Giver of Light (6 page)

So, our daily routines started that night. We'd take turns showering and dressing, he never stepped over the mark, but when we went to leave the room, he withdrew a key from around his neck and unlocked the door. Escape while he showered was not an option. And escape while he was in the room just took on a whole new meaning.

He would prepare breakfast for me, read bits and pieces from the newspaper while I ate, then we would go for a walk around the property. Every day I seemed to be able to manage less and less distance. This did alarm me, but not nearly as much as it did Jonathan. His concern was palpable.

No matter what I tried over the next few days, I couldn't find anything silver, I couldn't find any weakness to take advantage of and I simply couldn't escape without either. I spent the nights exploring the house, which Jonathan and the other vampires had no issue with. I made out I needed to get my memories of the property back and perhaps exploring would help. They could hardly argue if this life of mine now was true and I soon became aware that there was nothing in the house that could aid me in my endeavours. Hence, no objection from my jailers to my night time pursuits.

The rest of the time I spent pretending to be interested in Jonathan, asking questions about what he did for a living, what we used to do together, what our plans for the future were. All of his answers were given with enthusiasm and without hesitation. He doted on me, anticipating my every need, spending every moment with me, trying to make me laugh, to smile even. His care and attention were limitless.

I began to have serious doubts the longer I was there. Not only had I not discovered a weakness, nor found a weapon to aid in my escape, I was beginning to actually like Jonathan, even if I couldn't remember being married to him.

“When will you go back to work?” We were playing a game of chess in the corner of the large open plan lounge, Jonathan's vampire mates were here and there throughout the lounge and maybe back in their own quarters, as only two were present with us now. Jonathan was sipping a wine, I had a glass of water. Wine only seemed to make me more light headed than usual.

“I've taken extended leave for a while. I am hoping having my company will help you regain your memory. You enjoy my company, don't you?” He flashed his devilishly handsome smile at me, it really was quite remarkable. Initially I had tried to ignore it, now it was something I wanted to see.

I smiled back and received a mock sigh in return. “You stun me whenever you smile, sweetheart, it takes my breath away.”

He had started getting more flirtatious in the past 48 hours or so, which had really only taken him less than a week since we had arrived. I, on the other hand, had been smiling more, despite previous reservations and doubts, he was winning me over.

Maybe, I had been wrong, maybe this was my life after all and sooner or later my memories would return.

“I have a surprise for you,” he added as he moved his Queen into position, checkmating my King. A not unusual completion to our games, he was far better at them than I.

I raised my eyebrows at him as I tipped my King over in defeat. “I like surprises.” Or at least, I thought I did.

“Yes,” he said, sounding quite pleased with himself. “Grab your coat and meet me out the front of the house. We're going for a drive.”

The thought of getting out of the house, which had felt like a prison for the past week, was astounding. As he took hold of my hand to help me stand up I was beaming, I knew it, I knew my smile would have stretched the length of my face and some.

He paused momentarily to look at me, his face awash with affection, the lights of the room dancing in his blue eyes, which had started to swirl with cyan and turquoise. For a second I couldn't breathe, they were just so stunning. He cocked his head to the side and held my gaze for a minute.

Finally, he cleared his throat and leaned forward to kiss me on the forehead, this was the most intimate he had dared to be.

“I would move Heaven and Earth for you, Lucinda. You have stolen my heart.”

I felt it then, I'm not sure why I hadn't felt it before, but something opened up inside of me and it felt like sunshine, liquid gold and the promise of so much more.

Maybe, this was right after all.

When I came out of the front door he was already standing beside a white convertible car, which on closer inspection turned out to be a Chevrolet Camaro. It looked like it was built for speed. My eyes must have bugged out a bit because he laughed as he approached to help me down the stairs.

“Does it go fast?” I asked quietly, unable to pull my eyes away.

“It can do. Would you like it to?”

Hell yes. A little speed felt about right just now. I just nodded as he settled me in the passenger seat. In a second he was seated beside me and the thrum of the engine starting made me smile some more. He didn't put the vehicle in drive straight away and I glanced over at him to see what the hold up was. He was just staring at me, with another look of affection on his face, this time laced with astonishment.

“You have been kept inside long enough, my love. You are simply alive this night and you have only just made it to the car. I cannot imagine how you will be when I show you my surprise.”

“This isn't the surprise?”

He shook his head and smiled. “Hardly, but had I known a car could have this effect on you I would have had you in here a lot sooner. I can think of plenty of things that we could do in a parked car.” This was said in a very low, sexy voice which had me blushing even though I knew he was just teasing. He had been nothing but a gentleman. He hadn't pushed me in any way, always happy to just be with me. He rarely touched me, only to assist when I was tired, he never hinted at any past intimacies. He'd been just so damn polite and chivalrous.

I suddenly felt that perhaps I didn't want that anymore.

He must have sensed my change of mind, because his eyes dropped to my lips and he swallowed. I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down and couldn't pull my gaze away.

I expected him to do something, to lean forward and kiss me perhaps, but he just shook his head, as though to clear his mind and put the car in gear. He navigated the driveway and took us smoothly out onto the road. It didn't seem like a very busy road, certainly not at this time of night and I suddenly realised this was my opportunity to see how close neighbours were or whether it would be plausible for me to find help if I escaped.

Rather than get excited at that prospect, I pushed the thoughts away. I didn't need to escape, I was quite fine right where I was. I reached over and took hold of Jonathan's hand as it rested on his thigh. I could tell I had surprised him, the car slowed slightly as soon as I made contact. His head whipping round to look at me.

“Lucinda.” He didn't say anything else and it wasn't a question.

“Well, are you going to show me how fast it can go?”

He smiled again. “With pleasure, my lady.”

It turns out that a Camaro can go very fast. He didn't lower the top, I think we would have frozen had he done that, but the thinness of the cover made it feel like we were so much closer to the environment around us as it sped past. There hadn't been any houses near us, as it turns out, I only vaguely registered when the first neighbour sped past. The speed of the car, the beautiful lush scenery out the window even in full dark and the warmth of Jonathan's hand as he held mine, made me feel safe and happy. I just sat back and enjoyed the thrumming engine and sense of escape the drive provided.

After about half an hour we entered a well lit area, with a rather large car park and more and more buildings the closer we came. Jonathan parked the car and came around to help me out of my side. The air was crisp and fresh, but not too cold, still I wrapped my coat a little closer around me. Jonathan's arm came about my shoulder and added to the warmth. I could see tall, rock like mountain peaks, on either side of a well lit area and hear the sounds of voices from what must be a crowd of people. It was hard to believe he was letting me near other humans. I had been isolated for a week, with only Jonathan and his vampires. If I had wanted to escape, now would have been the time.

Instead I walked happily toward the entrance and took in my surroundings. The sign above the gateway read
Red Rocks Amphitheatre
and the show tonight was
Diana Krall.
I had never seen her in concert before, but I knew her music. I was definitely into a little light Jazz.

“You like?” Jonathan whispered in my ear as we walked through the entrance without anyone stopping us to see our tickets.

“Yeah, I do.” I couldn't keep the smile off my face, I felt free. Finally free.

He knew his way around the venue and led us directly to a private viewing area above all the many people already in attendance, but off to the side. It was enclosed and I had the thought that it might have been why he had taken the risk of bringing me here. I wasn't going to be anywhere near the humans who had flocked to see Diana. They were all seated on long curved bench seats, which made up the amphitheatre, leading down towards the stage. The lights that lit up
Diana's
grand
piano
and the beautiful red rock walls on either side making it look like a Christmas scene, sparkling and vibrant and alive.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was out and about, the bright lights alone would have made my heart soar. For some reason the lights sang to me and I knew this would probably be more true than the music itself. I had been in a house surrounded by darkness and now I had found light. I decided I needed more light in my life. Maybe I could ask Jonathan for flood lights on the gardens back at the house. Light felt very important to me, I couldn't say why, but I just knew it was so.

We sat down and waited for the show to start. Our timing couldn't have been better. Diana came on stage and began her set. I found myself moving forward in my seat and kind of dancing where I sat, the music was great. The performance brilliant. I particularly liked the drummer and the acoustic guitar player, but watching Diana's fingers fly over the keyboard was also a thrill.

It was towards the end of the performance that I realised Jonathan hadn't been watching the show at all, but had instead been watching me. I felt a little self conscious when I turned towards him. He just smiled a small shy smile, one I hadn't seen on his face before.

“Do you know when I first fell in love with you?”

I shook my head, unable to remember when that might have been, unable to form any words at that moment anyway.

“We met in a bar.” He laughed at that. “You walked in on a private function without realising it. We haven't talked much about what I am, but I know you know. It was a vampire function and those humans present were either there as our meals or for entertainment. I thought perhaps you were a late comer to the event and all my dreams had been answered at once. You wouldn't have a bar of it, or me." Something flickered across his face, something alien and frightening, but it was gone before I could recognise it. Replaced with a soft look of longing. "Without a doubt I lost my heart to you that night.” He lifted my hand, which he had been holding, to his lips, flashing his fangs while he went in to kiss the back of it.

I hadn't seen his fangs before and yes, I knew what he and the others were, I'd always known. Plus, I had seen cars arrive to the out building, delivering humans for their meal and then leaving again. But no fangs had ever been on display. But it wasn't that fangs made me draw in a sudden sharp breath, it was the story of where we met, because it rang true. For the first time I felt we actually shared a memory. For the first time I truly believed him.

He saw the look on my face and smiled again, his eyes now dancing the most wonderful shades of vivid blue. “You remember,” he whispered and when I nodded slowly, he said, “Do you remember what else happened that night?”

I shook my head and he breathed a long breath out, one he had obviously been holding, but I hadn't noticed. “We kissed.”

“Did we?” I whispered back. “I don't remember that.”

His eyes trailed down to my mouth and stayed there. “Shall I remind you?” His voice was husky and low, I couldn't help it, I licked my lips.

He groaned and didn't wait for a reply, pulling me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me and kissing me with such passion and need and hunger it stole my breath. It also didn't feel in the slightest bit familiar, but it did feel OK. I thought distractedly, that it should feel better than this if we had been in love, which he so obviously indicated, but the thought was soon gone as his lips trailed down my chin and jaw, over my neck and then without any warning at all, his fangs entered my skin above my pulse and he began to drink my blood.

Part of me realised this was something he had little control over, maybe it was something we had done regularly when we kissed. Maybe he had missed it so much that when faced with such an intimate chance again, he simply could not stop himself. But the stinging sensation of his fangs biting did not feel unfamiliar, just the fact that it was
him
doing the biting that did.

He didn't waste time changing the bite to a more pleasurable experience, making my legs tremble and my body arch and a whimper of need escape my mouth. My hands found their way into his hair and as I began running my fingers through the strands he responded with a quick change of my position, making me end up in his lap. His own hands roaming over my body, down my back, up my arms, across my chest until he found my breast and started rubbing my nipples.

I was immediately on fire, my body responding even though my brain was still trying to catch up. I hadn't felt attracted to Jonathan before tonight, I had begun to like him, to enjoy our conversations, the time spent together, I had even started to want to make him smile. All of this could have led to an attraction for sure, but this response right now was not my own.

I realised this with a sudden rush of clarity and started to push back against his chest. He was of course, very strong, he's a vampire, but I think both of us were surprised at how strong in fact I was too. Because I managed to make him retract his fangs and release his grip on me to the point where I slid off his lap and landed on the floor.

“Damn it!” he exclaimed as he knelt down beside me and reached for my neck. I scurried back from him as fast as I could until my back rested against the wall.

“Lucinda. You're still bleeding, let me stop it for you. I'm sorry, I scared you, I got carried away, but I have to stop that bleeding. Now.”

I reached my own hand up jerkily to my neck and pulled it away when I felt warm liquid run down my fingers. I stared at the red blood as it tracked its way down my hand, over my wrist and under the sleeve of my jacket. So red, so much of it. I felt a little dizzy at the sight of it and it had nothing to do with the fact it was mine. I knew I hated blood, all blood, but I couldn't remember why. I had a sudden flashback to a man lying covered in blood at my feet, then it was gone. The abruptness of the memory shocked me, but in its wake all I felt was a deep seated fear and sudden sense of pure loss.

I looked up at Jonathan and he paled at the look on my face. “Let me make this right.” He spoke softly and slowly, so as not to frighten me. I just nodded, still dazed and stunned and hollow.

He crawled toward me and carefully reached out to hold the back of my neck. “I will need to bring my face in against you. I have retracted my fangs.” He smiled to show me they were gone. “I promise you, no harm will come to you. I will merely seal the puncture wounds. OK?”

I nodded again, unable to voice any concerns, unable to see anything other than blood.

He leaned his head in slowly, but the actual licking over the wounds was fast. He moved right away and sat across from me, just watching my face.

From moments before to now, seemed like an eternity. I had felt like I had come so far and that things were getting better. I still didn't have my memories, but I was beginning to feel a sense of calm at where I was and who I was with. Now, it all felt like a storm tossed sea and I was once again so lost.

Jonathan was very quiet on the trip back to the property and for the next few days. He began to return to more of his normal self some time later, but we never had another trip away and he never tried to kiss me, let alone bite me, again. A line had been crossed and we both knew it. For me, it had been a revelation, it had woken me up from a dream. I was no longer accepting of my surroundings, I was questioning absolutely everything all over again. I could only presume Jonathan didn't want to rush me, as he returned to his attentive, caring, but distant self.

I was happy with that, but having had a taste of freedom I craved for more.

However, my mind might have wanted another road trip, but my body could not have agreed. Three weeks after I arrived I was fading. Not only had a depressive cloud stolen any light I may have had, I was tired only hours after waking and my appetite was getting less and less.

On the fourth week, almost one month after the start of my new life, things changed. By this stage I had stopped eating almost completely. Jonathan tried liquid foods, bland foods, cold, raw, fresh, organic, anything he could think of to make me eat, but I just couldn't keep much down. And with the lack of food came an even greater sense of exhaustion, although the exhaustion had started well before the inability to eat began. I was so frail, so weak and had lost so much weight that even my renewed plans of escape seemed like climbing Mount Everest.

Finally, Jonathan called a doctor in to assess me. He was a vampire - I knew this as soon as he entered the room - and he was short. Really short, like shorter than me and that's saying something. I'm only 5'4” tall, so this guy was practically a midget.