Sarah sat on the edge of her bed again and cursed Tony for not having even a television to distract her. The quiet did, however, allow her to hear him open and close the drawers of his bureau.
Maybe hunting for condoms?
Sarah smoothed the hem of her nightshirt.
Who am I kidding? If he read my entry, he knows I want to be with him. Why hide in a tent of a nightgown? This trip is about finding myself. Being bold.
She dropped to her knees beside the bed and began to rummage for her lingerie. It was a pink satin baby-doll set, definitely sexier than what she was presently wearing.
Dressed again, Sarah perched on the edge of her bed and waited.
And waited.
Tony dropped his jeans and shirt to the floor beside his bed and slid tiredly beneath the cool sheets in just his boxers. If someone had told him that he’d end the day alone while the woman he wanted to fuck rustled around in a room just one door down the hall, he would have laughed.
But Dean was right.
Sarah deserved better than the way he’d treated her. She was innocent and she trusted him, two things that weighed heavily on his conscience. Earlier that day he’d put aside what he knew was right and found his own pleasure with her. The memory of her orgasm brought him painfully to rock hardness in his boxers.
He could still remember how sweetly she’d spread her legs for him. The taste of her. The scent of her. He’d withheld his own release to give her time to get to know her own. He had told himself he wouldn’t rush her, but when they’d kissed after finding her horse, he’d lost all control and would have forgotten his early resolve had they not been interrupted.
She could leave if she wanted. No one is making her stay here
.
I should take what she is so openly offering me and let her deal with the consequences.
He closed his eyes and images of her warm smile and trusting eyes twisted his gut.
Guilt is available in abundance without inviting more.
Before coming in the house, Tony had gone to see David regarding what Dean had said about Russell’s wife. “You should have told me,” he’d boomed at his manager.
David had shaken his head sadly. “A man hears only what he’s ready to hear. Russell’s troubles were no secret.”
“He got himself fired. He betrayed my trust,” Tony had growled.
“And paid a hefty price for it. You’re one of the few steady employers around. A man would have to be desperate to risk a job in this town.”
“That’s no excuse.”
“There’s not a person on the planet who hasn’t made a mistake, Tony. Some greater than others. But sometimes knowing why a person did it makes the forgiving a whole lot easier.”
Dammit to hell.
David had a way of reasoning a man right out of a fit of anger. Tony pushed back his hat back from his forehead. “How sick is his wife?”
“She has cancer. Doc says she might have a chance if she goes into Dallas for treatment, but who can afford that?”
I can.
I don’t have much of anything else in my life, but money has always come easy.
Tony rubbed one of his temples angrily. “You know that barn we’ve been thinking about building in the far back?” David looked at him blandly, thankfully not addressing the fact that this was the first mention of it. “We’ll need someone to build it. I don’t expect anyone to pay for the material out of pocket. Give Russell an advance and tell him there’s no rush on building.”
After a slight hesitation, David said, “I’ll call him tomorrow.”
Tony nodded and started out the door, then stopped. “I don’t want to talk to him about it.”
“Understood.”
“And I’ll kill the first man I hear speaking poorly of Sarah—here or in town.”
“I’ll pass the word,” David said seriously, then in a lighter tone added, “but if you want some privacy, you may want to stop calling for search parties.”
Tony had glared at David over his shoulder, but David had merely smiled back at him. The man had a point, but that didn’t make hearing it easier.
Lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling, Tony admitted the ugly truth to himself.
I’m making a fool of myself over Sarah and ruining her reputation while I do it.
Nothing matters as much as tasting those sweets lips again. All I want to do is sink my tongue into her wet pussy and lose myself in the scent of her.
He had some serious thinking to do before he spoke to Sarah tomorrow morning, but there was something he’d have to do first. He freed his erection and resigned himself to another night of easing his frustration himself. He emptied his mind of everything except Sarah and how they would have spent the night if he’d chosen to join her in her bedroom instead.
I’m over this adventure.
Sarah dressed in simple jeans, a plain navy blouse, sneakers, and lace underwear
. Oh, yes, today is definitely an underwear day. If I had granny panties I’d be wearing them right about now.
Sarah collected her makeup and shampoo from the small bathroom attached to her bedroom. She placed them in plastic bags and angrily threw them back in her suitcase.
I don’t belong here.
It’s time to realize that the reason I haven’t written anything of substance yet is because I’m not a writer. And the reason this trip has gone from the shower to the toilet is because I’m not the adventurous type.
Sarah picked her cowboy boots up and held them sadly before leaving them beside the bed.
I’ll leave them behind along with all of my ridiculous fantasies about Texas. Look at them. They don’t fit in here any more than I do. How did I not see that?
Sarah turned and zipped one bag closed, continuing her inner rant as she did.
How could I have been so stupid? He doesn’t want me.
What about the orgasm? All those hot kisses?
Curiosity? A challenge? After all, he knew that I hadn’t had one yet. Maybe he wanted to see if he could.
Sarah sighed as she remembered the pleasure he’d brought her, then angrily zipped another piece of luggage shut.
Well, now he knows that he can, and the mystery is gone for him.
Gone like I will be in just a few minutes.
It took her two trips to get her bags into the front hall. She heard Melanie in the kitchen but didn’t ask her for help.
Although she’d probably love to help me load up my SUV, now that she doesn’t have to figure out how to get rid of me.
Sarah held the door open and dragged her large suitcase out the door, down the steps, and to the side of her SUV, in the shade on one side of the driveway. She didn’t bother to wave to the men she saw in the doorway of the barn. It wasn’t like they’d wave back anyway.
How could I have thought that spending any amount of time here would be good for me?
With a forceful swing she flung the heavy bag into the back of her vehicle, using her anger as strength. When she turned around to return to the house for her second bag, she walked right into a wall of muscle.
Tony.
He steadied her with a hand on either arm, but she shook free of him and took a step to the side to get past him. He sidestepped with her, blocking her way. “Want to tell me what has you all riled up this morning?”
She glared up at him. “No.”
I don’t owe you anything. I already paid for this trip with my pride.
“Did something happen?”
Nothing happened, you big buffoon. A big, fat nothing. How can you think that’s okay when I took a risk and shared everything with you?
Hands on her hips, Sarah grit her teeth and said, “I have to get my other bag.”
He suddenly looked as angry as she felt, but she didn’t care. As soon as she hooked up her trailer and collected Scooter he and his mood swings could have Texas all to themselves.
“Did someone say something to you?” he demanded, gripping one of her arms.
She ripped her arm away from him, red embarrassment spread up her neck.
Oh, my God, tell me he didn’t share my stories with anyone. Tell me he and David didn’t have a laugh over how pathetically desperate I am. Oh no, there will be no evidence left behind when I peel out of this place.
As her anger grew, she advanced on. “I want my notebook back.”
Those deep green eyes searched hers. “I don’t have it.”
Liar.
“Do you think this is funny?” she accused.
Tony scratched at his jaw as if trying to unravel a puzzle before answering. “Maybe if you calm down we can . . .”
That’s it.
Something within her snapped. She put a flat hand to the middle of his chest and pushed him back a step. “Calm down? Calm down? I trusted you. Even if you have no interest in me at all, that doesn’t give you the right to treat this like a joke. If you don’t hand it over, I’ll . . . I will . . .”
What do you threaten a huge cowboy with?
Nothing sufficient came to mind so she pushed him again. “Just give it back so I can get the hell out of here.”
He grabbed her hand as it left his chest and held it, pulling her closer until she had to tip her head back to look up at him. His eyes burned with what she
had
labeled as desire for her, but maybe it had been nothing more than the enjoyment of making her look like fool in front of the men who’d stopped working to watch their exchange. “Let go of me,” she snarled.
“Not until you tell me what has you all wound up.”
“Really? You need me to say it? Fine.” She lowered her voice and glared at him. “I left you a message in my notebook last night. I put it right on your bed. Are you telling me that you didn’t see it?”
A glimmer of a smile stretched his lips. “A message? In your notebook?
The
notebook?”
He’s not pretending. He really doesn’t know what I’m talking about.
Sarah took a few deep, calming breaths.
How could he not have seen it? I put it right in the middle of his pillows. Notebooks don’t walk away on their own, and we’re the only two in the house.
Besides Melanie.
Sarah stomped an angry foot.
Score two for the angry housekeeper.
Sarah’s blood pressure skyrocketed when she peeked past Tony and saw Melanie standing in front of the porch’s screen door.
Pulling out of Tony’s grasp, Sarah stormed up the steps to confront her nemesis. “What did I ever do to you?”
Melanie looked past her and drawled, “Tony, call off your girlfriend. She looks rabid.”
The snide comment did nothing to lessen Sarah’s fury. “I’ll show you rabid. If you don’t hand over what you have of mine, you’ll discover why the North won the Civil War.”
In the background she heard David say, “It’s better to let them sort it out, Tony.”
Melanie went nose to nose with Sarah. “I don’t have anything of yours, but if you think your scrawny Yankee ass can take me, try it.”
After a lifetime of peacemaking, Sarah readied herself for her first real fight. Embarrassment about the night before combined to the anger she’d cultivated this morning and swirled through her, making it impossible for Sarah to see past her own fury.
The screen door opened and shut behind them and a small male voice asked, “Mama, what are you yelling about?”
Not taking her eyes off Sarah, Melanie said, “Go back in the house, Jace.”
Oh, sure, bring out a kid so I can’t slap you.
Wait, Melanie has a kid?
Sarah looked down at the brown-haired, tanned four-or-so-year-old boy. Beneath one of his arms he held the very thing she was looking for. With a mouth suddenly as dry as the Texas desert, Sarah asked, “Where’d you find that notebook?”
Jace clutched it to his stomach and asked, “My new coloring book? I found it while we were cleaning yesterday.”
“You help your mom clean?” Sarah asked as wave after wave of new embarrassment threatened to drown out his answer.
“Sure,” he said, then he looked up at his mother guiltily. “Tony doesn’t mind if I use his stuff as long as I don’t talk to him. I can keep it, right, Mama?”
Sarah turned away from Melanie and covered her face.
Oh, my God. Please tell me he can’t read.
All aggression gone, Melanie dropped to her knees beside her son and touched his cheek with one hand. “It’s not yours, baby. You have to give it back.”
Jace hugged his new possession closer to him. “I already drawed in it.”
Feeling about as low as a person could, Sarah turned back and said, “Normally I’d let him keep it, but I can’t.” She went about three shades of red as her eyes met Tony’s.
This is not funny.
She glared at him.
His lips twitched with amusement, but he was smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself.
Melanie eased the notebook out of her son’s grasp as she promised, “I’ll buy you a nice new one next time we go to town.”
Unhappy, her son spun and stormed into the house. Melanie handed the spiral book to Sarah, all of the warmth she’d shown a moment ago gone along with her son. She said, “He won’t touch your things again.”
Add asshole to my list of failings.
What do you say when everything you’ve said so far has been wrong?
“Melanie . . .”
Without a word, Melanie turned away and entered the house. It didn’t help that Sarah noticed she still had a full male audience.
If I wasn’t sure what they all thought of me before, there isn’t much need to guess now.
Sarah tucked her notebook beneath one arm, picked up her smaller pieces of luggage and walked down the porch steps.
Tony said something to David, who nodded in agreement and headed back toward the barn. With a flick of his head, Tony sent the ranch hands scattering.
“Stay,” Tony said softly as she walked past him to her vehicle.
Sarah stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes. “Since I can’t think of another way to embarrass myself here, I thought I should try a new location.”