Authors: Dez Burke
Jordan had enough to feel guilty about. He could categorically say he’d never done a dishonest thing in his grown up life, be it in business or personal matters. He existed in black and white and this thing with Tania was the one gray area in his conduct and he certainly wasn’t proud of it.
He’d convinced himself in the beginning that he’d been doing her a favor but that was not enough excuse. He was wrong, plain and simple. He could never be sure how Tania would take it but he wasn’t eager to find out.
“A week from now this would be all behind us; my one guilty secret,” Jordan said aloud almost to himself. Tommy was busy looking through his smartphone, not even listening as he suddenly frowned.
“Hey, did you say you were supposed to be with her for a charity thing on Thursday?” Tommy asked thoughtfully. “Could it be that fund-raising dinner you're meant to attend for the Beecroft Foundation?”
Jordan’s eyebrows rose. “I’m not sure. I’ll have to ask my secretary. You’re sure the Beecroft thing’s on Thursday?”
“Yeah,” Tommy said. “We both got invites last month, remember? But I’m going to be out of town by then on business and will miss the whole shindig. What are the chances it might be the same event Tiana expects you to attend with her?”
“She hasn’t emailed me yet with the details, but there’s a possibility,” Jordan said, somewhat worriedly. He was meant to deliver a brief speech at that function. He was a major sponsor of that charity and always used his links with the big corporations to gather support for its cause. Imagining that he might just have to attend the event as Tiana’s male escort made him break out inexplicably in a sweat.
Tommy was looking at him interestedly. “I think you should wait to hear from her before you start to feel concerned. It could be two different events and you’ll just have to cancel with her. But what if it’s one and the same? She’d definitely find out who you are when you give your speech. How are you going to explain that a big-time city financier mastermind is doubling as a gigolo in his spare time? Somehow, I don’t think she’ll buy it.”
Jordan placed fingers to his throbbing temples. Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Looks like you may just have to come clean after all,” Tommy said with a grunt as he sat back, looking far more pleased than the situation warranted. Jordan didn’t expect his friend to feel sorry for him but he needn’t look so smug.
***
Tiana could confide in Josie the way she couldn’t with Alyssa. Josie had been living next door to Tiana for the past year and both women got along so well you’d think they’d known for ages. Ever since they found out they came from the same hometown in the South, they’d gotten closer and spent a lot of time visiting each other’s apartments. They led different lifestyles; Tiana had a career in the corporate environment while Josie turned her hobby into her trade; she was a successful fine artist who sold her portraits in upscale art galleries and also did private commissions which fetched a pretty sum.
She’d let Tiana into her studio within her apartment and Tiana sat in a comfy chair nursing a coffee mug while Josie worked on a painting for a client’s young child.
“You don’t think me too much of a degenerate for hiring a male escort, do you?” Tiana blurted, her cheeks pinking. She’d told Josie everything and her friend and neighbor hadn’t batted a single eyelid. Though Josie did look back from her canvas in surprise at Tiana’s blunt choice of words.
“It’s not something I’d ever do but there’s no doubt I admire your guts,” Josie said, pushing up her trendy glasses higher on her rounded nose. She was very slender and petite, her skin tone several shades lighter than Tiana’s due to her mixed Eastern Asian and Trinidadian ancestry. Tiana had always openly envied Josie’s girlishly slight figure while Josie complained that she’d give anything to be able to put on some padding to match Tiana’s gifts in the curves department.
“I know it’s far from common,” Tiana said glumly, staring into her dark brew. “I was just so desperate for a date and then I got in way over my head. I don’t know what I’ve been thinking.”
“But you did say this Jordan fellow came highly recommended from a friend’s friend,” Josie pointed out as she went on with her painting.
Her portraiture style was very realistic and Tiana couldn’t help admiring the adorable rendering of the cheeky child as it progressed.
Deep within, she told herself how she hated being reminded that Jordan had been with other women in his capacity as a gigolo. She tried to convince herself it was similar to meeting someone who just happened to have a lot of ex-girlfriends or past lovers. But Tiana knew this was entirely different. She had men in her past too and most probably in her future but she didn’t indulge in casual sex with them. That’s what Jordan did and though she couldn’t judge him for it she still felt tortured that she was so drawn to him despite his way of life.
“So we can definitely say you’re not the only one who’s tried it,” continued Josie with a sensible tone. “It’s probably not as popular a market as men using female escorts or call girls but the market exists all the same.”
“I know that; of course.” Tiana sighed heavily, turning to look out of the window at the bright lights over the city showing from the high-rise apartment.
Josie glanced at Tiana and then placed her brush down, wiped off her hands and came to sit on the arm of Tania’s chair, her expression kind. “You aren’t really bothered about the hiring a gigolo part, are you? You’re more cut up about falling for one. So now what are you going to do?”
Josie had hit the nail on the head, Tania felt as she shook her head in confusion. “I don’t know if it’s really so much about falling for him but being so struck by him I find it hard to back away. I’m supposed to be attending a function with him next week and yet I’m itching with the thought that I shouldn’t be seeing him again knowing I’m not as immune to him as I should be.”
“He’s really that hot?” Josie asked with interest.
Tiana had to smile, though ruefully. “Even you couldn’t resist him.”
Josie drew back with eyebrows raised high. “Hmmm hmm. I can’t deny I’ve always been curious about the black woman-white male dynamic,” Josie mused, rubbing her chin with impish contemplation. “Never really had the opportunity to be tempted but then there’s that one time seeing James Franco in cornrows got me really thinking: I’d do
him
in a heartbeat.”
Tiana elbowed her playfully. “I’m serious here! Jordan’s just so…he’s different. I keep saying that to myself even though I can’t really explain how.” She sobered as she wrapped her hands around her mug. “It’s not even about the race thing – at all. That never came through as an issue even from him.” She closed her eyes briefly and just pictured him the way she remembered. Charming and self-assured with loads of savoir faire but not in an over-smooth way. And his touch – dear heaven, his touch…melted her down like a Dali painting.
Tiana only had to close her eyes and she could see his face; lean-jawed and cleanly cut with slashes in his jaw when he smiled. His eyes were a blazing dark grey that could cut through her belly with just one look; his blue-black hair so thick her fingers twanged in need to run through the luxuriant locks. His chiseled nose; finely outlined and just as kissable as his lips. Damn, those lips. The things he did with them be it on her mouth above or below…Tiana felt a hidden tremor course through her veins at the memories.
“I’ve never believed great sex should be a foundation for true emotion,” Tiana said softly, eyes downcast. “A man’s prodigious expertise in bed didn’t automatically buy him a place in a woman’s heart. I’m not saying I’m totally sure, but I feel in my heart that it’s more than just his hot bedroom skills that makes Jordan so captivating to me. I really wish I had the chance to explore where it could lead. But I can’t.”
Josie regarded Tiana thoughtfully for some moments, before saying gaily, “Why don’t we go out tonight? Check out my new favorite bar and grill. Just picture it: monster burgers – I’m talking eye level size here, plus meatloaf and cream cheese mashed potatoes -”
“Um…I’m not really hungry…,” Tiana began doubtfully but Josie held up her hand.
“Now now, Tiana Cole, hold up lemme finish. There’re at least twenty prime beers on tap – and it’s playoff season so you’ll absolutely love the big screens. And oh, best of all it’s
very
dude-friendly. We’re bound to make some new friends.”
She wriggled her eyebrows meaningfully, a grin splitting her pretty face. Tiana still felt tentative about socializing especially in her mood but she figured going out beat sitting around in her old sweats and tank going on and on about Jordan. Josie was genuinely fun to be with when they went on. She got along with anyone and had no problem at all meeting people especially guys. Besides they were both young and single so there really wasn’t anything to stop them hanging out in a bar and grill and having fun.
Just the effort of dressing up and leaving the house gave Tiana something to look forward to though she wasn’t so sure about the ‘making new friends’ part – new friends meaning the male variety, of course. Tiana had been unattached for more than a half-year now but she still wasn’t enthusiastic about diving into the dating pool just yet.
Giving Josie a smile, Tiana let herself get dragged to her feet. Looking sheepish, she said gamely, “Sorry if I sounded so needy – and I promise not to be a wet-blanket tonight. Let’s do this.”
“Alright!” Josie hurrahed, patting Tiana’s shoulder firmly. “We’ll have you over your Jordan crush in no time!”
It sure as hell felt more than a crush – how about a full-on obsession what with daydreaming about him all day and then fantasizing about him all night…But Tiana let Josie’s comment slide and went over to her place to get ready for their impromptu outing.
Chapter Eight
Jordan felt the blood course straight from his brain down to his groin at the sound of Tiana’s voice. She’d barely spoken five words, “Hello Jordan. It’s me, Tiana.” And already he got hard as a plank. Her cultured, smooth-lined voice did things to his senses no woman ever could. Just hearing her speak brought the stimulating visual of Tiana saying his name breathlessly as he’d fucked her face to face, bringing her to a headboard-banging climax.
He was at his desk, and the moment he heard her voice on the line, he dismissed his secretary who’d been taking notes on some correspondence he wanted sent out to clients. Once the door shut behind her, Jordan rose and held the phone to his ear, looking out the window at the cityscape.
“Hi, Tiana. Great to hear from you.”
“Thank you.” She paused, and he waited, willing his cock to stop going crazy and diminish from its bulge that had his pants feeling too damned tight.
“I know I was supposed to email you details about the event on Thursday,” she continued.
Again she paused and Jordan felt like running his fingers through his hair in a state of disturbance. How the hell had he let this female get to him so bad? What was it about her? She wasn’t like any woman he’d ever been with but she already knew that. Was it just to do with the exoticism of being with a black woman? Some might look at it that way. Here was Jordan Hancock, having his first sample of some ‘brown sugar’ and he couldn’t get enough, right? She’d called him on Monday, just days after their first encounter, and he hadn’t hesitated to meet her for a few hours of sex. Paid for, no less. He remembered slipping the money he didn’t want or need into his pocket and feeling like an absolute shit yet telling himself at least, he was giving her what she craved.
Yeah, sure. Jordan the Good Samaritan to sex-deprived women. How noble, he mocked himself. And the worst part was that if she suggested they meet up again, he knew he’d agree. He’d drop everything
again
and show up wherever she wanted, to whatever she wanted just to have her one more time. Even though it was all a farce; with him pretending to be what he wasn’t. But then was that so corrupt? He’d become what she wanted him to be for her. No one else. Wasn’t that enough to show he wasn’t a bad guy?
“Tiana,” he probed when the silence went on and on. “Are you okay?”
He was worried now. Was she about to call off the arrangement to join her for the charity event? He knew he should be relieved if she did. He still hadn’t figured out how the hell he was going to handle that improbable situation.
“Yes. I’m fine. It’s just that…well, I didn’t have your email so I went back to the Gents4Ladies site and then couldn’t find your profile there anymore,” she explained in a sudden rush that made him stiffen. “You took it down. Why?”
Jordan’s brain was trying to work on overdrive. What could he tell her? That he was retiring, getting out of the game? Or why not the truth? That whoever had his details registered on that site had apparently got bored with the prank and deleted the profile they’d set up? Would she believe him? Would she forgive him for whatever slight she might feel?
Jordan wasn’t ready to admit to himself why it mattered what Tiana thought. “I had it taken down. I didn’t need an online presence anymore.”
He decided to break it to her gently. And not on the bloody phone. But then she started speaking again.
“Oh I see. I guess you’ve been getting so many referrals you wouldn’t need to advertise your services as much as before. After all I heard about you from a friend so…”