Authors: Dee Dawning
Lindy dropped Sally back at her congressional office and took off.
Sally stopped at her secretary's desk. "Hi Millie. It's been quiet, I hope."
"Hello, Ms. Cummings." Millie lifted a small stack of message slips. "Not that quiet. Here are your messages"
Sally swallowed and thumbed through the messages. Six women wanting
to run for office, an advertising agency offering their services at a discount, a blogger, a local reporter and a local TV news show wanting to interview her.
"These came in since I was gone?"
"No, those are only half. I put the rest in your office. The phone hasn't
stopped—"
"Congresswoman Cumming's office."
"I'm only taking messages right now. Give me your name, contact
information and what you're calling about." Mille began to write on the tablet.
"Spell your last name for me."
"Uh-huh."
"Okay. I will pass this on to the congresswoman. Thank you for calling."
Millie ripped the slip off and handed it to Sally. "Someone running for mayor in Showlow, Arizona. Are you interested?"
"I'm interested in all of them. I just need the time and manp…I mean
womanpower to get all this done. Where's Brenda?"
"Gone, she had some kind of emergency.
"Millicent, I'm so sorry. I never dreamed."
"Actually, I don't mind. You're doing good work and I'd rather be really
busy than make busy, if you know what I mean. The only problem is, as state
employees, Brenda and I shouldn't be doing this."
"You're right. Starting right now, Brenda and you are working for SAFE.
Lindy is changing the phone number on our contact information. I want you to
be Brenda's assistant. In the meantime, your first job is to find a new receptionist for me here and train her."
Millie clasped her hands together. "Ooh, this is so exciting. I'll call the state employment office right now."
~ * * ~
"Lindy, Sally. There were nineteen more messages while we were gone. I
could get in trouble if we continue to take SAFE calls here. It's also not good to send and receive SAFE emails on state owned computers."
"I agree, what do you want to do?"
"I'm hiring Brenda and Millie away from the state. Can they stay at your
office until we get our new campaign office open?"
"We'll be cramped, but we'll survive."
"Have you done anything about getting the office ready?"
"Not yet. I got the lease six hours ago, spent three hours there with you and have spent every minute since trying to fix our website. Sally?"
"Yes."
We're going to have to buy some booster equipment. I never expected this
kind of traffic."
"Well at least we have a good problem instead of a bad one. How much do
you need to spend?"
"Four or five thousand."
"Go ahead. Is Brenda there?"
"Yeah, she's trying to help. She can't do much, though."
"Then get her working on the office, even if we have to pay for it. Do
whatever we can without permits. We can always make the office look pretty
later." "Will do."
"And tell her she works for SAFE now with a 20% raise."
Chapter Five – Day Seven
I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and
politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. –
- Mark Twain
Democratic National Committee
"Look at this, boss. Is this crazy or what? We have a disgruntled democratic House member who started a new political party."
Charlie flicked his wrist in indifference. "Don't worry, Hastings. That's
nothing new. It happens all the time. The Tea Party is the closest we've ever had to a third party and, after only four years, their popularity is waning. I would say this guy has a one in a million chance of succeeding."
"Well sir, this guy is a woman and her party is a women's party."
Charlie frowned and pursed his lips. "Hmm." He cupped his chin. "You didn't say that."
"Sorry sir."
"Well in this volatile gender climate, that could be problematic, but it's still a very long, long-shot. Women are seething mad, but from what I can tell they're
pissed at the Republicans and rightfully so. Can you imagine—personhood,
restricting contraception, defunding Planned Parenthood and the big one, trans-
vaginal ultrasound probes and now Lush Rimbaugh—how stupid. It's like
someone slipped them a 'I hate women drug'. I love it."
"Yes, I love it too, sir, but I think I should point out that should this party be successful, they would appeal more to the women of our base than the
Republican base."
Charlie Simpson scratched his head.
Hastings eased closer. "They're accepting men too. Men can join."
Charlie flared his nostrils. "Hmm, this could be more trouble than I thought.
Have you seen their website?"
"I have. I must say, I like it. The web site is first class, both patriotic and feminine."
Charlie directed his mouse to the Google page. "What's that url?"
"It's www.safe.gov."
He typed in the url and hit enter. "It's not even there. Some organization, they can't even keep their website up."
"Sir, I saw it myself just before I came in here. What does the message say?"
Charlie leaned close to the monitor.
Due to your overwhelming response, we have been
unable to handle all the traffic. We are working on
it. Please try back late evening or early morning.
In the meantime, stay SAFE
"Jesus, they had so many hits, they crashed."
"They're also on social media."
"And, how're they doing?"
"Quite good."
Charlie rested his forehead in the palms of his hands. "I think I better call the chairwoman."
~ * * ~
Sally glanced up when she heard someone enter the room and was
surprised to find, Kelly and Lindy smiling at her. "Have you had lunch yet?"
"Why is…" Sally peeked at her watch. "Hmm, almost two o'clock." She looked up at the pair. "I guess, I've been so focused on this bill, I guess I worked through lunch. I heard you're having more problems with the website?"
"Not really. We kept the site operating with band-aids until ten o'clock this morning, then he shut down for an hour to install the more powerful equipment.
The website is sailing right along now.
"C'mon Sally, Kelly and I would like to take you to a late lunch."
Kelly chimed in, excitedly, "Yes, we have some news for you."
"You do? Tell me."
Kelly grinned. "Tsk tsk, you'll find out at lunch."
Sally smiled. "All right, on the way out, I'll tell my new secretary I'm
leaving."
The three of them piled into Lindy's SUV and were on their way. Sally
ventured a question. "So, where are we going?"
Lindy cast a sideways smile. "You'll find out when we get there."
~ * * ~
Republican National Committee – Chairman's Office
Chairman Crowe Magnon rose as his right hand toady, Willie Joe Flounder,
waltzed in. "What did you find out?"
Willie Joe sat in the closest chair, scooted it forward, lifted his feet onto
Crowe's desk and wrapped his hands around the back of his head—something
that drove the chairman absolutely bonkers. "Get your fucking feet off my desk.
Where do you think you are, back home in Yazoo City, Mississippi?" He shoved the offending feet off his desk, which jerked Willie Joe forward and almost off
the seat.
"Sorry, I forgot."
"You do that again and I might forget to sign your check. Now, what did
you find out?"
"Nothing you'd be interested in. Their website counter read three hundred-
sixty-nine-thousand nine-hundred and nine."
Crowe began to rub his forehead. "Geez, in only a week."
"Or less. They've been down a couple times."
"That's even worse. What about Twitter?"
"They have sixty thousand followers and Facebook almost as many friends."
"Sixty thousand? That's double what I have in more than a year. What are
we going to do?"
Willie Joe shrugged. "Call the boss?"
Crowe narrowed his blue eyes. "I am the boss."
Willie Joe's eyes opened wide and he sat up straight. "I…ah…meant the
party strategist."
Crowe straightened up, too. "Good idea." He dialed the phone.
"American Crossburnings."
"Mr. Rogue, please."
"He's talking with someone. It shouldn't be long. Do you want to leave a
message or wait?
"Thanks, I'll wait."
An entire Viagra commercial played before Crowe's call was accepted.
"Rogue here."
"Karol, it's Crowe."
"Yes ,Crowe?" click.
"There may be a big problem developing."
"What?" click.
"Are you familiar with SAFE? S-A-F-E?"
"No, what is it?" click.
"SAFE stands for Stand Aligned For Equality. They're a women's political
party. I'm trying to get the dope on them. So far, with the ongoing war on
women, their timing is perfect."
"Damn it, Crowe. How many times do I have to tell you? There is no war on
women." click.
"Sorry, it just seems absurd to deny it when it's so obvious what we're
doing. Why are we doing this, anyway?"
"I told you. Now that we finally have control in the House and most of the
state legislatures, the establishment wants to get as much of their agenda passed as they can." click.
"And that includes messing with women's birth control? That's a real loser.
Sir, what is that clicking noise I keep hearing?"
He laughed. "I'm clipping my toe nails. Does that bother you?" click.
Crowe scrunched his nose. "No sir, of course not."
"To answer your question, I think they're doing this because they're not so certain we'll have majorities after the next election."
"I don't blame them with Mr. Roboto at the head of the ticket."
"Exactly, it seems absurd, but always remember that women aren't that
smart and they have short attention spans. Just deny 'the war on women' until
your nose begins to grow. Ha, ha, Pinocchio, nose grows, get it?"
"Yes Boss, loud and clear!"
"Good, in a couple months, they won't even remember what they were mad
about. But just to make sure, we'll bombard them with $20 million dollars worth
of Crossburnings negative advertising against the Democrats. You know how
our voters love it when we lay the blame for everything at the feet of our hapless opponents. By the time we finish with the women, they'll think the Democrats
are the party waging war on them. Got it?"
"Yes, boss."
"Nevertheless, this SAFE thing bothers me. If they happen to take any
Senate seats, and keep us from getting a super-majority, they could collude with the Dems to obfuscate the way we've been doing things for two years. Just to be
safe, keep an eye on them and let me know about anything that seems
important."
"Yes, sir. I'll have Willie Joe keep an eye on them ladies."
"Willie Joe?"
"Yes, sir."
"He doesn't seem all that bright."
"He is sir. He's a born again Evangelical Christian."
"I meant…never mind. Just keep me informed."
~ * * ~
Lindy got on Interstate 95, heading toward D.C. Sally recognized the route.
"We're going to the campaign office, aren't we?"
Kelly snickered. "You found us out. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. We'll be there in twenty minutes."
When Lindy pulled in the parking lot, Sally was totally unprepared for
what she saw. Ladders and other painting paraphernalia blocked her view, but
she got the idea and loved it.
The building had been painted in three colors—from top to bottom it was
now pink, white and sky blue with stars and stripes banners draping from the
higher parapets of the entry vestibule. "How did you manage?" Sally asked.
Lindy laughed as she pulled into a parking place right in front of the
entrance. "A couple contractors Kelly got agreed to work on it straight through—
pro bono, I might add—until it was complete. We're paying only for materials.
Do you like it?"
"I…ah…I…em…am speechless. Lindy, Kelly, it's perfect."
Lindy opened her door. "Let's go inside. Brenda, Carla and our benefactors
are waiting for us."
Kelly and Sally got out. "Benefactors?"
"The contractors I mentioned." The three women strode to the entrance.
"They're still putting in the finishing touches, so be careful—wet paint and such."
As they entered, Sally paused to scan the reception area. A pink counter
with a gray top jutted out from the wall to their left about twenty feet. Beyond were four pink and gray, four-station cubicles. "Pink cubicles. Where did you…?"
"A manufacturer made a bunch of them and couldn't sell them." Kelly
answered, "These were free, but if we want more, we'll have to buy them at a hundred dollars each—which is still a steal."
"I'll say."
Lindy touched Sally's arm. "This way."
She led the trio around the counter and past the cubicles to a hall, which
served several rooms. Lindy opened doors. "This is my office and this is Brenda's office." The two offices across the hall from each other were small and bare with a desk, file cabinet and three chairs.
Lindy led them a little further down the hall to two larger offices. "This
office is yours and the one across the hall is a spare office."
Sally's office wasn't any wider, but was longer. It had an executive desk and
credenza similar to what she had in her Senate office. Two occasional chairs
faced the desk and a couch rested against the far wall. Unlike the other offices, this one had wall and counter decor. "Ooh Lindy, it's beautiful. I'm speechless that you did all this in so short a time."