Gnomeo and Juliet
Copyright © 2011 Miramax. All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children's Books, a division of Random House, Inc., 1745 Broadway, New York, NY 10019, and in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto, in conjunction with Disney Enterprises, Inc. Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
ISBN 978-1-4231-5530-0
Printed in the United States of America
“I
'm in love, Benny. Real, passionate, undying, everlasting love,” Gnomeo said to his best friend. They were staring down at the shiny lawn mower parked in the corner of Miss Montague's toolshed. Miss Montague, a human, had already left her house for the day. That meant that the ceramic gnomes, wooden whirligigs, concrete statues, plastic lawn ornaments, and tin weather vanes decorating her prizewinning garden could come to life. They were free to move around only when humans could not see them. Even though Miss Montague would never know it, Gnomeo, Benny, and all the other blue-painted gnomes in her garden took great pride in helping to keep her plants and lawn beautifully trimmed and tidy.
Benny was small, even by gnome standards, but he had a very tall pointed blue hat to make up for his short stature. Like Gnomeo, he loved a fine-tuned, high-horsepower lawn mower. But if there was one thing Gnomeo and Benny loved more than lawn mowers themselves, it was racing them. And today seemed like a good day for Gnomeo to make the red-hatted gnomes in the garden next door eat his blue dust.
“Come on. Let's give those Reds another lesson in how it's done,” Gnomeo said.
“We've got to do more than show them how it's done,” Benny growled. Just thinking of the Reds made the normally mild-mannered gnome go a little crazy. “We've got to take their cheaply painted faces and grind them into the dirt. Grab them by their red hats and smash them against a wall over and over and overâ”
“Whoa,” Gnomeo said, whacking Benny on the hat to snap him out of his sudden tirade. “Let's go before Mom puts us to work. Shroom, are we all clear?”
A small blue-capped stone mushroom nodded from his lookout position by the door. Gnomeo pushed the lawn mower out of the shed and into the sunlight.
“The wheelbarrow is in the garden,” Benny whispered nervously as Gnomeo's mother, Lady Bluebury, approached. “The pigeon has landed.
The pigeon has landed.
YOUR MOM IS COMING THIS WAY!”
“What?” Gnomeo asked. “Why didn't you just say that?”
“I was speaking in code,” Benny replied sheepishly.
“Don't worry. Just get this to the alley,” Gnomeo said, pointing at the lawn mower. “I'll catch up with you later.”
Benny started to move the mower as Gnomeo and Shroom ran off to intercept Lady Bluebury.
“Mom!” Gnomeo cried out merrily, grabbing her arm and leading her away from the shed. “Have you ever seen our beautiful garden from this angle?”
“Oh yes. Beautiful. Especially the wisteria,” Lady Bluebury replied. “So serene. So majesticâ”
“So dignified,” Gnomeo added in his most earnest tone as he gazed upon the wisteria.
The pretty flowering tree was planted in an old toilet bowl. Miss Montague thought the toilet gave her garden just the right touch of whimsy.
“That wisteria tree was your father's pride and joy,” Lady Bluebury said with a distant sigh. “May he rest in pieces.”
Gnomeo put his arm around his mother and gave her a gentle hug.
“You remind me so much of him,” Lady Bluebury continued. Then she looked into her son's face and smiled mischievously. “Which is why I want you to go out there and show those blooming Reds who's
really
the best!”
Gnomeo was confused for a moment, and then a wide grin spread across his face. Lady Bluebury became serious again, and she waved her son away as though she had more important business to attend to somewhere else in the garden.
Gnomeo ran toward the gate that led to the back alleyâand the raceâas fast as he could.
M
iss Montague's next-door neighbor was named Mr. Capulet. He was also a gardener. He liked to decorate his garden with gnomes wearing red hats in the same way that Miss Montague liked to beautify her garden with gnomes in blue hats. Like Miss Montague, Mr. Capulet had no clue that his garden gnomes and lawn ornaments came to life when he was not around. In fact, the friendly competition between the two humans to have the best garden in their little town, Stratford-Upon-Avon, was, in its way, the source of the heated rivalry between the two groups of gnomes. Over the years, it had become Blues against Reds, and Reds against Blues. Every gnome on each side played his or her partâ¦even the pretty daughter of Lord Redbrick, the leader of the red gnomes.
“Wow! A Cupid's Arrow orchid!” Juliet exclaimed. She had just climbed a tree to get a better look at the flower growing out of the top of a neglected greenhouse. The derelict greenhouse was situated in an abandoned garden opposite the Montague and Capulet gardens.
“Juliet,” croaked a frog-shaped fountain named Nanette. “Come down from there! What if your dad sees you?”
As if on cue, the girls heard a booming voice.
“Aaaargh!Juuu-liiiii-et!”
shoutedLordRedbrick.
Hearing her father's call, Juliet jumped. She lost her footing on the tree branch, and her toe sent a red apple flying. It crashed into a ceramic planter on the ground at Lord Redbrick's feet. Juliet grasped another branch and swung through the air. She landed gracefully right on the spot where the planter had shattered.
“Hi, Dad,” she said casually.
“Juliet! Do you want to get smashed to bits?” Lord Redbrick scolded her. He worried about his only daughter, wanting to keep her safe and sound in the garden. Unfortunately, Juliet's love of adventure made for constant tension between them.
“But, Dad, that orchid will put the Blue garden to shame,” Juliet said excitedly. “I could get it. It's just across the alleyâ”
“This feud is none of your consternation,” Lord Redbrick interrupted. He liked to use big words, but he didn't always use them correctly.
“Yes, it is,” Juliet replied. “I
am
a Red, after all.”
Lord Redbrick smiled tenderly at Juliet and said, “Oh, honestly, you are just as impulsivated as your mother.” Lord Redbrick stared off into space for a moment, remembering Juliet's mother, who had gotten smashed in a gardening accident long ago. But before Juliet could take advantage of her father's change in sentiment, he added, “Now, back where you belong.”
“I can't just stay tucked away on that pedestal all the time,” Juliet complained, reluctantly returning to her pedestal in the center of a lush green grotto that Mr. Capulet had lovingly made by hand.
“Going into that alley, you could chip yourself!” Lord Redbrick continued as though he hadn't heard her. “Or worse!”
“So what if I got a little chipped?” Juliet replied. It just wasn't fair! She loved her father, but she hated his rules. Sometimes she felt trapped in the Red garden.
“Mark my words, young lady. You get a chip now, you'll regret it when you're older! Just look at all my scratches and chips!” Lord Redbrick pointed to his arms and legs. They were covered with dents and dings from a lifetime of garden mishaps.
“But I
like
your scratches and chips, Dad! They're you!” Juliet replied. To her, Lord Redbrick's scarred exterior meant that he had been somewhere and done something exciting.
“Well, they are not
you
!” Lord Redbrick exclaimed, exasperated. “When will you realize that you're delicate?”
“I'm not delicate!” Juliet cried out, frustrated.
“She's
definitely
not delicate,” Nanette the frog chimed in.
“Stubborn girl,” Lord Redbrick muttered as he walked away. As far as he was concerned, the conversation was over.
“I'll show him who's delicate,” Juliet said under her breath. She looked up at the Cupid's Arrow orchid growing through the roof of the old greenhouse, and a smile crossed her face.
A
t the same time that Juliet was eyeing the orchid for the Red garden, Gnomeo was getting ready for a lawn mower race in the alley. While Benny and Shroom made the final adjustments to the Blue lawn mower, Gnomeo stole a glance at his competition.
Tybalt was a tough-looking gnome who, much to his embarrassment, had a colorful flower painted on his broad chest. Gnomeo knew he would have to be careful with Tybalt. While most of the gnomes took the rivalry between their two gardens seriously, they didn't really want to see anyoneâor any gnomeâget hurt. But Tybalt was a bully who longed for nothing more than to win to make himself look good. Gnomeo was positive that Tybalt would resort to all manner of dirty trickery to be sure he came out ahead.
Tybalt's crew wasn't much better. Fawn was a doe-eyed, dim-witted concrete deer who would do anything Tybalt told him to do. He was the bully's biggest fan. There was also a gang of small bargain-basement gnomes collectively known as the goons who hung around Tybalt constantly. And at the moment, they were crawling all over Tybalt's shiny red lawn mower, making sure it was ready to race.
By the time Gnomeo and Tybalt pulled their lawn mowers up to the starting line, a large crowd had gathered to watch.
“Tybalt, go! Tybalt, go! Tybalt, go!”
the Reds chanted.
“Gnomeo! Gnomeo! Gnomeo!”
the Blues chanted back loudly.
Gnomeo revved his engine. He had to win this race!
Tybalt sat atop his mower, soaking in the cheers of the screaming Red crowd. “Still stuck with your dad's old rattletrap!” he taunted Gnomeo.
Gnomeo stared Tybalt in the eye but refused to rise to the bait. “Start us up, Dolly!” he called to a pretty girl gnome.
Dolly stood in front of the two mowers. She raised a black-and-white-checkered flag high above her head. She shouted over the roaring engines, “To the end of the alley and back. Your garden's pride is at stake. You know the rules: no hitting, no clipping, no trucking, no busting, no pruning, no flirting, no belching, and
no
cheating!”
“No cheating?” Fawn asked. “That's not fair.”
Dolly finished, “On your marksâ¦get setâ”
“Sucker!” Tybalt yelled, slamming his foot on the gas before Dolly said “go.” He took off down the alley, leaving Gnomeo in his wake.
“Go! Go! Go!” Dolly shouted.
Gnomeo cranked his mower into gear and roared down the alleyway. He leaned over his steering wheel in concentration, driving his mower faster and faster until he was almost even with Tybalt. But the big Red gnome swerved in front of him and pulled the mower's release lever, spraying Gnomeo with grass cuttings.
Before Tybalt could enjoy his moment of foul play, Gnomeo sped ahead of him. The Blue gnomes cheered and danced with excitement.
Tybalt pulled another lever on his mower, giving himself a turbo-boost. He bumped Gnomeo from behind, sending the blue-hatted gnome careening toward the fence.
Gnomeo spied a pile of trash ahead and got an idea. He accelerated and aimed right for the garbage. Using the trash pile as a ramp, he shot into the air. The crowd went wild!
But Tybalt wasn't about to give up so easilyâeven if he had to cheat. The red-hatted gnome reached for a broken pipe in the pile of trash and hurled it at Gnomeo's flying lawn mower.
Clank!
The pipe hit Gnomeo's mower, sending it out of control.
Ka-thunk!
The mower landed with the dull sound of metal on concrete before bouncing out into the street. Gnomeo was thrown clear, landing safely in an old tire.
Tybalt drove a victory lap around Gnomeo, giving his defeated rival a smug grin. Then he headed toward the finish line.
Before Gnomeo could make another move, a skateboarder zipped past the end of the alley and Gnomeo had to dive for cover so the human wouldn't see him. As soon as the coast was clear, he ran to salvage his lawn mower, only to seeâ
CRUNCH!
âhis prized mower mowed down by a speeding car. The lawn mower bounced back into the alley as a crumpled, ruined heap of metal.
Tybalt skidded to a halt on the winning side of the finish line. Fawn, the goons, and several Reds surrounded him, all cheering wildly.
“You're the greatest, boss!” shouted Fawn.
“Oh, please, please, my friends. Tell me something I don't already know,” Tybalt replied, loving all the praise he was receiving.
Benny charged up the alley, waving his arms angrily. “A cheat, a cheat! That's what you are!” he shouted at Tybalt.
Tybalt turned toward Benny. “Well, Benny, I didn't think it was possible, but that mouth of yours is getting even bigger than your hat!” he growled. Then he kicked Benny to the ground!
Gnomeo stormed over, clenching his fists, ready to defend his friend. “Tybalt! You just crossed a line!” he thundered.
“Yeah, the
finish
line!” Tybalt replied with an arrogant laugh. “Adios
,
loser!”
At a wave of Tybalt's hand, Fawn and the goons started pushing the mower back toward the Red garden. Gnomeo fumed as he watched them disappear through the garden gate.
Benny raced after Tybalt. “Come on out and fight like a gnome!” he yelled.
Gnomeo scowled. Tybalt hadn't deserved to win that race any more than Benny deserved to be treated so meanly.
Gnomeo knew that the Blues would expect him to uphold the honor of their garden. And for that he was going to need Benny's help.
“Well, if he won't come
out,
” Gnomeo said, lowering his voice and giving Benny a sly grin, “I guess we'll just have to go
in.
”
“Go in?
There?
” Benny gasped. “No Blue has
ever
gone in there.”
“Then
I
say it's about time someone did,” Gnomeo replied. “And payback is going to be fun.”