Then he turned over and she was left wondering if it had been nothing more than a reluctance to toss her off while he shifted into a more comfortable position. The brief flare of confusion and disappointment abated when he snugged her against his chest instead of releasing her completely.
She settled her cheek more comfortably and allowed herself to drift toward sleep. As she lay drowsing, though, she recalled what had aroused her from sleep to start with.
She'd heard faint, almost furtive movement at the door of her cabin and gotten up to investigate-and found Dax.
"Why were you at my door?" she asked drowsily.
Tonight was my night to guard you from harm.
Kate rolled that around in her mind for a few moments. His night? Indicating they took turns? A mixture of emotions flitted through her. "What do you think might harm me? We're on a ship. There's no threat here.
Everyone was carefully screened."
How do you know this?
Kate released a sound of indulgent amusement. "It's standard procedure. Believe me our government screens everyone carefully. Everyone has to go through rigid examinations to determine their health-both physical and mental-their skills, and their genetics to become a colonist. Only the best of the best will do."
How do you know that their objective is to send only the best? Maybe they want the best to stay and want to remove the least desirable?
Uneasiness crawled along Kate's spine. "That certainly isn't very flattering to me!" she said in an attempt to lighten the vague sense of anxiety that had crept into her mind to wonder if he knew something she didn't.
You and the others like Sissy applied to become colonists. What of those that were brought onboard by the military? Those that you said the government had forced to come? There were those among the humans caged with us who were certainly not the best of humans that we have encountered-not in any way. Some had come from other prisons before.
Kate pulled away from him abruptly and stared at him. "You're sure?" She realized she didn't actually need him to confirm, however, and she didn't feel even a flicker of doubt that he was telling the truth.
It made too much sense. Why, indeed, would the government only want to send the best of the best away and keep society's dregs for the home world?
"Oh god! Oh my god!" They were going into a potentially hostile environment with people who couldn't be trusted to behave in a socially acceptable manner on their own world-with all of the controls they had in place there!
Cold fear crept over her as she considered the implications.
Dax gathered her close again. You belong to me. I will not allow harm to come to you.
It was comforting and yet left her with a strange sense of loss, too. It wasn't until she was on the edge of sleep that she realized why it made her sad.
It hinted at true feelings for her and yet she knew deep down that it was nothing more than the primal instinct to protect his young. Dax wasn't human. He couldn't possibly understand, or feel, the bonds of affection that humans built between them.
* * * *
Kate debated whether it would be more practical, and safer for the Sirians, if she simply moved into their cabin with them, but it was already cramped, as Ronan had pointed out. On the other hand, she didn't think it was a good idea to allow them to stand guard outside her cabin during the 'night' periods either.
And she didn't feel nearly as safe being alone after the discussion that she'd had with Dax.
She compromised by insisting that if they were determined to stand watch over her, they were going to have to do it inside. She had a feeling that that was a great deal more appealing to them than standing outside her door anyway.
She had mixed feelings about it herself. She didn't actually object to having a sleeping partner at night. It made her feel safer and the sex was good even when she wasn't particularly in the mood-and great when she was.
There was a downside. It seemed there always was one.
The downside was a biggy in this case, however.
No matter how many times she told herself that the growing closeness she felt between herself and the Sirians was an illusion-that Ronan, Dax, and Jarek were merely following their natural instinct to guard 'their nestlings', she couldn't convince her heart.
She tried to tell herself that it was a sort of transference thing, that she'd grown fond of the Sirians when they were her test subjects and dependent upon her. It was just that affection, already developed, her pleasure in mentoring when they were so quick to learn, and her enjoyment of them as lovers that made her feel … way more fondness than she should have.
"You're too attached to them," Sissy observed one day when Kate met with her in the Rec room to update Sissy on their progress. "You've lost any objectivity you might have had. And, truthfully, I'm not sure you ever were as objective as you should have been."
Kate felt herself blushing with a mixture of guilt and resentment. "So … you're saying I'm giving them more credit than they deserve? You don't think they've made as much progress as I do?"
Sissy released an irritated huff. "I'm not disputing that. As bad as I hate to admit it, I think you were right. The Sirians have a capacity for learning that leaves us humans in the dust. What I'm trying to point out is that they are imitators, Kate. They've picked up absolutely everything you've set out to teach them. Even their language skills are vastly improved. Granted, they're still a bit rough around the edges as far as social skills, but they could pass for an uncouth human pretty easily."
Kate's anger flared a little higher. "I'm not so prejudiced that I can't see that they haven't entirely grasped some of the finer points of polite behavior, but-honest to god, Sissy!-they haven't had years to learn these things! It's only been a few weeks."
"Plus a year more or less. They were just as busy studying us while we had them in the habitat as we were studying them."
Kate's lips tightened. "So a little over a year! Except I wasn't trying to teach them then. And they didn't have a lot of humans to learn from-or situations."
"They haven't had a lot of situations to learn from lately either-not when they don't interact with anyone but you. And you're completely missing my point," Sissy said, anger threading her voice despite the fact that she kept her tone low since they were in a public place. "I'm worried about your … attachment to them, Kate!
I'm particularly worried when you seem determined to ignore the most basic, known fact about the Sirians!
They are natural born imitators. I'm not trying to pry into your personal life, but …."
"But you're going to just the same."
"No, I'm not! I've no desire to hear the gritty details, thank you! I'm just curious to know if you, as a scientist, have actually learned a damned thing about them or if they're the ones reaping the entire benefit of your little experiment! I'm afraid that you're going to get hurt if you allow yourself to believe that they …
reciprocate your feelings."
That comment struck a nerve despite Kate's anger and she felt her emotions take a sharp dip. It was enough of an indicator that Sissy was right. She wasn't objective at all. She was emotionally involved.
She cleared her throat. "I'm fond of them. I'm not even going to try to deny it. But you know as well as I do that it isn't safe for them to interact with any of the other colonists until they can pass as humans."
Sissy stared at her. "Well maybe it hasn't occurred to you-since you're so focused on their protection-that you might well be training them to be more dangerous enemies if this … project goes sour? They will know all about us and we still know damned little about them!"
"How much do you think they can tell me when they've never been on their home world and never had any chance to interact with their own kind?" Kate said angrily. "If you're insinuating that they're gathering intell
…."
"They could be. That's the problem, Kate, the one you refuse to see. You've been totally focused on teaching them how to completely fool us-when you haven't been focused on … bedroom gymnastics! Have you got some crazy idea that you can … mold them into human beings and live happily ever after with them?
Because they aren't human! They are never going to be human even if they can imitate us right down to the smallest molecule-they'll still be imitations mimicking human behavior." She snapped her fingers. "And just like that they could change the way they look and even you would never know them if they walked by you!"
Kate was so distressed and angry that she couldn't think straight but, as badly as she hated to admit it, Sissy had raised some valid concerns … and planted seeds of doubt that she wanted very badly to dispute.
Even she had worried about the fact that their minds seemed to work so totally different from the human mind. Everything about them was different.
"The morphing is a defense mechanism," she said finally, defensively.
"Which they also used to ensnare you in their mating/gathering agenda. What makes you think any part of that original scheme has changed? How can you possibly guess what other situations might arise that would convince them to use their abilities in defense of their species? What if their clan members have no interest in befriending humans? Whose side do you think they'll be on then?"
If Kate had had her rathers, she would have far preferred that the pseudo Willams brothers remained in their cabin for the duration of the trip. Sissy had planted more doubts in her mind than she liked. Much of it, she'd managed to dismiss for the simple reason that she was convinced that Sissy was way off the mark in her suggestion that the Sirians in general might be inclined to be hostile toward humans. If any of them had reason to feel hostility, Ronan, Dax, and Jarek certainly did. They'd been plucked from their home world, caged, and not just treated like animals, but guinea pigs-poked and prodded with a complete, clinical disregard for any pain or suffering that might be inflicted.
Of course, she supposed that most people, Sissy included, might view their annihilation of the guards sent to destroy them as an act of violent hostility, but she didn't. They'd acted to preserve their lives and they hadn't attacked at any time since. It hadn't been an unprovoked assault to start with.
If they were representatives of their species, then she didn't see that they had a tendency toward aggression.
Humans did, unfortunately, and she thought that would be their biggest problem-not the Sirians who had every right to feel threatened by the human invasion, but her people.
The doubts Sissy had sewn revolved around her objectivity as to whether they were capable of interacting with humans without giving themselves away. Had she just grown used to their ways? Or was their behavior now at least close enough that, at the very worst, people would just think they were a little odd?
Their accents were still fairly thick and they still spoke like English wasn't their first language-which could be a bad thing if there was anyone on board who actually knew the men-the real ones-because they were supposed to be white, English speaking Americans.
She didn't see why they couldn't pretty much avoid speaking at all, though. They could nod and mouth the canned pleasantries she'd taught them and refuse to be drawn into conversation. That certainly ought to work unless they did run into anyone that knew them.
In which case, they were in trouble.
Otherwise, she didn't believe there would be a problem. They'd become familiar with the accoutrements of human society and their 'things'. They didn't eat with their hands-or faces. They'd very carefully mimicked her from the first time they'd shared a meal and no longer looked awkward handling utensils and such. They knew how pretty much everything worked and no longer stopped and examined everything 'new' that they discovered.
She wasn't as convinced as she wanted to be, however, when it was announced that there would be a party to celebrate the Eden III having reached the outer edge of their new solar system.
Everyone was expected to attend.
They might be more conspicuous by their absence than their presence or she would've insisted that they not go at all. She toyed with the idea that there would be so many people at the party that the absence of a handful would go unnoticed but, unfortunately, Ronan, Dax, and Jarek had already gained a certain notoriety from their stint in the onboard colony jail.
She was on edge long before they reached the Rec Room where the party was being held. She'd tried to time their arrival so that there would already be a large enough gathering to make it less likely they would attract attention but not so late as to be noticed as last to arrive.
The refreshments are being served buffet style, she told the men without glancing at them. Just follow me and do what I do, ok?
She was a little miffed that Sissy hadn't met up with them and arrived with them at the party and more miffed when she spotted Sissy and Sissy made a great pretense of not seeing her. Coward, she thought angrily, deciding to snub Sissy since she was clearly trying to distance herself in case of trouble and moving purposefully toward the serving tables through the people already thronging the room.
You speak of your friend? Ronan said curiously.
Kate uttered a snort of irritation. "I'm beginning to wonder," she muttered.
I do not understand, Jarek responded.
"I'll explain it another time," Kate said distractedly as she reached the table and took a plate. She discovered when she glanced down the table to see what the selection was that the woman nearest to her had glanced at her when she spoke and then glanced at the Sirians. She smiled at the woman automatically and then looked up at Ronan and smiled more easily. "This all looks delicious. Hopefully, it is. I'm starving."
Ronan returned her smile with one of his own, flicked a look at the woman, and merely nodded.
Relief flickered through Kate. Finger food. Great! We won't have to worry about finding a table to sit down to eat-which is good because that doesn't look like it's going to happen. Balancing the plate and a beverage might be a challenge.
Sissy had disappeared by the time they'd made their way down the serving table and paused to look around for a place to settle. Dismissing her friend from her mind with an effort, Kate focused on trying to find a quiet, out of the way, spot. There wasn't one. There seemed to be twice as many people in the Rec room by the time they'd gotten to the end of the buffet and grabbed a glass. There were also very few tables or chairs. The room had obviously been cleared of as much of the furnishings as possible to allow standing room.
How thoughtful of whoever had planned the party!
With the sense that she was doomed to stand around with a glass in one hand and a plateful of food she could only stare at in the other, Kate discarded the notion of any privacy at all and began a search for anything that might make eating possible. They finally found a tiny table full of empty glasses near one wall-or bulkhead as they were referred to on the ship. Setting her glass down on the tabletop, Kate pushed the empties more tightly together to clear an opening so that the guys could set their own glasses down.
In silence, they ate. The food might as well have been cardboard for all Kate noticed. It hit the bottom of her stomach when she chewed and swallowed like so many rocks. She didn't realize she was searching the crowd for the one friendly face she knew until she met Sissy's gaze across the room. She looked away immediately and pointedly. "Pretty good, huh?" she asked when she noticed the Sirians had already cleaned their plates.
They'd also emptied their glasses and it wasn't until she took a sip from her own that she discovered that it was wine. She glanced at the men sharply as it occurred to her to wonder what effect the alcohol might have on them.
They'd completely adopted a human physiology, though, she reassured herself. It shouldn't affect them any more than it would anyone else.
All three men were looking somewhat longingly at the table laden with food, she discovered. She wrestled with her anxiety about them striking off on their own and finally dismissed it. If she left the table unguarded someone else would get it before they got back and they'd have to search again for a place to prop.
It's alright to get more if you want it. It looks like pretty much everyone has at least gone down the line once.
Just leave the plate and get another one.
Do you want more? Ronan asked.
She shook her head. "I'm still working on this."
They left her. She watched them make their way through the crowd toward the buffet, but couldn't see that anyone paid them much attention and she relaxed fractionally and focused on trying to eat without choking.
She noticed a man across the room staring at her as she scanned the crowd. He didn't look the least bit familiar to her, however, and she quickly moved her gaze onward, wondering if he was actually looking at her or it had just seemed that way and he was only scanning the crowd as she was.
She discovered when she glanced in his direction again, though, that he was still staring at her and uneasiness flickered through her. She looked away again and saw Sissy heading in her direction. She hesitated, but she was still pissed off at Sissy for her defection and looked away again.
That time Sissy ignored the snub. "I didn't think you would come with them," she said by way of greeting.
"I told you I planned to. Everyone was expected to come. It might have been more noticeable if they hadn't."
Sissy looked skeptical. "I don't know about that."
Kate set her plate down. She didn't see any point in debating the wisdom of it, not when they were already there and doing fine, particularly when they were nearing their destination and the moment of truth anyway. "There was a man across the room staring at me," she said, changing the subject abruptly.
"Where?" Sissy asked, instantly distracted from her obvious intention of giving Kate indigestion.
"Just glance casually across the room and see if he'd still looking this way."
"Sort of seedy looking character with frizzy, carrot colored hair-built like a bruiser?"
"That's the one," Kate said uneasily. "Is he still staring?"
"No. He's coming this way."
"Shit!" Kate muttered in consternation, hoping against hope that the man wasn't actually approaching them but afraid to look. "What about the guys? Are they on their way back?"
"Yep. We may see fireworks."
Kate sent her friend an irritated look. "Despite your opinion of them, they aren't inclined toward violence."
"So you say. I think we might be about to find out."
The red headed stranger reached them first. His smile was almost as unpleasant as the rest of him-and he was unlovely to behold. His complexion was pitted with scars and his face bore the marks of an excessive life regardless of the fact that his build seemed robust-to say the least. That was rather reminiscent of a gorilla-long, muscular arms; short stocky legs; and broad, muscular shoulders and chest. His 'table' muscle was broadest of all, rather barrel shaped. Her skin crawled as he looked her over with dark, almost black, glittering eyes that seemed almost reptilian. He nodded pleasantly enough. "I couldn't help but notice you lookin' my way and thought I'd come over and introduce myself."
Kate just managed to keep her jaw from dropping in indignation. She certainly hadn't been staring at him! What a conceited ass! It was almost more provoking that she didn't see anything about him to warrant his excessive self-confidence.
"Name's Willy Turner, but my friends call me Lucky."
Kate wrestled with her manners and finally managed a thin smile. "Dr. Drexel and this is my friend, Dr.
Carter."
The man chuckled, ignoring the subtle snub. "Smart, huh? I like smart women."
Kate didn't know whether to be relieved or not when Ronan and the others arrived. "And these are … uh
… friends of mine." Horror washed over her when she discovered she couldn't recall the names they were traveling under.
Ronan gave the stranger a stony look. "We met already."
Turner grinned at him. "Hey! Your English is a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you." He flicked a look at Kate. "We shared a cell when we were kidnapped by big brother and brought on board. Ain't that right?"
"Excuse me," Sissy said shakily. "I see a friend across the room that I wanted to talk to."
Kate sent her a disbelieving look, but Sissy merely grimaced at her and took off.
'Lucky' turned and watched Sissy's ass for a few moments as she beat a retreat and then returned his attention to Kate and the others. It was both a relief that Ronan, Dax, and Jarek had ranged themselves around her and disturbing. Their stance was protective and guarded which made her feel better in a way and yet it also indicated that her own instincts hadn't been off. They clearly saw the man as a threat just as she did.
It didn't take much imagination at all to conclude that this was at least one of the men Dax had warned her about.
"So … just how good a friends are the four of you?" Lucky asked, grinning at her. "'Cause I was told you was one of the singles. This place we're goin' sure don't sound like a good place for a woman alone and I'm considerin' findin' myself a woman. A woman could do worse than have me as a partner."
But not much worse, Kate thought, deciding in that instant that, regardless of the possible consequences, she was claiming the Sirians as living partners. "Actually," she said with a nervous chuckle, "we're really good friends. We've been discussing the possibility of contracting as life partners."
Anger glittered in Lucky's eyes. "Aww, come on! A smart lady like you with yokels like these?" He leaned closer and she smelled some kind of potent alcohol on his breath as he added conspiratorially. "In case you ain't noticed, they ain't too smart. You're gonna need brains and brawn where we're goin'."
She didn't know if the alcohol had contributed to his brazen behavior or not. He struck her as the kind of man that rarely allowed any situation to dampen his aggressiveness in getting whatever he wanted and currently that seemed to be her. She rather thought his admission that jail wasn't anything he was unfamiliar with was a good indicator of that assessment.
"He call me stupid?" Jarek demanded in a low growl.
"Call all dat," Dax responded tightly.
Kate glanced from Jarek to Dax and finally looked at Ronan as he bared his teeth in a menacing grin.
"You go now."