second the doors close, I grab the rifle
closest to me off the ground and with a loud scream I throw it as hard as I can
across the room. It slams against the far wall and falls to the ground. I know
that I need to calm myself down, so I kick a couple of rifles out of the way
and lay on the ground.

Taking deep, slow breaths, I close my eyes and
try to focus on my breathing. The anger that flows through me clouds my mind
and, without realizing it, I fall asleep.

I dream that I am walking alone through the
streets of a city in ruins. It’s similar to the one outside the walls and to
the one in the simulation. Concrete and glass litter the streets from the
surrounding buildings. The air stings my nose and causes my throat to become
dry.

Behind one of the lower buildings ahead of me I
see dark grey smoke rising into the air. Instinctively, I walk towards the
origin of the smoke. I cover my mouth and nose with my shirt, hoping it will
ease my breathing.

Just as I’m about to turn the corner, I feel the
air around me grow hotter. I pause and wait. Suddenly a wall of flames floods
around the corner and charges at me. I turn to run back the way I came but see
a second wall of flames closing me in. My only escape is into the building that
is right next to me.

I slam my body into the door and burst through.
The second I enter I scream. Lying on the floor before me are the dead bodies
of all the Genesys, their faces stuck in a state of shock and their eyes
blaming me for not saving them.

My screams carry me out of the dream and jolt me
awake. I sit up, breathing harder than I did before I fell asleep. All I want
to do is clean up and jump into my shower. I need the sting of the hot water
hitting my body.

“What did you dream about?” The voice throws me
to my feet. I put my fists up and look around. Out of the corner of my eye I
spot the distinct black and white hair. I feel my teeth grinding against each
other as I turn to face Dr. Kivuli. She’s sitting at Grant’s desk, which is
making me despise her more.

“What do you want?” I force through my teeth.

“Well, after everyone else came to see me and I
hadn’t seen you, I figured you were avoiding me.” She smiles as she walks
towards me.

Everyone else has already seen her? How long have
I been asleep? “What time is it?”

“Nearly five,” she says. That means I was asleep
for nearly three hours. I must have desperately needed the rest. Somehow I
don’t feel any better, though the throbbing in my head is gone.

“What do you want me to talk about?” I ask,
knowing that I’m not going to be able to avoid it. I might as well get right to
the point.

“Let’s sit.” She takes a seat on the ground and
I oblige. “Just tell me how you are feeling.”

“About what? I feel fine.” I really don’t feel
comfortable with her and I’m not sure that I can trust her enough to give her
complete answers.

She smirks and I can tell she’s frustrated.
“Tell me your thoughts on having to lead the Genetic Systems after the
Ragnarok?”

My heart begins to beat a little faster and my
stomach feels tighter. I have been carrying a lot of weight around and this has
been the bulk of it. I take a deep breath and decide that there isn’t any harm
in shedding some of the weight.

“I don’t like it.” I examine her for a response,
but she just sits, listening. I continue. “I’m scared that I’m going to fail
and I can’t handle the pressure of what failing means. I don’t know why Rene
wants me to be the leader. At this point I don’t know much more than the other
Genesys. Besides, Ev seems better suited to lead the group. She is just as
physically capable as I am and she is certainly smarter than me.”

“You are right, Atom,” she chimes in. I’m
surprised by her response. “Ev would be a fantastic leader and all the others
would follow her. Rene wanted you to lead because Ev will follow you.”

I can’t help but smile. Dr. Kivuli smiles back
and suddenly I feel embarrassed at showing her my vulnerability.

“You care a lot about her, don’t you?” she
prods.

“That’s none of your business!” Any hint of a
smile on my face is gone.

Dr. Kivuli leans in, keeping her voice calm.
“Don’t feel embarrassed. It’s natural to develop feelings…”

“I’m done.” I stand up. I don’t like her
prodding into my private thoughts. When I notice that she isn’t going to stand
up I turn and walk to the elevator.

“Atom, wait. We can change the topic,” she
shouts after me but I’ve had it. I’ve been able to handle my problems fine on
my own. I don’t need someone I don’t know playing games with my mind.

As the elevator doors close, I catch a quick
glimpse of her disappointed face. Thankfully I don’t come across anyone on my
way to my room and I head straight for the shower.

After what feels like an hour under the hot
water, I towel myself off and grab a protein pouch. My wrinkled fingers make it
hard to open the pouch, so I tear it open with my teeth. The second the grape
flavor touches my tongue I realize just how hungry I am. I have four more
pouches before I finally feel full.

I throw on a jump suit and head up to the roof
with my blanket in my hand. It has started to get darker earlier and the
weather has gotten colder. With my body still feeling warm from the shower, I
know the cold air will feel great.

Recently I had been giving Cal and Al a heads up
that I would be heading to the roof, but tonight I would like some time to
myself. I climb the ladder to the roof and sit with the blanket wrapped around
me. At first everything seems normal but then I realize that the bright flashes
we had been seeing behind the walls aren’t happening.

I scan the compound and notice that there seem
to be more drones patrolling than usual. They are scattered along the walls and
throughout the grounds. My body shivers as I get an uneasy feeling. Something
seems wrong. I’m about to head back when I hear noise coming from the ladder.

“You don’t like us anymore?” Al’s distinct voice
precedes his head as he steps through.

“Hey. I just wanted a little time to myself.” I
shift over to give them room. Hydro and Fe follow Al onto the roof.

“Wow, it’s cold.” Hydro rubs her arms as she
sits. Al sits next to her and puts his arm around her to keep her warm. Fe sits
next to me.

“Where is Cal?” I look back to the hole in the
roof.

“He wasn’t feeling well so he decided to stay
back and sleep,” Al says.

A rush of nerves runs over me. Cal is usually a
good buffer for the group, but now I feel like I’m paired off with Fe.

“Where are the flashes?” Fe looks at me.

“I don’t know.” I smile back and quickly look
back beyond the walls, my heart climbing into my throat. For a few moments we
all stare off into the night sky.

“It seems eerily quiet out there.” Hydro breaks
the uncomfortable silence.

“I kind of got used to those flashes. They were
surprisingly beautiful,” Al adds. His teeth chatter and we all look over at him
and laugh. “Don’t laugh. It’s cold, and Atom seems content with hogging his
blanket!”

I had forgotten that I was wrapped in my
blanket. I hold it out to the group. “I’m sorry.
Here.
”

“Actually, I think I’m going to head back down.
I’m past cold and I don’t think the blanket will help.” Hydro stands and Al
follows.

“Okay. I think I’m going to stay up here for a
little while longer,” I say as I pull the blanket back around me.

“I think I will stay up here too, if Atom
doesn’t mind.” Fe looks at me.

If I thought I had experienced nerves before, I
was wrong. Suddenly the blanket feels like an oven, as my skin turns red. “That’s
fine.”

“Well, you two don’t get in any trouble now.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” Al winks at me and I let out a nervous laugh.

After Al and Hydro disappear, Fe shifts closer
to me, wrapping the part of the blanket I offered her around her body. Her body
presses next to mine and I can feel my palms begin to sweat. She looks at
me and smiles
. Somehow the darkness of the sky has added
depth to her piercing eyes. She is no longer the naïve girl I first met.

I speak to avoid the silence. “You did great
today. I’m sorry I didn’t say it in the simulation room, but it didn’t seem
appropriate at the time with what everyone had just gone through. What you did,
hiding within the bodies, was both courageous and smart. I wish—”

My words are cut off by
her lips
as they press against mine, her soft hair caressing my neck, and I
instinctively put my hand on her cheek. I had not realized how cold my face had
gotten until I felt the warmth of her lips. If it weren’t for my breathing I
would believe I was dead because my heart has stopped completely.

She pulls away and lays her head on my shoulder.
The smile she leaves on my face begins to hurt my jaw so I decide not to speak.
Instead I just put my arm around her and look at the compound walls with the
drones.

As the moments pass, my breathing calms into a
rhythm with hers. I feel in sync with her. Suddenly, a flash of light on the
other side of the compound wall to our left draws our attention.

The drones
who
were
scattered around the walls and the ground rush to that part of the compound. As
we stand, I see streaks of orange light fly from the outsiders’ part of the
wall and into the far parts of the compound.

The streaks hit around some of the buildings and
instantly explode. The flash of the explosion causes me to squint my eyes and
the booming sound thumps in my chest. More orange streaks fly over the wall, these
slightly closer to where we are.