She had already acknowledged and accepted them as her mates, however, and as Jarek had pointed out, she had just accepted three others, as far as she knew, to take their places. Granted, they had not, apparently, succeeded in sewing their seed in the first attempt and it was not uncommon for females of many species to chose another mate if the first did not successfully impregnate her, but it still rankled. No matter how many times he assured himself that it did not matter since, in the end, they would breed with her, it was a source of dissatisfaction that made it very difficult to feel the sense of triumph and satisfaction that he had expected to feel.
He did not like it, he decided. It did not matter why he did not like it only that he did not!
Unfortunately, he was not in any position to inform her that they had spiked her attempt to replace them by assuming another guise!
Much of the strange disorientation had vanished by the time Kate had completed her morning ritual, but her search for an explanation for it still hadn't turned up an answer that satisfied her. She felt hung-over. Since she wasn't actually in the habit of drinking, she supposed she could put the odd weakness and confusion down to the drink she'd had the night before, but that didn't completely satisfy her either. Adding the sex she'd indulged in to the equation seemed a little more convincing as an explanation and yet still left her with a niggling of uneasiness.
Illness? That thought sent a hot/cold adrenaline rush through her that sped her heart up uncomfortably.
Like all of the scientists on the project, however, she'd been inoculated against everything they could think of including several new immunizations developed specifically for colonists from the microbes that had been collected directly from Sirius. In any case, they hadn't actually encountered anything, as of yet, that differed tremendously from microbes they were at least somewhat familiar with.
They'd been relieved but not extremely surprised to discover that the theory of panspermia had been proven beyond doubt by their research into the microbes of Sirius. Colonization beyond their own star-system might be a new development, but they'd been a multi-planet species for decades now, and a great deal of research had been done on every world they'd conquered to date. Granted, the worlds to date that had been colonized had all been in their own system and it had seemed more reasonable that they hadn't encountered microbes that hadn't differed a great deal from those that resided on Earth itself. However each new environment they studied that had yielded up the same, or cousins of, familiar virus and bacteria that was already known had cemented their understanding of life in the universe and convinced them long since to accept panspermia as a fact and not just a theory.
Between that fact and the immunizations, she ought to be able to dismiss any fears that she'd come down with something completely unknown and possibly deadly.
It was next to impossible to reason the fear away, though, once it had planted itself in her mind even though a somewhat frantic internal self-examination produced the information that she didn't feel anything else that seemed to be a symptom-just weak and vaguely disoriented-which could be explained away with the night she'd just had.
There were always new mutations, the evil side of her brain reminded her. Even on Earth itself, environment played a role in producing new strains of old enemies that could be deadly.
She'd been studying the Sirians for over a year, though, with no ill effects.
Of course, in the beginning, she'd taken care to wear protective gear when she went into the habitat.
Despite the fact that they continued to take precautions not to cross-contaminate their environment with the alien world they were studying, however, they had not only relaxed a great deal once their research had assured them that the microbial life of Sirius was much the same as Earth's. There was also the inescapable fact that they were embarking on a massive colonization project that was going to make it nearly impossible to prevent cross-contamination for very long at all.
She still couldn't completely dismiss her uneasiness, but she finally managed to push it to the back of her mind with the reflection that she was risking raising alarms in the Sirians by 'hiding out' in the bathroom. She discovered that anxiety was misplaced once she left the bathroom. The Sirians had deserted the bedroom, but she discovered them in the living area of her home, examining everything curiously.
They didn't seem the least bit alarmed about the discovery that she'd packed up most of her belongings since their first visit, however, merely curious-and maybe a little confused.
It dawned on her abruptly that she knew almost nothing at all about them. She'd spent a year studying them with the mindset that they were animals and that preconception had skewed her findings so radically that she might as well not have studied them at all. The scientists that had studied their biology had probably reached as many false conclusions as she had, and were probably still more knowledgeable about them than she was.
It occurred to her as she watched them, however, that they seemed more guileless and innocent than lacking in intelligence. A layman might arrive at the conclusion that they weren't particularly bright given the fact that they clearly didn't understand what the half of her stuff was let alone what it was for, but she'd been enlightened. She wasn't going to jump to such a conclusion again!
Guileless, though. Subterfuge, despite their behavior of late, didn't seem to be intrinsic to them.
Otherwise, she thought it might occur to them that their behavior alone was a dead giveaway that they were aliens and that everything was completely unfamiliar to them.
Acknowledging her presence finally-She didn't think they had only just noticed her arrival-Ronan paused in his examination of her packing crates and straightened, studying her face with a piercing look that made it abundantly clear that he knew something was up even if he hadn't figured out what.
A wave of dizziness washed over her. It suddenly seemed surreal that she had concluded these 'men'
were aliens when they looked nothing like the creatures she'd studied. Almost as bizarre as the fact that she knew-knew-that the one staring at her was the one she'd named Ronan-regardless of the fact that the face was unfamiliar to her now.
"What dese?"
Kate blinked back to reality, relieved that the wave of dizziness passed off so quickly that she was left wondering if it hadn't been physical at all but rather disorientation from her conclusions. Briefly, she debated whether to admit what they were or not. It occurred to her forcefully, however, that she'd been presented with the opening she needed. "Packing crates," she managed, forcing a bright smile. "I'm a colonist-Well, will be."
Discovering she couldn't maintain the pretense that she was completely unaware of who and what they were, she looked away and then headed toward her kitchen. "The next colony ship leaves for Sirius next week. I plan to be on it," she added, trying to sound both excited and off-hand at the same time.
She was a little surprised, and disappointed if it came to that, that they didn't immediately leap on the lure she'd thrown out. Instead, when she nerved herself to peek at them to gauge their reaction, she discovered that they'd returned to examining the crates.
"You guys hungry?"
That suggestion brought them into the kitchen.
Her skin prickled when they spread out rather than settling on the stools to wait and watch while she prepared food.
"Splain," Ronan said, propping against the counter beside her and folding his arms.
The tone of his voice, even the stance he'd assumed, was so very human-like-so very alpha, commanding Earth male-that it set Kate's back up.
It also made her uneasy since it abruptly occurred to her that the Sirians might not have realized the motive behind their abduction. If they were as guileless as she'd concluded earlier there was no reason for them to have reached such a determination. Clearly, regardless of their superior understanding, the Sirians had no civilization even approaching that of Earth. Otherwise, something would have been detected in the surveys.
Even if that wasn't the case, these Sirians would certainly have no way of reaching such a conclusion, she thought unhappily. They'd never actually even been to their home world!
Maybe that was a good thing, though, she thought hopefully? Maybe they wouldn't see past the opportunity to return to their world? Maybe they wouldn't instantly become hostile when they realized humans were invading their world with an eye to claiming it for their own?
"Well," she said a little shakily, focusing on the food she was preparing, "I'm sure you must know about the new world we discovered in the Sirian system and that it's been opened for colonization? They say it's a lot like Earth-actually like Earth before Earth became so overpopulated and destabilized because of the strain on its resources."
She was babbling in her nervousness, she realized, but maybe that wasn't all bad? Maybe they would put it down to excitement rather than the fear it actually was? "Anyway, I didn't have any interest in becoming a colonist on any of the moons we've settled in this system. I mean, they call them worlds, but let's face it the environment is totally hostile for humans."
She immediately regretted her choice of words and hastened onward in the hope of glossing over it. "I've seen pictures of this place-the world they've named Sirius A. And it's just beautiful. I think I could actually feel at home there. I hope so, anyway. Of course, it's going to be a lot different from living here on Earth, but that isn't all bad considering … considering how bad things are here now."
She stopped and flicked a glance at Ronan to see how he was taking her babble. He was frowning, but she couldn't decide whether it was because she'd completely lost him because she was talking too fast for him to grasp her language, or if he was angry. He didn't seem angry.
"Dey take spaceship back to …. You go to dis odder world?"
For the life of her, Kate absolutely could not prevent her color from fluctuating at his near slip. She wasn't worth a damn at subterfuge herself! "Yes, I'm going to the new world to live," she said quickly. "I don't suppose that's why you and your bro … uh … your friends are here? Dare I hope that you plan on going, too?"
Inwardly, she kicked herself. He'd told her they were his brothers, she reminded herself, the time before!
Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
He studied her for a long moment, long enough she knew he hadn't missed her slip, and then glanced at the other two. "Yes. We go, also."
She wasn't going to be able to pull this off! She should have known she couldn't, she thought despairingly. She was a scientist! She didn't have the experience or the disposition for subterfuge on this scale!
Maybe social deception, but even that was debatable!
"But …! That's just wonderful!" she exclaimed with what enthusiasm she could muster. "And here I was thinking I wouldn't get the chance to see you guys again!"
They didn't receive that well she discovered when she turned to include all of them in her smile of pleased surprise.
Jarek, who was currently calling himself Jared, looked confused and not terribly happy. "We are mated
…."
Kate felt heat wash over her. Complete confusion followed for a handful of moments before it struck her, forcibly enough it almost seemed like a physical blow that knocked the breath from her, that, to his mind, they hadn't had a wild night of sex. He thought he had mated with her.
They all did.
Oh god!
She didn't know why it hadn't occurred to her that they probably wouldn't consider sex in the same light that humans did.
Maybe because she was human and was used to thinking like one?
Her horror was so profound as it sank in that they thought they'd mated with her-mated in the sense that most lower animals considered sex-that she couldn't formulate a rational thought for many moments. Even when her shock wore thin enough to allow for a little reason she couldn't think of a way to react or anything to say to cover her 'slip'. She chuckled a little hysterically, trying to force her mind to produce something useable.
"Well … uh … yes." She chuckled again, still struggling with something to say that wouldn't give away the fact that she knew they were Sirians and at the same time would soothe their obvious anger and eliminate their confusion. "We certainly did … uh … mate! And it was … fabulous, really! I just didn't dare assume that you wanted it to be more permanent."
All three of them frowned at her ferociously, scaring her badly enough that her mind went blank for several moments.
She chuckled again, feeling cold sweat pop from her pores. "I mean, I just assumed you'd move on and mate again, you know?"
Oh god! Why hadn't she sat down and tried to reason through the way they might consider this?
Not that it would have done her any good, really! Because she didn't understand them at all!
Calming herself with an effort, thinking frantically, she finally decided that she should consider their reactions as an indication that they must see sex in the same, or at least a similar way, to many of Earth's creatures. They thought they'd mated and they would expect to stay with the female they'd chosen until she produced. As distressed as she was, it certainly seemed to her that that was what they were suggesting.
That thought was almost as frightening in implications as it was a relief on another level.
She didn't think that she could have made herself try such an insane thing if that had occurred to her when she was considering luring them onboard the colony ship with sex!
The food she'd been preparing began to burn. The smell distracted her, but the ruination of the food also threw her into more disorder. She was shaking by the time she managed to clean up the mess and dispose of it.
Fortunately, it didn't produce enough smoke to alert the fire department!
She wanted, in the worst sort of way, to retreat and lock herself in her room to collect herself and her wild thoughts into some semblance of order, but she didn't have that luxury. She'd taken this upon herself. She had to handle it. The thought that she might actually be in danger because of her reaction did occur to her, but she shuttled it quickly to the back of her mind.