Gentle Curves (Dangerous Curves Book 4) (14 page)

Chapter Sixteen
Two weeks later

Tessa glanced around Jax and Sarah’s engagement party in a futile attempt to distract herself from her aching, gnawing hunger. She clutched her glass of sparkling water with lemon like a talisman, tried to ignore the delicious-looking and -smelling buffet set up in the kitchen. She hadn’t eaten that day and had only had a salad the day before and if she stayed strong, she might hit one-hundred-and-twenty pounds by the next week.

But not if you keep fucking pigging out, you cow
.

She’d had a serious setback the week before when Kevin had dumped her. He’d walked out, telling her that he was done waiting for her to take care of herself properly, done being patient and understanding. He said that he’d tried everything he could think of to make her treat herself with respect, but if she insisted on being unhealthy and fat, then he was moving on. In fact, he already had. Her name was Heather, apparently.

She’d watched him go, horrified that she’d failed so badly, then she’d sat on the sofa thinking. So much of what he’d said struck her as wrong: she
was
trying to lose weight, she
was
working hard to get back the body that she’d had when she was a professional dancer. She was eating healthy things and she was exercising.

If Kevin couldn’t see any of that, then maybe she was better off doing it on her own. Maybe without him breathing down her neck and monitoring every single thing that went in to her mouth, she’d succeed. Maybe she’d even hit her goals faster?

An hour later, though, the depression had crashed in on her and she’d made the fatal mistake of ordering a pizza. She’d inhaled it, then walked out to the corner store and bought bags of chips and chocolate bars and cans of pop. She’d then steadily, almost mindlessly, eaten them while watching chick movies on TV, crying the whole time.

That little binge had gained her a whopping seven pounds and as she’d stood there on the scale the next morning, staring down at the numbers in disgust, she’d sworn there and then to take control of this fucking mess that was her life. Starting with the easiest thing in the world for her to control: what she ate.

“Tessa? You OK?”

Startled out of her thoughts, she turned to look at Sarah. The other woman was alight with happiness and no wonder. She was marrying an amazing man, a man who adored her just as she was. Tessa eyed Sarah’s lush, ripe curves and saw that she had a plate piled high with pasta and sauce and bread. Right away, she felt a wave of pure jealousy crash over her that Sarah could eat what she wanted when she wanted, and just not care.

“Yeah,” Tessa said. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”

“I don’t know. You just looked a million miles away.”

Tessa forced a smile on her face. “Just enjoying the view. It must be so great to live up here in the Rockies.”

“Oh, it is.” Sarah smiled back, more relaxed. “It’s so quiet.”

“Nice.”

“Sarah?”

The two women turned to see Sarah’s twin brother Noah approaching with his girlfriend Callie.

“Hey, guys,” Sarah said. “What’s up?”

“Where’s Brother Jax?” Noah asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot slowly. “I want to talk to Brother Jax.”

Sarah hid her grin. Ever since she and Jax had told her Mom and Noah and Megan about their engagement, Noah had called Jax ‘Brother’. It made Sarah think about Jax in a long monk’s robe with a hood – a mental image that tickled her every single time.

“Uh, I think he’s downstairs with King and Aidan,” Sarah said. “You want me to go get him?”

“No,” Noah said in his usual abrupt way. “You stay here with Callie.”

“OK.” Sarah was well used to her brother’s awkward social skills and she just rolled with it. “No problem.”

Noah went down the stairs and the women looked at each other.

“You doing OK, Callie?” Sarah asked the younger woman gently. “You want anything to eat?”

“No.” Callie shook her head. “Can I see your expensive diamond ring again?”

Sarah extended her hand, not the slightest bit offended. Like Noah, Callie was autistic and she sometimes said and did things that might not be considered strictly ‘polite’. The two had met at Naomi’s art program for autistic adults and both were amazingly-talented artists. Noah was, in fact, making a damn good living from his paintings.

“It’s so big,” Callie said now. “So shiny.”

“Thank you,” Sarah said.

“I wonder if Noah will ever buy
me
an engagement ring.”

Sarah blinked. “Uh, do you
want
him to?”

Callie shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Sarah studied the other woman’s face, wondered if she should dive in to this chat here and now. She and her Mom had had worries about Noah entering his first romantic relationship, of course, but he’d surprised them again and again with his maturity and sensitivity. He’d listened intently to them when they’d talked about respecting Callie’s boundaries, and Jax had been amazing about giving Noah the male perspective on women. Sarah still giggled when she recalled Jax giving her brother a lesson on how to kiss a woman. Jax had never gone in to details, but Sarah liked to imagine how
that
all must have gone.

She decided to not broach the topic right away. Better to talk to Noah a bit, see where his head was at. Then, if it looked like he and Callie were getting really serious, she’d talk to her Mom and Callie’s Mom and King. He was Callie’s uncle and he adored Noah; he’d definitely be available to help out if need be.

Sarah smiled. “Well, if you ever want to talk, Callie, you know where I am.”

Callie looked bewildered. “You’re right here.”

“I am.” Sarah grinned a bit. “So, are you hungry?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s grab you some food, yeah? Tessa, you want to come with us?”

“Oh, no thanks,” Tessa said. “I’m stuffed.”

Sarah nodded and led Callie over to the food. Tessa watched them go, trying not to notice the massive platter of shrimp.

Argh. Get out of here… away from temptation.

Tessa wandered down the hallway now, in to an empty room at the far end of Jax’s massive house. She drank her water, took a few deep breaths and glanced at her watch. Another fifteen minutes and she’d get out of here. She wanted to get back on the Stairmaster before bed. She’d only done four hours that day, and she was determined to get in another two hours at least.

“Hey, Tessa.”

She whirled around, spilling water on her baggy gray dress. “Christ!”

“Sorry.” Curtis stepped in to the room, his shoulders blocking the doorway. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because we haven’t talked in a while and I wanted to hear how you are.”

“Fine.” She backed up a bit. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah?” His eyes scanned her body under the ugly loose dress, took in her empty water glass, saw the circles under her eyes. “And how’s Kevin?”

She paused. “Fine.”

Curtis watched her closely.
Fuck
, she looked bad. Tired and pale and totally wiped out. She was also lying through her teeth.

“So why isn’t Kevin here today?” he asked casually. “I know he was invited.”

Tessa fell silent. She didn’t really want to tell Curtis anything personal, but on the other hand, Gabi and Kenleigh knew that she was single again. She wondered if maybe they’d told Curtis. He and Gabi especially were close and seemed to talk a lot.

“Well, we broke up,” she said stiffly.

Curtis knew that, of course, and he was quiet for a few seconds. Then he said, “Good.”

“What?” She stared at him, stunned and taken aback. “
Good
?”

“Yeah. Good.” His blue eyes were impossibly hard and he walked closer. “That dickhead didn’t deserve you.”

“He – what?”

“He didn’t love you, Tessa, not for you. Not as you were and not for who you really are. All he wanted to do was change you, mold you in to something
he
wanted and needed you to be. He just wanted a fucking sex kitten to bring to his bullshit parties that he could show off to all the other boys.” His eyes flashed. “That ain’t you, sweetheart. You’re so,
so
much more than some asshole’s arm candy.”

She literally didn’t have one clue what to say to any of this, so she said nothing. Curtis studied her beautiful face and fought down the urge to take her in his arms. He was close enough to her now to see the flecks of gold in her emerald eyes, to see the sun dancing in her blonde curls.

“God, Tessa.” He spoke gently now. “I wish you could see yourself as the rest of us do.” He hesitated. “As
I
do.”

At the tender, soft look on that handsome face, fear smashed through her. No way she was letting Curtis Manning anywhere close to her; no way she was going there. The man was pure temptation, drop-dead gorgeous, sexy and hot. One taste of him and she’d be lost and out of control. And if Tessa had learned one thing from this whole Kevin mess and from losing her dream of dancing and from gaining seventy-five fucking pounds, it was that
she
needed to be the one in control. Of everything. No more handing herself over to anything or anyone –
especially
not a man.

“I don’t care how you see me, Curtis.” She spoke as coldly as she knew how. “You’re nobody to me. You’re just a guy who bounces at the bar where I work. Let’s leave it there, yeah?”

Hurt, he flinched. “Tessa…”

She pushed past him now, left him standing there. Her heart was pounding and her head was spinning, but as she walked out of the party, she felt oddly victorious. She felt strong and focused and her hunger pangs had completely disappeared.

For the first time in a long, long time, she felt back in control.

Chapter Seventeen

Noah went downstairs and looked around.

“Brother Jax!” he said, and right away a door opened.

Jax poked his dark head out. “Hey, man. You OK?”

“Yes. I want to talk to you.”

“Sure thing,” Jax said easily. “Alone or with the guys?”

“Alone.”

“OK.” Jax stepped in to the hallway and shut the door. “What’s shaking, man?”

Noah stared at him. “Nothing. There’s no earthquake.”

Jax grinned. He’d gotten better about remembering Noah’s tendency to take things literally, but he did still forget sometimes.

“Yeah, sorry. You’re right. I meant to say, what’s going on?”

“I want to ask Callie to marry me.”

Jax damn near reeled backwards in shock. “Holy shit. Really?”

“Don’t swear,” Noah chided him. “And yes, really.”

“Oh. Oh, God.” Jax was in way over his damn head on
this
one, and he knew it. “Have you told Sarah yet?”

“No. This is man’s business.”

“Have you told King?” Jax asked, ignoring the sexism for the moment and already knowing the answer.

“No. This is family business. And since you’re a man
and
my brother, I’m telling you first.”

“Ah. Right.”

“So?”

“So what?”

“So… how do I ask Callie to marry me?”

“Well, Noah.” Jax sent up a quick prayer that he said the right thing. “I think that we need to talk to a few other people about this first.”

“Who?”

“Sarah and your Mom and King and Callie’s Mom and Callie.”

“Why?”

“Because there’s a lot more to getting engaged than just asking a woman to marry you.”

“Yes. I know.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I have to also give her a diamond ring.”

“OK, yeah, but… there’s even more things than
that
.”

“How many more things?”

Jax blinked. “You want a number?”

“Yes. How many?”

“Noah.” Jax tried to focus. “Remember when we talked about feelings?”

“Yes.”

“And remember how I told you that feelings aren’t easy to quantify?”

“Yes.”

“So, when we’re talking about marrying someone, we’re talking about feelings, man. Not just buying rings and writing check-lists. We’re talking about hard decisions and serious promises and love. When it’s about
this
kind of stuff, you don’t just do it without thinking alot and talking to other people.”

Noah was silent.

“Noah? What do you think?”

“I think I need to talk to Sarah and Mom and King and Callie’s Mom.”

“And Callie.”

“But I want to surprise her.”

“Oh, you will.” Jax remembered Sarah’s face when she’d first seen the ring. “Even if you talk to her about marriage, I can tell you that if and when you actually ask, she’ll still be surprised.”

“You promise me?”

“I do, man. I promise you with everything that I have.”

**

Upstairs, Mac leaned against the living room wall and caught Naomi’s eye. He knew that she was good and pissed about what had happened with Mirrie, and he wondered if she’d talk to him. She’d refused for the past two weeks, hanging up every time he’d called, and finally King had asked him to back off for a bit.

She walked over now, slowly. She stopped right in front of him and studied his face.

“Does it still hurt?” Naomi finally asked.

He gave her a small, rueful grin. “If you mean my face, sweet thing, the answer’s not really. But if you mean losing Mirrie? Yeah. It still hurts like hell.”

She bit her lip. “You messed up, Mac.”

“I know.”

“
Do
you?”

“Yeah. I do.”

“You know how mad I was at King about it too? When he finally told me what you guys had done?”

“He mentioned something,” Mac said in an evasive tone. “Said the sofa wasn’t very comfortable.”

She gave a small laugh. “I just bet he did.”

Mac sighed a bit, so damn relieved that Naomi was talking to him. She wasn’t kidding about having been angry at King, he knew: King had told him that she’d kicked him out of their bedroom for a week. She’d been blazing-hot furious that both she and Mirrie had been kept in the dark about what the guys had been up to.

They looked at each now, their gazes locked.

“How is she?” Mac said quietly.

Naomi paused. “Better now.”

“Spider says that she hasn’t been coming to work.”

“No. She’s angry at him too.” Naomi shrugged. “She’ll go back soon, but first she needs to work a few things out.”

Mac finally asked the question that had been keeping him awake at night. “Did she – she’s not drinking, is she?”

Naomi gave him a narrow look. “No.”

He shut his eyes. “Thank Christ.”

“She’s been coming to more meetings than usual,” Naomi said. “She’s been asking for help more. Neil is her sponsor again, and I know they meet and talk a few times a week. She’s got good support.”

Mac stared at her, taken aback at Naomi’s wording. What did she mean that Mirrie was
coming
to more meetings than usual? When she put it that way, it sounded like Naomi was at the meetings too.

Naomi saw the half-formed intuition in his blue eyes and she smiled. “You don’t know how Mirrie and I met, do you?”

He shook his head.

“She’s my sponsor.”

“She’s…” Mac stared down at her. “You’re in AA?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, God.” Mac suddenly thought of all the times that he’d tried to buy Naomi a drink, the times that he’d teased her about drinking juice and not wine. “Oh, fuck, Naomi. I didn’t know. I’m sorry…”

“It’s OK,” she said. “You know now.”

“Honey.” He touched her hand gently. “You amaze me.”

Startled, surprised, she gave him a quick smile that lit up her whole face. The last bit of tension between them melted away and she sighed.

“Anyway, I know what King said, but I want to hear it from you,” Naomi said. “Why didn’t you tell me about what was happening?”

“We figured that if you knew, you’d tell Mirrie,” Mac said. “King thought that you’d never be able to accept knowing and not sharing it with her. You’d have been in a horrible moral dilemma and we just wanted to spare you that.”

Naomi snorted. “
Of course
I’d never have accepted it, Mac, and
not
because Mirrie’s my sponsor. I’d never have accepted it because it was the wrong thing to do. You boys fucked up.”

“Yeah. Yeah, we did and I know it. But I want to fix it.”

“You really think you can?”

“I don’t know. But I want a shot, at least.”

“How? Have you got a plan?”

His heart jumped at her words, wondering if she was open as she seemed to be. “I do. You gonna help me?”

“Maybe. Depends what you have in mind.”

“I’m going up to my cabin tonight,” he said slowly. “I’ll be there for a few days. I’d love it if Mirrie came and joined me. We could be alone and talk for as long as it took.”

Naomi thought about that and Mac watched her beautiful face, looking for clues where her head was at. Finally, she nodded and he felt nothing but hope for a second chance. Or third chance, depending how you chose to think about it

“I’ll tell her, Mac, but that’s all I’ll do,” Naomi said. “If she shows up, it’s because she
wants
to see you and listen to you, not because I pushed.”

“I get it.” Mac took a deep breath. “Thanks, Naomi.”

“Sure.” Her face broke in to a shining smile. “And Mac?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope she shows up.”

Mac thought about that horrible three days four years before, when he’d sat in that cabin paralyzed with worry. The thought that he was heading back to that exact same place and situation was terrifying; he was going full-circle. But it was the only way that he had a shot and so he’d do it. He’d do anything.

“Yeah.” His voice was husky with want. “Yeah, me too.”