Remembering her babysitter who was on the clock, she sucked it up, took a deep breath, and dried her eyes before she opened the door.
“Shannon? Is that you?” Betsy Donahue called as she stepped into her apartment. Betsy was her sixty-something-year-old widow and neighbor. To their mutual benefit, she had been in need of a job, and living on the first floor of Shannon’s building had made it so convenient. It was a perfect situation. Unfortunately, Shannon’s newly unemployed status would roll downhill to Betsy.
“Yeah, Bets, it’s me.” She could hear the exhaustion in her own voice as she walked to the sofa and collapsed, kicking off her heels and sighing in relief.
“You’re home early, dear.” Betsy came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a dishtowel. Coming to sit beside her, she squeezed her hand and asked, “Is everything okay?”
“Not really… I got fired tonight.”
“Oh my!”
“Yeah! Oh my, is right!” Rolling to her side, she rested her head on her friend’s shoulder. “What am I gonna do, Bets?”
Betsy’s arm gathered her close and she hugged her tight. Betsy was like a mother to her, and she loved her son like a grandmother would, if he’d had one.
“What happened? You’ve been there for three years. How dare they?” Indignant on her behalf, Betsy huffed and fumed. “It was that S.O.B. Anton, wasn’t it? Stupid man couldn’t find his ass with both hands. What idiot gave him a management job anyway?”
Hearing Betsy curse made Shannon giggle. The sweet, grandmotherly type looked the part, but her late husband was a marine, and Betsy could turn a colorful phrase when she got riled.
“Whatcha gonna do, honey?”
“I guess I’ll be job hunting, starting tomorrow.”
“I’ve a good mind to go over to that place and kick that man’s ass up around his ears.”
“That’s not necessary. Just come over and watch Eli for me so I can look for a new job.”
“Anytime, doll.”
After she left, Shannon locked up and went to check on Eli. Carefully opening his door, she quietly walked in and looked down at her precious son. He was her life; she was just sorry she couldn’t give him a better one. Brushing aside his hair to expose his forehead, she leaned over and kissed him. His hair was a soft brown, and she knew if he opened his eyes she would see Gideon’s gorgeous green ones staring back at her. Surely it was some cruel twist of fate to have born a son who looked like so much like the father that didn’t want him. Eli was a constant reminder of the man she had once loved so dearly but wanted nothing to do with either of them.
Check that.
All of a sudden, for some twisted reason, Gideon wanted something to do with Shannon now. She just didn’t understand why. What was this cruel game he was playing?
Well,
she thought derisively,
it appears the situation resolved itself the hard way.
He didn’t know where she lived, so she was well rid of him.
Sighing heavily, she kissed Eli one more time. “Sweet dreams, baby.”
* * *
Arriving at a dilapidated apartment building, Gideon checked the address he’d jotted down. Not in the best neighborhood, he hoped his Merc would be in one piece by the time he got back. He hadn’t expected to be coming here tonight, but when he’d returned to the Bungalow with dry pants, he’d learned that Shannon had been let go. Guilt warred with anger when he heard that—mostly guilt because he’d goaded her into her reaction.
Now he stood in front of the apartment directory and located her name—Apt 310. Knowing she wouldn’t buzz him in, he tried the knob. Not surprised, he found it open.
So much for security,
he thought as he looked around the shithole she called home. Long past due for a coat of paint, he noticed the walls were also filled with gouges and holes. Frowning at one the size of a bullet hole, he moved past the elevator with the out of order sign and on to the stairs. Growing angrier with every step, he stomped up the three flights of stairs until he arrived at her door. His body tense, hands clenched into fists, back rigidly held, he took a few deep breaths before banging on the door.
A moment later, the door opened and he pushed his way inside, laying into her with his unrestrained anger upon first sight. “What the fuck, Shannon? I saw bullet holes in the wall downstairs. I don’t get it, Shannon. You left me for this? To work a crap job and live in this dump? I could have given you so much more…”
Momentarily shocked by his presence, he watched her pull it together quickly as she started to demand some answers of her own. “How did you know where I live? Are you following me? Has the great Gideon Eli sunk so low to become a stalker?”
“Your boss gave me the address.”
“You mean my ex-boss? He fired me after you left.”
His anger cooled a notch as the guilt resurfaced. She had told him several times that she needed her job and it was evident by her surroundings that she did. “I know you were fired, and I’m really sorry for that. I admit I was trying to provoke you to get your attention. I didn’t know how else to get through to you, Shannon. We need to talk and you keep avoiding me. I never expected you to dump ice water in my lap.”
“You deserved it after that crude remark and I won’t say I’m sorry.” Sighing, she rubbed her tired eyes. “Just go, Gideon. I don’t want you here, and I sure don’t want to talk about our history—our painful history.”
“I’ll leave, but first I want you to tell me why. That note you left was bullshit.”
“Seriously? We’re going to do this now, after all this time? Why did it take you ten years to give a shit?”
Stunned by her vehement response and her language, he assessed her thoroughly. She had changed a lot. Yes, she was still beautiful, but she seemed harder, more cynical. “I’m not going anywhere until I find out why.”
“Fine. You want to rehash everything? That’s just dandy. It’s because I couldn’t bear the drugs, the parties, and all your bimbos. I was too far down on the priority list. I felt like I had to take a number and wait in line for your attention.”
“That’s bullshit. I’ll admit the band was using drugs and partied way too much back then, but aside from some booze and pot, I wasn’t like that. In fact, you partied right alongside me. So that B.S. won’t fly with me, Shannon. And you know I never cheated on you.”
“Do I? Well… I’ll just have to add
big fat liar
to the list of adjectives I use to describe you. I’d have respected you a little more if you were honest enough to tell me when it was over.” She crossed her arms and spoke through lips curled in derision. “I saw you, Gideon, with not only one but two blonde bimbos crawling all over you. It made me sick. I had an overwhelming need to go straight to my doctor and be tested for hepatitis and STD’s—after a long hot shower, of course. So I left.” Walking to her door, she opened it wide. “Now, if you don’t mind, that’s what I’d like you to do—leave.”
Frowning, he stood there, frozen in confusion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. After that last show, I waited for hours, Shannon. You never showed up. You never answered my calls or returned any of my messages. I went looking for you and you had vanished. Then, five days later, I got that bullshit letter.” He paused, his memory a little foggy. She was right about the drugs. Sticks and Johnny were into some heavy shit, but not him. He remembered smoking some weed and he’d drunk a few beers after the show, but she was wrong about the women.
“I’m surprised you remember anything from those days. You were pretty wasted that night. One of the bimbo’s was having a hard time getting a rise out of you, if I remember correctly.”
“No, Shannon. That can’t be.”
“You don’t remember the women, the drugs, me standing in your dressing room doorway devastated by your betrayal? Reynolds was there and told me to be patient and I’d get my turn. He’s a pig, by the way. I don’t know how you can stand him, but that doesn’t matter to me anymore. You don’t deserve me, Gideon Eli, Rock Star Extraordinaire. I’m too good for you. Now get out.”
“Mom! I can’t sleep. You’re talking too loud.”
He watched Shannon freeze, a horrified expression on her face. Gid’s eyes flew to the boy standing in the hallway behind her. In rumpled Batman pajamas, he stood, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He’d called her mom. Holy hell, was she married? No, she was using her maiden name. Studying the boy, he gauged him at eight, maybe nine. Gid quickly did the math, and a tightness, like a punch in the gut, started forming in the pit of his stomach. He looked at the wavy brown hair and the brilliant green eyes, just like Gid’s father and his sister—just like his own. The boy was a McCord up one side and down the other. Suspicion turned to certainty. This had to be his son, his and Shannon’s, and she had kept it from him all this time.
“Who are you?” the boy asked, looking up at him for the first time. Gid’s heart pounded in his chest as he stood speechless, scanning the innocent face that was his mirror image on a smaller scale. The next instant, the last remnant of doubt was erased as twin dimples, identical to his, appeared on the boy’s face. “Hey, I know you. You’re the man in Mom’s pictures.”
It was at that point Shannon moved. Flying across the room, she wrapped an arm around the boy’s slender shoulders as she directed him back toward his bedroom. “He’s leaving now, honeybun, and you are up way past your bedtime.”
“But I want to talk to your friend,” he protested as he shuffled his feet. “I want to ask him about his cool guitar.”
“Not tonight.” Looking back over her shoulder, she gave him a stern, no nonsense look. She was protecting her son, he knew that, but he’d be damned if he was going anywhere now.
“You can see yourself out, I’m sure.”
Anger flowed through him, his face tightened, and he felt a muscle jumping in his cheek as a wealth of emotion crept over him. “I’ll be here when you get back, Shannon. Apparently, we have a little matter to discuss. An important one that you failed to share with me about nine years ago, evidently.” His voice was soft and steady, but she’d be a fool not to heed the warning in his tone. He could feel the fury radiating outwardly in waves, even while he kept it in check.
“Let’s get you back to bed,” she whispered to their son as she hurried him down the hallway.
Left alone, the shock crashed over Gideon, and he lurched toward the nearest chair. He had to sit down before he fell down.
A son,
he thought in amazement. He had a son. Leaning forward, he propped his elbows on his knees and lowered his head to his hands.
Why hadn’t she told him?
His mind raced with questions but no answers. The path inevitably returned to that night.
Something had happened.
She spoke of lies and other women, but he had no fucking idea what she was talking about. He’d waited for hours at the hotel, but she didn’t come. She didn’t answer his calls either, and the next day when he’d gotten back to San Diego, she was gone.
His anger—which had been simmering—began to boil. He tried to tamp it down but soon it overflowed into a stunning rage. She’d stolen from him when she left. She’d taken his heart with her, and now he learned she’d stolen something more precious—his son and years of a life together that could never be replaced.
Chapter Five
Eli wanted a drink and to use the bathroom, stalling the whole while as he slowly washed his hands. Finally, he was tucked back in with his nightlight on.
“I’ll close the door until my company leaves. That way our voices won’t disturb you. But I’ll crack it before I head to bed.” Kissing his forehead, she brushed back his silky soft hair, taking comfort in the love she saw on his sweet face. “Sleep tight, angel.”
“Love you, Mama.”
“Love you more, Eli.”
Shannon took a deep breath before walking down the hallway to face Gideon again. She found him studying the row of pictures on her mantel. Other than a few of her parents, they were all of Eli—infant and toddler pictures, school portraits and sports photos. Eli loved basketball and baseball, so there were plenty of those. She watched in disbelief as he picked up a picture of her, holding a six-month-old Eli. It was one of her favorites, taken on Easter with Eli wearing the cutest little sailor suit. However, the picture and frame held a hidden meaning and meant a lot more to her than he could ever imagine.
“I can’t believe you kept my son from me, Shannon. What kind of woman does that to a man?”
“How dare you!” Storming across the room, she grabbed the picture out of his hands. “Go back to your booze and drugs and whores, and just leave us alone! You gave up your right to see your son years ago, Gideon. Now get out of my apartment before I call the police!”
Spinning on her suddenly, he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her toward him. Bending forward, he pulled her up on her tiptoes so that they were nose to nose. “That’s not going to happen. Do you hear me? You can’t keep me away now that I know he exists. You’ve stolen enough time from me already. I’ll fight you in court, Shannon. And I’ll win.”
“You are unbelievable! Where was all this passionate need to have a son years ago? You wanted nothing to do with him then.”
“That’s bullshit. You never gave me a chance to want him.”
Wrenching free of his grip, she took a step back. Flipping over the picture frame in her hand, she tore open the back and pulled out some papers hidden behind the backing. Taking them out, she slammed them against his chest, shoving with all her might. “Bullshit? Is this bullshit? Take your check back, you bastard! I never cashed it, as I’m sure you’re aware. What kind of man pays off the mother of his child to get out of his life? To cease and desist all contact, to vanish from his life. Well, I did it for free. Therefore, you have no right to be here now, no right to see him or act all holier than thou with me. You gave up your rights. Now get the hell out!”
Gideon was still once again. Like a statue, he watched as she stormed across the room and opened the door, foolishly expecting him to leave as she’d asked. Of course, he didn’t. Something was terribly wrong here. Looking down at the papers in his hands, he noticed the top one was an old check. Quickly scanning over it, he saw it was from the band’s joint account and his manager’s signature was at the bottom. It was like a knife in the heart. He didn’t remember any of this. What the fuck was going on? Shaking his head in disbelief, he unfolded the letter and read the cruel words. He hadn’t written them, but there at the bottom, like an accusing finger, was his signature. His mind reeling, he once again collapsed weakly onto a chair as he stared at the unfamiliar words, searching for clarity.