Getting Over It: Sapphire Falls Book Six (28 page)

Hailey had no idea. That wasn’t new either. Ty never told her when he was coming to Sapphire Falls for a visit. But suddenly that seemed…wrong. Too detached. Too casual and emotionless.

She took another big drink. After she swallowed, she shook her head. “I’m not sure. He’s…” She debated telling everyone Ty’s plans to move back to Colorado. They wouldn’t understand. “He’s taking his house off the market and moving back there,” she said anyway.

Because over the course of Ty being in town and her campaign for mayor, she’d realized that talking things out and letting people close wasn’t so bad.

In fact, it was kind of nice.

Phoebe set her glass down hard and stared at her. “What?”

Hailey nodded. “He decided…we decided…that things were great when he lived in Denver, and that maybe this was all too much and we’d be better off if he moved back.”

And she ignored the pang of doubt that arose every time she thought about the fact he hadn’t decided to move back to Denver until he’d heard her public declaration of all her many flaws.

She’d been his dream girl for fourteen years, and finding out that not only did she have multiple
quirks
but that they weren’t going away had obviously spooked him.

If it hadn’t been for the sex before he left, she’d think maybe this was all over. But the sex had been…different. He’d been his usual domineering self, but there had been a sweetness and something else, almost like reverence as he’d touched her. For some reason, she’d been taken back to the night at the river after his graduation, and she’d remembered that having his lips and hands on her had felt like such a huge
relief
. Probably a strange word for it, but she’d felt as though she’d been waiting for him to touch her, to kiss her, to take care of her for so long. Which was crazy. Had felt crazy even then. He hadn’t even been quite nineteen. She’d been with older, more-experienced guys. He’d been sexy and charming, and yet he’d been so…greedy. That was the best word. It had been exactly as she’d said—as if he’d been given free rein in a candy store that held every treat he’d ever dreamed of.

Last night had been like that. As if he was truly amazed to be with her.

Which made no sense, considering he’d found out how screwed up she was. She didn’t believe her ADHD made her screwed up. It was that she couldn’t admit to it and she couldn’t get past wanting her father’s approval—well, wanting the approval of everyone she admired really—and that she couldn’t stop hearing Angela’s voice in her head telling her she would never be good enough to deserve her busy, important father’s attention.

And, no, she hadn’t wanted Ty because of his medals and fame. But knowing that a man like him, who could have any woman he wanted, had wanted
her
, had made her feel equal parts amazing and determined to continue to be the girl of his dreams.

“You’re not serious, are you?” Phoebe asked. “You really think you’ll be happier if Ty’s in Denver permanently?”

Part of her thought that. It would be easier in a lot of ways. There would be less pressure to be perfect, to be the fantasy he wanted all the time. But part of her thought it really sucked.

“It’s better than having him here and slowly driving him crazy,” she said. “I’d rather have him for a little bit than not at all.”

“This is because of all these flaws you think you have, right?” Lauren asked, leaning in, her expression almost angry.

“Quirks,” Hailey told her. “I prefer the term quirks.”

“Quirks, flaws, deficiencies, imperfections, mistakes, limitations, failures—”

“Okay,” Hailey broke in. “You’re familiar with the thesaurus app on your phone.”

“Another word for all of it is bullshit,” Lauren said.

“Excuse me?”

“Bullshit,” she repeated. “You forget stuff and get distracted and write things down a million times, and the fact that you’re hyperaware of it makes you jumpy and anxious and slightly obsessive compulsive. So what? We’ve all got stuff. None of that makes you a bad person. It makes your stepmom a bitch.”

Hailey huffed out a surprised laugh. “Well, she is that.”

“She is. You don’t like her either. So why do you care what she thinks?”

Hailey sighed. “It’s not that I care what she thinks. I just can’t get her voice out of my head.”

“That totally offends me,” Lauren told her, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms and legs.

“Why?”

“Because
I
tell you things like you’re sweet and kind and funny. And you make great marinara and have excellent taste in television. And yet it’s
her
voice you hear.”

“Maybe you should say it all really low and sexy,” Phoebe said with a grin.

Lauren winked at the redhead. “If you want me to talk sexy to you, Red, all you have to do is ask. But we’re talking about what
Hailey
wants to hear. And she’s super straight.”

Phoebe’s cheeks turned a dark red to match her hair. “I’m super straight.”

Lauren patted her hand. “Okay, honey.”

Lauren’s bisexuality and her penchant for redheads had been a long-standing joke, and Hailey couldn’t help but laugh. Even though Phoebe was straight and Lauren was happily married to a man who did
not
share, Lauren could always make Phoebe blush.

“The truth is,” Hailey said. “I wanted Angela to like me for so long. I wanted to be like her.”

Phoebe wrinkled her nose. “I remember her. She was so cold and so standoffish.”

Hailey lifted an eyebrow and waited for the three beats it took for Phoebe’s eyes to widen.

“You were cool and kept everyone at arm’s length because of
her
?” she asked. “Because you wanted to be like her?”

Hailey shrugged. “Well, I learned how to do it from her. I know that she kept me at arm’s length, and I know that it made me feel intimidated and fascinated at the same time.” She looked around the table at the women who were all frowning. “Hey, I was a little kid. One who thought Angela was her mother until I was old enough to understand stepmothers. And believe me, Angela explained it early on.”

Lauren shook her head. “And she was your only mother figure. I get it.”

“She was beautiful, put together from head to toe, a gourmet cook. She could talk politics and strategy with my dad.” Hailey thought back to the early days of trying on Angela’s makeup and shoes when Angela wasn’t around, begging to help in the kitchen, sitting in the same room with the two of them as they talked and laughed but never being included in the conversations. “My dad had cheated on her. Looking back, I think she overcompensated after that so it wouldn’t happen again. And my dad was impressed by her. Of course I wanted to be like her. And then, as I got older and was trying to cover up my quirks and compensate for my ADHD, I modeled my behavior after how she treated me—let them close enough they notice the good things but not close enough that they really
know
you.”

Several seconds passed without anyone saying anything.

Finally, Lauren said, “You need to get over that woman.”

Hailey nodded. “Working on it.”

“Maybe I could help.” This came from Hope. She was standing behind Hailey, drink in hand and a sincere smile on her face.

Hailey glanced toward the guys’ table and noticed TJ had pulled up a chair. It was nice Hope was over here. Hailey knew their group could be intimidating because they’d all known each other forever. But Hope didn’t seem to get hung up on things like being the new girl.

And the woman had introduced Hailey to the world of essential oils. Hailey’s feet and back had never felt better than after Hope had worked on them. Hailey was a fan.

She pivoted on her chair. “What do you have?”

“Positive affirmations. Meditation. My mom worked with people on doing affirmations while they were falling asleep. Things like that.”

Phoebe pulled an empty chair up to their table and Hope took a seat.

“You’re talking about falling asleep to those tapes that tell you over and over ‘I’m a good person’, ‘I’m smart and successful’. That kind of thing?” Hailey asked.

Hope nodded. “Or making your own recording. Sometimes your own voice is even more powerful.”

“There’s been some research done that indicates self-affirmations can actually reinforce negative thoughts and feelings.”

Everyone looked over at Mason, who was still looking down at his tablet.

“Why do they feel the affirmations reinforce negative thoughts?” Hope asked him, apparently unfazed by the fact that the man could look completely absorbed in what he was doing and still catch every detail of a conversation.

“Positive statements to people with low self-esteem and habitual negative thoughts will sometimes focus them on the negative instead.”

“If you tell someone they are lovable, they would instead focus on the fact that they’re
not
lovable?” Hope asked.

“Yes. Their subconscious will reject the positives as an untruth.”

Hope looked intrigued. “That’s fascinating. Have you done a lot of reading on the topic?”

Mason looked up. “I’ve done a lot of reading on a lot of topics.”

“I’d love to hear more about this. My mother used affirmations all the time, but I don’t know as much about it as I’d like.”

Mason nodded. “You can stop by the greenhouse tomorrow. I can find some of the articles and we can discuss after you’ve read them.”

“That would be great.”

Hailey watched the exchange with a baffled amusement. Mason Riley and Hope Daniels couldn’t be more different, and yet here they were, finding something to talk about.

Adrianne laughed. “I’ll warn you, all conversations with Mason eventually end up on the topic of plants. Especially if he gets you out to his greenhouse.”

“I love plants,” Hope said enthusiastically. “In fact, I was thinking about talking with you about some of the herbs I’d like to start growing. But I didn’t know if that was something you’d be willing to give me some help with. I know you’re working on much more important things.”

Mason put his tablet on the table and fully focused on Hope.

The women all exchanged looks. That was impressive.

“I’d be happy to discuss anything you need.”

Adrianne shook her head. “This is awesome. Between Tucker and Delaney’s boys and now Hope,
I
won’t have to hear about growing cycles and soil hydrogen levels for a long time.”

Mason leaned and draped his arm around his wife’s chair, pulled her close and whispered something in her ear. Adrianne blushed and giggled.

Hailey marveled at that. Mason Riley, boy genius, geeky outcast, had managed to make soil hydrogen levels sexy and snare the heart of one of the best women Hailey had ever known.

She felt her eyes get misty and she picked up her margarita glass for a huge chug.

She missed Ty.

“Hailey,” Adrianne said, her expression still happy but more composed again. “I think I’ve realized something that will help you get over your hang-ups about your quirks.”

Hailey was all ears. “Do tell.”

“
Everyone
has quirks. Your stepmother used yours to belittle you. But that’s like telling someone they’re making a mistake every time they sneeze. You can’t help them and we all have them.
And
when someone loves you, they don’t just love you
in spite
of the quirks, often they’ll love you more
because
of them.” Adrianne smiled at Mason. “For instance, my husband loves to play in the dirt and gets excited about soil hydrogen levels and routinely uses words like rhizome and pistil.”

“You know it turns me on when you start talking about pistils,” Mason said with a grin.

God, they were cute. Hailey hated them a little in that moment.

Adrianne was grinning as well. “But I love him for all his dorkiness and plant talk. And I’m sure there are things about me that he would rather he
didn’t
have to live with. But he loves me anyway.”

Hailey propped her elbow on the table and leaned her chin on her hand. It was abundantly clear that Mason was deeply, madly in love with his wife and would be forever. Hailey wanted that with Ty. Was it possible that he could not only tolerate living with her quirks but that he could love them? “Okay, like what?”

Adrianne looked at her husband. “What are some things you’d change about living with me if you could?”

Mason seemed to be thinking hard.

Several seconds ticked by.

Finally, Adrianne said, “Oh come on, there has to be
one
thing.”

“Of course,” Mason said easily, brow still furrowed. “I’m trying to decide if I should list the things in descending order of most annoying to least or from least to most.”

Adrianne’s mouth dropped open and the rest of the table burst into laughter.

Adrianne rolled her eyes at Hailey. “Well, you get the idea.”

“Oh, no, I want to hear this list,” Phoebe said. “In order from least to most if you please.”

“That’s not—”

“She buys smelly soap.”

Adrianne frowned. “What?”

“The hand soaps that you put in the guest bathroom on the first floor. You buy strange scents.”