She picked up her purse in her bedroom, dug around for her cell phone, and called her mother.
"Momma, I've got bad news," she said when she heard her mother's voice.
"Is Annie all right?"
"She's fine."
"And you?"
"I'm fine."
"Okay then, I can take anything else. Give it to me," Deborah said.
She repeated the story a second time and started to cry halfway through it. "I've got to go to school and I can't even think," she said.
"Do you want me to drive over there and bring you and Annie home?" Deborah asked. "You've got enough money to live on without working next semester, then in the fall you can find another job."
"No, I don't think so. I just needed to hear your voice."
"Is this wise? You working there?" Deborah asked.
"It's for the kids. Griffin and I are friends. At least I think we are. I could care less about the social aspects of it. My reputation is in worse shambles than it was in Jefferson, so I really don't care."
"It would be easy to transfer any feelings you had toward his brother to him, since they look alike," Deborah said.
"It would be the most difficult thing in the world. Every time I look at him, I think of that night and the mistake I made. His brother and I were an accident. Who knows, if we'd both been sober and responsible, we probably wouldn't have liked each other, either."
"You going to rebuild?" Deborah asked.
"Maybe. I may buy a trailer. That would be faster. Got to go. I see Marita out in the yard. I'm sure I'm needed."
"I'm sure you are," her mother said.
Lizzy couldn't begin to fathom life without Nana Rita there every day and she barely understood the concept of her leaving. She hung on to Marita for a very long time and then backed away.
"Nana Rita, you will come back and see me and call me and make cookies for me and take me to my Christmas play at church?"
"I'll do what I can. You listen to Julie and be a good girl. You have Annie and Chuck, so you won't be lonely. I'm sure Julie will let you help with cookies for the Christmas party," Marita said hoarsely.
Julie had trouble keeping tears at bay watching the young and old trying to make sense of sudden parting. Annie stood to one side in her pajamas and held Lizzy's hand. Chuck held the other hand and watched the whole business with wide eyes. Of all of them, he would be the one who understand most the sorrow of parting. When Marita and Clarissa walked away, the children unclasped their hands and waved, then hurried up to their room to get ready for school. Tomorrow or the next day or maybe even next week, Lizzy might wake up crying for Nana Rita. Thank goodness it was in the future. Julie didn't think she could stand any more terrible things that day.
She hustled that morning to get them ready and out the door at the right time. She was standing on the porch with all three of them when she realized she didn't have a vehicle to take them to school in. Her truck, along with her home, had burned.
"Hey," Griffin said as he rounded the end of the house holding out a set of keys. "The red truck is yours until you can figure out what you want to do. It's the ranch truck and it's got plenty of room to be hauling kids and whatever else you need."
She took the keys from him and said, "Thank you." But it was almost the straw that broke the camel's back. She fought back tears the whole way to school.
The teachers dropped in and out all day, subdued in their condolences for her loss, and asking if there was anything they could provide or do for her. She'd made friends that she didn't even know about and they'd come to her side during a difficult time. That day she saw a light at the end of the tunnel. She belonged in Saint Jo, Texas.
That evening over the supper table, talk went to Carl and his chances of survival and what they'd do without him on the Lucky Clover. Griffin told Julie and the kids that he had promoted Paul to foreman and his wife, Elsie, would be cooking and housecleaning for them. Starting tomorrow morning she'd be there six days a week. She'd arrive after they left for school and leave before they came home, but she would be there on Saturdays.
After the supper cleanup was finished and they'd read their sight words through twice, Julie put the girls in the upstairs bathtub and washed their hair. She dressed them in pajamas and called Chuck in for his bath, which he declared vehemently that he could do all by himself.
So Julie let him. Sunday afternoon she'd take Annie somewhere and buy clothing for both of them. Thank goodness for Aunt Flossie's money or she would have had to borrow until the insurance check came. The few pieces she'd purchased in Gainesville and the things she'd brought to Lizzy's for the play day were all that they had. Lizzy had been very generous in saying that Annie could have anything of hers, but Annie needed her own room and her own things.
After the kids were tucked in, she fell back in a deep recliner and felt like crying, but there was no way she'd let Griffin see her fall apart again. She was a tough woman and she'd hang on to that with tenacity because right then, it was all she had.
Griffin took a shower, letting the tepid water beat against his weary muscles. Dinner had been good and Elsie would work out just fine. Lizzy was already fitting into her new world. He'd called the local police force and they were going to talk to the DHS to get the ball rolling for him to keep Chuck. He even offered to adopt him outright if his parents would sign the papers.
He finished bathing and dried his body on a big white towel before he opened a drawer under the vanity and pulled out a pair of boxers and knit pajama bottoms. A well worn T-shirt came from a different drawer and once he was dressed he plodded into the kitchen, barefoot and with water droplets still clinging to his hair, which he'd combed back haphazardly with his fingertips.
Julie looked up and her resolve to be strong melted. She was a master at bluffing, though, and used her expertise at that moment. "We made it through day one." She managed to get out a few words without drooling.
"Yes, we did. Maybe things will even out," he said.
"I hope so." She managed a smile.
His heart melted. She'd been through so much in such a short time but he could not let that alter his resolve not to get involved with her. Granted, he no longer thought she'd come to Saint Jo to claim whatever rights Annie had to the Lucky Clover. However, she had been with his brother. How would he ever know if she saw Graham every time she looked at him?
"Lizzy and Chuck are already adjusting better than I ever hoped," he said to fill in the silence surrounding them.
"So is Annie. I was afraid she'd be a mess after losing the house. She and Chuck and Lizzy told their story a dozen times today."
"What are you doing this evening?" he asked.
"Got a hot date. The John said to meet him at the end of the lane and he'll have me home by daylight. Figured I could make a little extra money on my own time. You mind watching Annie?" she said.
His black brows knit together into one solid line. "What?"
"It's the red-haired white trash. Sometimes it surfaces and…" she teased.
He grinned. "You had me there for a minute. I guess first impressions aren't always the right ones. Thank you for all you did today, Julie. I'm really glad you are here."
"Good night, Griff. I'm going up to bed. I think I could sleep a week and this is only Monday."
"Good night, Julie."
She stopped beside him for a minute and wished she had the nerve to kiss him good night, but she didn't. Not right then. Not when the wound of losing every thing was still raw. It would have to wait until later, if it ever happened.
In that second that she hesitated beside him, he wanted to reach out to her, but Graham's memory flashed through his mind and he couldn't. Maybe someday he'd get past that; he hoped so because Julie was invading every waking moment of every day and most of his nights.
Chapter 11
JULIE SETTLED INTO THE ROUTINE AS IF SHE'D BEEN BORN to live on a ranch. After school she drove the three chil dren home and heated whatever Elsie left on the stove or in the refrigerator for supper. She graded papers or worked on her lesson plans while the kids played. After baths she helped the children get ready for bed, and she or Griffin or sometimes both of them read a story to the kids or let them watch an hour of television. She and Griffin had their daily talk about the kids, worried about whether the DHS would let them keep Chuck and how it would affect the girls if they didn't, and then it was off to bed for Julie. Mornings were breakfast, making sure teeth were brushed, hair was combed, backpacks ready with lunches and books. Then it started all over again.
It wasn't so very different from the days when it had been just her and Annie. The biggest change was that now Annie had someone to play with and depended less on Julie for entertainment. And nowadays, there was the inner angst every evening when Griff walked into the kitchen in his pajama bottoms and T-shirt with water droplets still hanging on his jet black hair and smelling so sexy that all she could think about was hauling him off to bed. It wasn't because he looked like Graham, either. She'd put that issue to rest weeks before. Graham had been a smooth-talking, good-looking soldier. Yes, Griffin looked somewhat like him, only Griffin was much better-looking—softer, not so brittle.
"I've got to go shopping for a trailer," she groaned when she looked in the mirror in her bedroom that Saturday morning. "I get up thinking about when he's coming home for supper. I'm six years older than he is, and he thinks I'm even older, and he's on my mind every waking minute. I need to be in my own place just to put some distance between us."
"Who are you talking to, Momma?" Annie asked from the doorway.
"That old woman in the mirror," Julie said.
Annie peered around her mother's leg and into the floor-length mirror on the back of the closet door. "Where? I don't see an old woman. I see my momma and me."
"You are a sweetheart. What are you doing already up and dressed?"
"Me and Chuck and Lizzy, we waked up early and Elsie said to let you sleep so we did. She made us some oatmeal with brown sugar in it and we get to play outside," Annie said.
"Well, that was very sweet of Elsie. Is it cold?"
"No. Elsie said we had to wear our jackets and I forgetted mine." Annie took off in a run out of Julie's room and into her own.
Julie saw a blur run past her as she started down the stairs and before she reached the bottom, Lizzy coming up in a dead run. "Where are you going so fast?" Julie asked.
"Chuck is going to play Barbie with us out in the yard. Elsie said it's warm enough if we put on our coats and we weren't supposed to wake you up because you looked tired last night when she went home and Chuck needs the Ken doll because he says we're going to play like we're in the jungle and Ken is going to save Barbie from getting eat plumb up by the snakes," Lizzy said, finally coming up for air, sucking in twice before she went on. "We got some leaves and sticks and Chuck is building us a jungle. And oh, yeah, I got to pee-pee." Lizzy crossed her legs and wiggled while she talked.
"Looks like you'd better hurry," Julie smiled.
She checked out the kitchen window to see Annie and Chuck busy making their jungle out in the middle of the yard. It was a nice, sunny day and in the middle of December, they might not have many more. Annie had a Barbie in each hand and carried on a dialogue between them. She shook her head, nodded, smiled, frowned, and at one time shook her finger at one of the misbehaving Barbie dolls. Chuck held a Ken and had a stern look on his face. Evidently Barbie wasn't obeying the commander's orders.
"Now that's a sight I'll have to tell Griffin about later," she murmured.
Lizzy came through the kitchen and stopped dead in the middle of the floor. "Oops, I forgot the Ken doll acause I…" She didn't finish the sentence but ran back up the stairs.
Alzheimer's wasn't always to blame for forgetful ness, Julie mused. She picked up the morning paper and scanned the front page headlines. She was getting milk out the refrigerator when Lizzy shot through the kitchen like a blaze, out into the backyard, and then back into the house.
"Annie? Annie?" Lizzy shouted over the top of the noisy vacuum cleaner Elsie was pushing around in the den. "Chuck, where is Annie?"
"I don't know. I come inside to see what was takin' you so long. I bet she's hidin' from us. Let's go find her," Chuck yelled back.
Julie heard the conversation but she didn't pay attention. "Lizzy? Lizzy?" or "Chuck? Chuck?" was commonplace when one child lost the others.
The back door slammed and a flash of lightning with dark hair flew through the kitchen and back up the steps. "Annie? Are you up here?" Lizzy called.
It was followed by a streak of red hair and the thun dering steps of a little boy hurrying up the stairs and yelling the same name.
Julie poured cereal into a bowl and added milk. Elsie finished vacuuming and put a big cast iron skillet on top of the stove and set about browning hamburger in it. The note card Julie found on the bar listed the items she planned for lunch. Mexican lasagna casseroles, corn on the cob, pinto beans, and sliced cucumbers and tomatoes. She'd already made three pans of homemade brownies. Julie would rather have had Mexican lasagna for breakfast. Maybe if there were leftovers she would have it the next morning.