Getting Some Of Her Own (28 page)

Lucas thought for a minute about the implications of that question. “I don't know. She's never said.”

“Is there someone who you love? You've never even hinted.”

It was a question that a father would ask his son, and he didn't find it intrusive. “There's someone I care about, quite deeply, in fact, but she insists that there can't be anything serious between us, and I fail to understand why. There's already been some serious stuff between us.”

“I see. Maybe she has a secret, something she can't share with you,” Calvin said. “Does she love you?”

“Yes. She does. She told me at one of those times when only the truth comes out. Does she have secrets? Probably; now that you mention it. I wouldn't be surprised.”

“If she loves you, you can overcome any reservation she may have, that is, provided you want to. Do you like her as a person? What does she do?”

“She's an interior decorator and yes, I like her, but I can't figure out what makes her tick. I will, though.”

“Be careful, Son. If you push her too hard, you may push her away from you. An interior decorator, huh. That works well with an architect. “

“I know. It's a relationship with great potential, although I've only recently realized that.” He stood to leave. “Thanks. Talking about it has been helpful. I've never discussed my personal affairs with anyone, not even Willis, who's my brother in every sense but genetic. I'll see Mama this evening.”

For the first time since he'd met his father, he didn't feel awkward leaving him, but put an arm around Calvin's shoulder, hugged him and left. As soon as he got into his car, he telephoned his mother.

“Hi, Mama. What are you cooking for supper?” He listened while she made it as interesting as she could. “Smoked pork shoulder, turnip greens cooked with some good old ham hocks, baked sweet potatoes, jalapeño corn bread and bring my own dessert?” He couldn't help laughing. She was in a good mood, a playful mood, and he could hardly wait to tell her what she wanted so badly to know. “I'll see you at about six.”

“Did you visit Calvin today?”

“Why, yes. I just left him. See you later.” He hung up. How on earth had she handled that unhappiness for over thirty-five years? He wondered what she'd do now. He drove slowly, far more slowly than usual, whistling a favorite tune as an unfamiliar kind of joy suffused him. He hoped Willis was at the building site, because he couldn't wait to tell his friend what he'd just learned about his parents. He didn't know when he'd been so happy.

 

 

Susan stood atop a four-foot ladder, measuring the space between the window and the adjoining wall for the drapery that she planned to hang there. “I should have put this ladder closer to the window,” she said to herself when she discovered that she could barely reach the ceiling.

“Let me do that for you.” She whirled around, startled by Lucas's voice, lost her footing and tumbled backward. He caught her, looked into her startled face, grinned and said, “It's a good thing I'm here to catch you. If I hadn't been, you'd have hurt yourself.”

How easy it would be to put her arms around his neck and cuddle up to him while he held her as one holds a baby. The feel of his big hands cradling her so gently almost lulled her into a complacency that she could ill afford. Oh, how she longed to give in to her feelings and enjoy that moment in his arms! Reminding herself of the price they might both have to pay, she said, “If you hadn't walked in here, I wouldn't have lost my balance. Would you please put me down?”

She wished he'd stop grinning, but he didn't. In fact, his smile broadened. “What way is that to talk to the man you love?”

“What? What on earth . . .” Her voice tapered off as she remembered the moment when she had exploded in orgasm as he lay buried deep within her. That moment when the words, “I love you,” tore themselves out of her.

“I'm glad you haven't forgotten, Susan, because I will never forget it. And don't deny it. I'm in a good mood, and I don't want anybody tampering with it.”

“What brought on this good mood?”

“I just left my father. How many times have you hugged your father?”

“I don't know. Maybe hundreds.”

“I hugged mine for the first time, and I meant that hug. Later, I heard him tell his wife that he'd give me the heart out of his body if I needed it. He really loved my mother. I am not going to let avarice and hunger for power ruin my life. He realized too late what he'd done. Imagine, loving someone for so many years and not being able even to see that person.” He looked past her. “You know, I'm beginning to suspect that I'm capable of feelings equally deep and lasting.”

As if he had unwittingly exposed an intimate part of himself, he shook his head slowly. “Is Willis around?”

“He was. In fact, I'm here because he suggested that I get the exact measurements on this floor.”

“Good idea, because certain space can lessen a bit the higher up you go.”

“By the way, Lucas, Enid invited me to a reception she's giving to show her redecorated house to her friends. I'm obligated to go, so please don't think I'm being disloyal.”

“Of course not. If she invited me, I'd go, but there's not a chance.” His lips brushed hers, and the tip of his tongue probed their seam, startling her, and they opened as if of their own volition. Within seconds, he was possessing her. One of his hands gripped her buttocks and the other plunged into her shirt. His fingers teased and pinched her nipple, and with his other hand, he pressed her body to his own, sending rivulets of heat throughout her nervous system. When, wanting and needing more of him, she twisted against him, he put both arms around her and kissed her eyes, her cheeks and the tip of her nose.

“I'm trying to work and you—” she sputtered before he interrupted her.

“I need some loving. If I had you someplace private, I'd go at you till you gave me the loving of a lifetime. That's how I feel right now.”

“You're playing with fire, and you're inducing me to do the same. And I've told you—”

“I know what you've told me. But then you kiss me and hold me the way you did a minute ago. You can't convince me, because you either don't believe or you don't want to believe there can't be anything between us. Your words are incompatible with your actions, and when I finally know why—and I will—you and I won't have a problem.”

“We don't have a problem now,” she said barely loud enough for him to hear it, because she didn't believe her words.

 

 

Lucas found Willis in the second building conferring with his head plasterers. “I don't want stucco. That's as outdated as art deco. This is a modern building, and it's going to have modern finishes. If you're enamored with stucco, it can go in the basement recreation room. And make it cream colored.” He looked up at Lucas. “How's it going, man?”

Lucas leaned against a wall and regarded Willis with brotherly affection. It wasn't necessary to call a conference in order to say, “I don't want that.” No. Willis had the meeting in order to explain every crossed T and every dotted i. He shrugged. That made the man one of the best builders in the region.

“I'm going out to see Mom this evening. If you're interested in smoked pork shoulder, turnip greens—”

“Speak no further. What time did you say we'd be there?”

“I said
I'd
be there at six. You may call her and tell her you're coming, too. I'll leave my car at home. Pick me up there at five-thirty.”

“Right. See you then.”

Lucas and Willis greeted Noreen as the precious person she was to both of them. “I smelled food the minute I got out of the car,” Willis said when they walked into Noreen's house.

Lucas picked his mother up and twirled her around. “So did I.”

She gazed knowingly at her son. “You're in a wonderful mood. I'd like to know what's got you so high.”

“Me, too,” Willis said. “He definitely hasn't been drinking.”

“I never drink enough to get high. If you want to know my business, feed me first.” He looked at Willis and winked. “This has been
some
day!”

“Did you happen to see Susan?” Willis asked Lucas.

“Who's Susan?” Noreen asked.

“Our interior decorator,” they said in unison.

“Well, did you see her?” Noreen asked.

Lucas couldn't keep the grin off his face. For a woman who wasn't fond of bodies of water, his mother was a genius of a fisherwoman. “Yeah, I saw her. When I walked in there, she was standing on a stool. I was just in time to catch her when she fell backward.”

“Sure,” Willis said. “Susan is no klutz, so that means you frightened her or something like that.” He finished setting the table. “You know what I'm saying?”

Noreen put the food on the table. “You're both trying to talk over my head, but I see right through you. Lucas, please say the grace. I don't want you to forget the words.”

“What did you bring for dessert?” Noreen asked Lucas after he and Willis cleaned the kitchen.

“Yipes, I forgot about it,” Willis said. “We bought cheesecake, but I'm too full to eat it.”

“So am I,” Lucas said. “Maybe later.”

Willis made coffee, and Lucas put a coffee service on a tray and carried it to the living room. “Come in here. I have something to tell you, Mama.”

She sat facing him. “About Susan?”

“About my father.”

“If . . . if it's not pleasant, I don't want to hear it,” she said clutching her stomach.

“It's got to be pleasant, considering how he's been acting,” Willis said.

Lucas lowered his eyelids, picturing in his mind's eye the events as they had unfolded. He began with Marcie's failure to greet him that morning, and told her how he felt when he hugged his father and of Calvin's tears. He omitted nothing that happened in Calvin Jackson's house from that time to the point when Calvin said, “Tell her I love her, and that I'm sorry I wasted so much of her life and mine, years we should've lived together.” He didn't mention their discussion of Susan.

Noreen's sobbing brought him back to the present, and he opened his eyes to see that Willis sat on the arm of her chair with his arms around her. “Don't cry, Mama,” Lucas said. “I wish now that I hadn't interfered, that I'd let Willis take you to the hospital to see him, and I told Dad that. He knows you love him and that you wanted to be with him.”

“Thank you so much for that,” she whispered. “Wh-what about Marcie?”

He told the truth. “I don't know, Mom. There is absolutely nothing between them, and hasn't been for years, over thirty-five of them, I suspect. I'm out of it now. Whatever happens between you two is your business.”

“Did you tell Calvin that?”

“I didn't have to. I told him you loved him, and that was in response to his saying to me that he was so hungry for news of you. When I told him that, he knew that I was moving out of the way.” He looked at her. “You don't know how wonderful it made me feel to know that he always loved me because he loved you so much, that I was conceived in love.”

“You were. Oh, you were.”

“What will you do, Aunt Noreen?”

“I don't know. I long to see him but, well, as Lucas has reminded me many times, he's still married.”

“Yeah,” Willis said, “but in name only.”

“I forgot to . . . no, I
neglected
to tell you, Mama, that Nana told me she wants to meet you. Next time Willis and I go down there, I'd like you to go with us.”

“Oh, I'd love that. I want to meet her, too.”

“I can't stay too late, Mama, I have a stop to make.”

“I'm so glad you finally have a real relationship with Calvin. He needed you in his life, and I—”

“That's over, Mama. Come on, Willis. Man, I've got some fish to fry.”

“Give my love to Susan,” Noreen said.

Lucas hugged her. “You must be hallucinating. I'll call you.”

Susan told Lucas good night and hung up. Learning details of his parents' great but tragic love had brought about a change in him, barely evident, but a difference nonetheless. It seemed to have strengthened his confidence in his ability to nourish a relationship, but she didn't plan to let him drag her into the misery that she foresaw. He longed for a family—he'd hinted as much during their conversation that evening—and she could not give him one. She finished ironing Anne Price's laundry, mended Rudy's jeans, and sat down to watch television.