Give Me Four Reasons (13 page)

I nod.

‘Changes are good, Poss. I told you that.’ Dad smiles.

Mum tuts loudly.

Dad ignores her. ‘So you girls can come over to my place on Saturday,’ he says. ‘I’ll pick you up at one. You can meet Chloe. You’ll love her.’

I nod and smile and allow myself to be hugged. But, as soon as my father has said goodbye and let himself out the front door, I run into my bedroom and burrow down amongst the bears on my bed.

A while later, I calm down and get up from the bed. I catch sight of myself in the mirror. My face looks puffy and blotchy from crying. I head into the bathroom, go to the tap, and dab water on my face.

As I reach for a towel, I notice one of Felicity’s magazines on the side of the bath. It is open and folded back at an article entitled ‘How to Make a Splash This Summer’.

I pick up the magazine, hoping to take my mind off Dad. It is full of make-up tips and hair-straightening tricks. I read about the latest ‘must-have’ mobile phones and ringtones, and about how to glide as I walk.

I perch on the edge of the bath and flick through the pages, looking for something that’s actually interesting to read. At the back of the magazine is a section called ‘How Embarrassing’, where readers send in their stories. There is one about a girl who takes a shortcut through a caravan park with all her friends and they have to climb over a high fence. She slips as she climbs and is left dangling upside down by her skirt, flashing her undies to all her friends and the people at the caravan park. I laugh, though I’d die of shame if it happened to me.

‘Paige!’ Felicity calls, banging so hard on the door that it shudders. ‘Get out! I need to brush my teeth.’

‘Okay, keep your undies on,’ I reply. I close the magazine and place it at the end of the bath. It is only then that I notice its name:
Cindy
.

Didn’t Claire, the Queen of Clairvoyance, say I should follow the advice of someone called Cindy?

17

I get up early the next morning and dress for school. I put on the same skirt as yesterday, but a fresh blouse. I want to go over to Elfi’s house before school, so I gobble my choco pops as quickly as possible and then lift the bowl to my mouth to drink the chocolate milk left in the bottom of the bowl. In my haste I tip the bowl up too far and the milk spills down my blouse and into my lap. I am a mess.

I run into my bedroom to change. Hanging on my doorknob is my new skirt from Farram’s Uniforms that Mum spent hours taking in last night. As I hold it against me, the longer length seems weird. So I take another old one of Felicity’s from her chest of drawers. I put on a new blouse and then I brush my teeth. I grab my bag and leave the house.

* *

Ping! Ping! Ping!
I throw three dried-up seed pods at Elfi’s window. I am about to search under the trees for more when the window slides open. Elfi is brushing her teeth. She points and gurgles for me to move out of the way so she can spit the frothy glob of toothpaste onto the clivia leaves. I jump back as a foaming white ball splashes onto my shoe.

‘Sorry,’ she says. ‘That toothpaste really burns if you leave it in too long.’

‘Can I come in?’ I ask.

‘I’m not sure,’ she says. ‘I heard you spent a month in gaol.’

‘All I said was “juvie”,’ I correct her.

‘Did you?’ she says. ‘I know I didn’t see you all summer …’

‘No, of course not!’

‘Then why are you telling everyone you did?’

I bend down and wipe the toothpaste off my shoe with my fingers. Then I wipe my fingers on the grass. ‘I … I … Look, it just came out. Juvie is what Felicity nicknamed the caravan park.’

‘But now everyone thinks you’re a real rebel!’

‘Really? Who?’

‘Everyone.’ Elfi brushes her hair back and slips on a black headband. ‘All the kids were talking about Paige Winfrey.’

That’s a sentence I have never heard before. I try not to smile, but Elfi catches the smirk anyway.

‘Do you think it’s funny, Paige? Is that how you want to be known at high school?’

‘No. No. It was kind of a joke, I guess, and most people know that now.’

‘Your new friends?’ Elfi’s eyes are cold.

‘They’re just the girls in my class. We were getting to know each other. One of them is the Starshine Girl.’

‘The what?’

‘The Starshine Girl. You know, off that toothpaste advert.’

Just then, a voice from inside the house calls, ‘Elfi!’

Elfi swings around from the window. Her mother speaks to her in German. Elfi answers her and I hear my name mentioned several times. Elfi turns back to the window. ‘Mum wants you to get out of her flower beds and come to the front door like a normal person.’

I trudge around to the front of the house. Mrs Guttenheim unlocks the door.

‘
Guten Tag
, Mrs Guttenheim,’ I say.

She stares down at my legs and frowns. I wipe my feet on the mat. She is still frowning. ‘Where is rest of skirt?’ she says.

Elfi rescues me. ‘Bye, Mum.’ She kisses her mother on the cheek and ushers me down the path. Mrs Guttenheim mutters something in German. I can tell by the tone that it is not something nice. Elfi’s face goes red. She turns back and glares at her mother.

‘What did she say?’ I ask.

‘You don’t want to know,’ Elfi answers.

* *

Rochelle meets us by the park next to the school. ‘I didn’t know whether we’d be seeing you today,’ she says.

‘Why wouldn’t you?’ I put my arm around her waist, which for me is like hugging a giraffe. I do the same with Elfi. ‘We’re best buddies.’

‘You look different from the buddy I had last year,’ Rochelle says.

‘But I’m still the same old me.’

‘Good,’ Rochelle says. ‘I like the old you.’

‘So do I,’ Elfi says.

Well, that makes three of you, I think, including Jed. But, when you count, three people liking the old me isn’t enough, especially if I’m not one of them. Then I feel guilty for thinking like that, because our motto is not to change.

The old me would have told Elfi and Rochelle all about Dad leaving by now. It feels weird keeping it a secret, but I would have told them if they had ever really asked me how I was since the holidays.

As we near the school gate, Sidney and Miff jump off a bus on the other side of the road. I drop my arms from around Elfi and Rochelle and lag behind. I start rummaging through my bag, pretending to be looking for something. It feels wrong, but it’s the only thing I can think of to do. My old friends are so different to my new ones, and I need time to work out how to introduce them properly.

Sidney and Miff are busy chatting and laughing as they cross the road and walk towards us to the open gate.

‘Hey, Paige!’ Sidney calls. ‘So did you do that boring English homework for smelly Mr Reyne yet?’

I remember my promise to start telling the truth to these girls from now on. ‘Of course,’ I say. ‘It’s not like I’m a rebel or anything like that.’

‘No, of course not!’ Miff says sarcastically. She and Sidney smile at each other.

Rochelle and Elfi stop just inside the gate and wait for me. Sidney and Miff look at them, then back at me. Their eyebrows are raised. So much for my plan to wait and introduce my two groups of friends later.

‘Sidney and Miff, this is Rochelle and Elfi,’ I say. ‘They went to my old school.’

‘Hi,’ Rochelle and Elfi chorus.

‘So has Paige always been crazy?’ Sidney asks them.

Rochelle and Elfi glance at each other. Now it’s their turn to raise their eyebrows.

I jump in front of Elfi and Rochelle and start babbling. ‘Did you guys buy all the things we had to get for Art? Mum and I went to the art supply shop in town before the holidays and got all the books, and folders and drawing tools that were on the list.’ I open my bag and reveal its contents.

‘I’ll get mine on the weekend,’ Sidney says.

‘Me too,’ says Miff.

‘They’ve got all that stuff at the factory outlet centre, too,’ Rochelle says.

‘That’s where I got mine. It’s much cheaper,’ Elfi adds.

Miff looks at Rochelle and Elfi as though they are lice. ‘Who shops at the factory outlet centre?’ Then she looks down at their bags and their shoes. ‘Oh, I guess you do.’

I see and feel the humiliation on the faces of my two best friends. Rochelle clenches her teeth. Elfi steps over to stand beside me, staking her claim. She pushes her glasses up her nose and turns to me. ‘Let’s go,’ she says.

‘Um … I’ll catch you up in a minute,’ I tell her. ‘I just need a bit of help with my homework from these guys.’

Rochelle stares at me. Her eyes are cold. ‘Don’t bother, Paige.’ She grabs Elfi’s arm and they walk off together.

My stomach bubbles with a strange mixture of feelings.
Wait for me!
I want to cry out.
That’s not fair. I didn’t say anything!
But when they don’t stop and don’t even turn around to see if I’m coming, I huff.
Well, that’s a nice way to treat your friends!

‘They’re an odd pair,’ Sidney says, watching Rochelle and Elfi go.

‘What’s the deal with the mousey one?’ Miff asks. ‘Been watching too many old war movies?’

‘Her folks are German, so she’s got a bit of an accent,’ I say. ‘They’re both nice girls,’ I add. ‘You know, smart and funny——’

‘They’re funny all right,’ Miff says. ‘Funny hair, funny eyes, funny faces. I once had a guinea pig that looked like that tall one.’

Miff raises her hand to high-five Sidney. Sidney rolls her eyes but allows her palm to be slapped. ‘You’re cruel, Miff.’

‘No, cruel is letting those two live with faces like that!’ Miff shrieks, slapping her thighs.

I am about to walk away in disgust.

‘Miff, stop being so mean!’ Sidney says.

Miff instantly shuts up, but then calls out to Nick and Jay, who have just hopped off a bus nearby. Sidney turns to me and whispers, ‘Miff can be a real spiteful cow. I’m so glad you’re in my class this year, Paige.’

I can’t believe my ears. Sidney’s glad I’m in her class! I just smile at her and say nothing.

‘Let’s go!’ Sidney says. She grabs one of my arms. Miff finishes waving to the boys and grabs the other. And, just like I’d walked with Elfi and Rochelle a few minutes earlier, we step through the school gates and into the playground.

A huge group of kids are sitting under Sidney’s tree. And around the quadrangle, instead of the pairs of kids that clung together yesterday, there are clusters of six or seven as people form themselves into groups.

The crowd parts as we walk through the largest of the groups. Sidney sits down on the highest patch of grass, which is right against the tree trunk. It’s almost like a throne. The spot seems to have been reserved especially for her. And, to her left, and her right, two places have also been reserved. I glance around, looking to see if Mandi or Brooke are heading for them. But they are already sitting down nearby. Miff sits down on Sidney’s right. Then Sidney nods at me, so I sit down on the tiny patch of grass on her left. I can’t believe I’m back hanging out with the popular kids for the second day in a row.

I don’t turn my head to see if Rochelle and Elfi are staring down from the cockroach hole. I’m still cranky with them for blaming me when Miff was rude to them.

I look at the kids around me instead. Nick, Flynn, Jay and Liam are there as usual, sneaking glances at Sidney. The girls are talking about the sporting teams, the upcoming Orientation Camp and how much they hate the school uniform we have to wear. All I do is listen. I don’t have anything interesting to add.

‘Is that a different skirt from yesterday, Paige?’ Sidney asks.

I’m about to tell her that it’s another one of my sister’s, when I get worried that will sound really boring, or Miff will think we’re poor. ‘Um … yeah. I … I ripped the other one,’ I hear myself say.

‘Ripped it? How?’ Miff asks.

Now I have started this lie, I can’t stop. ‘On a fence. I took a shortcut through the …’ I rack my brain for a place with a high mesh fence. ‘Through the golf course on the way home yesterday. I had to climb this really high fence. I was almost over the top when I slipped and nearly went crashing to the ground.’

All eyes are on me. All ears are tuned in. ‘But my skirt saved me. It got caught on a bit of wire,’ I add.

There is silence. I try to think of the rest of the story. The bit that made me laugh. ‘Um … so there I was, hanging upside down flashing my undies to all the old guys golfing. They were cracking up.’

And now my new friends are cracking up, too.

‘No way,’ yells Miff.

‘That is so funny,’ Brooke cackles.

‘Oh, Paige,’ Sidney splutters. ‘How embarrassing.’

‘All the golfers were cracking up …’ Holly is laughing so hard she can’t get the words out. ‘And you were …
ha, ha
… showing them your——’

‘Don’t say it,’ Mia says, holding her stomach. ‘I’m already laughing so hard it hurts.’

I look around and smile at my new friends. They all look so happy and pleased I am here. Elfi and Rochelle never listen to me like that when I am telling a story. I feel a twinge of guilt that what I told my new friends wasn’t true, but then I stop worrying. Who’s to say it couldn’t have happened to me? And if I keep on being funny and interesting, maybe I can hang with these girls a little longer.

18

I go to the cockroach hole at first break. I’m still annoyed with Rochelle and Elfi but I decide to let it go. There’s no reason why my old friends and my new friends can’t get along with each other. And maybe, with me in the middle, I won’t be invisible any more.

I get to the top of the stairs and look around. I’m the first one here. It is a grimy area and I can’t imagine why we decided to claim it as ours. I sit on the top step and wait.

Rochelle arrives next. ‘You can see right up that skirt, you know,’ she says as she climbs the stairs towards me.

I move my feet to the step below. ‘Are you signing up for basketball?’ I ask.

Rochelle sits down beside me and opens the cling wrap on her sandwich. She takes two bites before answering. ‘Yeah. I see you’re doing netball.’

I gulp. ‘Really?’ I’d kind of been hoping Miff wouldn’t get round to signing all of us up.