Give Me Strength (38 page)

“You’re not talking.”

A tear leaked out my eye and Travis froze.

“Did I hurt you, sweetheart?”

Another tear leaked out and he drew back.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered thickly.

He rolled over, dragging me with him, until I
was sitting above him and the tear rolled down and dripped onto his
chest. I reached out to wipe it away, and he grabbed my wrist.
“Don’t. Do you need to talk? I know your first counselling session
with Jude isn’t for another few days, but I’m here now.”

“Travis!” Another bang came at the door, this
time from Henry. “Casey and Evie just got in from a surf. He says
you two had something to do today?”

“Be right there!”

Travis slammed his head back into the pillows.
“Christ. We need to get our own place.” He gave me a speculative
look. “Move into the loft with me?”

“Oh God,” I whispered, and as another tear
threatened, I blinked it back with considerable effort. “I
can’t.”

Disappointment shadowed across Travis’s face
before he schooled his features. “It’s too soon. I’m sorry.”

“No,” I protested. “It’s not about time. I want
to be with you. I miss you when you’re not there.” My face flushed
wildly at the admission. I was not used to putting myself out there
as much as I had been lately. Travis reached out and took my hands,
giving them a squeeze.

“I…it’s Rufus. He can’t live in a loft.”

“He’s a big dog,” Travis agreed. “Needs
space.”

Reaching up he pulled me down against his chest,
one hand holding me close, the other skimming down my back. He
pressed a kiss against my head where it was tucked under his chin.
“Maybe we can get somewhere together.”

I thought quietly for a moment, feeling my
lashes brush softly against his skin as I blinked. “What about
Casey?”

“We’ll work something out.” Travis exhaled
softly. “Now tell me why the tears?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

I knew Travis wouldn’t let it go. “I love that
about you,” I whispered.

“Love what?” he asked gruffly.

The vibration of his voice against my chest had
me sighing in pleasure. “That you don’t let me close myself off
from you. Most of the time I don’t even realise I’m doing it, but
you never let me.”

Travis rubbed his hand in circles on the small
of my back, warming me. “You know what I love about you?”

“What?” I whispered.

“Your biscuits.”

I sat up a little so he could see my glare. A
chuckle rose from deep in his chest as he grabbed my ass in both
hands. “I love this too.”

“Travis!”

He rolled us both over until we were side by
side and brushed a thumb gently across my cheek, silent for a
moment as his eyes drank me in. “Quinn,” he said softly. “I also
love knowing I have you to look forward to at the end of the day,
and I love knowing that when I open my eyes in the morning the
first thing I’ll see is you.”

“I remember the first morning I woke up and all
I saw was you.”

“Yeah?”

“I was horrified. Not at first, because you were
lying on your stomach, one arm curled under the pillow and the
ahh…sheet wasn’t quite covering you. You were the most beautiful
man I ever saw, and I panicked because I was quite the
opposite—”

Travis frowned. “Quinn—”

“Let me finish. So I ran, but obviously not far
enough because there you were again, and I cursed my luck. How was
it fair that someone I wanted so much was never meant to be mine?
Everything that was ever beautiful in my life was always taken from
me, and it was scary to think you’d be the same. But you never
stopped fighting for me, and you forced me to see that maybe I
really was worth fighting for. You took away all the ugly on the
inside, Travis, and you made me beautiful.”

There was a slight quaver in my voice because
saying that wasn’t easy, but the way he was looking at me made my
heart want to burst.

“Christ, sweetheart.” Travis crushed his mouth
down on mine, kissing me wildly, his hands fisting in the back of
my hair as his lips moved over mine until he broke away, breathing
heavily. “Have I told you how much I fucking love you?”

Later that night in the dressing room of the
White Demon, Jamieson on a set break, Mac was fiddling with my
hair. Turns out today was not only an epic shopping day, but a
semi-makeover day too. My hair was freshly cut. Not only that, it
was done by Evie’s hairdresser who, according to her, was shit hot.
Looking at Evie’s glossy mane I could only agree. The past few
months my hair had grown, but I really liked the shorter style. Now
it was choppy and styled in messy waves and sat just above my
shoulders.

Lucy, here with Rick for the show, met my eyes
in the mirror. “Does it look okay?”

Her eyes softened as she reached out and ruffled
my hair. “You look perfect.”

“It’s shorter than Trav’s hair now.” Mac turned
from playing with my hair to smirk at Travis where he stood leaning
against the wall talking with Jared and Henry. “When are you
cutting your hair? People might start mistaking you for a
girl.”

I turned from my seat to look at Travis, and
just like every time, my mouth went dry. His wide chest and muscled
arms were on display in his fitted Jamieson shirt, golden stubble
covered his jaw, and his hair barely fit into the tie that was
holding it off his face. He was utterly beautiful.

“Travis isn’t cutting his hair,” I
announced.

He raised his brows at me. “I’m not?”

“Neither is Jared,” Evie told the room as she
uncapped a bottle of water.

Everyone looked at Jared. Another inch and he’d
be tying it back too.

Cooper nudged Frog, knocking him off his perch
on the arm of the couch. “I told you. Chicks dig guys with long
hair.”

“Why the fuck do you think I haven’t had my hair
cut for three months?”

Ignoring the chatter around all of us, Travis
pushed off against the wall, and watching him stride towards me
took my breath away.

“Ordering me about already?” he asked.

I stood up. Tilting my head to meet his eyes and
sliding my arms around his neck, I grinned. I couldn’t help it.

“You have a problem with that?”

“No. I like it.” He leaned in and rubbed his
nose against mine. “I spoke with Casey today and Coby. Coby has a
big house in Coogee he lives in on his own. Said he could rent it
to us and he could move into the loft with Casey. At least until we
worked out what we wanted to do. We could build a house or buy one
and renovate.”

From her nearby vantage point, Evie obviously
overhead Travis speaking and shouted, “No! Don’t do it, Quinn. Just
buy one all ready to move into. Renovations are more painful than
being shot.”

Jared rolled his eyes. “Baby, I’ve been the one
doing all the work while you’re the one standing by causing drama
because you keep changing your mind.”

Evie raised her eyebrows at me as if to say “see
my point?”

Travis smiled down at me. “Well we have plenty
of time to make a decision. Still not too soon?”

“No!” I bit my lip, thinking of how it would be
to live with Travis. The past two weeks we hadn’t slept apart, but
to have our own space? No interruptions, no fights for the
bathroom, quiet lazy mornings in bed.

“Oh,” I breathed, “I can have my hands and lips
on you in any room in the house, whenever I feel like it. When can
we move in?”

Travis slid his hands down my back, gripping my
ass firmly, his eyes dropping to my lips. “Tomorrow.”

The door flew open and chatter died off. Seth
stood there in dark jeans and a navy collared shirt with the
sleeves rolled up. There was a hard edge in his eyes that took away
from the pretty appeal of his features.

He eyed Travis and growled, “Get your hands off
my daughter.”

My mouth fell open and if anything, Travis
pulled me tighter against him.

Then Seth curled his lips a little. “Just
kidding. Sort of.”

“Alright!” Mac clapped loudly. “Set break over.
You lazy assheads get your butts back on that stage.”

“We’ve still got ten minutes,” Cooper
protested.

Jake slapped him up the back of his head.
“Ouch.”

The room cleared out and with Travis pressing a
soft kiss against my lips with sad eyes, he told me to find him by
the stage after. Brow furrowed, my eyes followed his retreating
back until he was gone too.

The moment of silence was deafening until Seth
shrugged. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to clear the room.”

“Umm…that’s okay. Have a seat.” I indicated to
the couch and then waved at the bucket of ice filled with beer,
soft drinks, and water. “Drink?”

“Sure. Beer’s good.”

I plucked out a beer and a soft drink for myself
and handed it over.

“So…” I murmured, feeling awkward. Seth was my
father, but I didn’t really know him yet. Despite seeing him a few
times since the drama, this was the first time I found myself alone
with him without people shooting at us.

Seth uncapped his beer and took a sip. “So…this
is your job, huh?”

The muffled thump of a beat started pounding
through the walls, indicating Jamieson had taken to the stage for
their last set.

“It is. I worked for Jettison Records before Mac
hired me, but I love this. It’s exciting. Hearing them perform,
watching the crowds go nuts. No day is ever the same, and I get to
travel for the first time in my life. Well…actually I’ve only been
to Melbourne so far and uh, I discovered I’m not a good flyer.”

“I’m not either.”

“Oh.” Remembering the glance Travis shot me
before he left the room, I cleared my throat and asked, “So what
are you doing here?”

Peeling away at the label on his beer bottle, he
offered me a reassuring smile, but it didn’t appear genuine enough
to reassure me. “I’m leaving for work. I…can’t tell you where.
Can’t tell anyone really.”

“Oh,” I muttered again and forced my own smile.
“Well, for how long?”

“I don’t know. Six months… a year maybe.”

“Huh.”

Funny. I’d just found my father and now I was
losing him. I thought maybe we were heading towards a new road
together. Seth was already looking for the exit. I guess that made
me wrong.

Then I looked at his knuckles—they were white,
and his face, I could see it on his face. There was no choice.

“I’m sorry. I spoke to your...to Beth. I went
and saw her.”

I exhaled shakily and rubbed sweaty palms along
my jeans. “I’m not sure I want to hear...” I indicated for him to
tell me anyway.

“She’s… it was difficult seeing her like that,
knowing that was what you lived with. Not that I knew her all that
well, Quinn, but she’s hard and coarse and well, frankly, she’s a
bitch.”

I nodded my agreement. “A douchebag.”

“A poor excuse for a mother,” he added.

“A selfish cow.”

“She’s someone who never deserved you.”

I searched his eyes and found nothing but
honesty. “You’re absolutely right.”

Seth cleared his throat. “My career always came
first with me. I’m two years shy of forty, and I’ve never been in
love or married or had kids of my own. I’ve watched on as my
brothers did all that, and I never felt I was missing out because I
was the one making a difference. Meeting you made me realise how
much I was sacrificing. I know you’re a full grown woman in your
own right, but you…you’re my daughter, and I want a chance to learn
how to be father. I want you in my life, so I…this job is my last
one. I’ve handed in my resignation.” He stood as he spoke, starting
to pace the room. “Is that okay? I mean, I realise now that I’ve
gone and done it without even thinking about you and what you want.
God.” He paused and looked at me. “That’s really selfish, right?
I’m sorry. We’re not off to a good start. Not at all.”

He started pacing again and I watched him
silently, my heart tripping over itself.

I stood up.

I had a father. One who wanted me. I had
friends, a great job, a lazy dog, and a man who loved me, all
because one night my best friend dragged me to a bar and I locked
eyes with a man who took me home and showed me something
beautiful.

I made a mental note to put up with listening to
Lucy say “I told you so” a thousand times and to buy her round trip
tickets to Paris. Then I caught Seth in a hug. He hesitated before
his arms came around me and held on.

“When are you leaving?” My voice was muffled
against his shirt.

“Two weeks.”

I pulled away so I could look at him. “What are
you going to do when you get back?”

He shrugged casually. “I don’t know.”

“Will I be able to ring you?”

“Probably not.”

“You’ll be safe then, right? I mean, I can’t go
rescuing you from all your operations, you know.”

He chuckled. “I’ll be safe.”