‘I’ll be right over here. If you need a cup of
shhu-gar.
’
Cassie had no pithy comeback as his door clicked quietly
shut.
THREE
After
tossing and
turning for most of the night—not something that was good
for her sanity—Cassie woke at nine a.m. and the first thing she thought about
was Tuck. She dragged a pillow over her head and bellowed a loud, furious
denial.
She
always
woke at six. And most
certainly
never
thought about a man.
Cassie’s brain was engaged the moment her eyes flicked open
after her regulation eight hours’ sleep. For the last several years her waking
thoughts had centred on her aurora research and she’d spring out of bed and head
straight for her computer.
This morning her head was full of Tuck and
the kiss.
Her computer, the research,
her will to
live—
all lost in a sea of oestrogen.
She yanked the pillow off her head and turned on her side. Her
baggy T-shirt was twisted around her torso and the movement pulled it taut
against her breasts. Her nipples responded to the brush of fabric, her belly
clamped, and a red-hot tingle took up residence at the juncture of her
thighs.
Cassie dragged some deep breaths in and out, trying to conjure
up the latest deep-space images she’d seen yesterday. But it was no use—she
could still smell him in her nostrils and taste him on her mouth.
The phone rang and she snatched it up immediately, grateful for
something else to do, to think about.
‘Hello?’
‘Cassie, get off that computer and get your heiny down here
now,’ Marnie demanded. ‘Reese is back and we’re having breakfast.’
Her friend’s Southern accent reminded her of Tuck’s lazy Texan
drawl and Cassie almost groaned out loud. ‘I’ll be there in ten.’
Anything—
anything—
to take her mind
off the annoying jock.
Cassie entered the grand dining room exactly ten minutes
later, completely oblivious to the eyebrows her rather informal attire was
raising. She’d thrown on a pair of loose leggings and a baggy T-shirt with a
slogan that said
‘Back in my day we had nine
planets’—
one of the many geek-themed shirts Gina, Marnie and Reese
had sent her over the years.
She hadn’t even bothered to brush her hair—just pulled it back
into her regulation low ponytail, with her regulation floral scrunchie, and
pushed one of her many-toothed Alice bands into it, ensuring it stayed scraped
back off her forehead. There really was nothing more annoying than hair getting
in the way when she was in the middle of something.
Actually, there was now. And its name was
Tuck.
Unlike the rest of the people in the dining room, dressed in
their country club pasteles, her friends didn’t bat an eyelid as Cassie scurried
their way, then plonked herself in one of the three empty seats at the round
table. They’d have been shocked had Cassie dressed in any other way.
Cassie forced a smile to her face as she looked at a glowing
Reese, radiating the same kind of happiness she had a decade ago when she and
her Marine had first met. ‘When did you get back? Where’s Mason?’
‘An hour ago.’ Reese grinned, sipping at some coffee. ‘He’s
taking care of some business.’
Cassie barely registered Reese’s reply but nodded anyway. A
waiter interrupted and Cassie, ignoring the piles of pancakes the others were
tucking into, ordered the same thing she had every morning for breakfast—yoghurt
and muesli and two slices of grain toast with Vegemite. When he informed her
they didn’t have Vegemite she ordered jam.
‘You okay?’ Reese frowned. ‘You look kind of tired.’
‘I didn’t sleep very well,’ Cassie said.
Marnie looked at Gina, and Gina narrowed her eyes at Cassie.
‘Since when doesn’t Little-Miss-Eight-Hours not sleep well?’
Cassie looked at her friends all watching her with curiosity.
She shrugged. She didn’t know what to tell them because she’d
never
not slept well.
Gina lounged back in her chair, her arms crossed, her fingers
tapping against her arms. ‘This hasn’t got anything to do with a certain
quarterback, has it?’
Marnie sat forward, her blonde hair neat as a pin in a high
ponytail that was one hundred percent more cute and perky than Cassie’s. ‘It
does, doesn’t it?’
Reese frowned at both her friends. ‘Tuck?’
‘Tuck and Cassie danced last night,’ Gina said.
‘Real close,’ Marnie added.
Reese blinked at her. ‘Cassie?’
Cassie had decided on her way down to the dining room that she
wasn’t going to tell a soul about the strange feelings coursing through her
body, but she felt herself sag under the scrutiny of three sets of eyes. She’d
always been a great believer in solving problems by seeking out experts in the
field. And, having lived with these three women and been through all their
relationship ups and downs, she had to admit she had a panel of experts in front
of her.
What better people to confide in?
‘I don’t know what’s happening,’ she murmured. ‘I couldn’t
sleep last night. I
always
sleep. I
need
to sleep. It’s vitally important that I do. I
take
specific
medication to switch off my brain so I
can sleep. And it never fails. I’m out like a light. Usually… And this morning I
didn’t wake until nine… I’m always up at six.
Always.
’
‘Well, you were tired,’ Marnie reasoned.
‘And do you know what my first waking thought was about?’
Cassie continued, ignoring Marnie.
‘I’m guessing it was about something a little closer to the
earth than usual?’ Gina said.
Cassie sighed in disgust. ‘It was him.
The
jock.
’ She looked at her friends for answers. ‘I don’t understand
what’s happening to me.’
Her friends didn’t say anything for a moment, as if they were
waiting for her to say more or to clarify something. Then, one by one, the three
women opposite her broke into broad grins.
She frowned. ‘What?’
Her friends had the audacity to laugh then, looking at each
other as they cracked up. Cassie glared at them. ‘This is not funny.’
‘No, of course not,’ Reese soothed as she struggled to regain
her composure. ‘Falling in love is never funny.’
Cassie gaped at Reese. ‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ she
spluttered.
‘Aww…’ Marnie purred, ignoring Cassie’s protest. ‘Our little
girl is all grown up now,’ she teased.
‘And to think,’ Reese continued, ‘we voted you the girl least
likely to ever fall for a man.’
Cassie crossed her arms across her chest and waited for their
frivolity to wane. She would not entertain such unscientific mumbo-jumbo. Love
was a fiction perpetuated by romance novels and Hollywood.
‘It’s not love,’ she said frostily when the last smile had
fallen beneath her uncompromising glare. ‘Just because you’re seeing the world
through rose-coloured glasses, Reese, does not mean I’ve taken leave of
my
senses. You know I don’t believe in that voodoo.
It’s his pheromones—that’s all. The man smells
incredible
…’
Cassie could still smell him on her, and she shut her eyes for
a moment to savour it.
‘It was dizzying,’ she said, eyes still closed. ‘Truly
sensational. Like it was all I could do to stop myself sniffing and sniffing and
sniffing him all night.’
Cassie’s eyelids fluttered open and she found her friends
staring at her with varying degrees of perplexity. She cleared her throat and
straightened in her chair. ‘Anyway…it’s obviously a scent I’m biologically
programmed to respond to. It’s just…biochemistry. Nothing more.’
The waiter arrived and conversation stopped as he placed
Cassie’s breakfast in front of her. When he left Cassie looked at Gina. ‘Surely
there’s a lay word for that other than
love?
When
your body overrules your brain?’
Gina nodded. ‘Yep. We call it horny.’
Cassie shook her head. ‘No.’ She was a scientist.
She refused to be horny.
Gina nodded again. ‘Totally gagging for it.’
Cassie wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, but it sounded like
something they’d say in the locker room on an American cop show. ‘Absolutely
not.’
‘Libido?’ Reese supplied.
Cassie paused. She liked that word best. It was backed up by
science—the non-Freudian kind. It could be proved—the area of the brain
responsible for libido had been studied extensively.
‘Yes,’ Gina agreed. ‘It’s your libido knocking.’
‘Okay, I can buy that,’ Cassie conceded. ‘But my libido has
never been an issue before, so why is it knocking now?’
‘Well, that’s easy,’ Gina said. ‘When was the last time you had
sex?’
Cassie thought about it for a moment. It had been Len’s
birthday request. ‘Seven months ago.’
Gina blinked. ‘Seven
months?
’ She
looked at Reese and Marnie, who were also staring at Cassie’s admission. ‘Well,
in that case it’s
definitely
your libido.’
‘Who’s the guy?’ Marnie asked.
‘His name is Len. He’s another astronomer at the university.
We’ve been working on the same project for the last five years. We have a
regular hook-up.’
‘Every
seven
months?’ Gina
interjected.
‘It varies,’ Cassie said, oblivious to the palpable incredulity
around the table. ‘Usually whenever he starts to get cranky. I’ve found that it
improves his focus.’
‘Okay…’ Gina said, shaking her head. ‘So this last time—was
it…you know…good?’
Cassie shrugged. Personally she’d never got the big deal about
sex. ‘It was satisfactory.’
Gina looked at Reese for back-up. ‘I think what Gina means,’
Reese continued, ‘is did you…you know…’ she lowered her voice ‘…orgasm?’
‘Oh, no,’ Cassie said, unfazed by the conversation. When they’d
all lived together Cassie had been privy to many girly chats about all kinds of
sex-related issues. She’d learned a great deal of stuff in that house that a
bunch of lectures and books had never taught her. ‘I’ve never had an
orgasm.’
Had Cassie been one to find humour in awkward situations she
would have found the total disbelief on her friends’ faces completely hilarious.
They’d all stopped eating and were staring at her.
‘What…
never?
’ Marnie asked after a
stunned silence.
Cassie shook her head. ‘No.’
‘Not even…by yourself?’ Reese asked.
‘Or with a vibrator?’ added Gina, last to recover.
Cassie looked from one to the other. ‘I’ve never masturbated
and I don’t own, nor have I ever, a vibrator.’
More silence followed, finally broken by Gina’s, ‘Well, that’s
just
unnatural.
Going without sex is one thing, but
there is no excuse for not indulging in a little self-love, Cassiopeia. It’s
perfectly healthy.
Normal,
actually. Didn’t I teach
you anything?’
Cassie put down her spoon. ‘No, it’s fine. Some people don’t
need sex.’ She shrugged. ‘I’m one of them.’
‘It’s
not
fine,’ Reese interjected.
‘I don’t know who this Len is that you’ve been having sex with…very,
very
infrequently…but he’s definitely doing it all
wrong.’
‘No, it’s not his fault.’
‘Oh, I think it is,’ Marnie said.
‘No, really.’ Cassie looked at her friends’ concerned faces.
‘The medication I take to sleep…one of its side-effects is libido suppression
and difficulty achieving orgasm.’
Gina shuddered. ‘I think I’d rather stay awake for the rest of
my life.’ She looked at Cassie. ‘Are you sure you need it?’
Cassie nodded. ‘Without it my brain doesn’t switch off and I
can’t sleep. And that’s extremely detrimental to my health. I start to get a
little OCD without sleep. And one stay in the psych ward as a teenager was more
than enough.’ Cassie vividly remembered the chaos her mind had descended
into—how she’d quickly spiralled out of control. ‘Trust me, that’s an experience
I never want to repeat.’
Gina, Reese and Marnie didn’t even know what to say to
that
revelation. They were still stuck back at the
no-orgasm thing.
‘I still think Len could try a little harder,’ Marnie said
after the silence had gone on for a while.
‘Oh, he tried in the beginning. A couple of times. But it
wasn’t happening and it was taking for ever and I really don’t have time for all
that carry-on. It was never really for my benefit anyway, so now we don’t bother
about me.’
Gina gaped. ‘Do you…kiss? Is there foreplay?’
Cassie shook her head. ‘Not really. I prefer it when he cuts to
the chase. It’s quicker that way.’
Gina looked at Reese. ‘Where did we go wrong with her?’
Reese shook her head. ‘I have no idea.’
‘Right,’ Gina said, picking up her coffee cup and taking a sip.
‘Let’s deal with the most pressing issue and hopefully the other problem will
sort itself out. What we have here is you suffering from a libido that has
suddenly roared to life—which is probably due to a combination of lack of sexual
satisfaction for the
entirety
of your life and the
fact that you’re almost thirty. Women’s sex drives peak around thirty. That’s a
well-known scientific fact, right? Or it is according to women’s magazines.’
Cassie nodded. ‘Correct.’
‘And Tuck has come along at this crossroads of sexual
frustration and the natural peaking of your sex drive and it’s like he’s…tripped
a switch.’
Cassie was pretty sure it could be put more scientifically, but
she liked Gina’s logic. And logic was beautiful. ‘Good. Okay. So what do I do
about it?’
Gina shrugged, putting her coffee cup back in its saucer.
‘Easy. You bonk Tuck’s brains out until that libido of yours stops
bitching.’
Reese choked on a mouthful of pancake. When she’d finished
coughing she said to Gina, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea. I love my cousin.
He’s hot and sweet, and from what I read in the tabloids he may well be God’s
gift to the female of the species, but he’s not exactly the settling down
type.’