Ghost Writer (Raven Maxim Book 1) (39 page)

“So not only are you writing a damn biography; it’s a romance novel, too. This is by far a heart-attack inducing conversation. I’m so glad I went to my Pilates class before talking to you today.”

“I can do this, Deloris. I need you to trust me… and like I said, I’ve already started.”

There was a long pause, the kind that grew full with tension and begged to burst with the slightest touch.

“…Read me some of it.” Her tone was serious, almost a dare of sorts. Sloan reached for his computer, shoved the books to the side, and powered the thing up. He smiled at his screensaver photo of him and Emerald sitting in his car at a drive-in movie, huddled up under a thick blanket, then opened the document.

“Some say right and wrong are as black and white as truth and lies. The dye bleeds red on the pages, words written and drowned in tears. But one man’s fiction is another man’s fact. Imagine living inside a world that held you prisoner, a place that lifted you up, exalted you, but put limits on the person you could be. It stifled you with dogmatic, discriminatory rules dripping with the blood of those who craved power over the masses on a daily basis. The same people that lifted you up would knock you down if you dared to be your truest self.

“You’d suffer, lose everything you’d worked for if you dared to deviate from the blueprint of expectation. And worst of all? The results could be crippling, perhaps even deadly. I want you to step back, close your eyes, and envision yourself as the best of the best, a twisted, charismatic, genius in your own right. But you want more, so much more, and that next step is wrapped tightly around love. So much so, you literally fall apart, day by day, until there is nothing of you left… mere skin and bones of a gray memory. You could not obtain the ultimate prize you sought, which is freedom to love without constraints.

“Sometimes, love eludes us; yet, other times, we close doors out of fear of loss, cruelly imposing limitations on ourselves and vastly affecting the ones we adore. We crush their spirit, in an attempt to preserve our own.

“What can a man do, who regrets nothing,

Until it is far too late?”

Daddy looked like
a king.

Michelle still called her father ‘Daddy’, but only in her mind. She looked across the living room at the man who’d raised her, the tall guy with the half grin and maturity of a million wise men. He sat there, leaning back into the blue and cream paisley print loveseat that sat across from the matching couch, a light blue pillow shoved behind his head. His green eyes twinkled, as if he had a big secret to tell; perhaps he did, and she’d be all ears, waiting to hear it. He’d just extinguished his second cigarette since she’d been there and offered her another store bought appetizer, some sort of spinach crescent roll wrap with a horrid aftertaste. She imagined he’d seen his failed marriage to her mother in a similar way towards the end. Cheap, lackluster, and dismal…

She’d always looked up to him, which made the divorce between her parents all the more painful for her to watch. Things had gotten downright nasty between him and Mom. The mudslinging between the two brought to mind the ‘War of the Roses’ movie to the highest degree. She’d already become an adult when the shit hit the fan, but it still hurt her to her damn core.

Of course she didn’t want them in an unhappy marriage, jammed, stuck in a place of reproach, no longer in love. Honestly, she’d known the light had dimmed between them when she was still in her teens, but they struggled and trudged along, trying to make a go of it. Joel had somewhat taken their mother’s side, and she’d done the opposite but tried to remain verbally neutral. Honestly? She had a hard time forgiving Mom for messing around on Dad, despite her refusing to acknowledge that as truth. Worst of all, it was the ultimate betrayal—a work colleague, of all people.

But, she couldn’t completely hate Mom. Dad hadn’t always been easy to live with. Rather than talking things out, or going to marriage counseling as she’d suggested prior to Mom’s affair, he’d simply scoffed and showered her mother with gifts… as if to silence her. Truthfully? Both were right, and both were wrong… but when she looked into her father’s eyes, she could almost feel the hurt he’d endured. He’d genuinely loved his wife; everyone could see it, except the woman herself…

“Dad!” Joel called out as he returned to the living room, buckling his belt. “You did a great job on remodeling that bathroom. It looks great, compared to the first time I was here.” He hunkered down next to her, then reached for an appetizer, this one a tiny bagel with lox and cream cheese.

“Thank you. I tried to get a replica of the original sink pedestal. It’s not a dead ringer, but it comes pretty close.” Joel nodded in understanding as he stuffed his jaws now with a celery stick, and began chewing noisily. “I’m glad you both came for a visit. It really means a lot to me.”

“Of course, Dad.” Michelle smiled, picking her delicate vintage tea cup from the table and bringing it to her lips for a sip. The warmth of the brew flooded her mouth and flavors of orange and lemon titillated her taste buds. “I would’ve been here sooner if it weren’t for the new fashion launch project and taking care of Jacob.”

“I know, I understand.” He smiled proudly at her. “You’re in one of the best fashion design schools in the world, and you’re doing it with a baby and a job to boot. I’m so proud of you.” He winked at her and smiled.

“Thanks, Dad.” She smiled back thoughtfully, though she knew full well that without his help, she’d be drowning. He practically paid all of her bills, especially since Jacob’s father was no longer in the picture.

“I’m just lucky you’re still so close by. Look.” He leaned forward and clasped his hands together. “Joel may have filled you in a bit regarding our heart to heart, I guess you could call it. I’ve had a lot of time to think about some things, to uh…” Dad’s face reddened and his words caught in his throat. “To…really evaluate some stuff I hadn’t before, at least not in the way I should’ve.”

Joel grabbed a bottle of water chugged it with noisy relish. “Dad, I didn’t tell Michelle about our conversation,” he said after finishing with a contented sigh.

Puzzled, she wondered what secrets they were hiding, and suddenly felt like she’d been left out in the cold.

“Michelle, I had previously apologized to your brother for being so stubborn with him at times and well, other things, too.” His eyes met theirs in turn. “I want to extend the same apology to you. I tried so hard to not be like my own father…” He looked down into his lap, as if ashamed. “But some of the characteristics showed up anyway. I’m sorry for how angry I’d become when I and your mother parted ways. It wasn’t fair to put you and your brother in the middle of it.”

“You can’t apologize for how you felt, Dad. Feelings are yours to keep. They’re personal.”

“They
are
personal, and feelings that we have, or in this case, the ones
I
had weren’t the issue.” He rested his hand on his chest. “It was my behavior, how I went about it. Now, moving forward, I encourage you both to confide in me, and I’ll be more open, too. I kept things bottled up. That’s not an excuse… There really is no excuse for you being roped in the middle of your parents’ bullshit, but I… I’m just tryin’ to explain, you know, what happened.”

“I get it. I mean…” she said, shrugging, “I
don’t
actually get it, because I’d never been with someone as long as you and mom were together. And then to have it end up that way, especially like… that…” With a grimace, she set her teacup back on the table. “All I’m saying, Dad, just like I told you right before you moved to Maxim, is that I think you’re the strongest man I know and I can’t fault you. All I wanted for you both was to move on and be happy. You and Mom pretty much kept us out of your private affairs. You never really even argued around us. I’m thankful for that… so whatever it was you two were going through, we didn’t know the details until the very end.”

“But we could always feel the tension.” Joel ran his hands nervously over his knees, observing his actions with thoughtful intensity.

Michelle wondered what was going on inside the man’s head. She knew there were several different sides to her father. He was loving, hilarious—mostly sarcastic humor, and his wit was beyond measure. He had a mysterious side, too, and tended to push people away if they got too close.

“You’re a wonderful daughter.” Her cheeks warmed with pride as he looked at her with adoration, his words sounding sincere and true. “You’ve grown into such a beautiful young lady. I do thank your mother for giving me two great kids. I know you’re adults, but you’re
my
kids… and I love ya.”

“We love you too, Dad.” She stopped there, but wished to say so much more. She wouldn’t do it, though, for she now looked at a man whose eyes had grown glossy. She rarely saw her father expressing emotion like this—actually never had. She wanted to focus on this moment when he was allowing himself some vulnerability; but little did he know, he seemed even larger and more amazing in her eyes now.

He’d jump on Joel from time to time about such displays, but always gave her room to feel deeply. Dad had to be a bit chauvinistic, but it seemed his attitude veered always in the woman’s favor. She smiled at that realization, and felt it easy in her heart to forgive him.

“It feels different in here, Dad. I guess that exorcism worked, huh?” Joel sat back comfortably, a smug expression on his face.

“It wasn’t an exorcism.”

“What? Exorcism?!” Michelle looked at the two guys and suddenly wanted to strangle them both. “What in the heck have you two been doing? Why do I feel so confused right now? This entire visit has been nothing but secrets coming to light and Joel, you know better!” She pointed an accusatory finger in her brother’s direction. They were a year and a half a part, close as could be. “We tell each other
every
thing!”

“I had to keep this to myself. I wanted to convince Dad to move from here and didn’t want you interfering, siding with him the way you always do.” He rolled his eyes with dramatic flair.

“Oh really? You always side with Mom, no matter what she does or says and I—”

“Okay, okay, okay,” their father broke in, his hand up like a stop sign. “Look, Michelle, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but if I myself wasn’t even sure what was going on, I didn’t see a need to broadcast it to the entire world.”

“I’m not the entire world. I’m your daughter… This place is haunted?” She looked about the room, a sensation of being watched suddenly hitting her. Perhaps it was paranoia, the notion they’d just brought up drifting about in her head, contaminating her mind.

“How did you not know this though, Michelle? It’s been online.”

“I don’t go looking at gossip rags about Dad, Joel,” she snapped. “Matter of fact, I avoid them and my friends know not to come to me asking anything. I’ve made that perfectly clear. For all others, I don’t tell them who my father is, or the nosey questions start. So, what’s going on?”

“Joel doesn’t even know this part; I am telling you together but… I’m writing a book about this house.”

“I don’t understand.” She shook her head, mystified.

“The house is in fact haunted, Michelle. Joel knew it immediately, and I suppose I did, too. I just refused to give it any validation. Long story short, a guy by the name of Peter Jones owned it and he died in a rather bizarre and mysterious way. He was a writer, just like me.”

“Dad had a paranormal group come in, Michelle. I asked him to do that from the beginning, once he made it clear he wasn’t going to move.”

“What did they find out?”

“That Peter’s ghost still is here and he is unsettled,” Dad explained. “He has some unresolved issues. The property would go up for sale time and again because of the paranormal activity. When I moved here, there was activity as well, but it was not the kind that had been demonstrated towards the people who resided here before me. Rather than be, shall I say, provocative or even violent with me, as he had been with others, he appeared more demonstrative, as if we had a kinship. I was quite disturbed by the activity, don’t get me wrong. Matter of fact, it made life quite difficult, but I never felt in danger, if that makes any sense.”

Michelle nodded in understanding.

“A medium who—from what I’ve been told—is world renowned came to the house and investigated the situation over the course of a couple of days. He let me know that Peter had seen similarities between himself and me, and that he took a liking to a friend of mine, which caused a whole new dynamic.”

“A friend of yours?” Her upper lip twitched, daring to form a grin.

“Yeah… that’s the other reason why I wanted you two to come up. I’ve been seeing someone.”

“A woman?” Joel questioned, his face twisted in faux surprise, he seemed to be pretending the man hadn’t already spilled the beans to him. She always knew when her brother was lying.

“No, a damn yak. Of course uh woman!” Dad barked.

Michelle snickered.

“Well, how tha hell should I know?!” Joel teased. “You’re makin’ all these changes in your life. I don’t know what to expect from you anymore.”